Gothic Pick-Up Lines

Pick-up lines seem to a be a recurring thread on the alt.gothic news group. This page is an archive of just about all of the pick up lines to appear there (and a few appropriate ones which have appeared elsewhere).

Some of the lines are bitter commenarty about what idiots are out there.
Some lines are nice and sweet and caused two people to get together.
Most are somewhere inbewteen the two.

There's commentary as to the situations surrounding the lines, which worked and how.

I put forms on this page 'cos it looks nice. Alas, this doesn't come out quite right on some browsers, sorry. I have provided an alternative page, which I don't update near so much, sorry. The forms don't really do anything, they just look cute. Don't fill it out.

"You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend."

"Do you think I could borrow that sometime?"

"I found this on the floor at the club last night, is it yours? Well, if it's not, I'd like to give it to you anyway."

"Is that your boyfriend? I think you can do better than that!"

"So, are you a catholic?"

"So, are you a satanist?"

"So, are you a goth?"

"How do you get your hair to do that?" / "Can you cut my hair like that?"

"Oh, yeah, band name is really great. . .I have all their rare stuff.
You can come over to my place and tape it all if you want."

"You look a lot like. . ."

"I keep all of my most important poems and drawings in this little book. And I'd like you to have it because they're mostly about you."

"Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm....weird chick... And if I don't get one soon, they won't let me pledge... So, if you're not busy, could you come with me to the rush party tonight?? I'd really appreciate it."

"What does net.goth mean? Hey, are you, like, into that computer stuff?"

"So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund."

"Hi. My name is , and I'm a vampire, but only on alternate Wednesdays."

My-yyyy. . . Cree-hee-py Gir-hirl!
Won't you be mi-hee-hiiine?!
I'll give you scrolls and fish
And tinker-toys and wi-hee-hiiine!
The Creepy Girl song from Mystery Science Theater 3000

"So you're a girl huh?"

"Do you like food?"

"Do you like music?"

"Shhhhhhhhhh...... Don't tell anyone but I'm a vampire. Shhhhhhh.... No really. and I'm 4000 years old. Really. but now I live in the valley with my mom."

"Hey you! You in the black!"

"Wait...... The Cure.. right?"

"yeah I know the singer."

"I just wanted to tell you I think you dance really well. It's like when you are out there it's like you don't care what anybody thinks."

"Are you gay?"

"Don't you hate it when people ask you if you are gay!"

"Remember when this club was cool....? You know before everyone I used to hang out with like got jobs or moved out of their parents' house?"

"Worship me!"

"what lovely eyes you have... I used to have some just like them."

"Aren't you insert gothic-y singer here?"

"Didn't I go to your funeral?"

"Pardon me, but my corset has come unlaced. Could you tighten it for me?"

"Have you heard of this band before?"

"Although you seem content, you also seem quite alone over here. Can I interrupt your reverie?"

"Hi, aren't you insert any ficticiuos name here?"

"Did you know you look just like Clint Ruin?"

"If your cheekbones were any higher they'd need warning lights."

"I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down."

"Would you please come home with me and tie me up..."

You're mine... Let's go"

"I'm bored. Entertain me and I'll buy you a beer."

"Blow me if I'm wrong, but you wanna fuck me."

"That's a fabulous black corsett and it goes great with those boots, but they would both look better on the floor next to my bed."

"Wanna go for a ride in my porsche? It's black..."

"Are you here alone or am I going to have to kill someone to win your affection?"

"Say something to scare me."

"I wanted to get your name before one of us dies."

"Hi, my name's , what's yours?"

"You're a cadet, right? what the hell are you doing here? I didn't know any of you had lifes...."

"Do you think it's too forward to ask for someone's phone number in a insert odd place here?" (club or bar might not work)

"Hey, I'm looking for a second girlfriend. How about you?"

"Know any places to buy Absinthe around here?"

"What's your favorite Baudelaire poem?"

"I bet you don't own a CD player, either."

"Hey, do you know Joe Radio?"


"Didn't I see you here last week?"

"Want a drink? I brewed it myself."

"You know, I always though you deserved better [than your ex]"

"Do you know how to turn on the lights of a mercury?"

"Did you know that you have enough tissue on the inside of your lungs to wallpaper the entire room?"

"I love your hair, it's black as tires......."

"Should I buy you a beer now, or wait until after we fuck??"

"Would you like to see my vasectomy scar?"

"Didn't we meet in a previous life?"

"Is that blood, or wine that your having?"

"Can I bum a clove?"

"Is that a rat on your shoulder, or are you just glad to see me?"

"Are you male or female???" (does it matter?)

"I want to (krunk) you like an animal...."

"Are those real or are they fake?"

"Do you have anything else" pierced??? (slutty inflection)

"Once you go black, you never come back..."

"Do you want to see my stone collection"

"Roses are red, tulips are not, do you wanna go home with me and fuck?"

"I am lost here, will you help me out"

"It isnt very good in the dark dark wood"

"Why don't we go somewhere where you and I can talk?"

"I think you should take me somewhere"

"I'm really sorry for staring at you. But I just got back from the Bahamas..."

"You must all be sisters, right?"

"You have the academic look that I lust after."

"Nice scalp, wanna fuck?"

"What? Do you want one of us to come over there and bite you or something?"

"I thought you looked familiar, are you the singer from Curve?"

"I'm not even drunk and I still think you're beautiful."

"Nice boots... Are you a net.goth?"

"You really can do a cartwheel."

"Hey baby, your coffin or mine?"

"Is that a bat in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

"Hey boy, is that a bat under your cape, or are you just happy to see me?"

"Who's been nailing your coffin?"

Hand someone a business card that says: "Smile if you want to fuck me."

"Black is cool, do you have any acid, sweetheart?"

"That coffin looks cool - mind if I fuck you on top of it?"

"I've got these lovely new satin sheets and no-one to share them with."

"You would make a beautiful corpse"

"Some one just walked over your grave"

"Does it stay up all night then?" in reference to a mohican

"Come back to my place and I'll fuck your brains out"

"You'll have to come back to my place to see my cats sometime... how about right now?"

"Are you a stripper?"

"Are you a professional dominatrix?"

"How can I get entangled in your web?"

"I'm a lesbian trapped in a mans body."

"Can I lick your boots?"

"Greetings, I'm name. How about you, me some 30 year old scotch and a set of jumper cables?

"Greetings, I'm name. How about you, me, some Deadheads and a gallon of gasoline?

"Would you care to see my collection of scars?"

"Ever do it on an embalming table?"

"You smell nice"

"Can I get copies of your photos?"

"I love your T-shirt. Can I take a picture of it?" at all times like I do)

"Would you like to come home with me?"

"Ya know, I'd love to drag you into a dark corner and shag you senseless, but it's too public and my ride is leaving in about 5 minutes."

"I've always wanted to snog an American."

"Nice wanna fuck?"

"I fancy your neck."

"That's a nice neck - mind if I bite it??"

"Hey babe, whats with the teardrop thing?"

"Excuse me, young lady. Could I ask you, were we tortured and then burned at the stake as Agnostic Cathar Heretics by the Spanish Inquisition during intimately linked previous lives in the early 12th century?"

"If you swoon at my booted feet, I'll buy you a drink"

"Hey, is that a really long black liner in your pocket or do you carry your own brand of black current all of the time?"

"Go out with me or I'll kill us both."

"You've stolen my heart away. Luckily, I've got another three or four in the freezer."

"I can't believe you have a you seem so complete by yourself. Plus you seem to intense for anyone to handle, except maybe me." (This can be followed by an optional "grrrruf")

"You should come home with me. We match."

"Wow. That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh."

"Nice boots, wanna meaningful relationship?"

"Hey! You two are pretty hot for a couple of dead chicks!"

"You know, I can still have sex up until the eighth month"

"Tell me, is your heart as cold and black as your eyes?"

"What do you think of the principles of Sacred Geometry with respect to Gothic Architecture?"

"No, no, no... what's your real name?"

"Hey, that's a really great costume -- you guys always wear such great costumes."

"Why don't we get some ice cream and go to your apartment and read alt.gothic together....?"

"You are such a wonderful person that I'd love to hug you all night long."

"You're cute. Mind if I use you so I can impress my friends?"

"Pardon me, but would you mind if I looked down your pants for a sec?"

"Are you neurotic, too?"

"I was afraid to talk to you because I think you're incredibly beautiful."

"Excuse me, but your veil is caught in my handcuffs..."

"I'd kill myself for you, I'd kill you for myself"

"Hi, I'm a necrophiliac. How well can you play dead?"

"Nice boots...wanna lick my nutty buddy?"

"What's a nice goth like you doing in a place like this"

"So, do you really, like, tie guys up"

"Hey Miss shaved bits, do you like Archie McPhee?"

"Are you online? Well, you soon will be! I'm the Gothik Babe of the Week Guy!"

"Tell me about yourself, pretty. You intrigue me."

"Heeellllloooooo Zombiechick" (said in best Wakko Warner imitation voice)

"My body is a temple take me home and desecrate me"

"The colour of your eyes remind me of the window cleaner I drink to cleanse my soul...[grab person]... CLEANSE ME!!"

"I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."

"I have been dreaming of you, and writing erotic fantasies about you for the entire year since we met. Will you come and sit with me and let me tell you one of them?"

"I'm just moved here from you know any other good clubs around the area?"

"Want to be my Master for the night?"

"First person who sleeps with me gets a free case of eyeliner."

"Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder"

"Got a light? No? Well can I hold my cigarette against you to light it?"
"Your hair is the color of my soul."

"Hi, I seemed to have misplaced my black lipstick, can I borrow yours?""

"We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck."

"By the way, are you 23?"

"Would you mind very much if I burned out your eyes with a laser?"

"Shall we go back to my place and do all the things I'm going to tell my friends we did anyway?"

"I just wanted to tell you I love the way you dance."

"So, are you ever going to talk to me, or were you just going to continue to stare?"

"Hi. Are you cute?"

"What do you think of me? Because I know I want to kiss you right now."

"Are you here alone, or will someone have to retain your affections over my dead body?"

"If I don't speak to you now, Tamara will break both of my legs!"

"Hi. I like you. I have money. Come home with me."

"You sure move fast for a little "

"Can I have your belt? It is for my collection..."

"if i was going to sleep with a heroin addict it would definitely be you."

"Your calf muscles fall within acceptable parameters. Wanna fuck?"

"You have incredible legs... would you mind if I took them home with me?"

"I can tell you want to do me."

"I don't think that I could get to sleep with an elephant gun slug in my chest! Want to go to a insert appropriate meeting place here after this place closes?"

"You're not really going to get on that bus, are you?"

"I know you have a boyfriend, cause I've seen you withhim. Anyway, if you spend a day with me, just one whole day with me. I promise that you won't want to go back with him."

"The DJ is giving a free cd to the first man coming to the booth wearing a bra and I couldn't think of another way to start talking to you..."

"Hey, would you like to dance??"

"I want to scale you."

"Oh come on, I was high, he was drunk and I'm a slut. It doesn't mean I don't like you."

"I know I have only known you for about an hour, but can I stick my hands down your pants anyway?" insert innocent smile here.

"You could be the 3rd love in my life." said with true sincerity
"'cause 1st I'm in love with myself, 2nd I'm in love with alcohol 3rd could be you.
You could even work your way up to 2nd place, when my bottle's empty."

"Some people you just have to fuck."

"I'll make you famous."

"You wanna have wild, sweaty sex? Would you mind holding still while I do?"

"May I headbut you?"

"Would you mind if I licked you?"

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Lukewarm, bitter and in my lap."

"What flavor are you?"

"I was just looking deep into your eyes and thinking how much the movie Ferris Beuler has changed my life"

"I'm sorry I couldn't pull a corpse out of the wall for you."

"You aren't all that great, and if you were, this sort of lame come-on wouldn't work anyway, but even though you aren't, I'm no goddam prize myself, and I'm horny as hell. Please try to overlook my abject transparency and lack of originality and be so falsely fattered by my remarks that you will eagerly go fucking with me."

"I just shaved the sides of my head. Wanna lick it?"

"I'm drunk and need a wall to lean'll do."

"I just got paid and i was wondering if it would be anough money to get you drunk enough to even talk to me....."

"Dance with me, or I blow you're fucking brains out"

"I can eat girl for 2 days straight"

Compiled and edited by Bob