DiSCLAiMER

The original webdesign team hired to create the pages for the new lost in place site were caught viciously molesting each other, and were immediately executed by means of multiple gunshots & semi-lethal injection.  The pages had to be completed, but the only workers we could find were eight-year-old children from Asian sweatshops.  Given the general lack of any of the required technical expertise, eight-year-old sweatshop laborers are not ideal webdesigners.  But you can't beat the price!  As a result, this webpage sucks.  We know it, & you know it.  We do not ask that you ignore this; all we ask is that you pretend as if this were the most impressive site that you had ever been blessed with the privilege of experiencing.  We would hate to have to start beating the help.

Thank you,

--The Management

"Dreaming Of Promotion"


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Consult your physician before using this web site. Batteries not included. May cause drowsiness. Must be over 17. Not available in all states. Void where prohibited. Not responsible for acts of God. Prices subject to change without notice. Proof of purchase required. Read label before using. No purchase necessary. Some assembly required. Not responsible for typographical errors. Some restrictions apply. Your mileage may vary. Subject to local regulation. Warranty period limited. No refund without receipt. Close cover before striking. No resemblance to any person, living or dead, is intended. Subject to availability. No COD's. Sales tax not included. Shipping and handling extra. For external use only. May cause excitability. Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this web site. If symptoms persist, consult your physician. Keep this and all music out of the reach of children. Parental guidance suggested. Made of 100% recycled and recyclable material. Some irregularities in texture and flavor may occur and are a normal result of the natural processes used. Warranties of reliability, merchantability, or fitness for a particular purpose expressly disclaimed. The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product. In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your physician. Not Kosher for Passover. If you are of Sephardic ancestry, consult your rabbi. Not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. Returns will be subject to a restocking fee. Use with adequate ventilation. Sold by weight, not by volume; some settling of contents may occur during shipping. Repeated or prolonged use may cause injury. Not responsible for lost articles. Call for availability. Avoid repeated or prolonged contact with skin. Contents under pressure; do not puncture or incinerate. Store in original containers. Harmful if swallowed. Do not fold, bend, staple or mutilate. No animals were harmed in the making of this website, except the ones we ate. Do not use in ears. Penalty for early withdrawal. Contains high amounts of carbon monoxide. Prices higher in Canada. Do not operate heavy machinery after use. Do not open cover; no user-servicable parts inside. Any user-performed repairs will void warranty. This music may cause cancer in laboratory animals. Follow maintenance schedule. Wait 30 minutes after using this music before swimming. This website is not a toy. Dry clean only. Unauthorized use without express permission of Major League Baseball is prohibited. No dogs allowed. User responsible for damage or loss. Do not send cash via Canada Post. Contains small parts. Use unleaded fuel only. May cause low birth weight. 99% effective in the prevention of the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Phenylketoneurics: contains phenylalanine. May be exchanged only for an exact duplicate. Use this music on yourself first, then assist your child. The elderly, listeners with high blood pressure, and listeners with a heart condition are advised to play music briefly and take frequent breaks. Not to be combined with other music. Please take a clean plate when returning to the website. No shirt, no shoes, no service. Discontinue use of this website if a rash develops. Not responsible for any sudden outbreaks of Peace on Earth.