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This page is currently undergoing CONSTRUCTION. I know absolutely nothing about HTML, and even though I really am going to work to make this website better & more original, it's really going to suck anyway, so don't expect anything significantly more wondrous in the future. O.K.?

*None of the above statements have been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. All statements promising eternal life are purely fictional. Anyone who actually wants to live forever is an idiot.