A Phoenix Flashback

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I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
And your hands they shake with goodbyes
And I'll take you back if you'd have me
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready

Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always

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*The scene opens up inside the Nederlander Theatre, where the popular Broadway show RENT is playing. The camera shows the stage where the cast is taking their final bows, and then it pans to the third row where Phoenix is giving them a standing ovation while The Messiah sits and claps politely. The cast runs off stage and the house lights come up and we see that it is apparent that Phoenix has been crying. She wipes some tears from her cheeks as she smiles down on Messiah.*

::Phoenix:: Wasn't that amazing?

::The Messiah:: *The Messiah stands up and shrugs* It was alright.

::Phoenix:: *Seeming to not have heard Messiah* Roger and Mimi were so in love... and Joanne and Maureen... and Angel and Collins!!! *Phoenix swoons* It's all so beautiful!!

::The Messiah:: *The Messiah sighs and rolls his eyes* Sure it was... you ready?

::Phoenix:: Yeah, our reservations are in five minutes anyway and we've got a couple blocks to walk.

*Phoenix and The Messiah make their way out of the theatre and head up towards 8th Street and towards their destination.*

*Phoenix and The Messiah walk into Angus McEndoes, a resturant right in the theatre district. They go up to the hostess and they are escorted up three flights of stairs to the top floor, overlooking the hussle and bussle of the city below. The two sit down and begin looking at their menus.*

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And I'll miss your laugh your smile
I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me
I'm so sick of fights I hate them
Lets start this again for real

So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready

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::The Messiah:: So I guess that anger management stuff's really workin' for ya, huh? You definitly seem a lot different...

::Phoenix:: Yeah, isn't it great? I'm actually civil now... *Phoenix looks around the resturant and a small smirk comes to her face* See? There's a girl over there checking you out and I'm not even getting mad about it! I think that's quite an accomplishment.

*The Messiah turns around to see who Phoenix is talking about. He sees a beautiful brunette sitting a couple tables over. He sneaks a small smile at her before turning back around and looking at his menu.*

::The Messiah:: Well it is quite an adjustment...

::Phoenix:: *A confused look comes across Phoenix's face* What do you mean adjustment?

::The Messiah:: Well, when Arizona called, I expected to get the same Phoenix I fell in love with before.. but you're not. You're so different... so.... fake.

::Phoenix:: *Phoenix frowns a little bit* Fake? I am not being fake, Billy.

::The Messiah:: Yes you are!! Look at you Phoenix: you're crying over some sappy love story, you're not kicking that girl's ass... this isn't you!

::Phoenix:: No, you know what? It is me. It's ME, not someone who's just being a puppet on a string to Dewey or you or anyone, it's who I'm really supposed to be. And for once in my life, I'm HAPPY!! So why can't you be happy too??

::The Messiah:: For once in your life? Just once!? What about everything that has happened between us? All the time we've spent together and you've never been happy?

::Phoenix:: No, I wasn't GENUINLY happy... but can you blame me!? Was I treated good? No. Did you make me feel like I was someone special, like I was the only girl for you? NO! How the hell did you expect me to be happy when you treated me like shit? Huh? I thought maybe, JUST MAYBE, my change would actually help you change too, but I guess I was wrong.

::The Messiah:: Yeah, you were wrong, Phe, you were VERY wrong. I'm not about to change just to make you happy. If you want to be in a relationship with me, you should accept me for who I am and not for someone you want to mold me into.

::Phoenix:: Then why don't you do the same for me?!

::The Messiah:: I never wanted you to change, I liked you for who you were!

::Phoenix:: Then why don't you like me for who I am now?!

::The Messiah:: Because you're not the same person I fell in love with!! I don't even know if I love you anymore!

*A look of shock and hurt come over Phoenix's face as The Messiah stumbles for words to recover. Before he can form a sentence, Phoenix was up and running out of the resturant.*

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Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always

I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying

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*Phoenix is shown storming down 7th Street with Messiah not too far behind her. She doesn't bother stopping when the signs tell her to, she just keeps on going. She finally makes it to Penn Station before Messiah grabs her arm and spins her around.*

::The Messiah:: Phoenix, I didn't mean that.

::Phoenix:: Yes you did, Messiah, YES YOU FUCKIN DID!!! You never did love me, did you?? DID YOU?!

::The Messiah:: Of course I did!!

::Phoenix:: When?! Huh, when?!

::The Messiah:: I always have!!

::Phoenix:: So that's why you always hit me, right? That's why you never fuckin' came after what happened with Dewey... you never came to take me home like you promised you would. You loved me then, right? *Phoenix rolls her eyes* I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone, I just want to go home.

::The Messiah:: Fine, you know what? Fine. You wanna be left alone, then I'll leave you alone. Until you get your shit together I don't wanna be around you anyway.

*The Messiah storms off the other way as Phoenix stands and watches him. She then begins to cry, slightly, and then turns and heads for the train station.*