you think gucci socialism is so bloody cool

how to be a good gucci socialist:

youve seen them and envied their stylish, yet socially conscious groove in the european parliaments! now YOU TOO can become a bona fide, red as the soles of your christian louboutin heels gucci socialist!

i am 21.
i live in vancouver.
i go to ubc.
i am a girl.
i really want to go to grad school
but i wont get in.

aim: shelovesjurgen
-sip fair trade espressos and cappuccinos out of a sleek stainless steel travel mug bearing the logo of your dearest cause. upon recognizing the insignia of a beloved cause, other pinkos are apt to initiate conversation with you. this presents a most convenient opportunity to casually mention the summers you spent slaving away in somalia/east van working for said organization. see, your hairstyle may be a $300 coif from suki's, but you are definitely cool enough to bond with the dredheads.

-show carefree irreverance by sticking leftist political pins into your marc by marc jacobs coat.

-have a cell phone. use it to take pictures of you and the comrades downing tanq 10 martinis at the post-demonstration party.

-black armani basics and ethnic jewelry: your saving grace for all those times the dress code is annoyingly declared as "dressy casual" ... jewelry which pertains to your actual/successfully feigned ethnicity is a definite plus

-hang a rainbow keychain from your louis vuitton purse or wallet. let them think youre queer - if someone assumes youre gay cos of the rainbow, condescendingly laugh it off. they will feel like the pedestrian they are while you continue oozing cool by being such a friend of homos that you dont mind being mistaken for one.

-who said greenpeace stickers and bmw's with fat, thirsty engines dont mix?

-art on your walls should be a comprehensive mix of socialist/communist revolution posters, american cold war propaganda, landscapes you photographed gallavanting about the least developed world, and local artists. you should also display certain classical pieces to which you have a deep emotional attatchment. always explain the attachment to guests.

-quote habermas, gadamer, and gramsci ad nauseum. theyre just hot right now.

-quote eminem, and oprah - theyre hot too, and so are you if you can pull off quoting a homophobe and the queen bee of pedestrianity. if shit is given unto you, point out that you respect him as an artist, but eminems views are not your own (quote voltaire if necessary); or that oprah singlehandedly crippled the american beef industry (whats your movement done lately?). being acquainted with mass media icons is the hight of rebelliousness cos its rebelling against the rules of rebellion. my word!

-somehow justify to yourself that prosciutto and peking duck fit seamlessly into your vegetarian diet

-mp3 player playlist: we play both kinds of music, world music and madonna.