Quotes from Steven Wright:
- "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen...and replaced by exact duplicates."
- "I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
- "Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back."
- "Half the people you know are below average."
- "99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name."
- "42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot."
- "A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good."
- "clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
- "If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
- "All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand."
- "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
- "I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met."
- "OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
- "How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"
- "If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."
- "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm."
- "When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."
- "Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy."
- "Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now."
- "I intend to live forever - so far, so good."
- "If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"
- "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
- "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"
- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
- "Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?"
- "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
- "A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking."
- "Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."
- "The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread."
- "To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."
- "The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard."
- "The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up."
- "The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it."
- "Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film."
Homework Page
Class Info
--Class Number: ITSC1313--
--Class Name: Internet/Web Page Development--
--Section: LE41--
--Instructor: Rebecca Brown--
--Instructor's Office: TC 225--
--Instructor's Number: 979-532-6479--
--School: Wharton County Junior College--
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Last Modified: 2-20-03
