The Adventures of Melvin the Head-Bunny
Wednesday, 2 April 2008
Police and Chinese Food and Deaf Men- Oh My!
Topic: Outside Adventures
A few days ago Mousie, Fen and I all went out to our favorite Chinese food place. (Mousie was too sleepy to cook, and Fen's cooking is a little scary sometimes!) Anyway, we ordered three of the vegetarian dinner, only we substituted the hot-and-sour soup instead of the egg-flower. Mousie generously agreed to eat my soup, and I generously agreed to let her. It's tasty and delicious, but too spicy for my little bunny tummy; it also clears out the sinuses and I was sick of hearing Mousie sniffle. I got a selection of the cooked vegetables (some of the cabbage from the Tofu in Black Bean Sauce and some carrots and baby corn from the Steamed Veggies in Broth) and we had a very lovely dinner with lots of leftovers.
As we were leaving, a man about Mousie's age or so came up. At first we didn't know what to think, but he put his hand on his tummy and made the ASL sign for eat, then the one for help. We gave him the leftovers (at my suggestion, because Mousie and Fen had obviously forgotten about them) and then we were all about to go our way when the police pulled up! *gasp!*
They said they'd gotten a call about the man whacking the living daylights out of a poor, defenseless Aunty-Em machine: you know, those ones that like to give out money to people when people feed them plastic and numbers on a pad. I think he must have gotten mad because the one to went to had already given out all her money for the day and he was hungry. Anyway, he motioned to Mousie, and she told the police that he needed help cashing his checks. They looked at the checks, then asked if he had ID. Fen gave him some paper, and the police let him use one of their pens to help everyone communicate with each other. Mousie asked him, he pulled out his wallet, then said they wanted to know where he got them. Mousie asked, he said at home, and then they wanted him to sit over by the police car with it's flashing lights. So Mousie fingerspelled "they want", then made the signs for "you sit over there". She really shouldn't have dropped that ASL class at college. I think she's going to try taking it again over summer.
Anyway, they said they were going to take him in just to double-check on the checks- to make sure he hadn't taken them out of other people's mailboxes- and told us to have a good night. I'm glad they let him eat while they were waiting, because he was pretty hungry! I hope everything turned out okay; we had to go. I guess this is just a good example of how you can help people when you know other languages (or at least a little bit)!
Wednesday, 26 March 2008
Topic: School Adventures
Oh... My... Goodness! I thought that Finals and Cars and Homeless Fish were bad.... But I was so unbelievably wrong! Really, I was! The absolute worst thing that can happen to a poor little head bunny is to be stuck in a thing called a "Fire Drill". They suck. They blow. Now, I know that in all ordinary circumstances, something sucking and blowing all at once simply defies the laws of nature and physics, but somehow a Fire Drill can manage it! It did indeed suck and blow, all at once.
I'm not exactly sure what happened, really. Yesterday, Mousie and I had Fen drop us off early to go to the early session of Psychology; Gramma was picking us up after class for some things we had to do. Mousie really needed to use the grass-with-water (she calls it a toilet), so we went to the bathing hutch. All of a sudden, this loud, repeating kind of screechy-honky noise went off! Mousie just sort of rolled her eyes and pondered aloud if someone had tried to blow up the Kemlab again. (She says it's "Chem Lab"- short for "Chemistry Laboratory"- but how can a c and an h together make a k sound? Duh, Mousie!)
Anyway, as she was washing her hands, this man burst into the women's bathing hutch with a big red-and-white cone that Mousie calls a "megaphone"! Not only was that in itself extremely rude, but the megaphone was what was making the awful honking-goose-in-pain noise! In a small, echoey bathing hutch, the squealing really hurt my little bunny ears. We bunnies, after all, have ears that are far more sensitive than a human's. He ordered us to the grass. Mousie seemed a little peeved, but she can't eat grass to ease her tummy like I can, so it really isn't as useful for her to be ordered to a grass patch as it is for me.
We got there and there were policepeople telling everybody to get with their class. Mousie really started getting annoyed and asked her friend Mike (also there early) that if they were early and didn't have a class, when they burned up in the "fire" that the policepeople would have to I.D. them with dental records. All over it was really noisy and weird, and there were so many people pushing and shoving that I was afraid I was going to get knocked off Mousie's head! And there were scary wasps in the trees that were really mad at all the racket- I was worried about getting stung in my little bunny buttocks, and clinging to Mousie for dear life! Honestly, as intelligent and wise as we bunnies are, it is really rather hard for us to multitask.... We don't have a very large pawspan, you see. So it was only natural for me to be getting a tad concerned at the moment, seeing as how the wasps were circling and people were jostling and megaphones were honking! (Although I wasn't frightened, of course.)
When the honking finally died down, the policepeople said "all clear!" and everybody started filing out. Mousie had to call Fen and have him come back with some things she'd accidentally left in the Car, so we wandered that way. She was griping to him about how if there really was a fire, they'd herded us into a ring of buildings that could easily catch fire and trap us, and that there were evil wasps, and how the meeting point was directly on a fault line, and that there was no way that being on the grass was going to save us from anything at all! I piped up at that and squeaked that that wasn't true- grass would save us from having empty bellies when we died. Mousie giggled and hugged me, then kissed Fen goodbye and we went off to our Psychology class like nothing happened.
Saturday, 15 December 2007
What's a Final?
Topic: School Adventures
Mousie has been really scattered lately. She tells me it's because of these things called "Finals", and that Finals are the most horrific thing known to man outside of Hell and the Holocaust (though I must admit, as a bunny I'm not entirely sure what those things are, either). Personally, I didn't quite get what the big deal was... I went with her to the Final for her Art History class, and it didn't seem so bad....
All she had to do was look at a bunch of pretty pictures and then scribble something about them! Then she had to write letters in this funny little section she called "multiple choice" and write some words in a section called "vocabulary". It didn't take her very much time at all, so I'm not sure why she was having such an issue with it... And I'm really not sure why she spent the last two weeks stressed and crying that she'd never make it and staring at all these little pictures in a book she called a "study guide".
I suppose it just goes to show that humans will never be as mature as we wise and proud bunnies! We know better than to freak out over pages of paper, and we definitely know better than to create anything even remotely as stressing as Finals.
Thursday, 1 November 2007
Topic: Outside Adventures
Last night was Halloween, and there were so many of those little people dressed up in funny costumes it made my head spin! Mousie dressed up too, she had on all black and her hair was up in braids with gold glitter all over it and black feathers, and she had more black feathers stuck to her face to make eyebrows. She put them on with this white goopy stuff she called "liquid latex". She looked pretty scary, I didn't know what to think! But then she smiled at me and everything was all okay again... Besides, those little feathers were kinda fun to bat at while I rode on her head- it distracted from the glitter itching my tail!
Anyway, she and Fen went to see this late showing of the movie 30 Days of Night. When we got there, there were a bunch of the employees and other movie-goers dressed up too! There was even one employee in an old yellow "Wolverine" costume from X-Men. He had the hair going for him and everything- he said it was naturally like that, he just encouraged it slightly with a little hairspray. We took a bunch of pictures, but Mousie says I'm not allowed to post them because of the other people's privacy. I guess that's fair, but I still wish I could show you!
Once we got in the theater and settled, I started getting chilly, so I snuck down and cuddled on Mousie's neck. Then the movie started... It was a really creepy vampire movie! I was scared the whole time, but I really got scared during this one spot... I dove my little face against Mousie's neck, and then all of a sudden she screamd and I got smacked and went flying! SHE HIT ME! I couldn't believe it! I think the indignation of being flung through the air like a common napkin was the only thing that helped me get back up the stairs to where she and Fen were sitting without freezing up in fear... the movie was pretty scary!
I nipped Mousie's finger, and she completely deserved it... even if after the movie she did explain that when I dove into her neck she freaked out and thought some psycho in the theater was trying to play vampire on her. I'm NEVER going to a horror movie with Mousie again! I'd rather stay home where I'm not in danger of being tossed about like a ragdoll. XP*
Saturday, 8 September 2007
WOW! I take back what I said....
I lied, Mousie isn't boring, she's AMAZING! She finally got me my own email address, just so you all could email me... isn't that great? Now you can send me all the questions you've ever wanted to ask me and I don't have to wade through all the crud in Mousie's inbox to get them. Yay!
You can email me at email@example.com, whenever you please!
Well, this week has been boring!
Now Playing: Emilie Autumn - Opheliac (Double Disc CD)
Good grief, Mousie's been soooo boring lately! She's been sleeping most of the time because she was sick, and she's missed this week of school... Thank goodness she had Monday off anyway because it was her birthday, but being sick on your birthday still sucks mauve monkey marbles! When she hasn't been unconscious, she's been playing this game called Ar Tonelico: Melody of Elemia, or working on our site for me.
I am a bit of a taskmaster, I admit. But I don't see it as a failing. No! You see, it just means I have good people skills and inspire loyalty! Mousie's laughing at me right now. I am magnanimously ignoring her. Until tonight when she's asleep, then I'm gonna shove one of Fen's nasty-stinky workboots under her nose. HA! Hahahaha!
Anyway, under my direction and special brand of encouragement (Mousie calls it "slave-driving"), Mousie has made a lot of changes to the site. Our All Hallows section is mostly new and shiny now... And she learned to make animated graphics in Photoshop, so now the icons at the bottoms of the menus are sparkly and original. I'm very proud of her, I only had to smack her upside the head and tell her to get back to work once! You really should check it out, we've done such a good job that I'm sure you'll be impressed!
PS: We are now on the official Emilie Autumn forums under the screen name "valley_yuri"... So if any of my fans are on there, feel free to email me and I'll get back to you when Mousie decides she feels like answering my messages for me.
Wednesday, 22 August 2007
So many changes!
Topic: About Mousie
Okay, get this- Mousie is no longer working at the hospital with the bunny topiary that looks like a green, twiggy version of me. She's not working right now, period! However, she did take me to this huge conglomeration of buildings that she called "College" today, along with her mom... (Her mom's burgandy monster is much cleaner than Mousie's gold one!) So I guess now we're working at this "College" place. Mousie giggled at me and said... "Well, sort of." She said it had changed a lot in the five years since she'd last been there, and that the Administration building made her feel like she was a Cub Scout going to a Ranger station. Even though she isn't hairy enough to be a bear. Or even a lion.
We had breakfast before we went and Mousie filled out this paper form. We gave that one to a lady in a window, and I think it was a license for other people to hand us more papers, because Mousie had a ton more when she came out than when she went in. She says she starts classes Friday- hopefully it doesn't conflict with anything else! And she had to be there AGAIN tomorrow to take an assesment test... like no one on the planet knows she's smart, they actually have to test her and make sure. Sounds like a waste of paper to me, but hey, whatever!
Now that we're back at her Mom's place, I persuaded Mousie to let me put in a blog update... Seeing as how she has to type for me and all, I do need her for a few things. Later we're gonna go watch Stardust with her mom (second time for us, first time for her). I'm happy, because that movie is so funny! There's a pirate guy, Mousie says he's played by some guy named DeNiro, who's hilarious as all get out! And such... hmm... FABULOUS!, that's it! Such FABULOUS! costumes on that man- they really put in a lot of work for him. You'll love it, GO SEE IT. Anyway, I need to go because Mousie's griping about needing to pee, so I'll see you all later! Ciao!
Monday, 21 May 2007
Now Playing: Bad Reputation by Joan Jett
Topic: Hospital Adventures
Last week Mousie took me to her work. The hospital is really interesting, even though it does have a lot of those "children".... Personally I can't see how they're called "children". Real children are much smaller, have tiny tiny fluffy tails, and little bitty long ears. And it's even interesting although it has vast oceans of that stuff Mousie calls "parking lots", but which are really parts of the far reaches of the earth. She even took me in her monster! She calls it a "car". I was scared to go in at first, but Mousie said it was okay, and actually LET herself get eaten! Apparently all the books and water bottles and stuff that were in there were tastier than we were, because when we got to the hospital the monster-car creature kept those, but spit us out.
We "clocked in" and started to work. People kept asking questions about other people that were called "patients" and Mousie directed them. I don't know how she did it, it's such a big place that a person Mousie's size can get lost! A little bunny like me knew better than to wander off, because if a person Mousie's size can get lost, how much easier would it be for a small little bunny like me to lose my way and never get back home?
Anyway, there were so many people that not many stood out, but there were a few that I remember. The first one was this black lady. She was really pretty, and looked very classy in a white sundress and what Mousie called "kitten-heel sandals". She had a gold leather bag and big sunglasses with the word "Dior" on them- Mousie told me that word means the sunglasses were expeeeeensiiive! Anyway, we were watching her wander around this big open space Mousie called the lobby, talking to ourselves what nice taste in clothes and accessories she had.... When all of a sudden the lady turned around, and we saw her HOT PINK UNDEROOS through her white skirt!
Mousie almost lost it, and pretended to be sneezing into a tissue to keep from laughing out loud at her. Then she saw her friend Alex from the food-place. (Mousie tells me it's called a cafeteria, but they don't serve meat, so where does a baby cow come in?) She told him about it, he didn't believe her, and went outside then came back in so it didn't look like he was looking. When he came back he was giggling and nodding and saying he had to go tell the gals in Admitting.
There was this other black lady who was, as Mousie put it, totally off the meds. We thought she was there to visit a patient but four hours later she wound up sitting barefoot on the carpet in the lobby and doing weird stuff. I mean, weirder than Mousie cutting up a perfectly pretty shirt to make armwarmers... Like throwing invisible rocks at windows, and jiggling her hips at people, and making rude farty-noises with her tongue and shaking her fists at people who weren't really there at all. So Mousie called security and they got her out, but the security guard said she almost got hit and that the lady was yelling how it was a plot by "the man" to bring her down. Mousie laughed and said that was funny, since a black lady in Admitting's the one that said we should call security... I didn't get it, but oh well!
We also saw this hispanic lady who just stopped long enough to say her son was allergic to nuts and she'd given him a shot already. Mousie took one look at the kid and told them how to get to the pediatric emergency room, then called down there to let them know the woman was on her way. I thought it was nice that someone was looking out for a little person like that.
After a long and exhausting day at work, Mousie finally said it was time to clock out. Before we left, she took me over to the children's side of the hospital and showed me a bunny, made all out of a bush! Mousie said that they did the topiaries to make the little sick kids feel a little happier. I think they did it because they knew I was coming. After all, I am Melvin, King of the Bunnies! RAAAA!
Thursday, 12 April 2007
Now Playing: "Chambermaid" - "Enchant" CD - Emilie Autumn
Topic: Apartment Adventures
The weather around here has been crazy the last few days! It's been so windy I've been tying Mousie's braid around my waist... if I don't, I'll probably get blown off! Even though we're inside, she insists on letting in the "fresh air" (yeah- right... more smog than L.A. and N.Y.C. combined, and she calls it "fresh"). And it's still windy in the apartment! I don't know how she can sit at the computer in her tank top and sleep shorts... I'm freezing!
Anyway, there we are, working on her new Summer collection (and *I'm* the one who spotted the ad that inspired it!), and I'm freezing my cute-'n'-fluffy tail off... when all of a sudden we hear a big gust of wind whistle through, then this huge crash! Of course we both were very startled, and got up to look out of the window. I hopped from Mousie's head to the window sill- satisfying my curiosity was far more important than not being blown away!
Another head poked out the doorway across the walkway- it was her glass that was broken! Mousie asked what happened and the lady said her aquarium had blown over, and started picking up the glass. Mousie nodded and went back to work, but I thought of all those poor homeless fish, and knew I had to do something! I pushed the window screen out a little and wiggled through, falling into a soft bed of ivy.
I knew I had to go about this carefully so I didn't get stepped on! I rustled my way across the ivy bed to the concrete, and then hopped as hard and fast as I could to keep from being blown to the far reaches of the earth. That's a pretty scary place... I mean, it has huge monsters called cars, and the ground is completely black. No plants grow there, either. Mousie calls it a "parking lot", but I know better.
Anyway, I made it over to where the aquarium got broken... but there wasn't any water anywhere! I couldn't even find any fish! I was too late, they were already swimming in fish-fish heaven! I started bawling for the poor little fishies that were no longer with us. I was crying so hard that I didn't hear the across-the-walk-lady say that they'd just have to keep the fish in the dirty tank until the weekend when they could buy a new one. Gasp! Happy day! Not only are the fish-fish alive, but they aren't homeless! It all worked out for the best!
I did another mad dash across the concrete. Even though the wind died down a little, there are these strange little people that Mousie calls "children" that like to run around, and could squish a little bunny but good. I'm glad Mousie came out then, because I would have been stuck outside.... From the ivy to the window is a very long way to jump! I'm glad that the fish are safe... and even gladder that I am too!
Wednesday, 21 March 2007
My First Adventure?
Now Playing: Lithium by Evanescence
Topic: About Mousie
Mousie is scary! Here I, Melvin, am... Sleeping in her inventory pile among all her pretty designs (my favorite is her Rock Out! Original SST
because it has a picture of ME on it)..... Anyway, I hear some racket from the noisy next-door neighbors of hers and I hear her telling the most horrific ghost story! There she was, talking with her friend Funkandy
and telling him about Jack the Ripper! Well, as a bunny, anything with the word "ripper" in it reminds me of my dearly departed great-grandfather who just 3 years ago was separated from his skin by an incident with a maddened taxidermist/chef....
Of course, not wanting this Jack fellow to find me, I hopped my adorable, perfectly shaped bunnytail right out the inventory door! I wandered for quite a bit until I found myself face-to-face with a gigantic Jack-o-Lantern.... I panicked! The Ripping Jack had found me! I was simply a helpless little red head bunny, caught up in the wheel of cruel Fate! I started squeaking for help, but of course none came, because I had wandered out of my safe and happy inventory and Mousie couldn't find me... I cowered before this monster Jack, and although I hate to admit it, I realized I wasn't quite the brave bunny I had thought myself to be.
Right about that time I felt warm, familiar hands scoop me up. "There you are, Melvin! I was looking for you! You were out here in the room, no wonder I couldn't find you!" It was Mousie! I had never been so happy to see her in my little bunny life as I was at that moment.
"So, how do you like my new chair?" she asked, pointing at the giant Jack I was sure was still going to kill me... But it was just a chair? Well, I puffed up my little bunny chest and stuck my tongue out at it. I knew you were a chair all along, I thought at it, and not an evil taxidermist after all! All the same.... Mousie's head is by far a safer place to nap. I think I'm going to sleep there now. And next time, I'm not going to leave my snuggly pile of EZ-Tees!
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