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I wrote this in AP English 11. I never got to hand it in...

Owning a lining of greasy slime-entrenched fatty tissue of the yellowiest in color and secreting a permanently penetrating noxious fume that assails the nostrils of any who dares inhale the tiniest gasp of air, the unconscious carnivorous man's colon is barely visible to the human eye in most places on account of his fondness for the flesh of various other mammals, particularly those with a fat to muscle ratio equal to that of his or higher. Being eighty percent homegrown fat himself, it is quite a wonder where he obtains such meat, let alone how his colon has been able to withstand such a beating for the past forty-two and a half years while such gluttony still reigns supreme over the doubly obese man's life. Anticipating a long night awaiting him, the head doctor orders the nurse to hand him his scalpel; the unhealthy habits of the man lying on the operating table before him have caused his colon to be stretched out, scarred, and infected beyond all repair. A colonoscopy is no longer feasible to perform on a colon so near to the point of rupturing; an emergency colon transplant is in order.