http://www.tshirthell.com/images/contestpics/a39_003.jpg A Story of Hope This is a story Of a child and place A little girl named Julie With her momma's face Julie is alone Without her parents by her side An ill-fated crash And her daddy said goodbye Her momma took her away from there And that is where she stayed Until the day her momma died Laying in a hamock by the bay Sixteen years old With nowhere to go She ran far as she could For a family, she searched high and low Then one day When the angel looked upon her And granted her the wish A boy from nowhere also They were soon married With a child on the way Living in a house Warming, and cozy again by the bay This story has theme Touching as can be There is always hope I hope that you will see

After The Rain I will still be here waiting to be accepted but it's not like i need it i know who i am after the rain i still am.

Caught Between I finally found love Oh, can't you see? But the problem is My boyfriend is not the one he be But it's hard to break it off I don't wanna hurt him again But I love the other guy Can somebody please help me Caught between Two different guys One I care for, The other I adore I give my heart to the cowboy But the troublemaker's still there I'm caught between and I can't get out Decisions, Decisions I'm caught between With my all-star boyfriend Some good memories Sharing laughs, and playful teasing, But with the country boy You can not believe Cruisin' in his truck Letting that Bluegrass music Take me away Caught between Two different guys One I care for, The other I adore I give my heart to the cowboy But the troublemaker's still there I'm caught between and I can't get out Decisions, Decisions I'm caught between I'm caught between..someone help me My boyfriend was there for me And he cares so strongly Midnight conversations Lullabies to me Walking me to class Oh, can't you see I'm caught between Two very simple dreams I'm caught between Two different guys One I care for, The other I adore I give my heart to the cowboy But the troublemaker's still there I'm caught between and I can't get out Decisions, Decisions I'm caught between I'm caught...I'm caught...between

In The End If we are meant to be I wish I could stop feeling this pain in me If I were to lose you this very day I suppose I'd move on But my love for you would stay Until the day I die I know this is true In the end The sky is still blue More than a friend, or not? My boyfriend is great Sweet and caring My friend for sure He makes me laugh And I love him for that But I don't know if I love him Anything more than a friend What am I to do? I'm giving him a chance I don't want to hurt him But do I love him Control If I had the chance right now, To swallow a bottle of aspirin, I would. If I didn't feel the pain, I would cut myself so deep and bleed, Until my body dies away, I'm crying, no one cares, And my heart is going to explode. My body hurts. My mind hurts. My heart hurts. Life is deadly, Now I will cause my own death... The Problem with the World The problem with the world Is the people in it We all cry for help But our pleas are unanswered Heros are no more We find our own escape Suicide, and Homicide Blood and chaos, too The problem with the world Is the people in it We all cry for help But we don't fucking care Ramblings of a Lonely Soul My heart is stone cold Ice into my veins I breathe the spirit of the dead Immortal is my soul And I shall never know The warm of love's touch I will never die That is how I know Too high a mountian Too deep a ocean For anyone to get close This is my rambling of my lonely soul. I am Eve I am Eve as I taste the forbidden fruit But after my taste of evil I feel the sin of my ways. I see myself as naked Vunerable to the darkness I am weak and am tempted I acted on my lust Dearly I paid For my foolishness I am Eve Banished from the righteous garden of Eden. My First Time I trusted him completely Kissed him with love His strong, lean body warmed me As he lay me down His tounge stroking mine He caresses my body As I moan my pleasure As he takes me with long, sweet strokes He says he loves me Even now as I look back On this one moment When I knew joy I don't regret it Even though I cry Because I was used But to him, now I say goodbye. I hate my father He's been absent Almost everyday since I was born I see him maybe Just once a week I should be happy But I'm not He yells at me Calls me fat Selfish, stupid And a million other things He hits me when He thinks I'm doing wrong I try to make him proud And love me like a daughter But he never listens He doesn't even care Hate may be a strong word But it's good enough for me. Is it wrong? Is it wrong to love a girl When I am but a girl myself Is it wrong to have these feelings But it feels so right People tell me it's wrong To love the same sex I do like guys But I like girls, too I like her lips Want her to reach close Her heat drawn to mine A tender kiss between us Is it wrong? That's the question. But I don't think I need an answer I know the truth. I am an Artist I am an Artist I draw what I see The beauty everywhere Even deep inside of me With a stroke of my pencil Art comes alive I am an Artist I paint what I see Even in my creative mind Using every color With a stroke of my brush Art comes alive I am an Artist I make what I see Animals to Goddesses With clay, marble Even stone My stautes come alive. I am an Artist. Period. My David Pretty blue eyes Long black lashes on the face that melts your heart, so sweet A 5-year old's face of wonder and laughing Smiling always It holds you in awe Short blond brown hair A perfect little nose Mouth that says what it feels a face of innocence and beauty, of my David. For the Ground One more push And I could fall Spread my arms and soar To an end you would not ignore If I choose I could jump Allow the angel of death my poor soul But then no one would know Where my heart lies How I dream of something better I don't believe in God So who will help me now The edge is calling I need help I send out this message For the ground Stacy Seven years old; but old enough to know Becoming friends without caution We played in the backyard Walked down an old path Memories surround us You're more than a friend, though Like a sister in my heart We discovered boys We discovered high school Together, we will never part Now as we grow older Grayer we become I only hope Forever you will be There for me, as I am for you Cold Flames The fire burns Crackling Soothing Burning the cold away My eyes turn red As I stare The orange glow lights My pale skin All I ask of it Is the fire The giving fire To light my cold soul Feelings I can't hide I am a girl With feelings I can't hide I cry myself to sleep Because of a world afraid them For I am wrong As they say Because I happen to love The same sex I don't feel it's wrong So why should I care? But I do.

Good Charlotte Kicks Ass! Sure does.... I don't want me either If you want me, tell me I can understand if you don't I don't want me either If you want love, I'm here I can understand how it is without love Trust me, I've been there only too many times If you want to kiss me, just go for it I won't pull away I've been waiting long for this If you want to stay, you can But only if it's forever It's love me now or love me never If you hate me, I will cry But I understand I don't want me either. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ To Love I want what I want. I need what I need. Do you even care? You should, I would care for you, And maybe I do. But you won't know. That's my secret... Open up to me, and I will tell you, But I think you already know. At least I hope so. =============================================================== my reality my mind went blank, my body numb i was blind, in a way i was lost, and i still am i was hurt by the one guy i ever truly loved and now i have another guy who says he loves me so much but i can't believe him i lost my trust...my faith i've never really believed in god but since that one guy i ever truly loved it's been worst i cut myself again...deeper than i ever have and i felt no pain at all the blood calms me down brings me back to earth...my reality ~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@ Dear One I Love, If only you could know What is in my heart Burning in my soul This letter is for you But you will never see it Never know how much You really mean to me Every time I see you I feel I want to cry You are my friend Yet that hurts deep inside You don't want to be more I know this, too That's why this little letter Is like my heart..crushed.

Craving Excuse my leaving, but I have to go My head is pounding I feel my body get weak Oh, a craving comes Beware I smell your blood Flowing through your viens I see your uncovered neck Calling me I hear the sound A midnight full-moon growl Your skin is soft I feel as I move past you It's takes all my strength to move away They would surely try to kill me If I had my way Into the chilling darkness I become shadow As I welcome the night When it is time to feed I seek my protection Immortal in my world Whispering and tempting I have the craving of the dead Blood, it shall be mine.

Crying I just heard your voice As you called me on the phone You didn't talk long My voice is sad I thought you would notice But you didn't I'm thinking of hurting myself Dying young never looked so good But you don't care, do you? Why is it when I heard your voice My heart stopped and my soul forgot to breathe You didn't hear it, did you?

Never Go Away (The depression poem) She stares at the pictures, as she starts to cry She'll never be who she was before, no matter how hard she tries She puts on the act, so no one will know Days go by, she still goes with the flow But now its getting harder to smile each day When everything is slowing being stolen away She was doing fine and never asked for this How she used to be, she's beginning to miss It seems to her that friends and family don't care Sometimes its like she the only one there Everything is harder now, most things have become a bore It's gotten the best of her, she doesn't feel anymore Now she's empty, lost, hallow, and alone She has become someone else; a life not her own Nobody knows she's being torn up inside She always wants to be alone, or run and hide She ripped all those old pictures up today Because she knows this will never go away poem my sister wrote... I feel it Like a knife Like a burn Something is crashing Crumbling caving in It is the most painful emotion Known to man and woman A sensation that kills you Your trust Your happiness Losing the hope Which helps you to live Desire stripped by the Devil that you loved Once My heart was broken And the cessation of Breath Occurred My love, My heart Murdered me -Carve away these imperfections- From a little girl to a young women Everyone has always admired her Always said how beautiful she is But no one sees how truely ugly she is She wants to be perfect but that's just a dream A dream that will never come true She tries to carve away her imperfections Instead of letting her tears run she lets her blood run She's a broKen child with so many darK secrets And so many bad memories of her past Everyday is a struggle to hold on She's looKing for a reason to stay alive While contemplating suicide She decides to give it one more day And then she'll let herself slowly fade away...

Do You Feel Me March 12, 2003 do you feel me, as i walk behind you in the shadow of darkness, in pain I pray for what has fallen over your poor soul is leading you the wrong way, and you have no idea do you feel me, i touch you and combine our sinly ways i'm your angel, evil knows your name i'm only the messenger, truly i want you, to save you you have only so long to really live you will know, the moon's pale light falls do you feel my warm breath on the curve of your neck as i feel your soft flesh and partake in the sweetness it leaves a sour taste in my soul do you feel me, i will always be here

Fall She's on the edge Ready to jump The edge is getting thinner The world's breathing down her neck Life's too hard She can't take it anymore She has no friends Her family left her behind Here's where the bus stops You gotta get off End of the line No where to go Hope's been used up No more for this girl If she's too young to be taken Why don't you stop her now? She wants to fly She can't do that there She looks down Blue, blue eyes She takes a breath Closes her eyes Moves a little forward Before she falls She hears a call She stops where she is Through her eyes You can see A little girl now free She takes a step back Turns around And gets on with her life.

Falling Freely She's gonna fall / with no one to catch her / no one to help her be / she's gonna fall / falling forever / bring her back to see / what she needs / is a good true friend / just to let her be / herself, don't let her fall Falling freely / into a bliss / you can't help me / I can't help this / down and down / into the drain / over and over / over again She's gonna fall / with no one to catch her / no one to help her be / she's gonna fall / falling forever / bring her back to see / what she needs / is a good true friend / just to let her be / herself, don't let her fall She's gonna fall / with no one to catch her / no one to help her be / she's gonna fall / falling forever / bring her back to see / what she needs / is a good true friend / just to let her be / herself, don't let her fall Life problems / problems they be / falling into my lap / falling harder / It's gonna break her / It's better to be dead / then spirit broken / better off dead / the hope ran away with faith / falling freely She's gonna fall / with no one to catch her / no one to help her be / she's gonna fall / falling forever / bring her back to see / what she needs / is a good true friend / just to let her be / herself, don't let her fall

Finding Myself (C) 2003 Raven Black I sat there staring, as if something in the dark corner amused me. The corner was empty, I was just trying to not look at my brother. Ryan Deacon was tall, and so intimating, even though I had been used to him. He was only two years older than me, and at 18, he was big for his age. He was talking to me, even as I tried to block him out, about my fighting at school. I wasn't suppose to be getting in fights. "They will take you away from me, Kalia, you don't want that do you?" Ryan pleaded. "No.." I drifted off. Our mom had abandoned us when I was 6 years old, and our dad had died from lung cancer just a few months ago. That left me and my other brother Cody, who was just 12 years old, in Ryan's care. We had to move from our beautiful two-story Victorian house in Buck Ridge, Florida to Ryan's one bedroom apartment in Los Angeles. Ryan got the bed, since it was his house, and Cody got the couch, which pulled out into a bed. During the summer, which it was now, I slept on the baloney in an oversized chair. The apartment was on the third floor of the building. When it got chilly, I slept on the couch bed with Cody. "Well...let's hear your side." Ryan said, leaning back. "Okay. I was walking to the gym, and these girls that don't like me started messing with me. The one, Rochelle, was saying things about Daddy, and how he was crazy and all, and that I was like him, so I hit the bitch." Our dad had been in hospitals for his mental illness. He had depression, a really bad case of it, too. "Just please try not to get in any more fights, please, Kaila, please." "I'll try." "Thank you." Ryan got up and got his coat out of the closet. "I'm going to pick up Cody from school, be back later." "Later." He opened the door, just as Madison Foyer was going to knock. "Hey sexy." Madison smiled at my brother. She had a big crush on him, and I rolled my eyes. "Um..bye, Madison." Ryan moved around her, and went down the hall. Madison had turned to look at him. "Quit staring at my brother's ass, Maddie." I got up and got a coke from the fridge. The kitchen was opened up to the living room, and from the front door you could see those two rooms plus the small dining room, that didn't have a table right now. "Sorry, he's just so damn hot." "MADDIE! Hello...he's my brother. Flesh and blood." "Sorry. Again." Madison rolled her eyes and shut the front door. "So, what's going on?" "Nothing, but my brother just talked to me about me fighting." I tossed her a bottle of water. She didn't drink sodas, or anything. "Thanks. Yeah, Pablo told me about that." Madison laughed, and plopped down onto the worn-out couch. "You really make Lorie cry! Damn, I wish I could have seen it." "Yeah..really. So how is Pablo?" Pablo was Madison's stepbrother, just a year younger than us, and in some of our classes. He was really smart, but didn't act it really. He was rarely serious. Madison had lived here all her life, and her dad died when she was just a baby. When she was 11, her mom married Carlos, this hispanic 6"5 bouncer at a club. When they married, Carlos paid for a joined apartment with three bedrooms right under Kaila's apartment, of course Kalia wasn't there at the time. Carlos, and his two sons Pablo and Anthio moved in. Anthio was cocky for being only 13, and acted like everyone wanted him. He always tried to hit on Kaila, and basicly any other girls around, even Madison. But Pablo was okay, and Kaila's best friend, besides Madison. "Pablo's okay, he misses you though." Madison grinned. She had been trying to hook up Pablo and her since Kaila moved here. Pablo had been with his mother since Friday afterschool. Today was Sunday and he had just gotten back. "Give it a rest, Maddie. Me and Pablo are just friends and it's going to stay that way." Kaila sighed, and went to the baloney. "Why? You like him, he likes you!" Madison followed her out there, bringing her water bottle with her. "It would ruin our friendship!" Kaila sat down in the oversized chair, and pulled her feet up. "Okay, I will drop it...." Madison sat down beside Kaila, and put her head on Kaila's shoulder and grinned. "...for now." Kaila rolled her eyes. Cody waited in front of the school. Where is Ryan? Damnit, he's late. Cody sighed, and leaned his head against the wall. He pushed his hair out of his eyes. His black hair was to his ears. He closed his eyes, listening to a train in the distance. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped, and opened his eyes to look. A girl with curly honey brown hair, and piercing blue eyes was staring back at him. "Who are you?" Cody asked, leaning back, his muscles relaxing. "Lauren Farrell. I'm a new student here...I'm waiting for my brother to come to walk me home." She tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. Cody saw a small blue daisy dangling from her ear. He looked her over. She was different from the other girls. They would wear clothes they were too young to be wearing, not that the boys were complaining, but Cody thought Lauren looked beautiful. She was wearing a baby blue sundress, and had her arms around her books. He stood up, and smiled. "I'm Cody Deacon. I'm waiting on my brother, too. He's coming in a car, though. We don't live far from here, but he doesn't want me walking. I'm new to the city." "Really? Where are you from?" She tilted her head, slightly. "Florida." "It bet it was beautiful down there. I'm from Minnesota. It was okay there. I moved up here because my mom wanted to move to Germany, and didn't...want me to come. I came to live with my dad. They were divorced." Lauren's voice paused while she was talking, and when she said her mom didn't want her, Cody swore he saw her blue eyes glaze with unshed tears. "I understand that. My mom abandoned our family when I was two years old. My dad died just a few months ago." "Oh..I'm sorry." He could see sympathy in her eyes. "Don't be. Me and him were never close. He was in and out of mental instutions all the time." "Oh..." She looked uncomforable, so he didn't to change the subject. "What grade are you in?" "I'm a 7th-grader. I skipped a grade." "Really? Me too." He smiled and she returned it. "Well.." She looked around the parking lot. "I don't think my brother is coming...He forgot probably. He forgets things." "Where do you live?" "West 49th Street. In the Landoak Apartments." "No problem, I'll walk you if you want. That's just like two blocks from my place." "What about your brother?" Lauren asked. "He would let me walk you. He wouldn't like you walking along. Plus he goes down that way, if he comes, he will see us walking." "Okay.." She smiled, then leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Cody." She started to walk. He grinned to himself, and walked with her out of the parking lot.

The black candle trys to flicker As she lights it She looks at her Her eyes shining depth I look at her Then to the one beside us It's time to do the spell We hold hands And close our eyes As we feed our power to the force We say the words Chant them out the open window Into the wind, they go Draining us to do our bidding The magick is alive The spell of protection Is upon us To cover us in hope Then he will leave us alone.

Haikus Written 12-10-02 ~*~*~*~*~ It's very true, you know That it's hard to love a friend I found out on my own. ~*~*~*~*~ I wrote a poem today To my first and truest love If only he could know ~*~*~*~*~ Haiku Story My home Kentucky Is the best I've ever known As a child and older. Warm in the summer and Cold as ice in the wintertime Beautiful no less. I hope to grow old Children running around in our yard Living the best they know. Kentucky, my home Is the best I've ever known I will never leave...completely. ~*~*~*~*~ Name Poems (for Tasha...me!) Tenderness she has Although her heart is breaking Silent are her fears Heartfelt through her tears Amongst her young years (for Stacy...my best friend.) Sorry is never enough Though she takes mine Amazing friend, make-believe sister Caring and wise Young as she will always be (for James...my exboyfriend.) Just a poem about a boy Angel amongst the mortal world My dreams and prayers are answered Everyone can know; how I care for the boy Sweet as sweet can be

I am Nothing April 10, 2003 I am not true My beliefs suffer because of my pain My shallowness I can not say the words To tell my mom I'm in love But it's with a girl I can not say I don't like it How the government is How I don't support their ways I can not say I am a witch I believe in the Goddess And I am not God's child I can not tell them I cut myself Or try to kill myself My pain is too great They don't know about how I cry at night Thinking no one understands me Because no one really does No one knows who I really am I hide it behind a young girl's face I am a spirit without meaning I am nothing.

It is just a phase, or is it really going on This depression on my suicidual self It's killing me, crushing me down I can't breathe, I wish I could fall asleep So I will never wake again No one wants me No one even fucking cares Why don't they? I don't know. I love some things I love Rachael, she's my moon in the sky at night I love Jonathan, he keeps the darkness from my eyes I love my brother, sometimes at least I love it at night, sitting outside, watching the stars I love music like Good Charlotte, and Avril Lavigne I love the way they make me feel I love it when they touch me I hate the cruel world I hate the way my first love makes me feel I hate how I push everyone away I hate the scars I placed on my arms I hate how I can't stop doing it I hate how I care for James, but don't love him I hate when I'm wrong, I'm never right I hate this feeling deep inside What can I do? How do I do it? Why? When? Where? I'm nothing. I feel it. I hate it.

Illusion March 11, 2003 I'm not real I look in the mirror I'm not there Look into my eyes And you will see The darkness No wonder left inside Illusion Not a dream A nightmare Pain is all I see My tears fall And they don't care No wonder I'm so blind. no one March 11, 2003 no one knows the true me because no one knows my pain i can't trust anymore because i was hurt before...more than once i don't want to feel anymore i don't want to breathe, literally let death come because no one cares.

Letter you will never see (#2) Dear One I Love, Like the other letter This one will be unanswered For it will never be seen But what I had to say I can not say face to face You used me But I still loved you We quit talking And I got a new guy I care for him But when I heard your voice Over the phone when you called My heart stopped And I realized...I'm still in love with you Every day my heart grows heavier So much has happened But I can't go back to you You treated me wrong And although I still love you As this letter must go So must our chance

I gave you everything It cost me my heart My body feels unholy My mind unsure Confusion rules over I broke someone else's heart Just to be with you You turned around and used me I gave you everything You took it without a thank-you They say it's better To have loved and lost But they haven't felt my pain.

If I say I love him I have a feeling it would spoil I don't know if I mean it But I know what love is I've been in love before It ended, but I still feel for But maybe I'm wrong I didn't put a name Because there are two I love them both Is it wrong? I don't care It's my life My heart will tell me what to do

my poem ~feb. 23, 2003 I can't feel; I can't breathe My throat shuts off The pain is numbed by the fact I want to die My lungs burn as the water comes in The slits on my wrists bleed As the water turns a dark red My eyes are open and stare at nothing I wait for him, the angel of death To take me to hell, at least it's better then this.

Pain March 11, 2003 Like a tyrant it takes over in my body and my soul breathe not the cold air fuck the world I do not care I can't feel anything but this... pleasureless excruitating decietful lies It haunts my very being my mask that everyone sees is shattering I'm not a person I am only this bottled up pain And I'm about to burst. Shattered Innocence March 11, 2003 I'm only 15 years old And I have no where to go Lost, confused I didn't just lose my innocence It was crushed And swept infront of me Teasing... But I still couldn't reach it My chest closes up And I cry It doesn't help. But I have nothing esle to do The writing's on the wall Blood has now been shed I am but a child This is my last day.

Peace March 11, 2003 When the night falls upon your face and you are not awake I come in your room, and watch you sleep you do not hear me you do not see my face I can't let you I can't have you Leave in silent peace. Graves Feb. 20, 2003 Alone. You don't know the true feeling of the word Until you walk in my shoes But you won't. You're too damn lazy to care People have lost their souls in this day and age Only a few are okay They are the ones who live life to the fullest Help others in this hopeless world. We are digging our very own graves And I am no exception.

A string of love around us Woven with care We pulled; It strained One by one the threads broke Until a single tear wrapped around us Then with a pause you cut us in two The final cut was deep I fell hard, but you You rose above without me to hold you down You had tied yourself around another I was left to wither away I can't live up to what you want from me So I'm not going to try You can't take me as I am So I guess love just ain't enough

If you want me, tell me I can understand if you don't I don't want me either If you want love, I'm here I can understand how it is without love Trust me, I've been there only too many times If you want to kiss me, just go for it I won't pull away I've been waiting long for this If you want to stay, you can But only if it's forever It's love me now or love me never If you hate me, I will cry But I understand I don't want me either. ------ What's wrong with me? That everyone *but* me sees... Why can't I find love? I'm left here to bleed. My destiny is to be alone. This is what it seems. Why did he leave me? And hurt me all the way through. Why do I feel this pain? And he feels nothing. He shows nothing. *I am nothing*. I hate to be alone sometimes. But sometimes it's a blessing. But forever? I just can't live with that. I've cut my wrists because of pain I've tried to kill myself because of pain, but it's never worked. And now my pain runs deeper. *What am I to do?* Why do I hurt the ones I love dearest? I scream at my family, and they scream back. *I cry*. I hurt my friends, and guys that have loved me, or at least said they did. Why don't I have the trust? Why don't I have the ability to breathe? How can they break each other's hearts so shamelessly? Why does my conscience speak so harsh? The devil on my shoulders is gone. There are two angels on the other. They whisper, don't hurt others, even if it hurts me. I can't take this life. The weight is crushing my shoulders. No one cares if I'm gone. *Why bother*? No one loves me. No one ever will. I get close to someone, then push them away. Why? My unanswered questions fill my head until I reach my grave. ------ I cut myself The blood flows loosely No pain is felt My troubles wash away As the cold water Touches the wound You can taste my blood Because you caused it's fall I cut myself With a knife sharp As the hell you brought me to Clearly I see The darkness taking over me The blood so cold, dark red It's not over; you will see. ------ If I say I love him I have a feeling it would spoil I don't know if I mean it But I know what love is I've been in love before It ended, but I still feel for But maybe I'm wrong I didn't put a name Because there are two I love them both Is it wrong? I don't care It's my life My heart will tell me what to do ----- Haikus Written 12-10-02 ~*~*~*~*~ It's very true, you know That it's hard to love a friend I found out on my own. ~*~*~*~*~ I wrote a poem today To my first and truest love If only he could know ~*~*~*~*~ Haiku Story My home Kentucky Is the best I've ever known As a child and older. Warm in the summer and Cold as ice in the wintertime Beautiful no less. I hope to grow old Children running around in our yard Living the best they know. Kentucky, my home Is the best I've ever known I will never leave...completely. ~*~*~*~*~ Name Poems (for Tasha...me!) Tenderness she has Although her heart is breaking Silent are her fears Heartfelt through her tears Amongst her young years (for Stacy...my best friend.) Sorry is never enough Though she takes mine Amazing friend, make-believe sister Caring and wise Young as she will always be (for James...my boyfriend.) Just a poem about a boy Angel amongst the mortal world My dreams and prayers are answered Everyone can know; how I care for the boy Sweet as sweet can be (for Trevor..my ex, but I still love him) Totally in love with him Really can't help it Everyday he is there Very close to me Oh, if only I could fix things Real love is what I feel for him ---- Dear One I Love, Like the other letter This one will be unanswered For it will never be seen But what I had to say I can not say face to face You used me But I still loved you We quit talking And I got a new guy I care for him But when I heard your voice Over the phone when you called My heart stopped And I realized...I'm still in love with you Every day my heart grows heavier So much has happened But I can't go back to you You treated me wrong And although I still love you As this letter must go So must our chance --- If we are meant to be I wish I could stop feeling this pain in me If I were to lose you this very day I suppose I'd move on But my love for you would stay Until the day I die I know this is true In the end The sky is still blue --- My boyfriend is great Sweet and caring My friend for sure He makes me laugh And I love him for that But I don't know if I love him Anything more than a friend What am I to do? I'm giving him a chance I don't want to hurt him But do I love him Or only as a friend? --- If I had the chance right now, To swallow a bottle of aspirin, I would. If I didn't feel the pain, I would cut myself anf bleed, Until my body dies away, I'm crying, no one cares, And my heart is going to explode. My body hurts. My mind hurts. My heart hurts. Life is deadly, Now I will cause my own death... And finally be in control of my life. --- Picture of Inspiration: http://ew2.lysator.liu.se/loth/a/n/andresia/unwanted.jpg Forgotten is she It's hard to be unwanted In these eyes you know (Senyru) --- The fire burns Crackling Soothing Burning the cold away My eyes turn red As I stare The orange glow lights My pale skin All I ask of it Is the fire The giving fire To light my cold soul --- I am a girl With feelings I can't hide I cry myself to sleep Because of a world afraid them For I am wrong As they say Because I happen to love The same sex I don't feel it's wrong So why should I care? But I do. --- The problem with the world Is the people in it We all cry for help But our pleas are unanswered Heros are no more We find our own escape Suicide, and Homicide Blood and chaos, too The problem with the world Is the people in it We all cry for help But we don't fucking care --- My heart is stone cold Ice into my veins I breathe the spirit of the dead Immortal is my soul And I shall never know The warm of love's touch I will never die That is how I know Too high a mountian Too deep a ocean For anyone to get close This is my rambling of my lonely soul --- This is a story Of a child and place A little girl named Julie With her momma's face Julie is alone Without her parents by her side An ill-fated crash And her daddy said goodbye Her momma took her away from there And that is where she stayed Until the day her momma died Laying in a hamock by the bay Sixteen years old With nowhere to go She ran far as she could For a family, she searched high and low Then one day When the angel looked upon her And granted her the wish A boy from nowhere also They were soon married With a child on the way Living in a house Warming, and cozy again by the bay This story has theme Touching as can be There is always hope I hope that you will see ---She's on the edge Ready to jump The edge is getting thinner The world's breathing down her neck Life's too hard She can't take it anymore She has no friends Her family left her behind Here's where the bus stops You gotta get off End of the line No where to go Hope's been used up No more for this girl If she's too young to be taken Why don't you stop her now? She wants to fly She can't do that there She looks down Blue, blue eyes She takes a breath Closes her eyes Moves a little forward Before she falls She hears a call She stops where she is Through her eyes You can see A little girl now free She takes a step back Turns around And gets on with her life. --- Excuse my leaving, but I have to go My head is pounding I feel my body get weak Oh, a craving comes Beware I smell your blood Flowing through your viens I see your uncovered neck Calling me I hear the sound A midnight full-moon growl Your skin is soft I feel as I move past you It's takes all my strength to move away They would surely try to kill me If I had my way Into the chilling darkness I become shadow As I welcome the night When it is time to feed I seek my protection Immortal in my world Whispering and tempting I have the craving of the dead Blood, it shall be mine --- I am Eve as I taste the forbidden fruit But after my taste of evil I feel the sin of my ways. I see myself as naked Vunerable to the darkness I am weak and am tempted I acted on my lust Dearly I paid For my foolishness I am Eve Banished from the righteous garden of Eden. --- I trusted him completely Kissed him with love His strong, lean body warmed me As he lay me on his bed His tounge stroking mine He caresses my body As I moan my pleasure As he takes me with long, sweet strokes He says he loves me Even now as I look back On this one moment When I knew joy I don't regret it Even though I cry Because I was used But to him, now I say goodbye. --- A Moment's Truce ~ Standing Still On a stream of hope One side holds my father Another holds myself A moment's truce No more yelling No more fighting But how long will it last? --- He's been absent Almost everyday since I was born I see him maybe Just once a week I should be happy But I'm not He yells at me Calls me fat Selfish, stupid And a million other things He hits me when He thinks I'm doing wrong I try to make him proud And love me like a daughter But he never listens He doesn't even care Hate may be a strong word But it's good enough for me. --- Is it wrong to love a girl When I am but a girl myself Is it wrong to have these feelings But it feels so right People tell me it's wrong To love the same sex I do like guys But I like girls, too I like her lips Want her to reach close Her heat drawn to mine A tender kiss between us Is it wrong? That's the question. But I don't think I need an answer I know the truth. --- I am an Artist I draw what I see The beauty everywhere Even deep inside of me With a stroke of my pencil Art comes alive I am an Artist I paint what I see Even in my creative mind Using every color With a stroke of my brush Art comes alive I am an Artist I make what I see Animals to Goddesses With clay, marble Even stone My stautes come alive. I am an Artist. Period. --- Pretty blue eyes Long black lashes on the face that melts your heart, so sweet A 5-year old's face of wonder and laughing Smiling always It holds you in awe Short blond brown hair A perfect little nose Mouth that says what it feels a face of innocence and beauty, of my David. --- One more push And I could fall Spread my arms and soar To an end you would not ignore If I choose I could jump Allow the angel of death my poor soul But then no one would know Where my heart lies How I dream of something better I don't believe in God So who will help me now The edge is calling I need help I send out this message For the ground --- This poem is to my best friend, Stacy. Love you, my make-believe Sis! ~Tasha Seven years old But old enough to know Becoming friends with caution We played in the backyard Walked down an old path Memories surround us You're more than a friend, though Like a sister in my heart We discovered boys We discovered high school Together, we will never part Now as we grow older Grayer we become I only hope Forever you will be There for me, as I am for you --- Dear One I Love, If only you could know What is in my heart Burning in my soul This letter is for you But you will never see it Never know how much You really mean to me Every time I see you I feel I want to cry You are my friend Yet that hurts deep inside You don't want to be more I know this, too That's why this little letter Is like my heart..crushed. --- Vunerable Is how you left me Naked beneath your glaze Heartbroken You take avantage You take my innocence Vunerable Is how you like me I can tell from your face Darkness You leave me with You made me vunerable --- I gave you everything It cost me my heart My body feels unholy My mind unsure Confusion rules over I broke someone else's heart Just to be with you You turned around and used me I gave you everything You took it without a thank-you They say it's better To have loved and lost But they haven't felt my pain

Save Me Save me from myself I am too weak My body aches My soul is dying I cut my wrist To see my blood fall To put me in control Everything is out of hand One day it will go so far And I will get the pistol From under the dash of my car Drive away, to an silent, country place Pull the trigger and fly away. Save me before it's too late.

Life's gonna get better Can't get any worst Than it already is Just gonna move on Every day is new Feel like I'm gonna burst Walking Down the street People passing me No one sees The true inside of me Can you see? I wanna be Seen Life's gonna get better Can't get any worst Than it is right now Just gonna move on Every day is new Feel like I'm gonna burst I wanna be Seen By you By all of you I believe I'm special And I want you to know I'm gonna show You The true me I'm gonna be seen Life's gonna get better Can't get any worst Than it is Just gonna move on Every day is new Feel like I'm gonna burst I'm gonna show you the true me I'm gonna be Seen...

Valentine's Day Poem Written: 02/02/03 Trevor, In the cold, heartless world, You are my only hope. You bring sunlight back into my face, I wish I could give you something in return. You have my heart, Trevor, And you always will. I'm writing this for you, To tell you how I feel. I love it when you touch me, And bring me close to you. I love your smell, And the way you taste. I would give my life to you, For you to live even just one more day. I try to be perfect for you, The way you want me to be. I hope you love me, As much as I love you. Forever in your arms, Nothing esle will do. With all my heart,

In this diary I write of my past, my present, and since my future seems dark, that probably won't be here. Thomas, that's the doctor who watches over us on the second floor of this place, told me writing frees the spirit, amd opens yourself to get better and learn more about yourself. I don't know if I want to learn more, or just sit here alone in my room, my mind blank, all the time. I don't seem like an interesting person. I am seen by the people here as Kain, the poor sick child without a mind of her own. I don't talk to anyone, not Thomas, and only sometimes to Paul, who is my best friend. He is one the second floor, too, and he's the only one I completely trust. But I haven't said many words to him, and yet, he still is with me, talking to me like I'm a normal person. Paul was sent here after he set fire to his house and killed his family by locking them in. He said the voices made him, and they made him do so many weird things that the police made him take tests to make sure he was okay to stand trial. He wasn't. So they sent him here. The second floor is for crimnally insane, and suiciduals. We are the ones they watch closely. I myself was sent here because I had killed my mom, after the years of her making my life miserable, and making me think I was sick when I really wasn't. Then I swear my twin brother Adrian came and lead me to the lake, and I followed him in, and didn't even feel the pain as the water filled my lungs. This morning is like every other, and I sit in the common room after breakfast. It's a pretty good size room with a few chairs, two tables, some games, and a T.V., but I love the window. It's wide, and is jutted out, so you feel like you are in the air, as you sit on the sill. The sill is wide enough for me to sit comfortably on. There's a guard to my left, and two at the doorways, and a few workers around the people in the room. It's quiet this morning. Paul comes in, and pulls a chair up to the window sill and he grins at me. He really is beautiful, with his shaggy brown hair to his ears, and piercing blue eyes. He has high cheekbones, and the hair on his face is shaved to where it outlines the curve of his face. "How you doing, Kain?" He asked, then doesn't wait for an answer. He knows he won't get one. "The breakfast this morning was awful. Sorry I couldn't meet you down there, you know I had my doctor's meeting this morning. They just asked me a bunch of retarded questions." He rolled his eyes, and smiled at me once more. I got a hint of a smile on my face. "Do you want to go outside for a walk? Dr. Perkins said we would be fine to go walking, even by oursleves. We just got to go to Mrs. Rosenburg at the front office to get permission and everything." He held his hand out for me. I took it and got down off the sill. He didn't let go after I had gotten down, just started going to the front office. I felt a little twinge of pleasure but forced it down and walked with him. When we got to the office door, he let go to hold the door open for me

When I call / you always gotta go / you don't talk to me / you don't touch me / anymore / where are you / when I need you / you're pushing me away / where are you I feel / you pushing away from my love / please tell me why / baby, you ain't here tonight / you're pushing me away Talk to me / you were so there for me / then that first time / when we made love / I feel / everything has changed I feel / you pushing me away from your love / please tell me why / baby, you ain't here tonight / you're pushing me away I feel / you pushing me away from your love / please tell me why / baby, you ain't here tonight / you're pushing me away People telling me / you can't hold on / to one girl very long / I don't wanna believe them / But it's starting to seem / true, you're pushing me away Why do we have the distant? / spreading us apart / where's your love? / when I've shown you mine I feel / you pushing away from my love / please tell me why / baby, you ain't here tonight for me / you're pushing me away / you're pushing me away

Mark 36 -Abusive, drinks & smokes. -Black hair, Italian, green eyes, 6"3, 230lbs. -Hayden kills him because he was going to harm/rape Hannah. They hide Hayden. Angel 33 -Looked like an angel when she was born, beautiful now. -Pale blonde hair, Russian, hazel eyes, 5"3, 120lbs. -Drug overdose before Mark's death. Connor 17 -Druggie, smokes with Mark, but helps hide Hayden. -Takes Hayden's place, pretends he did it. -Black hair, green eyes, 6"4, 190lbs. Anthony 16 -Wants to go to college, and he's a jock. -Blach hair, green eyes, 6"2, 189lbs. Hayden 15 -Sensitive, a loner, shy -Kills Mark. Loves Hannah very much. -Black hair, hazel eyes, 5"9, 170lbs. Dian 14 -Mentally ill, but aware. Quiet. -Kills himself after Angel's death, and the night before Mark dies. -Black hair, green eyes, 5"9, 150lbs. Wesley 13 -Druggie, drinks, gets in fights. Gets a girl pregant. -Runs away after Hayden goes into hiding. -Black hair, green eyes, 5"8, 160lbs. Hannah 13 -Blonde hair, hazel eyes, 5"2, 110lbs. -Loves Hayden, hides with him. -Wesley's twin. Other: Incest __________________________________________________________________ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Scene: Hayden in hiding, after a few days, and Hannah is with him. They are sitting down in chairs, Hayden thinking, Hannah reading. Hannah put down her book, and walked over to Hayden and said down in his lap as she had done so often as a little girl. "It will be okay, Hayden. You won't go to jail." Hayden put his head on her shoulder, and closed his eyes, exhusted. "I know, but are you okay?" He looked at her, and she looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yeah, but I don't understand." "Don't understand what?" Hayden leaned back and put an arm around her back. "Why he wanted to touch me." She leaned against him and layed her blonde head on his collarbone. "Well, some guys just get so sick that they will do things they're not supposed to. And Mark always thought you were pretty so he just picked you." "Am I pretty? Boys at school don't think so." "Yeah, you're gorgeous. Boys will grow up and see how beautiful you are." "I'm kinda scared." Hannah pulled her legs up. "Why?" Hayden looked at her face, again. "What if a boy wants to do things with me? I don't know much." "It's easy. You would probably be a natural. Why do you want to know about boys and all?" "Well, Mark kinda of made me feel...different, ya know? But I don't like Mark, so I was thinking of someone esle that made me feel like that. Like he was touching me instead of Mark." "It's normal to think of boys. Just don't get in a hurry to grow up and be with one, okay?" "Okay, thanks, Hayden." Hannah smiled, and looks at him. She leaned over and kissed Hayden on the lips, and smiled again. "No problem." Hayden smiled. Hannah's smile faded a second. "What's wrong?" "I want to do something, but I don't want you to think I'm sick or anything." "What is it?" Hayden asked, confused. "Well..." Then Hannah kissed Hayden again, but it wasn't a sisterly kiss. She pressed hard against his mouth and put her tounge in his mouth. Hayden was shocked, and couldn't move. Besides that he had once kissed like this once before, now it was Hannah, his little sister, kissing him! But it felt good even so. After a second, Hayden was kissing back. "Mum.." Hannah moaned, and she moved a little were she was sitting on his lap, facing him. Her hands were on his neck, keeping him close. Hayden's hands were on Hannah's back, slightly under her tank top. Her left hand traveled down his neck, and his stomach. It stopped a few inches from his pants. She broke the kiss. "Hayden, can I?" She whispered, as if not wanting to break the mood. Hayden couldn't say anything. In response, he took her hand and put it on his crotch. He could feel heat in his cheeks. Then he kissed her again, and started to kiss her neck. Hannah moaned a little as he sucked her soft neck, and her hand unbuttoned his pants. Her small hand slipped in his jeans to his boxers.

Almost Gone (C) Raven Black 02/26/03 I listened to an audiobook of a novel called "Kisscut" on the night I accidently tried to kill myself. The novel was creepy, and I had to keep the light on. It was cold, and snowing outside, but I had the fan on because I get hot easily. The story was about a teen quarrel gone terribly wrong that resulted in a bigger problem. A ring of child pornography, and long-term abuse. There was incest uncovered, and suicide and more. There were many bad men and women, but in the end, the one woman was in the middle of it all got away. It made me think how cruel and uncaring people are. After I finished the tape, I took my dark blue nail polish off my bitten-down nails, the replaced it with black nail polish. It was around midnight. As I replaced the nail polish, I glanced at the scars on my left forearm. About eight of them, some faded, one or two still an angry red. I hadn't cut myself in weeks, for a while at least. I would self-injury myself to keep from actually commiting suicide, although I've attempted that before. But that was with pills, and didn't work, obviously. Tonight I couldn't sleep. For some reason, I just couldn't even close my eyes, even though my body was exhusted. I get tired so easily, and things that used to make me feel happy, or interested me, doesn't anymore. I know something's wrong with me, I just don't know what. I get sad for so long, and only have a few good days. I decided to take a bath. I guess I was trying to put more distance between me and the world, as if washing away reality. I put the hot water on, and set out my bath items. My shampoo, body wash, razor and all that was set on the edge of the tub. I got my towels, one for my body, one for my thick blonde hair, which I recently cut seven inches off to where it sits on my shoulders. I put the towels on the rack beside the tub. We didn't have a shower, so we use a tub. Our house is about 50 years old. The bathroom is small, just a closet, tub, sink, and toilet in a 9 by 9 foot room, about. It has tile on the bottom half of the walls. As far as wallpaper, there are stripes on two opposite sides, and a floral design on the other two. It's one of those wallpapers you despise at first, then slowly get used to it, and you can't imagine your bathroom without it. I undressed, and put a foot in the water. It was just right. Before I got in, I glanced at myself in the mirror. I think my face is kinda pretty, just a little too much fat. With a sigh of digust, I look away. I lay in the tub, and rest my head on the bottom. It's filling up, and right now, only reaches my ears. I sigh, the water relaxes me, like a thousand gentle hands rubbing me. My mind goes empty, as I close my eyes. I go to my own world, and I do not think. I don't feel. I don't breathe. It's amazing. Then I feel a dull pain in my chest. I open my eyes slowly and see through the water at the wallpaper. I realize the pain is the water going through my nose, in my throat, and lungs. But yet, I don't move. Even with the dull pain, I feel so free. I stare through the water for a few seconds. I smile slightly as I look on the floral wallpaper and think to myself how one orange flower looks like a smiling face, looking down on me. Then I think of my mom. My smile fades as I think of her finding me here, blue or white, whatever color you turn when you drown. I see her face in my mind. She worries enough from her up-coming surgery, and possibly losing her job. She don't need this, especially not now. I sit up, and as soon as my face hits the surface of the water, I feel the full-on of the pain. I can't breathe for real. I gasp for air, and purposefully make myself sick to get as much water out of my throat and lungs as I can. It takes about 10 minutes to catch my breath, and have it back to normal. I get out and towel off. I let the water out of the tub. I check the clock. It's 1 am. I still can't sleep, so I lay in bed, wondering what would have happened if I had let myself drown...

Artist Name: Jacks First CD: Be Yourself Bio: Full Name~ Jacqueline Michelle VenGonan Nicknames~ Jacks, Vini Age~ 19 Birthdate~ May 27, 1983 Sign~ Gemini Race~ Itailan Hair Color~ Dark (Black) Hair Length~ Cut below shoulders Hair Style~ Slighty curly Eye Color~ Hazel Birthmark(s)~ Strawberry blonde mark, shaped like a horseshoe on upper left thigh Body Style~ Slim, Fit Other Marks~ Scar, 3 inches long, back on right arm above elbow, Small freckles in sun, Dimples Martial Status~ Single Children~ None Parents~ Gwendlynn Michelle Le'Dain-VenGonan & Roberuto Carlos VenGonan, Sr. Age: 52, Job: Ballet Teacher & Former Prima Ballerina Age: 63, Senator (Italy) Siblings (Names, Ages, Jobs, Spouse, Children.)~ 1) Roberuto Carlos VenGonan, Jr. Age: 28, Job: Enterpeutor for President Spouse: Elisabeth Mary Montgomery-VenGonan (Artist) Children: Emily-Michelle Andre VenGonan, age 7 & Roberuto Carlos VenGonan, III, 6 2) Christopher Marcus VenGonan Age: 26, Job: Secertary of State for Italy Spouse: Caitlin Alyssa Young (Ballerina) Children: Tristan Lee VenGonan, 5; John Anthony VenGonan, 4 & Jacob Thomas VenGonan, 2 3) Geneviene Rumer VenGonan Age: 23, Job: Prima Ballerina Spouse: (Divorced to Michael Derek Knight.) Children: Bethan Natasha Knight, 2

Anti-Normal Author: Natasha Norfleet Character Sketch Name: Desiree Seraphina Mraz Nickname: Desy Age: 16 Birthday: May 27, 1987; Gemini Gender: Female Race: Half-Jamacian (father), Half-Irish (mother) Parents: Paci Mraz, 46, (from Jamacia, moved when 18) *died last year*, Ramona Harlem, 44, (from Ireland, moved when 11, from boarding school.) *depressed, unemployed* Parent's Jobs: Paci- was Mechanic, Ramona- Dance Teacher, lost job Siblings:(all boys) Kirean (17), Eli (16), Ryne (14), Deagen (11) Siblings' Jobs: Kirean- Cashier at Gas Station, Eli- 'LittleBlue' Resturant Waiter, Ryne- Mows yards, volunteers at animal shelter Siblings' Cars: Kirean- (dark red car) '85 Dodge Aries, Eli- '86 Toyota Pickup (dark blue truck) Pets: Dog-(Kirean's) black lab Ollie, Cats- orange tabby Monster. black and white cat Munchkin, Frogs- (Desy's) Lil ones named Reed, Ralpie, Roscoe, & Marilyn Location: Town- Parrott, GA Looks: Curly Black hair with red tips, cut short, just below shoulders. Gray eyes, usually wears eyeliner. Dresses gothic/punkish, Label: Goth/Punk Job: Babysitter; Four Kids: Connor (9), Lucie & Lacie (6), Gage (10 months) Car: '50 black Studebaker House: Two story, plus attic, light gray house, small yard, bad neighborhood Bedrooms: 3, plus attic, #1: Ramona, white walls, no pictures, just a bed, and desk. Very few clothes in closet, messy. First Floor. 1 bathroom. #attic: Eli & Desy, 1 bathroom, middle is tv and playstation, right is Eli's. Messy, lime green walls, girls in bikinis pictures, computer. Left is Desy's, black walls, red handprint border, band posters, candles, guitar and drums. Small mural by her and Kieran. Frogs. #2: Ryne & Deagen, blue walls, comics, anime posters, cats stay in here, bunk beds. Ryne on top, Deagen on bottom. #3: Kirean, two walls bright red, two dark blue, lots of artwork. A few murals on the walls. A desk. A bed. ~*~ Email address: punkishchick@yahoo.com Website: fadedphotograph.com What's on it: picture gallery, poetry, stories, website layouts/banners/help. IM's: punkrockmonster (AOL), benjiful (MSN), UknowURright (Yahoo) Neopets: curseofjezebel Fave Sites: Goth Auctions, Hot Topic, Vampire Freaks, Fuck the MainStream, Industrial Goth ~*~ Best Friend: Kryller, gothic, age 17. Car: black BMW 730I Friends: Margie, punk, age 15. Lori, colorful, age 16. Car: Black and Red VW Bug Enemies: Percy (abusive ex, still likes her), Kaitlyn (preppy, rude) Status: Single Orientation: Bi-sexual Ex's: Percy (last year), Rainn (from camp last year, not at this school), Meg (this year) ~*~ FAVES >>> Bands: Good Charlotte, Bowling for Soup, All-American Rejects, Sum 41, Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, Evanecesce, AFI, T.A.T.U. Songs: "Bloody Valentine" GC, "Last Song" AAR, "All the Things she Said" T.A.T.U. Music Type: Alternative, Punk, Rock Books: "Flowers in the Attic" & "Sweet Audrina" V.C. Andrews Authors: V.C. Andrews, Stephan King, Anne Rice Movies: The Ring, Welcome to the Dollhouse, But I'm a Cheerleader, The Slums of Beverly Hills, City of Lost Children, any independent film Actors: Natasha Lyonne, Josh Hartnett, Brendan Sexton, JR. Nascar: Dale Earnhardt, JR. #8 car. Food: Any kind of potatoes, Chinese Animal: Frogs, Penguins Colors: Black and Red Season: Winter ~*~ Causes: Gay Pride, Animal-Rights, Anti-War School: Parrott High School Grade: 11th Classes >>> A1: Art 3 & 4 A2: Special Topics. Lit. 1 & 2 A3: U.S. History A4: Cont. Young Adult Lit. B1: Photography B2: Creative Writing B3: Modern Lit. B4: English 3 (Adv.) People In Class >>> A1: Kryller, Meg A2: Lori, Kaitlyn A3: Eli, Kaitlyn, Meg A4: Kryller, Percy B1: Kryller, Lori B2: Kirean, Kryller B3: Margie, Lori, Meg B4: Eli, Margie Conflicts Grief about father, Money problems, Mom's depression, Lack of money, Problems with Brothers, Eli being in same room, Frog died, looking at animal shelter, Babysitting problems, car problems, Liking Kryller more, being bi-sexual, Margie or Lori liking Desy, Eli liking Kaitlyn or Meg, Dating, Problems with Percy or Kaitlyn, Riots, Marches, ETC.

Clearwater Crossing Series: The Forgotten~ Tanya & Reily Carlotta (Layne) Family Affair~ The Watery Family Leaving it behind~ Dustin & Jennifer Always~ Jamiez Family Changes in the Wind~ Alexander Family =========================== The Watery Family~ 1) All the kids...Tommy, Tyler, Amy, Matt, Maddie 2) Matt & Emma, Matt & Tripwire 3) Cheating on Emma with Trish 4) Todd cheating on Ava with Piper 5) Piper getting pregant 6) Other kids: Matt, Amy (married to Scott in another house near), twin boys: Tommy & Tyler 7) Mean aunt Nessa ========================== Convo: Jennifer- This is wonderful, just wonderful. We come here and you say you forgot the money. That's real smart. -sighs- Dustin- I didn't forget it, I left it. Jennifer- Sure. -sighs- Dustin- Fine, don't believe me. -sighs- Jennifer- Okay, okay. At least we're here. I give you that much credit. ======================================================= Info Jennifer Ann Hawkins Age:16 Siblings: Dustin(stepbrother), June(stepsister) Likes: Boys, Swimming, Dancing, Hanging out, Tacos Dislikes: June, Pizza, Singing Personality: Girlish, except for a huge stubborn streak that she believes always makes her get what she wants Boyfriend: No Picture: Coming Soon!! ==================== Dustin Allan Albii Age:17 Siblings: Jennifer(stepsister), June(sister) Likes: Girls, Hockey, Football, Basketball, Baseball, Golf, Soccer, Lacrosse, Water Polo, Pizza Dislikes: Dancing, Singing, Tacos Personality: All-American Athlete/Popular Guy, basically, all the girls at his old school loved him Girlfriend: No Picture: Coming Soon!! ========================= Their Story They came to CC because they wanted to be free of the stressfulness of life. Their parents were mean and June was even meaner. School was way too much work. Jennifer's best friend, Stephanie, suggested they come and visit. So one day, they just left. =========================================== The Jamiez Family Hannah-Maria Jamiez- 19 Tiarra Lynne Jamiez- 4, Hannah's daughter Raul Gonzalez- 20, Tiarra's father, wants her back Carlos Anthony Jamiez- 18, Hannah's younger brother ============================================ The Alexander Family Justin-21/Carly? Jarred-7, Justin's son Jacob-19/Melanie? Jason-23 -Uncle, Jeremy, died in fire.

Prologe: Introduce Emmielle Emmielle set her tray down, and in the process knocks a blue leather bag off a seat. "Em, girl, my bookbag!" Raquel groaned, accussingly. Em just grinned and said sorry. "Sorry, Raquel, you know what a klutz I am." "Sure, chica." Raquel smiled and chomped down on her hamburger. "Chicken Wing!" Cody yelled from across the crowded lunch room, using his unique greeting. He sat down beside Emmie. Before he started to eat, he tucked a strand of Emmie's dirty blonde hair behind her ear. Emmie smiled. Cody was so cute. Chapter 1: Emmielle and Cody get close. (Note: Cody's anger history.) Em asks him to stop, get into fight. Parents want to adopt a child, talk to Jeana and Carson. Jeana likes Parker. That afternoon, Cody and Emmielle come at the kitchen table, doing homework. "What did you get for number 4? I got 96." Cody asked, tapping his pencil against the table, as he always does. "96? I got Arabs." Emmie laughed. "I thought we were doing Alegbra." Cody said, still tapping. Mrs. Saunders come over from the stove where she was heating milk for baby Heather, another one of the children at the foster home and stopped his pencil, and smiled at him. "I thought we were doing World History!" "Oh well." Cody shrugged, and they both started laughing. "Well, I finished." "Me too." Cody put his book away on the desk in the living room. "Want to go listen to music upstairs?" "Sure." Cody replied, and followed Emmie up the stairs to her room. She opened the door, and walked in to the bright yellow room. It was pretty with yellow walls, covered in posters and pictures. There was a brightly colored orange desk, with a laptop sitting open on top of it. There was a walk-in closet of clothes, mainly like the dresser, filled with comforable clothes like sweat pants, yoga pants, tank tops, and more. Emmie was a comforable type of person. There was a full size bed with sheets and a comforter that had smiley faces all over it. Emmie went over to the stereo, and turned it on, slipping in a cd by Korn. It's a rock cd, with the yelling and big base line. Cody set on the bed, leaning back against the headboard. He patted the space beside him, and Emmie set down. Cody put his arm around her. Emmie and Cody had been like this for a while. They both liked each other. They didn't say anything because it was against house rules to date inside the house.They had only kissed a few times. Right now, they were holding hands, with Cody's around still around Emmie. The door was closed, so Cody decided, and he looked at Emmie, and leaned his head down. She leaned up, and in the middle, their lips touched and they kissed. Cody touched the side of her face, as he kissed her. "Want to try something new?" He asked and smiled. "Like what?" She asked, biting her lip. "Like this.." He kissed her again, and as she was kissing back, he slipped his tounge into her mouth. She was surpised, and instinctly opened her mouth, and he took that as a clue to kiss. They french kissed, slowly moving until Cody was leaning over Emmie. Cody kissed her once more, and then looked at her. "You're amazing, Em. I don't know what I would do without you. I really like you." Cody said, looking at her, and he kissed her hand. "I really like you, too, Cody." Emmie replied, smiling. "I think..I..love you, Em." Cody had never said those words before, and Emmie's heart was pounding. She didn't know what to say back. "Don't worry about saying anything back. I don't want to push you." He said as if he was reading her head. He kissed her again. She kissed back, and his right hand moved from the bottom of her shirt, to under it. He traveled up her waist and cupped her breast, through her bra. Her heart was pumping out of her chest. He kissed her and it moved to a french kiss, his hand still under her shirt. Cody pushed back the bra cup, and touched her nipple. His hand was cold, and Emmie moaned at it. Cody kissed her neck, and down to her collarbone. He pulled her shirt up, and kissed the valley below her breast. His other hand went down to her stretch pants. His hand moved under the waistband, and touched her panties, before she pushed him away. He sit up quickly and looked hurt. Emmie fixed her bra, and pulled her shirt down. "What's wrong, baby?" He tried to kiss her again, but she moved back. "I'm just not ready to go that far, Cody." Emmie looked at him. "But I love you." He really looked hurt. "Still..." Cody was starting to get mad. He got up from the bed, and glared at her. "You're just a tease!" "Cody!" She was starting to get scared. Cody had an anger problem that he saw a theripist about. It had something to do with his dad beating him before Cody came here. "I can't believe this. I thought we had something." "We do!" "No.." Cody turned. "We don't." And he walked out the door, and slammed it shut. Emmie started to cry silently, then sobbed, the heavy rock music drowning her out. Chapter 2: Emmielle and the parents interview. Emmielle walked out of the classroom and into the hall. Mrs. Saunders was there, waiting for her. "Come along, Emmie, they are waiting." So, Emmie followed her out to the checkout, and outside. The school was a few mintues away from the foster home. Mrs. Saunders when to the curb, with Emmie behind her, and held her hand up. Most foster moms would be in a suit or something when an interview for adoptive parents come up, but not Mrs. Saunders. She wore a bright yellow sleeveless t-shirt that right now, was raising with her arm, so you could see her pierced bellybutton. She also had on blue jean cut-offs. She wasn't normal, but that's what everyone liked about her. She had an aura around her so pure and wonderful, it made you feel special every time you saw her, or talked to her. Probably why her husband Ryan, fell in love with her. A taxi stopped, and Mrs. Saunders leaned over the window, and smiled. The taxi driver was an man probably in his early 30's, with receding hair, and a big smile. Emmie could see him checking her out, but that was the game here. Want a taxi fast? Flaunt it. Emmie was getting better at it. She didn't really think she was very pretty. "So, where to, my chickadees?" He asked, grinning, and winks at Emmie, making her almost sick. "114 Ivy Palace. It's the old Fellowship building." Mrs. Saunders replied. "The kids' home? Ok, hop in." He opened the passenger door, but Mrs. Saunders waved it off, and set in the back with Emmie. After a minute or so of riding, and the taxi driver's questions and talking, who we found out was named Rob, single (we got the hint), and just doing this job, so he could be a famous man one day, being a football player, Mrs. Saunders turned to Emmie. "You will love them, I know it, hun!" She smiled. "But Mrs. Saunders--" Emmie was cut off. "Mona. You can call me that, Em." "I know, Mona." Emmie looked out the window, not looking at anything special. "It's just..no one's been interested in adopting me ever. What if this is my last chance, my only chance, and I screw it up?" "You're not!" Mona smiled and put her arm around Emmie. "They've already seen you, They like you." "Really?" "Yes." "Tell me about them." "Well..." Mona smiled again. "Their names are Bryon and Keslynn Medford. He's a lawyer, or well, in law school, and she's a secretary for the courthouse. They have two kids: Carson, he's 17, and Jeana, who's 13. They're incredly sweet. You sure you want to meet them, I'm not trying to force you." Emmie sighed. "Yes, I want to meet them." The interview was in the living room of the foster home. Emma walked in with Mona. Ryan was alreadly there, watching the two kids that stayed home. Heather was only a baby, not even 4 months old yet. Christian was a 2 year old boy, a little troublemaker. A man and woman were sitting on the couch, looking uncomforable. The man, in his early 40's, with brown hair and a mustache, and shockingly blue eyes. He was cut lean and strong. The woman, probably around 36, 37, was beside him wearing a flowerly dress, and looking very motherly. She had a nice smile. She was playing with baby Heather. Mona took Christian out of Ryan's lap, and set beside him, rocking Christian. Mona smiled at Emmie. "Em, this is Mr. and Mrs. Medford. Bryon, Keslynn, this is our angel, Emmielle." She looked fondly at Emmie. "Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Medford." Emmie said kindly, and took a seat in the over-sized green chair. "Such a nice girl." Bryon replied to Mona and Ryan.They glowed. Chapter 3: Emmie and Cody make up. The parents decide, tell the kids. Emmie finds out and tells Cody. Chapter 4: Emmie meets the family, go to live, types email to Cody from house. Jeana being snobby. Parker comes over to meet Emmie, asks them to go swimming. Chapter 5: The three go swimming. Parker kisses Emmie at night when they come home. "Are you two going to be ready soon?" Parker yelled from downstairs. "Girls." He mumbled. "Coming, cutie!" Jeana yelled back and glared at Emmie. "Don't even think of trying to take my man. Parker is mine, he just hasn't offically said anything yet. But I know he wants me. You know what you would be getting if you even tried." Emmie thought Jeana looked so silly standing there, with her hot pink string biniki on, her hands on her hips, trying to look like trouble. So, Emmie didn't say anything. Just took a quick look at her dark blue tankini, and quickly brushing out her dirty-blonde hair. "And for another thing, I know about you city girls. You love all the guys, and sleep with them for nothing. You might be popluar around guys here, but you are not getting my baby, Parker. And by the way my parents, sooner or later, they are going to see how Carson looks at you. I bet you've been giving him some." With that, she turned sharply, flipping her head at Emmie, and marching out the door, leaving Emmie with her mouth open. Outside, Parker was waiting, leaning on the side of his red 52 Ford Pickup truck, wearing a black pair of swim trunks and a towel around his neck. Emmie shallowed hard. Parker looked so good without his shirt. Not quite a full 6-pack, but he was built. Probably from working with his dad, fishing and shipping lobsters and crabs. Parker smiles at Emmie. He gets in the driver's side, and nods for them to get in. Jeana pushes by Emmie and sits in the middle. She rubs her leg against Parker for a second, smiling at him. He pretends not to notice, and starts the truck. Emmie climbs in and leans her arm against the door. Chapter 6: Next day, Jeana mad at Em. Carson hits on Em. Em refuses and starts to go with Parker more. Likes him more now. Chapter 7: Cody comes to visit. Relizaes Em likes Parker. Gets mad and hits her. Parker beats him up. Family agures she's trouble. Chapter 8: Parker is mad at Em cuz of Cody. Tension with Carson. Jeana steals the car and (Note: beer & smoking) crashes it. Then blames it on Em. Gets her in more trouble. Chapter 9: Em runs away. Family is sad, looking for her. Em is in a drive-by shooting. Goes back home. Chapter 10: Everyone happy to see her. She talks to Cody. Cody has another g/f, family. Parker reliazes how much he likes/loves her, and goes back to her. Jeana says sorry. They all get along. Epilouge: Em and them at christmas the same year. Parents said they are going to have another baby. Carson has a girlfriend. Jeana is nicer. Em and Parker are together. Parker wants to be with her for the rest of his life, she agrees. Kiss under the mistletoe for good luck at end. Character Sketches Emmielle Marie Montgomery - "Emmie" or "Em" Age: 15, Looks: 5"5, 130lbs., dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, thin, musclar body tone, birthmark of star on her upper right thigh. History: Adopted by family in Maine, trys to fit in, new silblings don't like her/don't care. Likes a guy in town (Parker). ----- Parker Anthony Jamiez - "Parks" Age: 16, Looks: 5"11, 176lbs., dark, almost black hair, hazel eyes, lean, strong body type, no birthmarks, scar from coral reef; kinda new on his left shoulder. ----- Cody Thomas Young Age: 15, Looks: 6"0, 170lbs., blond hair, blue eyes, tall, lanky body type, no birthmarks. Emmie's boyfriend at the foster home. ----- Carson Lee Medford Age: 17, brother=don't care Looks: 5"9, 169lbs., short brown hair, green eyes, short, average build. Glasses, small mustache. ----- Jeana Jo Medford Age: 13, sister=out to get her Looks: 5"6, 100lbs., long, curly brown hair, green eyes, pelite build. Pretty, & popular.

One: Emmy- Anti-social/Depression, Bad Home Two: Blue- Cutter, Bad Home Three: Gracie- Eating disorders Four: Tommy- Five: Ethan- Six: Marie- Saw her mother murdered by her father. Doesn't talk really.

In The Midst of Buttercups (Prologe) When I was a little girl, I can remember the buttercups the most. I was around four years old, and it was year my father died. We lived on a thirty-acre farm with my parents. We were very well-raised, but sheltered. We were home-schooled, and never played with any other kids. It was just me, my twin brother, and a brother five years older than us. The nearest neighbors was about a dozen miles away, and we never went to town except for church. That was left to father and our mother. We were to be extremely clean and soft-spoken. Our mother was a deeply religious woman, who thought girls had to wear long dresses with long sleeves all the time, even in the summer around the house. The boys were to wear pants or overalls, and a long sleeve shirt. Even my father had to when he harvested the tobacco, and other plants we had cultivated on our land. We grew corn, tomatoes, peas, beans, and herded sheep. We had a goat, also, and a dog. Our mother rarely allowed us to play; we had many chores and schoolwork from her to do. Our father, on the other hand, was a free spirit. He allowed us to play in the fields, and by the creek. He let us go swimming in our underwear if we didn't tell our mother. He relied more on instinct, and nature than on God. He let us be free, even if it was only for a few hours. I remember the day it happened. My twin brother, Joseph, and I were wading in the creek, as my mother had gone to town all day to visit her sister, our Aunt Beth, a woman as stern as her. My father had let us take a day off of our chores, so we could play like all children should. Joseph, and our older brother, Adam, took their shirts and shoes off, and climbed an old maple tree, and jumped out into the crisp blue-green water. I watched them, smiling, then undressed to my slip. I waded in the cool water, and swam on my stomach, until Joseph grabbed me from behind and flung me headfirst into the water. I came up a second later, giggling, and went after him. We enjoyed ourselves, and when we were tired out, we laid in the bluegrass, just looking at the clouds. Joseph loved to find pictures in the clouds. "Rebecca, it's a fish, like the one in the book mother showed us." Joseph said, pointing to a random cloud. "Yes, it is!" I repiled, even though I did not see it. I felt like a stranger even then. "Shit!" Adam suddenly jumped up. Joseph and I look startled. We had heard that was a bad word from our mother. Adam used to sneak to play with other boys and girls from the town, and we guessed they used it, so he picked it up. "Come on, Joe, Becca, we got to go. Hear Mother's wagon?" And we listened, and heard it come up the road though the woods. We hurridly got dressed, and ran home. By the time Mother got home, I was at the sink doing the morning's dishes, Adam was chopping wood with Father stacking it, and Joseph was getting the sheep back in the pen with the help of Wolf, our large gray dog. "Adam, come to the family room. Rebecca Anne, don't forget to rinse. Joseph, help your father." Adam put the ax down, and followed Mother into the room next to the kitchen. I will never forget the pained look on my father's face. As I lay in bed that night, I think of that moment. I still hear the sounds of Adam screaming as Mother beat him with her wooden rod. I still think of my father as he stood there, doing nothing, and the tears filling his eyes. And Joseph, petting Wolf, pretending he didn't hear anything. Mother had found out Adam had been sneaking off to see the other town kids. She was angrier because she found out he had been friends with a girl. A girl who was the daughter of a woman who said Mother was crazy for keeping her kids locked up, and of Mother's preachings to the people of the town, who she taught was doing sin. That's the first night I realized my Mother was a snake, who fed on having her own way with things. I remember that. Adam silently crying beside me in the bed, the buttercups in the drawer, because my mother wouldn't let me show them out, and I remember it because my father got up in the middle of the night. The next morning we found him, in the barn, with a rope around his neck. Chapter One "Sin of the Innocent" Mother acted like it didn't shock her that Father had done that to himself. She put on a sad face for the townspeople, then at home, she had her way. More chores for us all, and we had to do her every wish. We prayed, and had bible study everyday, sometimes more then once. We were never allowed to play, or swim in the creek. The next night she 'caught us in a sin'. Joseph had always slept in the family room, under the stairs in the little closet. He loved it there because he said it made him feel like a cat, curled in a soft blanket. Mother and Father had slept, in seperate beds, in a room off the family room. In the loft at the top of the stairs, Adam and I slept. That night we had been nearly asleep, Adam's arm around me, like he was trying to protect me from the world. Then we heard Mother's scream. "You nasty little boy! What do you think you're doing?" She grabbed Adam by his arm, and pulled him from the bed. "Mother..." He yelled, the pain growing in his arm. "You are a sinner, taking advantage of your little sister!" She half-dragged him down the stairs. "We didn't do anything!" "Liar!" She screamed in his face, and pulled him across the floor and to the closet in the kitchen. It was empty, and that was Mother's 'private church'. She locked him in. "Pray for forgiveness, you rotten boy! Only hope you don't burn eternally in hell!" Adam's sobs vaguely interwined with his prayers. She turned, and Joseph, who was looking out the door of his little closet room, turned and closed the door, shutting her out. Not like she cared; she turned to me. She slowly made her way up the stairs to me, never stopping eye contact with me. Her brown eyes bore into my blue ones, which I had inherited from my father. "You.." She pointed a finger at me. "You should have stopped him. You are a sinner, too." "Mother, he did nothing! We're innocent." I begged, crawling back in the corner of the bed, against the wall. "The devil has you by the soul, girl. You must be punished." She grabbed me by my hair, and proceeded to hit me, and claw me for the next few mintues. Finally, she just said "Pray," and laying there, my face and arms bleeding from many scratches, I prayed, thinking, and knowing, our lives would never be normal. The next morning, Father Knowle, the preacher came up to our house. "Father, good morning!" Mother said, smiling, just coming out the door of the kitchen, to greet him. "How are you?" "Just fine. And you? I hope you are okay after your unforunate loss." THe preacher came in as Mother held the door and motioned him in. "Sit." She picked up the bowl of apples she had been peeling off the table and unto the sink. "Yes, unforunate. But I really worry about the kids, they were so close to him." Adam smirked in the corner, where me, Joseph, and him were shelling beans, at the thought of her worrying and Mother gave him a look that silenced him. "Yes, well, I just wanted to come down and see if there was anything you needed." "Actually, yes. As you can imagine, it's hard to raise three young children without their father. Joseph, and Rebecca Anne turn 9 next week. I hate to do it now because of that but I've decided to send them away." Mother said, and Joseph dropped the bean bowl. "No, Mother!" He jumped up and ran to her and grabbed at her dress. "I wanna stay!" She pushed him gently, and finished. "Joseph! Sit down." He did as she said. Adam and I listened. "Now, as I was saying, I have made arrangements. My dear mother says she would care for Joseph, but that's all she wants. She's getting him tomorrow. Adam and Rebecca Anne will be sent to my sister Beth. She has a girl a year older than Adam. I could use somehow to send them soon to Riverside, in the next state." By this time, me and Adam were in shock. We didn't want to leave. Especially without Joseph. I felt the tears starting to run down my cheeks. I've never gone a day without Joseph. We were twins, and could read each other. We were the only ones who can comfort each other. "I see...well, I can send them on the train the day after tomorrow. What about you, Jane?" You could tell a certain tone in his voice when he said my mother's name. She blushed, even. "Well, I will stay here, probably move to town, and get on with my life." After that, Father Knowle left, but not before having dinner with us. When he was gone, Joseph, Adam and I were sitting by the fireplace, crying. "Children, stop!" Mother cried at us. "Why do we have to leave? Why did you split us apart!?" Adam yelled at her. "You should be happy! I know I am. I won't have to deal with you!" She screamed back at him, and Joseph crawled in a ball, sucking his thumb, and trying not to listen. I wrapped my arms around him, comforting him, or at least trying to. Mary Catherine ~Cousin 4, 4, 9

Username: ihavetohide Email: ufloatmyboat@iCHIK.com Signature: ~*This has been another random thought from Jade *~ ...beware, i bite... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Name: Jade Marie Age: 15 Status: Lesbian, and single Religion: Well, I grew up strictly christian, but I don't believe some of the teachings, so I don't really know about what I believe in when it's in terms of God. History: Ever since I was little, I never liked guys...I just thought girls were so pretty, but I was told it was wrong, so I started to date a guy named Bryan when I was about 13. We dated for a year and whenever we kissed, I didn't really feel nothing. Then I got a crush on his sister, Kate. Me and Kate became friends, and one day I just kissed her, and she kissed back. So, me and Bryan broke up, and he moved on to date someone esle, and I started dating Kate, but no one knew, except Bryan. best friend. Me and Kate dated until about a month ago, when my stepmom walked in on us kissing, and freaked. She told Kate's parents and Kate was moved to a different school, and my stepmom and my dad made my brothers watch me. They are strict Christians, and they said I got to quit so I don't go to hell. I don't care though, because it feels right. I dated another girl, Anna, for a while, but then her sister spread around we were dating, and people started to act mean to us, and we quit dating. See, I do to a Christian private school called Heritage Christian Academy. So basicly, I have to hide my feelings around everyone, hence my username. Looks: I have dark brown hair, curly and it's to my shoulders. I wear black contacts, and my eyebrow and both ears are pierced, but I have to take my eyebrow ring out when I go to school. I had sneaked out to get my eyebrow pierced and my parents freaked, lol...I'm about 5"4, and 115lbs. My style clothes is a variety. I like punk, and vintage. But we wear a uniform-kind outfit to school. Both outside school, I wear clothes that is just creative, and all. Likes: Music, Internet, Independent films, Writing, Reading Music: Good Charlotte, Simple Plan, Bowling for Soup, The Julianna Theory, Avril Lavigne, Vanessa Carlton, Saliva, Puddle of Mudd, The Streets, Linkin Park, Sum 41, Sahara Hotnights, The Donnas....and the list goes on.... Internet (Sites) All Poetry, Hilltown (Roleplaying) (I play: Serendipity & Gilby..yes, a guy. I have a thing for writing as or playing guys. Sometimes I feel like I want to be a guy.) Films: (My fave) But I'm a Cheerleader, Welcome to the Dollhouse, City of lost Children (in French w/ English subtitles), Slums of Beverly Hills, Empire Records...anything with Natasha Lyonne. My Writing I write novels (none finished yet), plays/sitcoms (2 finished), poetry (over 90 poems, just this year), short stories (lots finished), erotica stories (whether lesbian, or gay porn, sometimes written as a guy) and I try a lot of genres. Reading: My Fave Books Anything by V.C. Andrews, Stephen King, Dean Koontz, books on Religion: Paganism (I'm thinking of converting to it), Spiritual Feminism, etc., and Psychology, Literature (Modern and Contempory), Poetry, etc. Books: The Man in the Black Suit, Dreamcatcher, My Sweet Audrina, Dancing on the Edge Dislikes: My stepmom, my brothers' treatment of me, fish & a lot of other meats, rudeness, cockiness...um....? Other: My best friend was Bryan, but I'm not allowed to see Bryan or Kate. My only other real friend I have is Tobie. He goes to my school, and is secretly gay. So, right now, me and Tobie pretend to be dating, so it will get our parents off our backs. I can relate so much to him. All my other "friends" I had quit talking to me after it came out that I was dating Kate, and I didn't deny it.

Voices for the Voiceless.... (Peta.com:) MTV’s Road Rules Tortures Chicken for Ratings On Monday, August 4, 2003, MTV’s 11th episode of Road Rules 12: South Pacific featured a grisly and disturbing act of cruelty to animals. Cast members were participating in a “challenge” that required them to spend two nights and three days “roughing it” outdoors near a cabin stocked with food. If they resisted the temptation to enter the cabin for provisions, they would win the challenge. Drinking water and a live chicken in a cage were provided to the cast as props. Road Rules’ Web site states that on the second day of the challenge, one of the cast members named Chris “decides that he’s going to choke, er, kill the chicken … [to] provide the Roadies with some much-needed food and hopefully keep them alert and prevent them from getting irritable.” Despite the objections of one compassionate cast member who asked that the chicken be spared, two participants slaughtered the chicken. One held the frightened chicken down while the other used a knife-and then an axe-to behead the animal. Cast members then cooked and ate the chicken for dinner. Animal abuse is not entertainment and there is no justification for the exploitation and killing of an animal in the Reality TV ratings wars. The torture and killing of this chicken was unnecessary and gratuitous. PETA has issued a letter to MTV officials, urging them to ban all acts of cruelty from their network. (veganrecipes.com): 1. Protect Future Generations "We have not inherited the Earth from our fathers, we are borrowing it from our children"- Lester Brown The average child receives four times more exposure than an adult to at least eight widely used cancer-causing pesticides in food. The food choices you make now will impact your child's health in the future. Protect future generations-buy organic food. 2. Prevent Soil Erosion The Soil Conservation service estimated that more than 3 billion tons of topsoil are eroded from United States croplands each year. This means that it is being built up naturally. Soil is the foundation of the food chain in organic farming. But in some conventional farming the soil is used more as a medium for holding plants in a vertical position so they can be chemically fertilized. As a result, American farms are suffering from the worst soil erosion in history. Prevent soil erosion sbuy organic food. 3. Protect Water Quality Water makes up two-thirds of our body mass and covers three-fourths of the planet. Despite its importance, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) estimated pesticides ssome cancer causing-contaminate the ground water in 38 states. Polluting the primary source of drinking water for more than half the country's population. Protect water quality-buy organic food. 4. Save Energy American farms have changed drastically in the last three generations, from family-based small businesses dependent on human energy to large-scale factory farms highly dependent on fossil fuels. Modern farming uses more petroleum than any other single industry, consuming 12 percent of the county's total energy supply. More energy is now used to produce fertilizers than to till, cultivate and harvest all the crops in the Unites States. Organic farming is still mainly based on labor intensive practices such as weeding by hand and using green manures and crop covers rather than synthetic fertilizers to build up soil. Organic produce also tends to travel fewer miles from field to table. Save energy-buy organic food. 5. Keep Chemicals Off Your Plate Many pesticides approved for use by the EPA were registered long before extensive research linking these chemicals to cancer and other diseases had been established. Now the EPA considers that 60 percent of all herbicides. 90 percent of all fungicides and 30 percent of all insecticides are carcinogenic. A 1987 National Academy of Sciences report estimated that pesticides might cause an extra 1.4 million cancer cases among Americans over their lifetimes. The bottom line is that pesticides are poisons designed to kill living organisms and can also be harmful to humans. In addition to cancer, pesticides are implicated in birth defects, nerve damage and genetic mutations. Keep chemicals off your plate-buy organic food. 6. Protect Farm Worker Health A National Cancer Institute Study found that farmers exposed to herbicides had a six times greater risk than non-farmers of contracting cancer. In California, reported pesticide poisonings among farm workers have risen an average of 14 percent a year since 1973 and doubled between 1975 and 1985. Field workers suffer the highest risk of occupational illnesses in the state. Farm worker health is also a serious problem in developing nations, where pesticide use can be poorly regulated. An estimated 1 million people are poisoned annally by pesticides. Protect farm workerssbuy organic food. 7. Help Small Farmers Although more and more large farms are making the conversion to organic practices, most organic farms are small independently owned and operated family farms of less than 100 acres. It is estimated that the Unites States has lost more 650,000 family farms in the past decade. And with the U.S. Department of Agriculture predicting that half the country's farm protection will come from 1 percent of farms by the year 2000, organic farming could be one of the few survival tactics left for many family farms. Help small farmers sbuy organic food. 8. Support a True Economy Although organic foods might seem more expensive than conventional foods; conventional food prices do not reflect hidden costs borne by tax payers, including nearly $74 billion on federal subsidies in 1988. Other hidden costs include pesticide regulation and testing, hazardous waste disposal and clean-up and environmental damage. Author Gary Null says " Ifáyou add in the real environment and social costs of irrigation to a head of lettuce, its price can range between $2 and $3". Support a true economy-buy organic food. 9. Promote Biodiversity Mono-cropping is the practice of planting large plots of land with the same crop year after year. While this approach tripled farm production between 1950 and 1970, the lack of natural diversity of plant life has left the soil lacking in natural minerals and nutrients. To replace the nutrients, chemical fertilizers are used, often in increasing amounts. Single crops are also much more susceptible to pests, making farmers more reliant on pesticides. Despite a ten-fold increase in the use of pesticides between 1947 and 1974, crop losses due to insects have doubled spartly because some insects have become genetically resistant to certain pesticides. Promote biodiversity sbuy organic food. 10. Taste Better Flavor There's a good reason why many chefs use organic foods in their recipes sthey taster better! Organic farming starts with the nourishment of the soil, which eventually leads to the nourishment of the plant and, ultimately, our palates. Taste better flavor sbuy organic food. (google search engine): Cruelty to animals is a widespread problem. Animal abuse refers to a wide variety of activities, ranging from unintentional neglect, which can sometimes be resolved through education or intervention activities, to intentional abuse, which is the malicious mistreating, tormenting, torturing, maiming, mutilating or killing of animals. Cruelty to animals is linked to crimes of violence against humans. many studies in psychology, sociology and criminology over the last 25 years have shown that violent criminals often have childhood and adolescent histories of animal abuse. The American Psychiatric Association considers animal cruelty as a diagnostic attribute of conduct disorder. (http://students.washington.edu/amsc/facts.htm) "It's a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong, something the best people have always done." -- Harriet Beecher Stowe At least 5 billion of U.S. tax dollars go into animal experiments annually. Over 70 million animals a year are tortured and killed in U.S. laboratories. Over 10 billion animals are slaughtered for human consumption every year. Cows of the 1990s live only about 4-5 years as opposed to the life expectancy of 20-25 years. To keep the animals at high levels of productivity, many dairy farmers keep the cows pregnant constantly through use of artificial insemination. Approximately 3.5 million fur-bearing animals are killed each year by trappers in the United States. More than 40,000 bulls are killed each year in bloody bullfights around the world. Up to 50,000 greyhounds are killed annually or sent to experimentation when they are no longer profitable for the racing industry. Thousands of animals, including endangered species, are killed annually by poaches to sell on black markets. "Poor animals! How jealously they guard their pathetic bodies…that which to us is merely an evening's meal, but to them is life itself." -- T. Casey Brennan Animal cruelty is generally defined as acts of violence or neglect perpetrated against animals. Approximately 11 billion animals are tortured and killed each year in the United States as a result of laboratory experiments, human consumption, and entertainment purposes. Many people who have witnessed or heard about cruelty are not aware that legal action can be taken. In the state of Washington , if a person is convicted of first degree in animal cruelty, he or she can be fined up to $10,000 and face imprisonment up to 5 years. Animal cruelty comes in different forms but is generally divided into two categories: neglect and intentional cruelty. Neglect is the failure to provide basic necessities such as food, water, and shelter to an animal. It is often caused by simple ignorance on the animal owner's part. On the other hand, intentional cruelty is usually an indicator of a human behavior problem. It is when an individual purposely inflicts substantial pain or causes physical injury or kills an animal. Located across the country are numerous animal welfare organizations that educate and raise awareness about animal cruelty. Many of these organizations work with cruelty investigation authority to help arrest individuals who have purposely tortured or killed animals. Fortunately, some animals are rescued and nurtured back to health by pet and animal rescue organizations. However, most do not survive the torturing and are only another statistic in the animal abuse files. "Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages." -- Thomas A. Edison Like you, animals do feel pain and agony. When they are threatened, they run away or growl or hiss to defend themselves. But when they are trapped inside cages, they are often never heard by anyone but themselves. Animals like rabbits, cats, and monkeys are often targets for experimental purposes. To them, being in the laboratories is like a death sentence. Unfortunately not all of the criminals who do cruel and gruesome acts to animals are caught. Witnesses are often unwilling or unable to testify, even though they know what happened. The purpose of this Web site is to raise awareness and motive viewers like you to take action when you see abusing animals. Remember, cruelty towards animals is punishable by law. Please take note and make an official report to the police to provide the crucial evidence to bring justice for the defenseless animals. (((peta.com: Kim Basinger, pink, Jack Johnson )))) From above: "We must educate the public. The average person has no idea of what's going on in factory farms, in laboratories, circuses, roadside zoos or rodeos." -- Bob Barker Always report animal cruelty or neglect to the proper authorities. If you know or suspect that an animal is being neglected or abused, report the incident to the local humane society or the police department. The key to preventing neglect is education. You can help prevent intentional/unintentional cruel acts by informing animal owners the correct way to care for their pets. If you see an animal who may be suffering or lacking basic necessities like food and water, contact your local animal control office for help. As for the animals in the labotratories, there is not much you can do except to boycott companies that test products on animals. Call the companies and let them know you will not contribute money to animal suffering. Consumer pressure is often why many companies switch to animal-free testing. Marine animals such as dolphins in theme parks rarely survive their teens, despite their high life-expectancy of 40 years. They often die of pneumonia, ulcers, and other stress-related illnesses. Stop supporting animal suffering by boycotting marine theme parks. In addition, learn more about rodeos. You would be surprised as to how the animals are treated. Last but not least, get involved. Oftentimes local animal shelters need volunteers like you to help care for the animals. Remember, you can help save a life! "Life is as dear to a mute creature as it is to man. Just as one wants happiness and fears pain, just as one wants to live and not die, so do other creatures." -- The Dalai Lama http://www.animalfreedom.org/ meat tastes good vegetarian food tastes good meat is healthy vegetarian food is healthier eating meat is natural eating meat produced in factory farming is unnatural meat is indispensable, without it you will become ill a vegetarian taking a balanced diet does not risk his health, only vegans (who eat absolutely no animal products at all) have to supplement their diet with vitamin B-12. If they do that, they will stay healthy. animals exist to be eaten, that happens in nature in nature hardly any species of animal imprisons other animals for their entire lives so they can eat them when they want to humans need animal protein during digestion, all proteins are broken down to amino acids, all of which also occur in plant protein. The human body needs amino acids to build up proteins itself. if all people would be vegetarian, there would be more hunger in the world the opposite is the case, if vegetable food were distributed justly, all hunger would be banished. humans seek the life-force of an animal, the life-force will continue to exist if an animal is butchered with dignity life-force disappears anytime animals are killed Vegan president: 2004 Rep. Dennis Kucinich Compassion Over Killing (COK) is a nonprofit animal advocacy organization based in Washington, D.C. Working to end animal abuse, COK primarily focuses on cruelty to animals in agriculture and promotes vegetarian eating as a way to build a kinder world for all of us, both human and nonhuman. (cok .net) Like dogs and cats, the animals we eat are intelligent individuals who can feel pain, experience joy, and suffer from sadness. And like dogs and cats, they value their lives. Yet they are treated so abusively that similar treatment of dogs or cats would be grounds for animal cruelty charges in all 50 states. “As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures, there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.” -Isaac Bashevis Singer, Nobel Prize Winner For us to consume their meat, milk, and eggs, animals raised for food are denied nearly every basic need. Most never feel the grass beneath their feet or even go outdoors. These farmed animals are confined so intensively in cages, crates, pens, and sheds, many cannot walk freely. Some can’t even turn around or stretch a limb, let alone exercise or roam. Even more, they suffer from horrible physical abuses and mutilations, such as branding, castration, and beak, toe, and tail amputations-all without painkiller. Egg-laying hens are intensively confined in row upon row of tiny cages. They never see sunlight, touch earth, or even flap their wings. While pregnant, most female pigs are kept in metal crates so small they can’t even turn around. “Vegetarians have the best diet. They have the lowest rates of coronary disease of any group in the country. [T]hey have a fraction of our heart attack rate and they have only 40 percent of our cancer rate.” -William Castelli, M.D., Director, Framingham Heart Study, the longest-running epidemiological study in medical history For the Earth Manure lagoons, like this one at a dairy farm, can burst or leak, contaminating the water.Raising animals for food is a leading cause of pollution in this country, contaminating the soil, the air we breathe, and the water we drink. A U.S. Senate Committee on Agriculture, Nutrition, and Forestry report states that five tons of farmed animal manure is produced annually for every woman, man, and child in the United States. Animal agriculture is also responsible for tremendous amounts of wasted resources. According to the Audubon Society, roughly 70 percent of grain and 50 percent of water consumed in the United States are used by the meat industry. Make a Difference. Start Today. Our everyday food choices have far-reaching impacts which can’t be ignored. By choosing vegetarian fare, we choose compassion over cruelty, sustainability over environmental destruction, and protection for our health. By becoming vegetarian, we can help make the world a better place, with every bite we take. It’s as Easy as 1-2-3! Becoming vegetarian is easier than ever! Nearly every major grocery store chain features such meatless delights as tasty vegetarian burgers and hot dogs, creamy soy and rice milks, tangy marinara sauces, zesty bean dips, and so much more. Take a stroll through the aisles, pick up some vegetarian food, and get creative in the kitchen!

http://forum.cjb.net/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?forum=ravenblack http://guestbook.cjb.net/cgi-bin/guestbook.cgi?view=ravenblack http://guestbook.cjb.net/cgi-bin/guestbook.cgi?sign=ravenblack http://boymeetsboy.keenspace.com : Sandra Delete .. female http://arcana.keenspace.com : Aelyn .... female (??) http://www.poppyzbrite.com : horror writer with a penchant for vampires (gay ones) http://www.annerice.com/ac_Biography.htm ... need i say more.. except perhaps that she used to write gay pulp (or something to that effect).

Teen Years Characters: Cranberry Foster~ 15, Rosenburg High (Sophomore) Cherrie Foster~ 13, Rosenburg Middle (8th Grade) - Lacey Foster~ 34, mother Delainey Evans~ 33, mother's girlfriend Kristin Evans~ 7, Delainey's daughter, home-schooled - Percy Knight~ 13, Cherrie's on-off boyfriend Mallory Utley~ 14, Cherrie's friend Maya Namois~ 13, Cherrie's friend Kaylee Montgomery~ 13, likes Percy Kevin Montgomery~ 14, held back. Maya likes him. Kaylee's brother. Jacob Addison~ 13, in Cherrie's class. Goes out with Mallory. Luke Young~ 14, a new guy to Cherrie's school. Bryan Wilde~ 14, Tyler's brother. Doesn't like Cherrie or her friends, because she won't go out with him. - Angel Jonson~ 15, Cranberry's best friend Ryan Deven~ 17, Cranberry's crush Tyler Wilde~ 16, likes Cranberry Lewis Utley~ 15, cute, and funny, in Cranberry's class Morgan Taylor~ 16, Ryan's ex, still likes him Tiffanie Danick~ 16, Morgan's best friend, likes Tyler - Mrs. Rodney~ 29, Biology teacher Episodes: First- First Love *The theme song Crazy Life by Toad The Wet Sprocket plays..* *The high school hallway comes up, with some kids around. Cranberry walks around the corner with Angel* Cranberry: So, what are you doing today? Angel: (Chewing gum) *Shruggs* Nothing. Want to crash at the mall? Cranberry: I guess. *Ryan comes around the corner, and accidently bumps into Cranberry.* Ryan: *Mumbles* Sorry. *Walks past them* Cranberry: *Sighs, when he's gone* Angel: You should talk to him. Cranberry: *Looks over her shoulder and then stops at her locker* But he doesn't even notice I'm here. Angel: Then make him notice you. Cranberry: *Takes a book out of her locker* And how do I do that? Angel: *Shruggs* I don't know. *Looks over Cranberry's shoulder, and hides a smile* But someone notices you. *Starts to walk off* Cranberry: Wait, where are you going? Tyler: *From behind her* Hi, Cranberry. Cranberry: *Catches Angel's eye as she looks back, and gives her a look.**From under her breathe* I'm going to kill you Angel. *Turns around* Hey, Tyler. Tyler: *Smiles* So, do you have a partner for Biology yet? Cranberry: No, not yet. I would partner up with Angel, but she is in that photography program right now, so she misses the class. Tyler: We could work together if you want.. Cranberry: *Can't think of a way to get out of it* Sure, why not. *The middle school, in homeroom, kids all around, Cherrie, Mallory and Maya are talking.* Maya: Are you going to ask Percy to the switch-around dance? Cherrie: Of course. I'm going to ask him when he comes over after school. Mallory: Wicked! So, who are you going to ask Maya? I'm going to ask Jacob. Cherrie: *Laughs* Like always. Mallory: He's just a little shy! Cherrie: *Rolls her eyes* Maya: Um, I don't know. Mallory: Well, let's find you someone. Cherrie: Matchmaker time... *Grins* Maya: No! I mean, I have a guy in mind.. Cherrie: Come on! Spill, girl! Mallory: Yeah, who's the lucky guy. Maya: I'm going to ask him first, before I tell. I don't want to jinx it. Cherrie: *Puts an arm around Maya* Come on, Maya. We're best friends! Mallory: *Nods her head, smiling* Maya: Ok, it's...Kevin. *From behind her, Kaylee gasps* Kaylee: My brother!! *Maya looks embarressed, and Cherrie and Mallory are shocked* *At the lockers, Percy, Kevin and Jacob are talking.* Percy: *Shoving his math book in his already crammed locker* Cherrie is definely going to ask me. No way she won't. Kevin: But I've already heard Kaylee telling her friends she was gonna ask you. Percy: Come on, Kev. Kaylee's cute and all, but she's not my type. Plus, she's your sister. Jacob: Yeah, you might think Percy was your best friend only to get to your sister. Kevin: *Laughs* She would get him anyway. Percy: I heard you and Mallory are going strong. Jacob: Yeah. *His neck gets a little red* Kevin: Gone anywhere yet? *Laughs* Jacob: *Doesn't say anything, just gets his English book out of his locker.* Percy: Looks like Jacob is not the kiss and tell type. Kevin: *Laughs* *Bryan walks up the hall, in a walk that says he thinks he is every woman's dream. He stops in front of Percy.* Bryan: *Puts an arm around Percy* Welcome to the Cherrie's trashouts.. Percy: *Shruggs off his arm* What are you talking about? Kevin: The only trash here is you, dude. Bryan: Ouch. Getting no love, Kevy? Jacob: Can you say what you want so you can leave? Bryan: *Glares at Jacob**Turns to Percy* Didn't you heard? Cherrie's got a new love in her life. Percy: You don't know what the hell you are talking about. Bryan: Dude, I know it firsthand. I saw Cherrie frenching some guy after school Monday. They looked really into it. Kevin: *Pushes Bryan* Get off, dude. Bryan: *Grins, and walks off.* Jacob: It's not true. It can't be. Kevin: Yeah, Percy. Percy: *Has a hurt look on his face, and he turns around and walks off.* Kevin: *Looks at Jacob, and they go off after him.* *From a locker down from Percy's.* Kaylee: *Smiles as she sees the look on Percy's face.**She turns to Bryan* Thank so much, Bryan. You don't know how much this means to me. *Smiles at him, flirtingly.* Bryan: *Grins* No problem. Anything to get back at Cherrie for dumping me. Kaylee: Aw, poor Bryan. *Runs a fingertip down his jaw, looking at him* Still hurt? Bryan: *Huskily* Not for long. Kaylee: *Suddenly moves back, and walks off* Bye, Bry. *Waves over her shoulder.* Bryan: *Mad, yells down the hall* Damn tease! *Stalks off the other way* *Getting off the bus, Cranberry, and Cherrie.* Cranberry: *Mumbles* Why can't I just talk to him? Cherrie: To who? Cranberry: *Looks startled at her voice* What? Cherrie: *Laughs* You just said "Why can't I talk to him?" Cranberry: Oh. Cherrie: Sis, come on. You can tell me. Cranberry: There's a guy. Cherrie: Ouuu.. *Grins* Cranberry: And I really like him, but he barely knows I'm alive. Cherrie: Then make him notice you. Cranberry: That's what Angel said. Cherrie: Smart girl. *Laughs* *At the doorway, their mother Lacey, stands, smiling.* Lacey: Hey sweeties. Cherrie: Hey Mom. Delaniey: *Comes outside* Cranberry: Hi, Mom. Hey, Delaniey. Delaniey: We were just making cookies for Kristin's girl scout troup. *Grins* We have extras. Cherrie: Yum! Cookies are my weakness. *Runs in the house* Cranberry: *Laughs* Aside from boys. Lacey: Come on in, baby. *Cranberry walks in, with Lacey and Delainey behind her, with their arms around each other.* *Cherrie lays on her bed, listening to music on her stereo, and is reading a magazine in a tshirt and pajama shorts. A knock on the door.* Cherrie: (Not looking up) Come in. Delaniey: Hey Cherrie, dinner will be ready in half an hour, and Percy is here to see you. Cherrie: *Smiles* Thanks, Delaniey. Delaniey: *Smiles, and goes out* Percy: *Comes in* Cherrie: *Smiles, jumps up and kisses Percy on the mouth* Hey! Percy: *Doesn't kiss back, and has a frown on his face.* Hey yourself. Cherrie: *Hurt* What's wrong, Percy? Percy: *Backs up, out of Cherrie's arms* What's wrong? Nothing, except that you have been cheating on me! Cherrie: *Confused* What are you talking about? Percy: You know what I mean! Frenching some guy after school. Cherrie: But... Percy: *Cuts her off* No buts! You can't lie anymore. *Shakes his head, and his voice is softer/lower* Cherrie, you're the only girl I've ever dated that I said I love you to. But I guess you don't feel the same. *Walks out and slams the door* Cherrie: *Opens the door, quickly, and Percy is going down the stairs* But I do! *He slams the front door behind him, and she falls to the floor, sobbing. Delainey, and Lacey come up the stairs, looking confused, and Cranberry comes out of her room down the hall.* *It's Biology, and Angel just walked out, leaving Cranberry sitting at an empty lab table. Then Ryan comes over.* Ryan: Hey, got a partner yet? Cranberry: Well.. Tyler: (Cuts her off) Yeah, she does. *Sits down* Me. Ryan: *Looks at Tyler, then at Cranberry.* Cranberry: Um, yeah. Ryan: *Shrugs* Okay. *Walks off to another table.* Cranberry: *Sighs* Tyler: *Smiles* Hi, Cranberry. Cranberry: *Looks over at him, and fakes a smile* Hi, Tyler. Tiffanie: (Comes over) Mind if I sit down, Tyler? *Smiles, flirtingly* Tyler: Yeah, whatever. Tiffanie: *Looks at Cranberry* Mind moving? Cranberry: Okay, fine. Tyler: Tiffanie, why don't you just sit in the last seat beside Cranberry? Tiffanie: But I'm not good in science. *Puts a hand on his shoulder* You are, and you can help me. Tyler: Well, then how about I sit in the middle? Tiffanie: *Looks mad about him sitting next to Cranberry* Whatever. *They sit in their seats* *The teacher comes in.* Mrs. Rodney: Kids, I have some very important news. Lewis: (Sitting with Ryan, and Morgan) You're leaving? *People laugh* Mrs. Rodney: Very cute, Mr. Utley. Lewis: *Grins, and leans back in his seat* Mrs. Rodney: Actually, we are taking a break from Biology. Everyone: Yay! Cool! (Etc.) Mrs: Rodney: Calm down..we will be doing a project to help you realize what having children and your own family means. Lewis: What do you mean? Mrs. Rodney: I will make boy-girl partnerships, and you will pretend to be married. Everyone: *Groans* Mrs. Rodney: *Smiles* First, let's put you into groups, and then explain what you're doing. Tiffanie: Can't we pick our own partner? *Looks at Tyler, and smiles* Mrs. Rodney: I don't think so. That would cause problems. Now, first partnership...Tiffanie and.. Tiffanie: *Mumbles under her breath* Tyler. Tyler. Tyler. Mrs. Rodney: ...Lewis. *Tiffanie, and Lewis look at each other, both not liking this.*' Mrs. Rodney: Then Tyler and.... *Tyler smiles at Cranberry* Mrs. Rodney: ...Morgan. *Tyler looks disappointed, and moves near Morgan. Tiffanie is sitting near Lewis, pouting* Mrs. Rodney: Cranberry and...Ryan. *Cranberry looks a little shocked, and then Ryan moves over to her.* *Mrs. Rodney is calling off more names and people move.* Ryan: *Smiles* Hey, looks like we're married. Cranberry: Um..yeah. Ryan: *Leans over to you* I don't know about you, but I don't remember a wedding. Cranberry: *Bites her lip, to keep from laughing.* But I'm glad. Ryan: *Raises an eyebrow* Me too. Cranberry: *Smiles* Ryan: *Smiles back* *Tyler is looking at them, not looking happy.* Morgan: Don't except to try to be all cool now, Tyler. I am not going to say anything about this in public. Understand? Tyler: *Looks at her* No problem. I didn't want to be with you anyway. Morgan: *Glances at Cranberry and Ryan, them laughing with each other.* I know you like Cranberry. Tyler: Yeah. Morgan: Sorry, she doesn't like you back. If you want to know, I was hoping to be with Ryan. Tyler: *looks at her* I thought you two broke up. Morgan: We did, but I still want him. Tyler: If only Ryan could go back to you, then there would be nothing between me and Cranberry getting together. Morgan: I agree. *Nods* Mrs. Rodney: Ok, here's what we are going to do. I have slips of paper here with different things on them. First, we will see how many kids you will have. You will have either 1 child, 2 or 3. These are the ones we are using. *Picks up a baby that really crys.* You must never leave them alone. *She hands out the slips.* Ryan: *Opens one dramatically* Look, we got 1 child. Cranberry: Aww, that's cute. . Ryan: What's a good name? *Mrs. Rodney gave them one of the babies*

-Woods behind house, Not close neighbors, Dog~ FiFi First Chapter: Tanya and Riely are the biological daughters of Selena and Georj Carlota. Tanya Richelle was born on September 6, 1995. At first, Selena and George loved her dearly. The would do anything in the world for her. She had a closet full of clothes, plenty of food, and a loving family. "Tanya, sweetie, let's go eat." Selena Carlotta whispered in her daughter's ear, waking her up in the warm September morning, just a few days after her second birthday. Tanya Richelle Carlotta had it made. She stretched her arms, as her mother walked out of the room. She quickly followed behind her, her feet on her designer pajamas scratching the blue carpet. She ran down the stairs, dodging the dolls and toys she had gotten for her birthday and left on the stairs. She skipped into the kitchen in front of her mother and smiled as she saw her dad. "Good morning, baby." Georj Carlotta said to his only child. Tanya ran into his arms, and he gave her a big hug, and Tanya placed a loud kiss on his cheek. He sat her down in her booster seat. Her mother brought over a plate with srambled eggs and bacon, toast, and a glass of cold milk for her. "Thanks Mommy!" She started to dig in. "Your welcome, hunny." Selena placed a kiss on Tanya's forehead. Second Chapter: She enjoyed a wonderful life until Riely Marya was born on January 12, 1998, when Tanya was 2 years old. As soon as Riely was born, Selena and Georj neglected Tanya. They said they hated her, and they only loved Riely. They didn't want anything to do with Tanya anymore. They wanted to spend all their time with Riely. Third Chapter: Tanya was forced to live outside in a little garden shed. So none on the neighbors would notice, and so Tanya couldn't escape, Georj put wallpaper over the windows and nailed the door shut. There was a tiny hole in the back of the shed that he kept open. Once a day, if Tanya was lucky, Georj would come back and slip food through the hole. Tanya was never allowed out because Selena and Georj never wanted to have to look at her again. The one dress she had was getting too small, and it was dirty and ripped. all of her other clothes had been given to Riely. Fourth Chapter: She hadn't had a bath in almost a year. Tanya is terrified of the dark, especially when there was a thunderstorm, so she would scream and cry when she was scared, enough to wake up her parents and Riely, making Riely cry. Georj would come outside and threaten to kill her if she didn't shut up. Meanwhile, Riely was having a wonderful life with a family that was great to her. She couldn't remember Tanya, but sometimes wondered where her daddy went when he went outside once a day. Riely was told to stay very far away from the shed, and she always obeyed. Fifth Chapter: One day, Selena realized that they would go through a lot less trouble if they just forgot about Tanya. Georj agreed, and went outside to seal up the hole. Tanya recieved no food for a week. The only way she could get water was by standing under a place where the roof leaked and opening her mouth to catch the drops when it rained. By this time, the shed smelled horrible. Sixth Chapter: After a few days, while Riely was playing outside, she heard noises coming from the shed. Being the curious almost 3 year old that she was, she went to see what it was. Tanya used all of her strength and all of the words she knew to try to yell that her name was Tanya, and she was trapped. Riely ran to her mother to tell her that a girl named Tanya was trapped in the shed. Selena told her that it was just a bratty little girl, and they were letting her die, because all bratty little girls deserved to be dead. But Riely was very smart, and bratty or not, she was not going to let a girl die. Seventh Chapter: Although she was only about 3 years old, she knew that a person needed food to survive. Every night, Riely would force herself to stay awake until Selena and Georj went to bed. Then, she would sneak outside through the doggy door that their puppy, FiFi, used. She went out to Tanya's shed. She pulled, while Tanya kicked, to open up the hole that Georj sealed again. They finally managed to do it, and Riely would bring Tanya food every night, then carefully place the piece of wood agaists then shed again, so no one would notice that they opened it. Selena and Georj never even noticed that food was missing, they didn't think Tanya could get it because she was locked up. Eighth Chapter: Riely's plan worked for about a month, until one day, her parents went to bed but did not go to sleep, they stayed up, reading. Riely went outside, and her parents heard noises, so Selena looked out the window to see what it was. She was shocked when she saw her angelic daughter Riely toddling over to the shed, ripping off the piece of wood, and giving food to Tanya. Selena met Riely inside, and spanked her for going out to help Tanya. She told her that Tanya was a very bad, bratty girl. Riely, who loved her mother very much, believed her, and started to cry. Selena told her that it was okay, that it was all Tanya's fault, that she made Riely bring her food, and she would pay for it tomorrow. She warned Riely never to act like Tanya, or the same things would happen to her. She told Riely that she was going to lock her in the dark room in the attic and not feed her, to show her what would happen if she ever tried to help Tanya again. Ninth Chapter: The next day, Georj went out to kill Tanya. He set the shed on fire. Tanya screamed and cried, not knowing what to do. Then she had an idea. She kicked over the piece of wood leaning against the shed, and started to rip away the moldy old wood on that side. Meanwhile, Selena and Georj were standing there watching Tanya being killed, very happy that they would never have to deal with her again. Riely sat there crying. She is terrified of fire, and knows that it could kill you. Earlier that day, Selena had told her that she would not be locked in the closet that day, she would just get no food today and tomorrow to make up for the food she gave to Tanya. Riely believed that Tanya was a bad girl, but still didn't understand why her parents wanted her to die. She screamed and cried, not knowing what else to do. Tenth Chapter: She wanted to help Tanya, but she definately did not want her parents to try to kill her too. So she ran. Just ran away from all her problems. Her parents didn't even notice, they were too busy watching Tanya die, or so they thought. It had only taken Tanya a few pulls to clear enough space for her to escape from the burning shed, because she was so thin. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, back into the safety of the woods behind her house. It was there that she bumped into Riely. She was terrified, it had been so long since she had seen another human. She could only say a few words. Eleventh Chapter: At that moment, Selena realized that Riely was gone. She gasped, wondering where her wonderful daughter could be. She told Georj, and he searched in front of the house, and Selena searched the woods in the back. After only about 5 minutes of searching, Selena found Riely and Tanya, still staring at each other, open mouthed. She gasped when she saw Tanya. She had thought she was dead. She screamed for Georj, and he came running. Selena was praising Riely for finding Tanya. Now Riely was even more confused. She thought her mommy hated Tanya. Selena picked up Riely and carried her inside, while Georj dragged Tanya by her hair up into the dark room in the attic, where Tanya was terrified all day long. Riely was rewarded for "finding" Tanya. This time, Tanya was fed, but usually she was just given a sandwich or something that would have to last her the entire day. Tweleth Chapter: About a month later, with Tanya still living in the room in the attic, Riely, who basically forgot about Tanya and was nearly brainwashed by her parents, was enjoying a wonderful life, and no one even knew about the Carlota's first daughter. Thirteenth Chapter: Then, one day, Selena and Georj found out that Selena was going to have another baby. They were overjoyed. So overjoyed that they sometimes forgot about Riely. When the time for the new baby to come into the world got closer, Selena and Georj decided that they didn't want anything to do with Riely anymore. They took everything away from her, even stipping her of her clothes. They threw her in the attic room with Tanya. When Riely first saw Tanya again. she remembered that Tanya was the "bad girl" that she had tried to help, but mommy had told her no, and she told Tanya this, but Tanya barley understood. Riely didn't understand why her parents didn't love her anymore. Fourteenth Chapter: About a week after Riely came to the room, Selena gave birth to Tanya and Riely's biological brother, Dominic Georj. He lived the wonderful life that both Tanya and Riely had lived in the beginning of their lives, except Dominic didn't even know he had two big sisters, and Tanya and Riely didn't even know they had a baby brother. Selena had told Riely that she was pregnant, but that's all she knew. Fifthteenth Chapter: After a while, Riely began to realize that Tanya wasn't a bad girl, and maybe mommy had been lying. Tanya began to learn how to talk a little more by listening to Riely. However, it had been years since Tanya changed her clothes or had a bath or even brushed her hair, and Riely didn't even have clothes, and it had been monthes since her last bath. They were each given two pieces of bread and an apple each day, if their parents remembered them, and never anything else. At this point, Tanya was 6 years old and Riely was 3. Sixteenth Chapter: One day, Selena decided that she didn't want to have to waste time and money for feeding Tanya and Riely, so she pack a small bag for them, attached a note to it, and gave it to Tanya. She told them their ages and birthdays, and Tanya her name, because she did not remember. Tanya has had one birthday party ever, Riely had two. She put them in the back of their car, and threw them out in Clearwater Crossing, praying that she would never have to see them again. Seventeenth Chapter: They get found by an old lady who takes them to a foster home. They live there for a few days. The old lady's granddaughter (around 34), likes them. Social worker, Rebecca Layne. Husband- Tommy Layne(38). Grandmother lives with them on third floor. Kids on second floor, except Cameron. Eighteenth Chapter: Granddaughter, Rebecca Layne, tells her grandmother, and them. Adopts them. On September 7, 2002, a day after Tanya's seventh birthday. Reily-5. She takes them home. Other kids-Naomi-8 (Korean), Susan-4 (Not adopted), Demenica "Demy"(13)(Dark hair to their blonde hair/blue eyes), & Cameron (3)- not adopted. Ninteenth Chapter: Wants them to go to school. Thunderstorm, burns tree. They get scared. --Tanya Richelle is now 7 years old. She has Developmental Delays, because of not being around people for the majority of her life. She learned most of her words from Riely, who sometimes talks better than Tanya. Tanya is terrified of the dark, and of spiders(there were many in the shed), fire, and people that look like her, like her mom and dad. Tanya also sucks her thumb, but mostly only when she is scared or alone, and it comforts her. This is a bad habit, but in some parts of her life it was all she could do, so it is hard for her to break it. Riely Marya is now 5 years old. She is only afraid of the dark a little bit, but usually only when there is a thunderstorm, or she hears scary noises. She is still terrified of fire. Twentith Chapter: Getting it together. Tanya loves to sing, something she would do often when she was alone. She also likes to learn, although she never attended school. She has begun to show and interest in drawing, painting, and taking pictures. Riely likes all kinds of animals, especially birds, dolphins, cats, and dogs. She loves to play dress up and play at playgrounds and outside. She loves to watch movies, and sometimes make her own. She wants to be a "mov sta!" when she growns up. She has a doll, Lulu, that was a gift from her mother before she was locked in the attic room. It is her most prized possession. Twenty-first Chapter: About five years later. Tanya- 12, Riely- 10. Foster Home is full, so Rebecca brings home a boy to stay for a while. They find out it is Dominic, Tanya and Riely's brother. Rebecca tells them. She adopts him. Dominic had been abandoned like them. He's 6. Neighbor, Gabrielle Jamiez, can't have kids. Really nice and likes to play with kids. Rebecca says she should think of adopting. Twenty-second Chapter: Selena and Georj have smarted up. They had their fourth child when they gave Dominic away. He is two years old and named Carlos Anthony. They want their other 3 kids back. Rebecca and Tommy refuse. Twenty-third Chapter: They go to court. Private with just a judge, and a recorder. Selena and Georj said they have changed, and deny being so cruel to the girls. Judge asks the kids. Tanya, Reily, and Dominic all say that want to stay with Rebecca and Tommy. The judge lets them stay with them, and takes Carlos away from them. Gabrielle adopts Carlos. Selena and Georj go to jail for 3 cases of child abuse, and abandonment. The Ending: Year later. Demenica has moved out and gotten married. Pregant. Brings her husband~ There's a big bar-b-que. All the kids are there with Rebecca and Tommy. Gabrielle is there, with Carlos. Grandmother is there. A few more neighbors and kids. Riely's new best friend. Tanya, Riely, Dominic all playing. Near the end, Tanya is sitting with on a swing, and Rebecca comes over and asked what's wrong. Tanya smiled, and says she isn't forgotten anymore. Their a family now. Just the beginning of your life. Rebecca goes to kiss Tommy. Tanya sees one of the neighborhood boys looking at her and she smiled. Thinks "Maybe Mom is right..just the beginning." Walks over to him. Ages at End: Rebecca & Tommy~ 40 & 44 Tanya~ 13 Reily~ 11 Dominic~ 7 Carlos~ 3 Naomi~ 14 Susan~ 10 Demenica~ 19 Cameron~ 9

Theory of Social Interaction (C) Bondage Kitten 2003 Social Interaction. Big word, huh? It means how people react and communicate with other people. I personally think some of us are better at this than others. Take political leaders, for example, they know how to cater to the masses to gave popluarity for themselves, while spreading lies, and false hopes. The words "politics" is a very good term for this, since "poli" means many, and "tics" means blood-sucking creatures. All my experiences are from two years in public high school, which next week, will be my third year. How sad. Now, many people are two-faced. That means, in dumb-downed terms, backstabbers. They pretend to be friends with someone, then talk very bad about them behind their backs.

My To-Invent List ---------------------- 1) Turn on cell phones in the middle of movies. 2) Vibrating car wash. 3) Way to keep dogs & cats to stop them from getting run over. 4) Tummy Tuck in an easy to use box. 5) Time-travel machine in a portable package. 6) Money growing on a tree. 7) A man who puts the toilet seat down.