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05 | 02 | 00

Your Mother

Alot of Motherfuckers

"Fuck It" by Eamon

.:.The Good Ole U.S. Of A.:.

-Scene One-

"Where are you going?"

I was inside my hotel room stuffing my clothes into a suitcase when Shorty Junior walked into the room.

Kenny Turner: "Back to the states."

Shorty Junior: "Why? Got an urge for cheap hookers and football?"

I looked up at him, I wasn't pleased with this question.

Shorty Junior: "Ha. I'm just joking man, what's up your ass?"

Kenny Turner: "Alice, my old girlfriend, that's what's up my ass."

Shorty Junior: "Oh, her?"

Kenny Turner: "Yeah. Fat Tony said she's trying to sue me now, press charges."

Shorty Junior: "For what?"

Kenny Turner: "You know that promo I pulled for my match with Twain? She's saying that that really happened, that I really hit her."

Shorty Junior: "Did you?"

Kenny Turner: "Did I hit her? Hell no! I loved that women too much, I wouldn't lay a hand on her if she was chasing after me with a butcher knife."

Shorty Junior: "God, I didn't know you two were that serious."

Kenny Turner: "Well I was serious, I don't know about her."

I paused, realising I had been sharing my personal relationship with Alice with my most hated enemy.

Kenny Turner: "Why am I telling you all this stuff anyways? You need to get back to getting ready for our match this week, both of them. Get all that sissy nonsense out of your head..."

Shorty Junior: "Just because I stopped my match with Logan Quicksilver because he was hurt doesn't mean a damn thing, it just means I have compassion and a conscience..."

Kenny Turner: "...and a set of panties and Dr. Phil on TiVo. Get used to the fact that we are in the wrestling business, we're not a bunch of pansies trying to help each other out. Pretty soon Shorty, if you keep helping the bear out of his trap that bear is gonna eat your ass!"

Shorty Junior: "That was maybe... the most corniest line I've ever heard in my entire life."

I ignored him and zipped up my suitcase, or at least got into a tug of war with the zipper on the suitcase.

Shorty Junior: "Besides Kenny, I don't need you telling me how to have a successful wrestling career. Last time I checked, mine involved a world title..."

I walked over to the mini-fridge in the hotel room and pulled out a Coke. I opened it and held it up in the air.

Kenny Turner: "Here's to you Shorty Junior, the one who held a world title in a developmental federation before losing it to a former fag... Cheers!"

I then proceeded to drink the Coke. Shorty walked over to my fridge and took a Coke out as well, opening it and lifting it into the air.

Kenny Turner: "Hey! Who told you you could steal my Cokes? Put that down!"

Shorty Junior: "And here's to you Kenny, the person who's biggest accomplishment is holding the worst title in a developmental federation... first! Cheers for being the fastest loser!"

He began to drink the Coke now, when he pulled the can down he had a smile on his face.

Kenny Turner: "You owe me fifty cents for that Coke."

I grabbed my suitcase and began walking towards the door.

Kenny Turner: "Alright kid, time to get out, I got a flight to catch."

Shorty Junior: "You mean we have a flight to catch."

Kenny Turner: "Huh?"

Shorty Junior: "I told you last week, where you go... I go."

Kenny Turner: "No... No... Not today, junior."

Shorty Junior: "I hate to be around you just as much as you hate being around me, but we have a big match coming up at Fight for Greatness."

Kenny Turner: "Oh, the match where I beat you into a bloody pulp with a whole bunch of street weapons?"

Shorty Junior: "Not that, that's the one where I kick your ass, I'm talking about the Camraderie Championship Turmoil match for those titles. To be the first ever tag team champs in PBW. We have to cooperate to win that."

Kenny Turner: "I don't want to burst your whole cooperation bubble here but newsflash... I win whether or not me and my partner can cooperate. It's called pure talent baby and I've got that."

Shorty Junior: "Pure talent really propelled you to the top in your match against Pestilence alright..."

Kenny Turner: "You know damn well if you didn't interfere I would've won."

Shorty Junior: "Newsflash for you, I interfered on behalf of you. I took out Evan, the guy that was coming in to try and cost you the match, you blew it yourself."

Kenny Turner: "Whatever, we can sit here and argue all night but I and I alone have a plane to catch. I'll be back for Fight to Greatness."

Shorty Junior: "As will I."

Kenny Turner: "Okay kid, if you're so determined to go, tell me... What clothes are you going to wear?"

He walked outside and I followed him to a car. He popped the trunk and pulled out a suitcase before shutting the trunk back close. He patted his hand on the suitcase.

Shorty Junior: "Presto!"

Kenny Turner: "What do you live in your car or something?"

Shorty Junior: "Actually, unlike you, I have a house. Some big fat Italian man named Fat Tony doesn't take all of my money."

Kenny Turner: "Shut up and get in the car. I'm only letting you go cause you'll be saving me a couple dollars on a cab."

Kenny and Shorty hopped into the car. They took off down the road and towards the airport.

-Scene Two-

"Watch your step."

I told Shorty as he nearly tripped over a misplaced step in front of the apartment building we were at in California.

Shorty Junior: "Who's apartment is this anyways?"

We climbed the steps up to the little speaker box.

Kenny Turner: "Umm... Who is the whole reason for why we are here? Alice..."

Shorty Junior: "Oh, right."

I searched the names on the box before coming across the one that read "Alice Brady". Shorty noticed this and started laughing, I turned around.

Kenny Turner: "What's so funny?"

Shorty Junior: "Oh it's nothing, I just didn't know that your girlfriend was a part of the Brady Bunch, or at least a maid for them!"

Kenny Turner: "Ha... Ha... Now I see why I didn't want to take you on this little trip."

I pushed the button on the box and a voice responded in a couple of seconds.


Kenny Turner: "Alice, it's Kenny. We've gotta talk."

Alice: "I'm not letting you in, you'll hit me again."

Kenny Turner: "Quit the bullshit Alice, I don't have an attorney with me."

Alice: "Fine. Come on up."

A buzz was heard and then the door in front of me popped ajar. I opened the door and made my way to apartment 12, the one that was on the speaker box. Shorty followed behind me. Alice was waiting at the door as we arrived.

Alice: "Thought you didn't have an attorney with you?"

Kenny Turner: "This is Shorty Junior from Majestic, you know that."

Alice: "Oh, I guess so. Come in then."

As I stepped into the apartment I could see just how much it had changed along with Alice. No longer was it the tidy clean little apartment, it was in more disaray than my life. Alice wasn't looking too good herself. She wasn't looking dirty or anything, just not the Alice I remembered.

Kenny Turner: "What the hell is all this domestic violence garbage I'm hearing about?"

Alice: "It happened."

Kenny Turner: "It did not! God knows I would never hit you."

Shorty just watched, pleased with my situation.

Alice: "You know what Kenny, it's time for me to come out on top for once."

Kenny Turner: "What's that supposed to mean?"

Alice: "It means you always got the spotlight, always. You were this big superstar in Majestic while I was just your sidekick girlfriend."

Shorty laughed, we both looked over at him.

Shorty Junior: "I'm sorry, you just said 'big superstar'..."

He laughed again before me and Alice turned our attention back to each other.

Kenny Turner: "So this is it huh? Your little cry for attention? It's gonna land me in jail!"

Alice: "We both know it won't go that far. It might make a couple tabloids, if we're lucky the nightly news, and then you pay up."

Kenny Turner: "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Alice: "You pay up. I need the money Kenny, it isn't all rainbows and ponies for me right now."

Kenny Turner: "It isn't for me either."

Alice: "What are you talking about? Your a big wrestler in Japan. I'm sure your making loads of money."

Kenny Turner: "You don't know the half of it and your not going to find out either. You won't touch a penny of my money, not again in your life. You fucked that all up when you had to go and announce to the world that I wasn't Ted Turner's grandson. Now you have to live your life like a bum."

Alice: "I've been meaning to ask, how's the trailor park family doing?"

I made my way out of the door as Shorty followed, I was pissed off but all Shorty could do was find pleasure in my pain and make little jokes about it. He followed me pumping his fists and yelling.

Shorty Junior: "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

"Dear Faggots, this roleplay in no way, shape, or form represents any real WWE, TNA, ROH, or other shitty federation's characters. Please don't try to say shit because I will cut your balls off and let Mae Young suck on them. And to the fuckers who suck at writing and who aren't creative, if you steal my shit I will steal your mother's virginity. kthxbi, Kenny Turner."