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06 | 03 | 00

Your Mother

vs Pestilence - Legacy Championship

"Hit or Miss" by New Found Glory

Remember the time we wrote our names upon the wall?

Remember the time we realized Thriller was our favorite song?


Point Blank Wrestling has been opened for how long now? About three months right? So after three long months, I finally get my first title shot. Do you know how long I was in Majestic for before I got my first title shot? One week. Yep, that's all it was, one whole week. What's even funnier is the fact that I lost, or better yet was cheated out of my first match and then was given a title shot there the next week. Now I've been in PBW for three months, I've fought and won countless matches, and now in week one of season two in PBW I'm finally receiving my title shot.

Am I pissed off? A little bit, but I've taken solace in the fact that this title shot I am receiving is for a much better prize than the title I made famous in Majestic. Let's not beat around the bush here, in Majestic I was a living legend. Did I ever hold the World title there? No. So how did I become such a legend? How was I the instant hall of famer? I did it like this. In my second week I became the first ever Lionheart Champion. About a month later I became the first ever two-time Lionheart Champion. Then I found myself as the longest reigning Lionheart Champion ever, Nathan Kaye has since taken that record but at the end of the day who will remember Nathan Kaye? Exactly, no one will. At the end of the day Majestic fans will always remember who Kenny Turner was. They'll remember how brave he fought, how courageous he was. But most of all, they'll remember how great of a champion he was.

What does this all say? Am I still in Majestic? No. Do the folks in PBW care about Majestic? I think not. Everything I've just said, it all just goes to show one thing, how much smarter the head of Majestic was than the head of PBW is. You see, Kenny Turner is instant ratings boost. I can get it done in the ring, oh that's no secret to anyone in PBW so far. I can entertain a fucking crowd. They'll boo at the very mention of the first syllable in my name but be damn sure that they are going to buy a fucking ticket to do it. I am ratings, I am tickets, I am money... That's what those fuck-ups in the PBW front office can't seem to comprehend. They saw what I did as the Lionheart title holder in Majestic, they saw the ratings boost, but they decided to wait this long to give me a shot at a title in PBW? Fucking idiots.

Now what I'm sure everyone is thinking is, "Kenny, didn't you get a title shot at the PBW Camraderie Championships?" I'll give that one a good laugh. Kenny Turner, here's your reward for everything you do in the ring, here's a fucking tag team title shot. Bravo! What genious thought of that bullshit? Let's give the greatest individual wrestler on our roster a fucking shot at some peice of shit tag titles. No wait, I've got a better idea. Let's make him win those titles alongside a selfish un-cooperative pig like Shorty Junior. The kid has decent talent, I've came to the realization long ago, but did anyone actually think that me and him could function as a tag team? I'm sure we could have won those titles, hell I almost got us there by carrying the team on my back, but in the end I didn't want those titles. Why? Because they aren't real titles. To tag your buddy in when you get tired and beat down does not warrant championship gold, it warrants a pacifier and a bib cause quite frankly those are kids games. I played tag when I was a kid, I'm up to par on that game. Clauson and Jenova, have fun with your tag titles, it's always fun to watch the children at play. Tag your it!

I can't complain too much over the last pay-per-view. Sure I was stuck wrestling in a tag match while some no-talent garbage by the name of Logan Quicksilver was battling Pestilence for the Legacy Championship, but I had a little victory of my own that night. I got my hands on Shorty Junior and I beat the brakes off his ass from one side of Hong Kong to the other side of Tokyo. At the end of the night we both ended up in the same place, prison, but I had a victory and he didn't. I settled the score with Shorty Junior. We fought twice before that, one win for each of us. Then Shorty got on his fucking pedestal when he won the Majestic Championship, thought he was so much better than me. I had to listen to all those little remarks, "All you've got is records for holding a beginners title, I'm a world champion blah blah." It goes to show just how much that championship meant, he couldn't stand toe to toe with me any day of the week and I proved that at Fight for Greatness.

Where is Shorty Junior now? Gone... Exactly what I expected. I haven't seen the kid since I whooped his ass... big surprise there. Just like when I became number one contendor for the Lionheart Championship, where did he go? He begged Alloco and Drachewych to send him to Majestic to get out of the crossfire. He got his way, much like any whore, if you suck enough dick your bound to get a few things coming your way. I'm over Shorty now, I've past that point in my career. Past the point where I have to prove to some ignorant peice of shit that I'm better than him because in reality, don't we all know it?

It seems I've gotten a little off-topic so what's my point? I guess I have none. No reason left to fight on here in PBW. I've completed what I've set out to do, I've destroyed Shorty Junior. So from here, I guess I just have to call it quits... Who am I fucking kidding? I've got a damn Legacy title shot this week. Granted it's not at a pay-per-view, they give me a title shot at a weekly Shockwave event but what can you do? At least they've woken up, opened their eyes to who the real superstar is here in PBW. It's not Pestilence, that's for sure. I can sit and wonder why she got a title shot before me but the only conclusion I can draw up is that whores sell tickets, it's pretty simple. Sex, or the closet thing you have to sex, sells.

I won't lie, Pestilence beat me the first time around. Does that mean anything to me? Not really. Last time we met I can't say I cared too much to win that match, after all, why would I? To say I got a victory? Whoop-dee-fucking-doo! We all know that I lost that match because Shorty interfered but like I said, who cares, it was a non-title match. This time is different, this is for the Legacy Championship. Pestilence has had her slutty fingers on that title for too long, it's time for a new champion to reign supreme. We all knew Logan couldn't get the job done. That guys good for a flip off the turnbuckle and a pop from the audience, who really expects him to win big matches though? Twain Philips... Fucking joke if I've ever seen one. Did anyone expect him to quit boning his three ugly ass wives for one second to win the Legacy title? From what I can see, Pestilence has been handed these wins. She's been handed the Legacy title and she's been handed free passes to defend it. What's next? Pestilence versus Darren Romeo at the next pay-per-view? I'll just be glad that match won't be for the Legacy Championship seeing as how that title will be in my hands by then.

I'm declaring PBW Season Two the season of The Crossfire, will you get caught in the middle?


"Come on Alice, stop being a bitch for once in your life."

The words came out of my mouth as I sat across from Alice inside a local cafe in Los Angeles.

"Oh, so let's just ass verbal abuse on top of physical abuse," she said with an annoying smirk on her face. She was playing the good girl bit again and it was starting to piss me off.

"You can throw that whole phyisical abuse bullshit out the window!" I shouted at her, this caused some people seated nearby to glance at us for a couple of seconds before returning to what they were doing. "I didn't hit you Alice."

"That doesn't matter," she replied. I've become quite used to this response by now, it was clear she was out to screw me either way.

"It does fucking matter!" I screamed back at her causing her to become a little intimidated. "Besides Alice, just how in God's name do you plan to prove to the police that I hit you when you waited six months to report this? There's no markings on you Alice, no bruises whatsoever."

She reclined back in her seat and crossed her arms, she looked like she had it all figured out in her twisted little mind.

"That promo..." she began.

I cut her off, "That promo doesn't mean shit! It was a promo for a wrestling match, it was just to put on a show and get a reaction out of my opponent and the crowd. It means absolutely nothing!"

She quickly laughed and then shook her head in disgust.

"Listen Kenny, how about you stop cutting me off and let me finish my sentence before you get all defensive. Now look Kenny, you did that promo where you act out beating on me and then regretting it. Your a fucking redneck Kenny, what group of people is know for beating on women? Not to mention the fact that before you left to Japan you spent about the last three months of your life gambling away every dollar and possession you had left. Redneck wrestler with a gambling addiction beats up on his girlfriend... Does that sound too farfetched to you?"

I was still full of anger, but as I leaned back in my chair I began to see the whole thing clearly. This was all a game to her, nothing more than a giant life-sized chessboard. Nevertheless she had me pinned down, no doubt she had this whole thing well planned out before she got here. I could contest it, but in the end everything pointed in favor of her. The dirty little whore had turned another trick.

I leaned forward now with my hands on the table and then calmly tried to reason with her. "Fine Alice, what is it that you want?"

She grinned now, realizing that she had defeated me and was going to get her little way. "All I want Kenny is some money. Not that much, just enough to wear I don't have to live in an apartment in my dad's apartment complex."

"Two words... FIND JOB!" I said with an obvious angry stare directed at her. She just stared back with her nose in the air, I never realized just how snobby rich kids and gold diggers could be. "Look Alice, the only source of income I had right now is PBW and I can't give you that because the truth is I'm not even getting that check myself."

"Who is getting that check Kenny?" she asked. "Are you helping pay for the casino workers to get new uniforms? Look Kenny, I'm through with playing with you. If I don't see a check in the mail by next week then I'm taking you to court."

I stood up, too infuriated to even look her in the eyes. I didn't know what I was going to do, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and this wasn't going to be an easy situation fix.