Maths is simpler
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: secrets -grinspoon
If only people were like equations, put in the right value and get the right responce. I guess then it woudl be to easy. I mean people are like patterns. i guess, they just keep reacting the same way to teh same stimuli over and over again untill they finally learn to adapt. This may take years even.

Maybe i just adapt faster than most. i dont know. Been programming maths equations in C. And its reassuring to know that they actually work teh first time. A little artisty goes along way in the world of science, well i think anyway.

Killing time killing time. Twittering in the back of my head all these what ifs, so easily shut out of a program yet so hard to shut out of a mind. :et them dance around in here long enougha nd you might be lucky enough to loose your mind and ennd up in one of those nice padded cells thier always talking about lol. Nah hold onto your wits i say, much more fun.

Another hot day, i hope that cyclone, whatsitsname comes down here soon and dumps an unholy amount of rain and coolness on us. Woudl be nice to not wake up in a bath of my own sweat, im sure you agree. Youd have to be a strange sort of person not to.

Sometimes i wonder if i really have grown at all in the last 5 years. Certainly my body has gotten bigger, stronger, more manlike. But has my mind followed suit? or has it held onto its innocence to teh point of breaking itself trying to fit into that old mold.

I guess the question is was i ever innocent to begin with.. im sure i have answered that many times over but hey once more isnt gunna do much. Some woudl say yes, i mean can an infant be anything more than innocent? a developing mind with no idea of good and evil.

i read today on one of those many indexing sites around, tagged i think it was. I read a quote i put up there about 3 years ago. Or rather it feels liek 3 years but probably wasnt all that long ago. it read

" Im just that evil, or was it good. I cant tell teh two apart anymore"

well isnt that what innocence is? the inability to decern the difference between good and evil? More liekly the case is that these days good and evil have blended into a nice gray we can call Gil. Well i think Gil is a sutible name for the state of mind of most people these days.

Gil is human i guess. Well Humanity is the embodyment of Gil. Gil is being able to discern that good and evil are no longer applicable terms. Good and evil have become relative. Now its desired result. not whether the methods are logical or even sane. As long as the desired effect is produced the ends justify the means.

Some defy Gil and try, to use only "good" methods in getting thier desired effects. they are chewed up spat out an trampled on by the less scrupulous of the general public.

Maybe onday knowledge of Gil will become widespread and maybe then we will see a change.

Repetition
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Welcome -Slipknot
Mmkay, this has really got my goat, so to speak. Anyone else out there get the feeling thier just walkin in circles? Makin the same goddam mistakes over and over?

No? yes? I know i am, stuck in this rut they call "single life". That ache in your gut that tells you your all alone in the end. The same ache that rises to your throat every time you try to break its hold on you, turning you into that goofball, that funny guy, that freak. The total opposite to the you that you wanted to present to the person that you have interest in.

It pisses me off to no end, im the sweet one, the good friend, the bad drunk. GAH wont anyone just look and see whats really happnening? Or am i just so good at hiding these days that no one even notices anymore.

Eternally it seems i have teh answeres to other peoples problems, the right words, the right gesture. The shoulder to cry on, the hands to defend. And yet.... and yet even so that very same ache i cure in people every day, still rises up and destroys me.

Maybe there is a way around it, i dont know. Everyone says wait, everyone says she will come. Wait!, iv been waiting for aslong as i can remember. JUst trudging around in the same circle trying the same things over and over.

Well, i give up, fuck what everyone else thinks im gunna do things my way for once. A quiet smile, a kind word. For once ill just be me.

First blog
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: To the sea - Up all night
Well its another 40 degree day and thanks to some administrative bungle i have the morning off. Woot for ceremonies. I suppose i should introduce myself Im Glen "Insert random flavour of the moment nickname" Saunders. Im 17 and live in Perth Western Australia.

Im currently, well not currently as im typing this but you get the picture, attending Murdoch University doing a triple major of Games Technology, Computer Science and Multimedia information systems.

Boring life i hear you thinking. Well i guess it is, still we all have our little things that perk up every day. Some people have sports, others thier immutable social life. Me? Iv just got a bunch of alter egos floating around in the back of my head. If your lucky sometime in this blog youll meet them ( i pity those who do). But yeah i guess thats an into for ya.