Smile dammit Fate is watching
Mood:  vegas lucky
Now Playing: Humming an old tune i cant remember the name of
I apologize in advance for this post.
But it must be said.

Swallow me up, and spit me out.
A tool that must be used and reused.
To form and to make.
To give life, and shape it.

Just an artifice, a ploy of a higher power.
Human none the less, alive despite itself.
broken and fractured
purposeful until the end.

cast off the past, the mistakes, the futility,
smile
look to the future
to what is needed, what allows us to do what is needed.

you speak of destiny and of fate
and of things carved in flesh and stone.
i speak of fluidity and adaptability
of things that fit and yet retain what they once were.

of fractured minds
of lost egos
of stray thoughts
of unending pasts

smile, hug back

i may not be right
i may very well wrong
but i survive none the less
and you can too

in love i live
in loneliness i die
casting off the pretense of existence
i am

and so you can be too
in love
in knowledge
casting off the shackles of fate for a better plan

together we can remake the bracelets of happiness

and live,
and feel,
love and be.

trust me
trust us
time passes
we learn and grow

i ask this not for myself
but on your behalf
i entreaty you
i offer a way out


the past and the future collide in the present. this chaos that is all around us ... that the awakened see the sleepers dream and the wakers are bound to. Countless players in countless games, a facilitator for them all a judge jury Saviour and executioner. A practitioner of the ancient life. Of the water and the ice. The sun and the wild fire, of the sand and the earthquake, of the breeze and the cyclone.

A balance that is neither everything or nothing. An anomaly's existence that defies the logic of all. Such are the curses laid on some. On souls few and far between that gather when there is work to be done.

Work? Fayts work, the long games. That span not days or months but Milena. Poor souls recycled for their native abilities and forced time and time again to submit to the will of Fayt. Fractured minds, broken hearts and shattered souls, this is the legacy of man, a legacy stretching back farther than any care to remember.

And comes again a lifetime of gathering, of meeting old friends, and enemies. Brothers and sisters, sons daughters and creations. They all dace to the will enacted through the anomaly, yet they do not know it.

Freedom is a delusion, salvation is meaningless unless you do it yourself. There is no back up, there is no cavalry, no god mode, no infinite ammo, there is just us. We do what we can to save who we can. Will can be twisted, so that it can be fulfilled but not at the original cost that Fayt has asked.

Those who know, of what and whom i speak will understand what i say here. Those of you who don't, count yourself lucky. That you need not dace to another's harp.

A week of silence, as the thoughts slowly dribble into place. As events shape and reshape the thing i call reality. A revelations and remembrances twist the future just as they twist the past.

I IMPLORE YOU look to the future and see what needs to be done. Some asked who it is i love, they of all should know who that is. For i am here solely for them. And those who see, what others do not, should refrain so as not to cause discord in our daces.

For those dear to my heart, i will protect you as best as i am able, from the ravages that roam this world. As a wise, wonderful man once told me. "If it needs to be done, Do it and don't ask for a reward." And so i follow his advice. I will do what is needed to bring this to the right end. Not THE END just an end, an end to this dance. A happy ending, of love and joy and wisdom.

For those who don't indulge in my madness this is just a declaration of a mundane variety made by a lovesick lonely boy. You need not delve into what is written here for it would more than likely make no sense.

Within me an energy is waking, i feel alive for the first time in three years. On one hand, there stands five, and i am on my fifth, on the other stands three, and i am on my third.

You who are broken like me. You are to me like a precious comrade. I want to give you what you want, to give you eternity and forever a love that will not damn you, as is etched into your hands. To break these predictions and twist the will of fate so that there is no loss, only, in our eyes gain. Let Fayt have her price, and let her price be our gain.

I type these words in the hope that you may read them and know who and what i speak of, and to those whom this message is not intended, enjoy a glimpse into my madness.