Mood:
suaveNow Playing: Roll on - Greenday
Saw Hot Fuzz today, bloody good. Emphasis on the bloody, jeebus even my mind aint that bad.
I guess even when people change they still stay the same, i mean thier face may change, thier pattern grow more complex but they still react the same.
Its interesting to see, as people from my past pop up everywhere around me people from even before the time i became a critical perciever. I find that the people i knew before i woke up, are even easier for me to predict that those that became my past after i woke up.
Maybe i have always been a CP (critical perciever) just that before i woke up, it was a subconcious act. Still i remember back before i woke up, the whispers were there, but indefinite from my own voice. I remember some of the fights of my youth, where it seemed that my arms and legs moved on thier own accord. So did my mind in those times pasts and futures blured in those moments and from it was born my love of sparing with people.
People think its strange that i distinguish fighting and hurting. But for me the seperation is clear, to loose yourself in a challenge to strip yourself down to the wire and fight, to cut all the crap out of your mind and body and just exist in a state of constant flux. Even if its just for a moment, its is the most wonderfull of feelings. BUt to hurt, to kill, those things destroy the predator just as it destroys the prey.
Its the same opposition as the CP's and the Programmers. To enjoy finding and reading the pattern loosing yourself to the complexity of someone else, is a wonderfull feeling. But destroying or changing that is abhorrent.
To experience, is joy. To live is to be in a state of flux. To kill is to die yourself. These things allow me to appreciate the sunset, the blade of grass, the computer game, the softness of anothers skin, the scent of them as they walk away, not knowing that your heart soars for the mere presence of that smell.
These are things that define me. I recognise them and accept them as truth for myself.