Power of Two
Disclaimer: We all know that they don't belong to me, and I promise to put them back when I'm done. The song Power of Two is copyright by The Indigo Girls.
Despite having fought so hard to get the X-files back, even continuing to investigate them on his own time, Mulder couldn't muster up any enthusiasm now that they were his again. He could follow up on any case that interested him, Scully sometimes almost believed he actually knew what he saw with his own eyes, Skinner gave them as much leeway as he could, but it wasn't enough. He'd encountered aliens, seen their ship, but no one believed him, and he still woke up alone every morning. No one had been beside him in bed since-- He cut the thought off ruthlessly. With a sigh, he grabbed his jacket and coat and headed down to the garage. He almost wished he'd taken Scully up on her dinner invitation when she left hours earlier.
Mulder was almost at his car when one of the shadows moved, stepping forward into the light where Mulder could see silky, sable hair; small, slightly pointed ears; a jaw covered with stubble; full, pink lips; a frivolous, little nose; luxuriant lashes; and piercing, green eyes that still seemed to see straight to his soul.
For once the younger man wasn't pointing a gun at him, so Mulder shrugged mentally and continued toward his car without another word.
"Do you remember," Krycek's voice stopped his slow steps, "the night I came to tell you about the captured rebel at Weikamp? Do you remember when we were partners?"
Mulder bit down on his lower lip to prevent himself from speaking.
"Of course you do. That eidetic memory of yours never forgets anything. I don't have a memory like that, but I still remember that sound you used to make. I remember your taste, your smell, how you felt when I was inside you, like tight, hot velvet. I remember how it felt when you were inside me and you kissed me." He met Mulder's eyes unflinchingly, and the older man was stunned by the naked pain in that green gaze. He took a step forward, stopping when Krycek flinched in anticipation of a blow.
"What do you want from me, Krycek? Yes, I remember all that. I also remember my father, and Melissa Scully, and Scully, and who knows how many others. I remember Skyland Mountain and Hong Kong and Tunguska. What the fuck do you want from me?" Despite his words Mulder's voice never varied from a flat monotone, as if he were too weary even to raise his voice.
Krycek smiled bitterly. "I want my soul back, Mulder. You claimed me, and then you threw me away, but you never really let me go."
"You betrayed me!" For the first time, emotion colored Mulder's words.
Alex winced and nodded unhappily. "It was already too late when I met you, Mulder. I was already in way over my head; I just didn't know it yet. And when I did, I couldn't give you up."
"So you fucked me, and then you tried to destroy me!"
"I never hurt you! I couldn't."
Rather than returning to the usual round of accusations, Mulder stared mutely. He silently damned Krycek for making him remember. He'd gotten good at blocking out those memories; sometimes he could go almost an entire day without thinking about him. He groaned.
Mulder again focused on Krycek, who hadn't moved while he was lost in thought. He reached for him, ignoring his slight flinch, grabbing hold of the front of his leather jacket and yanking.
Krycek hadn't expected that, so he fell forward, off balance, landing against Mulder. Now Mulder had him by the back of the neck, holding him still while he plundered Krycek's mouth. Krycek clutched him convulsively, whimpering as he tasted again what he'd thought forever lost. When Mulder finally released him, he remained where he was, leaning on Mulder. He buried his face in Mulder's throat, not wanting to see the anger he was sure would be in the once-loving hazel gaze.
Mulder stood rigidly for a moment longer, then sighed and wrapped his arms around Krycek, holding him tightly. "You're right," he said softly, "I never could completely let you go. You're mine.
"But if you hurt me or my family or friends again," his voice lowered to a menacing hiss, "I'll kill you myself."
Krycek nodded, tightening his arms around Mulder's waist.
"Hey! Your arm!"
Krycek held his left arm up, showing the new prosthesis. "One good thing I got from my association with the Consortium. It's a hell of a lot better than that first one I got in Russia."
Mulder inspected it closely, nodding when Krycek demonstrated its flexibility.
"So now what, Mulder? Where do we go from here?"
Mulder sighed. "You go nowhere."
"Nowhere, Alex. Either you swear to me right now that you'll stay with me, or we can just forget this. It's not like there's anything left of the Consortium to call you away."
Krycek chewed on his lip for a moment, then nodded. He didn't know why he even hesitated. Every time he tried to leave Mulder, he ended up right back beside him again. It was almost laughable. "Okay, Mulder, you got yourself a pet. Just don't forget to feed and take me for walks occasionally."
"Now seriously, what now? In case you've forgotten, we're standing in the parking garage of the FBI building. I'm not exactly welcome around here. I disabled the cameras covering this area while I was waiting for you, but someone's bound to notice soon."
Mulder nodded and unlocked his car, motioning to Krycek to get in. Alex stopped him with a light touch on his arm.
"My car is just over there," nodding toward a shadowy corner.
"You want to follow me home?"
"No, I want you to come with me," he hesitated nervously. "I have stuff in the trunk. I sort of had plans for this weekend."
Mulder eyed him suspiciously. "Plans?"
Krycek swallowed hard. "I, uh, intended to take you away for the weekend."
"You meant to kidnap me?!" Mulder cut right to the point.
Krycek winced. "I wasn't going to hurt you," he protested.
"We are going to have to have a talk about these criminal tendencies of yours, Alex," Mulder responded mildly, already walking toward Krycek's car. He stopped beside the passenger door, looking back inquiringly at Krycek, who still hadn't moved.
Alex shook his head in bemusement before pushing the control to unlock the doors and joining Mulder in the car. "What, no argument about me driving?"
Mulder shrugged. "You know where we're going."
Alex smiled, knowing that Mulder was dying of curiosity but would tear out his own heart before asking. "You do too, actually. I made reservations at that old inn we used to like to go to."
Mulder instantly knew the place Krycek was referring to, and a smile broke across his face. They were going to have to talk at some point, but it looked like they would be able to relax for a while first. He reached forward to switch on the CD player, curious to see what Alex was listening to these days. The younger man always had a tape or CD ready to play in his car. He burst into laughter when he heard the soundtrack from Dangerous Liaisons. "Trying to tell me something, Alex?" he chuckled.
Alex smirked. "I couldn't resist. Although when I pictured this moment, you were a little more mussed up, and you were cuffed." He licked his lips at the memory.
"So you like me restrained, do you?"
Alex offered a small smile.
"Maybe later, once we're in our room with the door locked."
Alex's breath caught in his throat when Mulder told him that he trusted him enough to let him restrain and control him. Even after Mulder got in the car of his own free will, he hadn't dared hope for that much faith in him.
Mulder heard and understood the other man's reaction. He reached over, placing a hand on Alex's knee. "If this is going to work, we can't hold back, babe. I have to trust you and believe that you won't ever give me another reason to regret it."
Alex's smile in return was shaky, and he covered the hand on his knee with his own for a split second before returning it to the wheel.
Mulder took his hand away to switch the CD off and the radio on, flipping through stations until he hit a song that Alex started to sing along with. He smiled and put his hand back on Alex's leg, a little higher this time.
By the time they got to the country inn, Alex was in a state of meltdown. Mulder had never stopped touching him the entire time, and he was afraid that he would come the minute they really got started. He hissed when Mulder stroked his cock again as he turned off the car.
"Mulder, stop, dammit! I'm not going to be able to walk in there."
Mulder just laughed, but he did take his hand away after one final caress.
Alex groaned and leaned his head back against the seat, breathing heavily as he tried to calm down. After a minute he turned to face Mulder with a wry grin. "Come on, let's get the bags and get inside before I take you right here."
Alex hastily got out of the car before he did something he wouldn't regret but which would get them arrested for public indecency. He headed around back to the trunk with Mulder following curiously. He reached inside and pulled out a miniature cooler, which he handed to Mulder, who raised quizzical brows. "Just carry the damn thing," he instructed as he reached in for a small suitcase then closed the trunk.
The two men entered the lobby of the inn where they were greeted with a glad cry by the elderly man at the desk. "Fox, Alex, it's good to see you again. It's been a long time."
Alex blinked and stared at the floor.
Mulder smiled back at the man. "We didn't think you'd remember us, Irving. As you say, it has been a long time. Our jobs have prevented us from getting away, but hopefully that's all a thing of the past."
"I do hope so, boys. Life is too short to allow work to interfere with the more pleasurable pursuits. When I saw the name on the reservation, I hoped it might be you, so I reserved your usual room. You've missed dinner, but I'm sure Sarah could find something in the kitchen for you."
"Thanks, but we knew we'd be late, so we brought something with us." Alex nodded at the cooler Mulder held.
"Ah, that's all right then. Well, I'll bid you a good night then, and we'll see you at breakfast in the morning. I'm sure Sarah will make your favorite blueberry pancakes, Fox, when she hears that you are here."
"I'll be looking forward to it," Mulder smiled. "Good night, Irving." He and Alex headed up to their room, both smiling.
Once inside with the door locked, Alex sat on the side of the bed. "I didn't realize how much I'd missed this place and Irving and Sarah until just now." He couldn't look at Mulder as he asked, "You never came back here either?"
Mulder came to stand in front of him, a hand curling under his chin to raise his face until their eyes met. "No, I couldn't come here without you. This was our place, and it would have hurt too much."
"I love you, Fox." Alex dared to say the words he hadn't uttered for four years, praying that Mulder wouldn't throw them back in his face.
Mulder froze, remembering the last time he heard that voice saying those words to him, remembering the moment he found those damning Morley butts in the ashtray, remembering every encounter between them over the last few years. If he wanted to make Alex pay for everything he'd done, he'd never have a better opportunity than this. It was clear in his voice that he meant his words, and Mulder knew that to reject him would probably break something inside him permanently.
Alex stared at him fearfully, waiting for his reaction. He could feel himself grow cold as the silence stretched on, and his eyes closed.
"I love you too."
His eyes flew open. Had he imagined it? No, Mulder was standing in front of him, his eyes trained on his face, a small, expectant smile curling his lips. Alex released his breath in a long sigh of relief, only then realizing that he'd been holding it. He stood up into his Fox's arms, and when they wrapped around him, he felt as if he'd come home.
Alex clung to Mulder, finally starting to really believe that it was over, that they were together again. "I'll never leave you again," he vowed.
"Better not. I'm not going to let you go." Mulder claimed his mouth, not fiercely as Alex half expected, but tenderly, trying to show his love. Slowly, they moved together, hands exploring old, familiar territory, clothes being pushed aside and discarded.
Once they were naked, Alex stood nervously, waiting for Mulder's reaction to his maiming. He was afraid that the ugliness of it would drive Fox away, and he couldn't meet the older man's eyes. Mulder could see and feel Alex's tension, and he knew exactly what was causing it. Knowing that actions would speak far louder than words, he lowered his head and placed a gentle kiss on the scarred stump above the prosthesis. Alex gasped and suddenly slumped in his arms, tears streaming down his face.
Mulder reached up to wipe the tears away. "Don't, baby. How could this make any difference to how I feel about you? I love you. I'm just sorry that this happened to you because of me. I know you'd never have been there if I hadn't brought you."
"No, it's not your fault! I knew where you were going, and I purposely yelled at you in Russian so you'd take me along. I didn't want you going there alone."
"Maybe so, but I doubt you expected to lose a limb over it."
Alex shrugged. "Of course not, and I hate it. But I'd do the same thing if I had to do it again." He kissed Mulder again, this time rubbing against him as he did.
Mulder gasped at the feeling of Alex's body against his. He'd been dreaming of this ever since Alex had left. He pulled Alex closer, grinding their erections together, pulling gasps out of both of them. He backed Alex over to the bed and pushed him down flat, staring down at him as he lay sprawled before him like a prize. Alex reached up, wanting to pull him down too, but Mulder swatted his hand away. Alex lowered it to the bed, staring up with dismay on his face. He obviously thought Mulder was changing his mind or had been lying to him for revenge.
Mulder swooped down for a quick but thorough kiss. When he straightened up again, he smiled at Alex. "This time, babe, we're doing it my way. You are going to lie there and do everything I tell you and nothing that I don't."
Alex whimpered, his cock twitching against his belly.
"You said that you belong to me. Well, I'm going to make sure that you don't ever forget it again. You are never going to leave me again."
Alex stared up at him, green eyes wide and dilated. He managed a tiny nod, then lay still, waiting for Mulder's orders.
"No matter what, you don't come till I tell you, Alex, you got that?" He barely waited for the faint "yes" before continuing, "Okay, get up on your knees facing me." He waited till Alex was in position. "Good boy. Now kiss me." He didn't lean down at all, so Alex had to strain to reach his mouth, but he managed it. He stroked his tongue over Fox's lips, tempting them to open and allow him inside. When they parted, Alex's tongue darted between them to reach Fox's, twining around it, stroking over the hard surfaces of his teeth and the sensitive roof of his mouth. He desperately wanted more of Fox, but he remembered his orders and didn't try to touch any more of him. Finally, when Alex thought he might pass out from lack of air, Mulder pulled away, letting Alex kneel back down.
Mulder petted Alex's head approvingly, feeling Alex lean into the touch. "Now, play with yourself, Alex. Touch yourself; show me what you want me to do to you. Just don't come, or I won't touch you tonight."
Alex's eyes darted to Mulder's already dripping cock, obviously doubting that Mulder could just stop. Mulder tapped an admonishing finger under his chin. "I didn't say I wouldn't come, babe, just that I wouldn't touch you. If you come before I say you can, I'll bring myself off in front of you, but I won't touch you or let you touch me."
Alex nearly bit through his lip.
"Now put on a show for me, baby. Make me so hot and hard that I have to have you, that I can't wait another second." He laughed harshly. "You know it's what you want."
A faint moan escaped Alex, but he took a deep breath and started. He knew that this was going to be hard since Fox had gotten him so excited on the drive down here that he was ready to come at the slightest stimulation. But the thought of having to watch Fox without touching or tasting him made him determined to do exactly as he was told. He knew this was his punishment for leaving Fox four years ago. The older man had been content to let him take the lead when they first became lovers but obviously had different plans this time around.
Alex drew both hands up his sides, squirming as he did so, bringing them up to his chest. He stroked the muscles there, occasionally running one hand as far down as his belly, hips thrusting when he did. He slowly rubbed his nipples, biting down savagely on his lip when he did.
"I want to hear you, Alex. I want to hear every gasp and moan and whimper. Give them to me, baby."
The words alone pulled another gasp from Alex, and then he stopped trying to hold back. He'd done this so many times since the last time he left Fox's bed. He didn't think he'd come once since then, whether alone or with someone else, that he hadn't imagined Fox touching him, Fox loving him. It was easy for him to sob Fox's name softly as he touched himself. He rolled the hardened pebbles of his nipples roughly between thumbs and forefingers, pinching down harder with the prosthetic limb, making himself cry out and arch up. He pinched and pulled and scratched with his nails, lost in the painful pleasure, but never forgetting that this time Fox was there with him, watching him. He forced his eyes open to meet that heated hazel gaze, letting Mulder see his pleasure, his total abandon.
Mulder could barely prevent himself from pouncing on Krycek and fucking him raw that instant. But he had to make sure that Alex knew they belonged together, make sure that he never had to wake up alone again. "Come on, baby," he encouraged.
Alex lowered his hand to his cock, lightly stroking it, not daring to do more or he would come. He feathered his fingers along the length, staying away from the sensitive head, then reached lower to his sac. He nearly came off his knees when he cupped the sensitive balls, a wild groan escaping him to echo in the room. Mulder couldn't resist leaning down to seize his mouth in a possessive kiss, claiming him, branding him as his own. Alex moaned into Mulder's mouth, squirming under his own touch.
"God, you're beautiful, Alex," Mulder whispered reverently. "Prep yourself, babe. Get yourself ready for me."
Alex's eyes flew to Mulder's and stayed locked there while he slowly worked one finger inside himself, whining needfully at the sensation. Mulder pulled a tube of lube out of the bag Alex had packed and squeezed some onto Alex's offered fingers. Alex immediately brought those fingers back to his ass, applying the lube and stretching himself.
"Only two fingers, Alex, I want you to feel this for a while," Mulder ordered.
Alex smiled painfully and spoke for the first time since they'd begun. "I only intended to use two." He gasped and his hips jerked when his fingers stroked over his prostate. "Ple-ease, Fox. I need you!"
"Okay, babe, you've been good. You did exactly as I told you, so I'm gonna give you what you want." Mulder's voice was a husky rasp as he forced the words out through a throat constricted with lust. "Get down on all fours, Alex."
Alex immediately spun around so he was facing the head of the bed and dropped to his hands and knees. He couldn't prevent himself from thrusting his ass back at Mulder enticingly, but Mulder didn't mind. He climbed onto the bed behind his lover, positioned himself and rammed into Alex.
A scream of raw need mingled with hints of pain tore from the younger man's throat. Mulder stilled, not wanting to cause any real damage.
"Nooooo!" Alex wailed. "Don't stop, fuck me hard! Please, Fox," he begged.
When he heard Alex begging, Mulder released all control and began to slam into him as hard and fast as he could, trying to release all the pain and anger of the past few years at once. He could hear Alex sobbing, but he was still pushing back into each thrust, demanding more. Mulder reached around to grasp Alex's cock, pumping it in time with his thrusts, making Alex desperate to come.
"Please, Fox, please let me come! I need to come, baby, please..." his voice trailed off into one long whine of desperate need.
Mulder moved even harder, impossible as that seemed. "Okay, Alex, come now, come with me." He bit down into Alex's shoulder as the pleasure exploded through his body, making him push even deeper inside Krycek. Alex screamed as he came, his semen spurting out over Mulder's hand and his belly for what seemed an eternity. Not since the last time they'd been together had either man felt such satisfaction.
Mulder let himself collapse over Alex, pressing the other man into the mattress. He stayed on top of him, inside him until his cock softened and slipped out, and only then rolled off Alex's back to lie beside him. He gathered Alex up in one arm, pulling him to his side where Alex nestled close, his head on Mulder's shoulder, and one arm and a leg thrown over him. Mulder reached down to the floor without disturbing the other man and grabbed a T-shirt which he used to wipe Alex clean before they both fell asleep, secure in each other's embrace.
Hours later, Alex was woken from a sound sleep by Mulder's screams. He jerked upright, switching on the light on the nightstand. He immediately realized that Mulder was having a nightmare, something he remembered from before, though Fox had been having them less and less frequently during the time they were lovers. It broke his heart to think that the night demons had come back after he was gone and Fox had had to face them alone. He stroked Mulder's cheek soothingly, murmuring his name till Mulder woke up, terrified hazel eyes focusing on green. Mulder let out a choked cry of Alex's name and lunged forward to bury his face in Alex's lap, his arms wrapped tightly around the other man's waist.
Before Alex could say anything, he was distracted by pounding on the door. "Fox? Alex? Are you all right?" Irving's frightened voice sounded through the door.
"Yes, we're fine," Alex called. "Fox just had a nightmare. I'm sorry we disturbed you."
"Are you sure? Do you need anything? A glass of warm milk? Some brandy?"
Fox sniffed. "No, I don't need anything, thanks, Irving. I'm sorry I bothered you." His voice shook despite his best efforts.
"Never you mind about disturbing us, young man! You just take care of whatever it is that's bothering you. You get some rest, and we'll see both of you at breakfast." His footsteps receded down the hall, and they could hear him calming the excited voices of the other guests.
Alex had never stopped stroking the soft brown hair in his lap. "Was it the old dream about Samantha's kidnapping, Fox?"
Fox shook his head. "No, it started that way, but when the body was floating into the light, going where I knew I'd never find her again, suddenly it wasn't Samantha anymore; it was you. And I knew I'd lost you forever." He sobbed, burying his face in Alex's belly.
Alex froze, shocked that Fox was more distraught over his imagined disappearance than he'd ever been over his sister's. What did I do to you, Fox? "Don't cry, baby, I'm here. I'm right here with you, and I'm not going anywhere. I know that you have no reason to believe me, but I promise you, I will never leave you again. We're together, and I won't ever lie to you or let anyone else hurt you again. They can't hurt us anymore, Fox, as long as we trust each other. And I'll help you find out once and for all what happened to your sister. I love you, Fox." His voice begged Mulder to believe him.
Mulder raised his head, tears still caught in his lashes. He stared at Alex with heartbreaking directness. "But they won't let you go easily. You know that, Alex. How many times have you tried to get away only to be nearly killed and dragged back? For god's sake, they abandoned you in a missile silo! And look at Spender! He tried to get away, and they shot him right in the damned Hoover Building! Hell, for all I know, his own father shot him!"
"Mulder, even if they kill me, I'd rather die working with you than against you. But I'm not going to die. Look how many times they've tried to kill me, and I keep bouncing back. As for Spender and the others, they were young. They let themselves believe all the bullshit, just like I did at first. But I know better now. They can't catch me that way. I don't want to play their games anymore; I just want to be with you.
"Hell, that smoking bastard offered me his son. Told me I could teach the kid what he needed to know, and his body would be my payment. He said that Jeffrey was so desperate for affection that if I took him under my wing, he'd be mine, body and soul." He ignored the choking sound from Mulder. "But I knew that wouldn't be fair to either of us. I'd just be using the kid, which wouldn't give him what he needed, and he could never be you for me. I was already tired of pretending.
"I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, most of the things that hurt you. I'm sorry about your father, and Scully and so much else..." His voice broke when he saw the fresh tears brimming in Mulder's eyes. "But I love you; you have to believe that, and if you'll let me, I'll stand beside you no matter what." He stared into Mulder's eyes, willing him to believe. Until that day he'd thought that he was lost, that he could never redeem his life, but when Mulder said that he still loved him, he knew that it wasn't too late. He stood on the brink of freedom, needing only Mulder's love to set him free.
Mulder reached a trembling hand to cup Alex's jaw. "We are still going to have to talk about...things, but I believe you. I love you. I want you to stay with me. Help me stop them."
A blinding smile broke across Alex's face. "Whatever you want, Fox. Together. Forever."
Power of Two