A New Beginning
Orithain and Nicole S.
Disclaimer: They don't belong to us, they belong to Chris
Carter, 1013 Productions and Fox. Please don't sue us.
Mulder and Krycek emerged from the ship's hold to breathe in fresh air
for the first time in three weeks. The warm night air greeted them, and a
gentle breeze kissed their cheeks as they walked along the deck. The deck
was a bustle of activity, the ship's hands busy unloading the hold of its
cargo. Not wanting to prolong their stay, Mulder & Krycek silently
walked down the gangplank and off the ship.
They made their way down the dock, various other ships loading and
unloading cargo. When they had made their way through the cartons and
crates, they found themselves at a street with a church on the corner. Alex
stopped under a streetlight and got a piece of paper out of his bag. This
had directions and a map on it.
"We turn right and walk down this street two kilometers until we get
to a square. We meet our contact at a café called El Matador. That should
not be hard, hmmm?" He looked at Mulder who had an uncertain look on
"Hey," Alex grabbed Mulder's hand and squeezed it for a second
before letting go. "We are free. We have just begun a new life, don't
Mulder took a deep breath and smiled as cheerfully as he could back at
Alex. He didn't feel right, something was wrong. Still, he walked alongside
Alex, down the street to the square. People passed by them, enjoying a walk;
couples in love, basking in the night air. Mulder's head turned this way and
that, his heart racing. He was waiting for someone to stop them, to arrest
them for escaping.
Alex looked at his lover, noticing his distress. "Fox, are you
Mulder smiled weakly. I don't know where I am. This place is so
different, so foreign. What if the Nazis followed us here? What if the
Americans find me and arrest me for being a traitor? Mulder's breathing
began to quicken, and sweat formed on his brow.
Alex recognized his lover's anxiety, and led Mulder over to a bench
situated off the street. They sat down, and Alex took Mulder's hands in his
and turned to face him.
"Fox. Fox, look at me."
Mulder gulped a breath and looked into his lover's eyes. The light from
the streetlamps made them shine in the semi-darkness. He wanted to go back
to their house in Germany; things were good there; they should have never
escaped, they would have been safe; he was sure of that.
"Fox, I want you to calm down."
Mulder gulped air in again, beginning to hyperventilate.
Alex squeezed Mulder's hands and spoke calmly. "Fox, relax. If you
don't relax, you are going to pass out." Alex was shocked at Mulder's
reaction, though he hid it well. He'd known that he'd totally broken
Mulder's confidence as he had done to so many others over the years that he
was in charge of the prison, but this was the first time he had to face the
results of his actions. The fact that it was the man he loved falling apart
just from walking down a public street only made it harder for him.
Mulder nodded his head, and tried in vain to keep his breathing under
control. He concentrated on his breaths, making them deeper and lasting
"Good, good. Now close your eyes."
Mulder whimpered in panic and shook his head.
"Close your eyes, I won't let go of you." Mulder still
hesitated, terrified, and Alex whispered, "Trust me."
Mulder closed his eyes, but his breathing was still quick. He clenched
Alex's hands in his own, squeezing them so hard that they hurt.
"I want you to imagine a place. A place where only you can go to be
"C-c-can you be there too?"
"No. This is just your place. You can go there, and nothing will
hurt you." Alex had to struggle to keep his voice from breaking when
Mulder's question showed that despite everything he associated safety with
him. He vowed to undo what he had done and only prayed that Mulder would be
able to forgive him. He tried not to think about the possibility that a
strong, healthy Mulder might not want anything to do with him.
Mulder's breathing slowly started to ease.
"Now. You are in your place, your safe place. Do you like it, Fox?
Is it a nice place?"
"Yes. It's...it's warm and it feels good."
"Good. Now, I want you to slow your breathing and relax. Can you do
that for me, Fox?"
"Yes. I think I can." Mulder concentrated on breathing slowly
in his safe place. This was good. After a few minutes, he started to release
the deathgrip he had on Alex's hands.
"Relax, Fox. Relax your head, your neck, your shoulders. That's it.
Feel yourself relaxing. Your lungs are opening up, taking large, healthy
breaths of air, your back muscles are unwinding. Good, that's my Fox.
Nothing is going to hurt you. We are safe now, no one is going to harm
Mulder opened his eyes and looked at his lover. "Do you
"I promise." He squeezed Mulder's hands again before getting
out his handkerchief and wiping Mulder's face of sweat. He had never counted
on this, on Mulder being so afraid. He would have to work on that later.
"I'm...I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. We were walking
down the street, and then I just started feeling funny."
"It's to be expected, Fox. You have not been out in the world for
some time." Alex pushed a lock of hair back that had fallen forward
onto Mulder's forehead, pressing a quick kiss against the skin. "Do you
think you can continue? We do not have far to go. When we get to the café,
we will have some wine, hmmm?"
Mulder nodded, the sweat on his body starting to dry in the night breeze.
Slowly, they stood and continued their journey down the street. A few
minutes later, they reached the square and the café. They sat down, and a
waiter came over to their table. Alex ordered for them in flawless Spanish.
Mulder looked at his lover in awe; this man's talents never ceased to amaze
Alex fumbled for a cigarette, then offered one to Mulder.
"No thanks," he whispered. "Are you sure?"
Mulder nodded his head. He looked around. Argentina looked like a nice
place. Good looking people everywhere, strolling around without a care in
the world. It was hard to believe that war still raged across most of the
world. The waiter came with two glasses of red wine. Alex picked his up
right away and sipped it, his eyes closing for a minute.
"Mmmmmm, I've missed wine. Come, Fox, drink, it's very good."
Mulder reached out and brought the fragile glass to his lips, noticing he
was shaking slightly. He took a small sip of wine, then another.
"Well? Was I right?"
"Yes, it's very good."
"Are you sure you don't want a cigarette?"
"No, thank you."
Alex reached over and grabbed his hand again, stroking it with his thumb.
"I meant it when I said nothing can harm you here. We are an ocean away
from what we left behind."
Mulder wanted to believe Alex, but he still had a nagging suspicion in
the back of his mind that something was not right. They sat there, sipping
their wine, enjoying the night. Mulder was just starting to fully relax when
a man came to their table.
Alex stood and shook his hand. "Sir, so nice to see you again."
The man looked down at Mulder then back at Alex. "You have brought
someone with you?"
"Yes. I could not leave him behind."
Mulder's pulse began to quicken again as the man sat down and joined
them. He felt dizzy, and his breathing sped up.
"Fox?" Alex tightened his grip on Mulder's hand. "Fox, are
you not well?"
"I'm...I'm okay. It must be the wine; it's going to my head."
"Why don't you close your eyes for a moment and regain your
Mulder nodded and closed his eyes. He thought back to what Alex had said
earlier about his safe place. He imagined himself there, alone, at peace. He
felt warm and started to calm down.
"Is your friend all right, Alex?"
"Yes, he is just a little shaken from our journey, as am I. It was a
most -- eventful -- voyage, but he will be fine once he is rested."
"You should have told me you were bringing a companion, I would have
prepared documents for him."
"I am sorry, it was...we left in haste." Alex took a sip of his
wine to take the bitterness out of his mouth. He would never forgive himself
for almost leaving Mulder behind. He looked back up at his friend.
"Will it be any trouble to get him papers?"
"It should not be a problem, but it might take a few weeks."
"That will be more than adequate. Thank you."
The man slid two envelopes across the table to Alex. "One envelope
contains money, the other your papers. Your funds will be transferred from
the bank in Switzerland upon your request. The other envelope contains name
of the bank and the manager there. Do not talk to anyone else about your
Alex nodded his head.
"In the meantime, I have taken the liberty and booked you into a
suite at one of Buenos Aires' finest hotels. I will give you a few days to
rest, then I will have some houses for you to look at."
"Thank you again for all your help, I could have not done this
"That's what friends are for, Alex. I will, however, require a favor
next month. I have someone that will need a place to stay for a few
Alex nodded his head, "Yes, anything, just ask."
Mulder opened his eyes. He had missed the entire conversation, but he was
glad both men were smiling at each other.
Alex turned and smiled at his lover. "Ah, he is with us once
again." Taking Mulder's hand in his, Alex motioned from his friend to
Mulder and performed the introductions, "This is my lover, Fox Mulder.
Fox, an old friend of my father's, Malcolm Grey."
"It is an honor to meet you, Mr. Mulder." He reached across and
shook his hand. "I hope you enjoy your new home here in
"Thank you," Mulder said, his voice just above a whisper.
"Now, gentlemen, if you would gather your belongings and follow me,
I will take you to your hotel."
They followed the man with the silver hair and smooth voice to a grand
hotel. A red carpet stairway led to golden embossed doors, which were opened
by a doorman dressed in top hat and tails. This led to a large,
marble-floored lobby, laid with Persian rugs and expensive furnishings. The
warm red richness of mahogany was prevalent throughout, from the front desk
to the staircase banister. A young man sat at a grand piano in one corner,
playing to entertain the people as they came and went.
A lady in a fur coat, despite the heat, passed Mulder and Krycek, a man
behind her carrying a small poodle wearing a diamond-studded collar that
matched her bracelet. The other patrons of this establishment were also well
dressed, making Mulder feel like he was a pauper.
They checked in and went up to their suite, the decor was equally grand;
marble floors, Louis XIV furnishings, velvet draperies. If Mulder wasn't in
South America, he could have sworn that he was in one of the finest hotels
in Europe. The silver-haired man tipped the bellhop, who quickly left the
"I will leave you now. I shall call for you on Thursday, after you
have rested. Enjoy your stay, gentlemen."
Alex shook the man's hand again, "Thank you again, Uncle
"Again, it was my pleasure, Alex." The man turned and left,
shutting the door behind him.
Mulder stood in the middle of the room, unsure what to do next. He felt
Alex come up behind him and wrap his arms around him.
"We are finally alone." He kissed Mulder's ear. "We can do
whatever we want, whenever we want, and not worry about anyone, or
anything." He kissed Mulder's ear again, feeling the tension melt away
from his body with his kisses.
Mulder leaned his head back, nuzzling it into Alex's shoulder. "What
time is it? What day is it, for that matter?"
Alex laughed, "It is 9 in the evening, and it is Monday. Have you
made plans, already? Do you need to be somewhere?"
"No, I...I just wanted to know."
Alex turned Mulder around so he was facing him. He gave him a fierce hug
before letting him go. "I am going to call down for some supper. In the
meantime, why don't we have a bath? Alex's eyes glittered green in the glow
from the crystal chandelier.
Mulder couldn't hide his smile. He missed their nightly bath and what
followed it. His cock started to harden as he thought of their wet bodies
pressed against each other.
"Go start the bath; I will join you momentarily." Alex
playfully tapped Mulder on the ass as he walked by. He called down for
supper then joined Mulder, ensuring to tell the front desk to remind their
staff not to disturb him in the bath.
The bathroom was unlike any Mulder had seen in his life. It was as big as
a bedroom. A large, claw-footed bathtub with gold fixtures was in the middle
of the room. There was an ornately carved dressing table with lights around
the mirror nestled in a corner. A large, cushioned stool sat in front of it.
Jars of powder and perfumes sat atop the grand structure. Against a wall,
large towels were on a warming rack which also held robes and pajamas. A
crystal chandelier was overhead, casting a warm glow throughout the room.
Sheer draperies covered the window. Mulder stood there, staring at
everything until Alex came in to join him.
"It is nice, isn't it? Come, I have been thinking about a bath for
weeks." Alex strode over and started the taps, filling the large tub
with warm water. Soaps and small bottles of bath oil were held in a golden
basket along one side.
Mulder started undoing the buttons on his shirt. Suddenly, Alex's hands
joined his and took over the process.
Alex leaned in and kissed Mulder, his tongue probing inside his mouth.
His hands flew over the buttons on Mulder's shirt, making short work of
them. He pulled the shirt back and practically ripped off the undershirt he
was wearing and dove for the now exposed nipples with his mouth.
Mulder ran his hands down Alex's back and pulled his shirt off up, over
his head then undid Alex's trousers. Alex did the same and soon they were
naked, their heated skin rubbing against each other. Mulder molded his mouth
to Alex's, his hands wandering freely over his body, cupping his ass,
teasing his nipples. Soon, they were writhing against each other, the
friction of their bodies threatening to set the room on fire.
Suddenly, Alex stood back, "Wait, Fox, wait."
Mulder pulled back and stared at his lover as if he was mad.
"Let's get into the tub before the water gets cold."
Mulder smiled and followed Alex into the warm water. He found a sponge
alongside washcloths in a basket beside the tub. He held it under the water
for a minute to soften it, ran soap along it, then began the ritual he loved
so much. He washed his lover from head to toe, pausing to tease his nipples
and other sensitive parts of Alex's body. He paid special attention to his
cock, pulling the foreskin back and rubbing the sponge along the hard shaft.
"Oh, yes, Fox." Alex bit his lip. If he kept that up, he was
going to come. As if he heard his thoughts, Mulder moved the sponge down a
leg, cleaning and caressing all the way.
When Mulder was done, he surrendered the sponge to Alex, who began to do
the same to Mulder. He could see the passion rising in Mulder's eyes from
his caressing and rubbing the sponge along every inch of his body. Alex
could feel the pre-come start to come up out of his cock just from looking
He leaned forward and started kissing Mulder on the mouth, moving down to
his neck, lingering at his collarbone, marking him as his own. He then moved
lower, to Mulder's nipples again, which were hard and ready to be sucked on.
Mulder moaned and groaned, sloshing the water onto the marble floor as Alex
played with a nipple and sucked on the other.
"Alex...Alex...I..." Mulder let out a moan then a sigh. White
fluid began to show on the surface of the water.
"Are you a little sensitive, tonight, my love?" Alex stood,
reaching for his lover to stand with him.
Mulder stood and faced Alex. They got out of the tub, Alex pulling the
"I'm sorry," Mulder said as Alex handed him a towel.
"Nonsense. I take it as a compliment that I can make you feel so
good. Besides, I will have fun bringing you to the same satisfaction again
later. Although it may take longer. And that will be fun too." Alex
grabbed Mulder by the back of the head and brought him to kiss him once
Mulder smiled as he pulled away, but then noticed the state Alex was in.
"What about you?"
"What about me? I am fine."
"No, you're not." Mulder immediately sank to his knees and took
Alex's cock into his mouth. It did not take more than a couple of licks with
his tongue until his lover was shooting a hot stream of creamy fluid down
"I think we both needed that." Alex brought his love up to kiss
him, to taste himself on his lips. He smiled. "That made me very
hungry. Are you hungry, Fox?"
"Yes." Mulder's eyes were full of satisfaction and love; he
wanted Alex to throw him down and make love to him all night long.
Each of them toweled off, switching to towel each other off instead. When
their rubbing forced a moan from Mulder, Alex stood back and reached for a
robe. "We have to eat something," he laughed. He then moved closer
and kissed Mulder briefly. "I want to make love to you properly, in a
bed, then wake up with you in my arms." He did up the robe, a towel
around his neck to catch the drips from his hair.
Mulder let out a frustrated sigh but put a robe on just the same. Alex
was right, it would be better in a nice, soft bed. A flutter ran through his
stomach as he thought of waking next to Alex tomorrow, the next day, and the
day after that. He was so lucky he let him come with him to Argentina.
"Fox, are you coming?"
Mulder followed Alex into the living room, where a dining area was set
up. Candles glowed in the center, and a bottle of wine was open, breathing
the nighttime air. Bread was in a basket before them, and an assortment of
fruits and cheeses were laid out. They both sat as the table was set, across
from each other.
Mulder lifted the large silver dome that covered his food. When he saw a
bowl of soup in front of him, he frowned, then looked across to see that
Alex had the same meal.
"We have not eaten in two days. The meals that we were provided in
the past three weeks were not that good. As a matter of fact, most of them
were quite inedible. I thought soup would give our stomachs a chance to get
used to good food again."
Mulder smiled at Alex. "You're always looking out for me, aren't
"Fox," Alex reached across and grabbed Mulder's hand. "I
cannot tell you how much I want to take care of you, to treat you right. You
mean everything to me."
Mulder blushed at the words, and he looked down at his bowl of soup. No
one had ever said that he meant anything to anyone. "I...thank you for
bringing me with you."
"There was never any question," Alex whispered. Perhaps if he
told himself that enough times, he would genuinely believe it. Mulder stared
at him, knowing perfectly well that Alex had intended to leave him behind
almost up till the last minute, but he was so happy to be with Alex that he
didn't say anything. "Now, let's eat our soup, before it gets
They ate their supper and drank the wine, both of them soon yawning.
Finally, Alex stood and offered Mulder his hand. He took it and followed
Alex into the bedroom. This was also full of antiques and elaborate
draperies. A window was open, bringing in the cool night air, the sheer
curtains barely moving in the breeze. Alex undid the tie on Mulder's robe
and motioned for him to lie on the large bed. When Mulder was lying on his
back, naked, Alex doffed his robe and towel, and climbed up beside him. He
rubbed Mulder's feet with his hands, soothing him, massaging him. He then
followed with his lips, kissing up Mulder's legs, first the left, then the
right. He took his time, exploring his lower body with his hands, caressing
the muscles. He lingered at Mulder's knees, bringing giggles when he licked
and kissed the backs of them. When he got to Mulder's crotch, Alex merely
placed a kiss on the tip of Mulder's hardening cock and continued on his
journey up his body.
He kissed the palms of his hands and every finger. He slowly made his way
up one arm, then another, as he had done with his legs, enjoying the fact
that Mulder's elbows were just as ticklish as his knees. He was now at
Mulder's chest, kissing and sucking on his nipples, licking the outline of
his ribs and muscles. He lingered at his neck, marking him yet again at his
collarbone. Finally, he got to his face, kissing each eyelid, his nose, his
forehead, his chin. He looked down at his lover for a second; such bliss
showed on his face. He sat back and reached down with his hands to spread
Mulder's legs. He lay between them, holding his lover, caressing his face.
Only then did he kiss his lips.
It was if electricity was passing between them, their lips parted so
their tongues could dance together, searching, exploring now familiar
territory. Alex started to grind himself against Mulder, their erections
rubbing together, mixing their pre-come in a sticky film across their
bellies. He felt Mulder's hands come down to cup his ass again then move up
across his back.
Alex started back down Mulder's body, tracing a trail with his tongue,
until he was at his groin. He nuzzled Mulder's cock with his cheek,
breathing in his intoxicating scent. He licked up the hard shaft, bringing a
shudder from his lover. His tongue lingered at the top, swirling around and
around before his mouth covered the member, sucking and lapping up the
essence flowing from the tip. He then moved down to Mulder's balls, licking
and sucking on them, bringing whimpers of ecstasy from above.
"Please, Alex, please."
"Does this feel good?"
"Yes. I can't stand it, it's so good."
"All in time, Fox."
Another whimper was heard as Alex grabbed Mulder's legs and hauled them
up over his shoulders. His mouth came down on Mulder's balls again, sucking
and nipping at the fragile skin. Lower his mouth went, to the perineum and
finally to the puckered opening. He spread Mulder's ass cheeks with his
fingers as his tongue dipped in and out of the tight hole, teasing and
taunting so that Mulder was soon writhing on the bed.
"Oh, Alex...please, Alex, I'm begging you."
Alex smirked as he left the bed for a moment to retrieve the tin of
lubricant from his bag. He climbed back on the bed and looked at Mulder in
the throes of passion. His cock was purple and weeping large amounts of
pre-come, his nipples were tight buds, his lips swollen and kiss bruised.
Alex put Mulder's legs over his shoulders again before coating a finger
with the lubricant. He entered it into Mulder's ass, stroking the smooth
interior, spreading the jelly around. Mulder opened up easily in his state
and a second finger easily joined the first. Alex caressed his prostate,
watching him jump and writhe even more. The whimpers grew louder, and Alex
could stand it no more. He slicked up his hard cock and drove home with one
Mulder cried out with pleasure as Alex entered him. He had been imagining
this for so long, making love, real love in a bed with pillows and softness.
A pair of lips were at his and he kissed them, his eyes closed, his legs
spread wide. He dug his hands into Alex's shoulders as he started to drive
into him strongly and with purpose.
"Fox, my beautiful Fox," Alex whispered into his ear. He had
wanted to make this last a long time, but the feeling was too much, and he
started pumping fast into his lover. He could feel the tingling low in his
abdomen, and he knew it wasn't going to last long at all. He reached down
and grabbed Mulder's cock, stroking in time with his thrusts. "Come,
Fox, come for me."
Mulder let out a cry as his semen coated them both, moaning Alex's name.
Alex let out his own cry, and he collapsed on his lover, his balls releasing
his seed deep within his lover.
They lay there, joined for awhile, until Alex reached over the side of
the bed to retrieve the towel that he dropped before and cleaned them up.
Mulder barely felt Alex kiss him before he fell asleep.
The next morning, Mulder was woken by birds singing and sunlight coming
through the window. That had been his first restful sleep since they left
Berlin. Actually, thinking of the bombings, Alex's occasional nightmares and
his own, it was probably the first truly contented sleep he'd had since the
night before he left on the bombing run that led to him becoming Alex's
prisoner. Who'd have thought it would take a war for him to find love? He
looked over at Alex, his face snuggled in his pillow, his naked form visible
underneath the sheet.
Mulder pulled the sheet back and looked down at his lover. So
beautiful. Alex calls me beautiful, but he is the beautiful one. He bent
down and kissed his shoulder, licking his lips after he did so. The taste of
Alex on his lips made him want more. He straddled his still sleeping lover
and kissed his back and down, his hands caressing the muscles underneath the
skin. Alex woke to Mulder's touch and moaned encouragement.
Mulder moved his mouth further down Alex's back to the base of his spine,
nuzzling the fine hairs that grew there with his stubble-covered chin. He
felt Alex jump as he moved down to his ass, kneading the round globes, his
fingers probing inside the crack, teasing the opening.
Alex moaned when Mulder stroked the puckered opening to his ass. He knew
what Mulder wanted, and he was going to let him do just that. He wondered
why he'd been so hesitant to take that final step years earlier, then he
realized that it wouldn't have been the same with anyone else. It was the
love that he and Mulder shared that made it so pleasurable for him. He could
never give up control like that with anyone else.
Mulder's mouth went down to where Alex's leg met his ass, sucking and
biting at the skin, marking him as he had been marked the night before. When
he was pleased with the large purple bruise, he moved on. He spread Alex's
legs and reached for the tin of lubricant. He coated two fingers liberally,
one pressing against the opening. With a little teasing, he was let in.
"Oh, God, Fox, that feels good."
Mulder only smiled as he lubricated the passage well. When he was
satisfied that he could penetrate Alex with only minor discomfort, he pulled
Alex up onto all fours. He hastily applied the lubricant to his cock and
started to push inside.
Alex had been anticipating this, the time when Mulder instigated love
making sessions, and he was not disappointed. He watched as Mulder reached
over for the towel from the night before, positioning it to catch Alex's
semen. He quivered as Mulder's cock inched inside him, his own hard cock
dripping onto the towel below.
Mulder fully embedded himself in Alex with one final push, stopping for a
second to catch his breath. He leaned over his lover, caressing his front
and pinching his nipples, gaining whimpers from below.
"Fox...you feel so good inside me."
Mulder began to move in and out of Alex, slowly at first, but then faster
and faster with every stroke. He could feel his balls slap against Alex's;
he could smell his lover underneath him; he could hear the moans and
whimpers coming from him.
Alex's arms gave way as Mulder reached forward to grab his cock. He could
not remember ever being so aroused, so hard, so loved. He rested forward on
his elbows, this angle giving Mulder a better connection with his prostate.
He started to fuck Mulder's hand, driving Mulder's cock in and out of him at
a rapid pace.
"Oh God...oh Fox...my Fox, I love you...oh God!" Alex came with
a strangled cry, long streams of semen shooting out of his cock and onto the
Mulder continued to slam into Alex's ass, finally letting go, his orgasm
making him shudder and shake. He collapsed to the side, still embedded in
Alex. They lay there, joined together for a few minutes, until Mulder pulled
out of Alex and cleaned them up. He returned to the bed, curling up around
his lover before sleep claimed them yet again.
A few hours later, they woke, still in each other's arms, Alex caressing
Alex kissed Mulder on his sleepy lips, a grin replacing the pout. Mulder
then snuggled closer, his head buried in Alex's chest.
"Fox, we should get up."
Mulder only groaned.
"What do you want to do today?"
"I don't know. What do you want to do?"
"No, it's up to you."
Mulder stretched and yawned then propped himself up on his elbow to look
at Alex. He traced the outline of his face with a finger before kissing him
"Did you really mean it when you said you loved me?"
"Yes, I did."
Mulder smiled. "I love you too."
Alex returned the smile. "Now, what do you want to do today? You are
avoiding the question."
Mulder sighed. "I think we need some new clothes. The fashions are
"I agree. We should try to fit in as much as possible. I know a very
good tailor in Plaza San Martin."
"You've been to Buenos Aires before, haven't you?" Mulder
"Yes, I was here a few years ago with my father. He was interested
in buying a hotel here and moving his business out of Germany. He was
nervous when Hitler started to spread his propaganda. Unfortunately, he
never realized his dream. He died in his sleep a few months after our trip.
My mother also died a few weeks after that; I always thought it was of a
broken heart." Alex stared off into the distance for a minute, before
continuing. "He did, however, liquidate his assets and move them to a
bank in Switzerland, where they still are."
Mulder caressed Alex's cheek with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry
about your parents, you seem to have been close to them."
"I was. I still miss them terribly, after all these years."
Mulder hugged Alex, knowing the pain of losing someone close. No wonder
Alex had been so harsh when they first met; losing both his parents, his
wife and his only child in such a short period of time must have hurt him so
much that he wasn't willing to let anyone else get close to him and take the
chance of losing them too.
"Come on, Fox, let's get up. Buenos Aires is too beautiful a city to
waste all day in bed." He kissed Mulder on the lips before adding,
"Although I want to stay in bed with you very much." He grinned at
Mulder. "But the anticipation will make it that much better when I get
you back here."
Mulder blushed as he watched his lover roll over and get out of bed. This
was their first morning together as real lovers, and it gave him a warm
Alex called down for some breakfast while they got dressed. After they
ate, they went to the tailors, walking the few blocks to Plaza San Martin.
Mulder was doing fine until they got to the Plaza itself, where the
mid-morning bustle was too much for him. Alex sat them down on a bench while
Mulder did his breathing exercises and tried to calm down.
Alex gazed at his lover who looked miserable. The sweat was pouring off
of him, trickling down the back of his neck and his cheeks. Mulder's face
also had this pale green tinge to it. He had to find a way to get rid of
Mulder's paranoia and get him to regain his trust in himself, his
"Are you all right?"
"I'll be fine in just a minute." Mulder shook his head.
"I...I'm sorry, Alex. I can't control it, it just happens...in the
room, I'm fine, when I get outside, I...I..." He started to breathe
rapidly again. He closed his eyes and tried, in vain, to relax.
"It is all right, Fox, take your time." He squeezed his hand
About twenty minutes later, Mulder was calm enough to continue to the
tailor's. Alex and Mulder were measured for new wardrobes, picking a few
ready-made pieces to wear until their clothing was ready. It took some
prodding, but Alex finally got the color and fabric choices out of Mulder
that he wanted. He even managed to get Mulder to express a preference about
some of Alex's own clothes, things that Alex intended to wear to please him.
When they were done, it was mid-day and Alex was hungry.
"What do you say to some lunch? I know a great restaurant across the
Plaza from here."
Mulder looked at the ground and did not say anything.
"What? What is it?" Alex put a finger under Mulder's chin and
lifted it so their eyes met.
"Nothing. Lunch sounds fine," Mulder whispered.
Alex sighed in exasperation. "No, it is not fine. What is bothering
Mulder chewed on his lower lip. While that action would have been sexy
under any other circumstance, it sent off an alarm in Alex's head. He knew
something was wrong. Alex smiled at his lover and kept his voice calm and
"Fox, if something is bothering you, I would like you to tell
"You'll get mad."
"I will not get mad."
"I..." Mulder broke off.
"Yes? Fox, please tell me." Alex wanted to grab him and hug
him, instead he squeezed his upper arm with his hand.
"I'm tired. That...episode I had earlier wore me out. I want to go
back to the hotel and get some sleep."
"Is that all?"
Mulder managed a tiny smile, but his eyes still had worry in them.
"You're not going to punish me?"
"Punish you? For being tired? I want you to realize that you are not
my prisoner anymore, you're my lover. We are free, you are a free man with
free thoughts. If you are tired, I want you to tell me. Same with if you are
hungry, or thirsty, or do not like something. I value your opinion."
Alex decided to try a different tack. "You've told me before that you
like to please me, that it makes you happy." He waited until Fox nodded
before continuing, "Well, it makes me happy to please you
too. Te quiero, mi hermoso Fox."
"Oh." Mulder smiled, his eyes still showing a hint of worry.
"What does that mean?"
"It means I love you, my beautiful Fox."
Mulder smiled for real now.
"Come, let's get you back to bed."
They walked the short distance back to the hotel. Soon, Alex had Mulder
dozing in the bed while he went into the parlor where he made two telephone
calls. He then went back to the bedroom and sat on the side of the bed.
"Fox, I have some business to attend to. I will be back in a few
hours. Will you be all right by yourself?"
Alex quickly kissed Mulder on the forehead then left the hotel. He walked
back to Plaza San Martin where he joined his silver-haired friend.
"Thank you for meeting me on such short notice, sir."
"My pleasure. I have not been to this restaurant in weeks. How is
"He's resting. He is still tired from our journey."
"If I were Fox Mulder, I would be tired as well."
Alex's face showed no expression, "What do you mean?"
"I have been following your notorious military career, Alex. I
promised your father that I would look out for you, and I am fulfilling my
duty. He never warned me, however, that you would turn into a heartless
Alex's mouth opened then closed again. His eyes dropped to the linen
tablecloth flapping in the breeze from the open windows.
"Why, Alex? Why did you do those things I read about? Not only
Lidice, but Kharkov, Stalingrad...those poor boys you tortured for days. Not
to mention your interrogation techniques in that prison..."
"I am aware of what I have done." Alex lit a cigarette, the
blue smoke swirling around in the air.
"So many times I wanted to go back to Germany and find out what
happened to the young man I met on that business trip, so full of hope and
"You know what happened."
"We all lost people in the war, Alex."
Alex's eyes snapped up to meet the other man's gaze. "You were not
there. You did not see what was happening. You did not see your four year
old daughter and wife get mangled by their own house collapsing on them from
a mortar blast."
"Still, we did not all become monsters."
"Is that what I am to you now? A monster? Someone without feelings?
When I wore that uniform, it gave me the power I needed to seek my revenge
on the people that hurt me. I am no longer that man."
"I know what you did to Mulder in your prison. Rescuing him from
death will not make you feel better."
"I did not rescue him to make me feel better." Alex kept his
voice calm, but inside he was enraged. "I love Fox."
"I do not understand. One minute he is your prisoner, the next he is
your servant, then he is your lover."
Alex took a long drag on his cigarette. He knew he was going to have this
conversation with this man sooner or later. It was better to get it all out
in the open at the beginning. His eyes dropped to the tablecloth again.
"The second I laid eyes on him, I wanted him. He did something to me
that no other had, ever. I thought about him all the time. When I was
beating him, I wanted to posses him, to own him. When I would try to sleep
at night, I would see his face and want nothing more than to hold him in my
arms. I would get so frustrated when I could not that I would beat him
Alex's hands were now shaking as he took the final drag from his
cigarette, and his voice fell to a whisper as he continued, "I have no
excuse for my behavior, other than it was war and a crazy time. Everyone did
what they had to do survive, including me." He stubbed out his
cigarette and reached for his glass of water, taking a healthy gulp. His
eyes were still downcast and his voice still low. "I slowly came to
realize that what I was doing to him was wrong, that I wanted to love him
not hurt him. That's when I moved him into my house, so I could protect him
from further harm. Now, I am trying to right my wrongdoing. But believe me
when I tell you that I do love him. I have never felt closer to another
human being since I met my wife." He looked up with a terrible sorrow
and fear in his eyes. "I can only hope that he still wants to be with
me when he's himself again.
Grey looked at Alex, expression still blank. "I am glad you can
admit your faults, my friend. Let us hope no one tries to take revenge for
A shudder ran through Alex; he had not thought of that before.
"As for your American friend, I know you are telling me the truth.
And now I know why you want this." He took a small package from his
breast pocket and passed it over to Alex who put it in his own pocket.
"Thank you," Alex whispered. He looked up at his friend again
"Be very careful, Alex."
"Good. Now, let's have some lunch."
Later that evening, Alex was anxious to try and break Mulder out of his
shell. With the serum that his friend had given him, it would be easier.
They were sitting on a couch, Mulder in his arms, listening to the radio,
when Alex broke the silence.
"Fox, I want to try something."
Alex sat up and looked at Mulder. "I want to try and rid you of your
panic attacks and anxiety, would you like that?"
Mulder nodded, "Very much."
Alex stood and turned the radio off. Then he motioned for Mulder to sit
in a large, overstuffed chair. "Make yourself comfortable." Mulder
sat down and settled into the chair. Alex sat down in front of him.
"Close your eyes and go to your safe place, Fox. I want you to
Mulder closed his eyes. After a few minutes his breathing slowed down,
and his jaw went slack.
"Good." Alex opened the package that his friend had given him
earlier, revealing a vial of brown liquid and a syringe. He opened the vial
and filled the syringe part way with the liquid. He made sure there were no
air bubbles in it before he spoke again.
"Now. I am going to give you something to relax further. If at any
time you feel uncomfortable, I want you to tell me, okay?"
Alex pushed the needle into Mulder's arm and pushed the plunger of the
syringe down. He removed it from his arm and set it aside, then sat back and
waited for the drug to take effect.
A few minutes later, Mulder spoke. "I feel funny."
"Funny, how, Fox?"
"Like I'm floating."
"Are you still in your safe place?"
Alex took a deep breath. "Fox, I want you to tell me how you feel
when you have your panic attacks. What happens to you?"
Mulder swallowed, his voice was calm, his words slow. "It only
happens outside. I feel like the world is closing in on me. My chest starts
to tighten and I can't breathe. There are too many people, too many things
going on at once. I am afraid they are going to catch up to me and take me
back to prison."
"The Nazis, the Americans."
"You think they followed you from Germany?"
"Because I betrayed my country."
"How did you betray your country?"
"When I went to work for you, when I fell in love with you, an SS
officer, when I killed those American soldiers to protect you. I should have
gone to a camp, to be a prisoner, not bask in luxury as your valet, as your
lover. I should have hated you, killed you myself at the first opportunity,
but instead I killed to save you and deserted to stay with you. It is
desertion, you know. I could have gone back to the Americans; you told me
so. But I couldn't leave you."
"I see. Do you feel guilty about leaving your brothers in arms back
at the camp?"
"Yes. I was in a camp for two weeks. When they grabbed me and took
me to the prison, they were all sure I was to die. I should have died."
Alex closed his eyes and took another deep breath. He knew this was not
going to be easy. His specialty was breaking people down, making them
believe they were garbage and filling their heads with propaganda. Building
someone up and giving them hope was much harder.
"Do you still feel that you should die?"
"No. Not now. When I was being tortured at the beginning, I wished I
was dead. But not now, now I want to live."
Relief washed over Alex's features at that remark. "Let's get back
to the people you think that are following you. When do you feel like they
are around you?"
"When we are in a crowd. Everyone is speaking another language, and
I can't understand them. I know they're talking about me, they're whispering
to each other that the American is here. I know they want to hurt me and
take me away." Tears welled up in Mulder's eyes, "I don't want to
be taken away again, please don't let them take me away."
"No one is going to take you anywhere, Fox. You have got to believe
me when I tell you that nothing can hurt you here. Do you believe me?"
Alex pursed his lips together, his forehead a knot of concern. "Do
you ever feel safe, Fox?" he asked softly.
"When do you feel safe?"
"When I am inside with you, or in my safe place. When I am being
"You feel safe when you are being punished?"
"Because I know that you love me."
"Do you not think that I love you, otherwise?"
"Yes...but when you punish me, you devote all your energy to
Alex licked his lips. "Do you miss being punished?"
"Yes. I want you to love me."
"I do love you. Please realize that. I love you no matter what. I
don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm sorry I ever did." He saw the fear
cross Mulder's face. What have I done to you, my Fox? "Fox, pain
isn't part of love. The war hurt me so I hurt anyone I could, and
unfortunately that included you. But now the war is no longer our concern;
we are lovers, not enemies anymore. Do you believe that I love you,
"Yes, I know you love me." But he still looked unhappy.
Alex was silent for a moment. It was going to take many nights to clear
Mulder of these feelings. He looked at his watch; the drug would be wearing
off soon. He hadn't given Mulder very much on their first run, as he didn't
want to cause him any harm. They would have to leave this for now and go
back to it tomorrow.
"Mulder, I want you to relax again. Are you still in your safe
"Good. I want you to remember what we talked about, about you not
coming to any harm, about me loving you. I want you to feel safe and loved
when you wake up, okay?"
"Good. The drug will wear off soon. I am going to be sitting here,
right in front of you the whole time. You may feel slightly ill though. When
you can open your eyes, I want you to look at me and let me know how you
Alex sat there and watched Mulder as he slowly came out of his trance.
Finally, his eyes opened and he smiled weakly.
"I feel like I've been drinking all night."
Alex reached across and took Mulder's hand in his own. "I think we
are making progress, Fox. We have to keep up these sessions, though. Is that
alright with you?"
"Yes, it's fine."
Alex smiled at him, "Good."
"I'm tired. I think I'll go to bed."
"Good idea, I will join you shortly." He squeezed Mulder's hand
before letting go and watching his lover stand and wobble to the bedroom.
Alex took the notepad and pen that was beside him and jotted a few notes
down about this session and a reminder of what to ask Mulder in their next.
He then retired to the bedroom to join Mulder in sleep.
Mulder and Alex were getting tired. They had looked at ten houses today,
none of which seemed particularly interesting to either of them. Finally,
they were on their last house of the day, located in a newer neighborhood, a
few kilometers from a busy Plaza.
"There are a lot of German couples living on this street," Grey
said. "I know you want to live in a predominately Spanish neighborhood,
that is why I left this until last."
"Well, we have not had any luck at any of the other houses. Are you
too tired to look at another one, Fox?" Mulder shrugged, "It
doesn't matter to me."
Alex rolled his eyes, out of Mulder's view. He was getting frustrated
with Mulder's meek attitude today. Every time Alex asked him a question, he
would respond with either another question or a noncommittal answer. Visions
of his wife chastising him for not listening to her, or not replying
adequately ran through his mind. I now know what you meant, Gretchen, and
I am sorry. Alex offered up a silent prayer to her and Trudi in the back
of the car making its way down the tree-lined street.
They pulled up in front of a large house with large trees out front and a
slate walkway leading up to the front door. The style was clearly Victorian,
yet there were indications that the house was not more than ten years old.
"This house replaced one that burnt down on this very spot. The
owner kept the style of the house to fit in with the neighborhood."
They departed from the car and walked up to the grand house. They opened
the door and walked inside, touring around the main floor with its large
kitchen, parlor and French doors leading off to a slate patio. A large
garden filled with flowers was at the back of the lot. The second floor held
three bedrooms and two baths. The master bedroom had an en-suite full bath
with large bathtub. Alex looked at Mulder who actually blushed. They were
about to go downstairs again, when Mulder noticed a door leading off the
"Where does this door lead to?"
"I don't know. It's listed as only a three bedroom."
Mulder turned the knob and swung the door open to a large room with
bookshelves built into the walls. His face shone as he looked at the oak and
pine shelves stained a rich honey color, matching the hardwood floor
throughout the house. Mulder stood in the middle of the room and looked at
the room, the large windows that faced the backyard let in the setting sun,
giving everything a warm, orange glow. Slowly, a look of joy came over his
"Do you like it?"
"I've always wanted a library." Mulder went over and stroked
the wood with his fingers. "But it's your house, not mine. It should be
what you want."
Alex felt rage build up within himself. He reminded himself to remain
calm as he turned to his friend, "Could you please give us a few
"By all means. I will be downstairs." The silver-haired man
turned and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
Alex walked up to Mulder and held on to his arms, looking into his eyes.
"Fox, don't you realize that whatever house we pick will be your house
"I will work here, of course, but it will ultimately be your
Alex closed his eyes and bit his lip to keep from screaming in
frustration. Instead he turned away from Mulder and went to look out the
window to the backyard below. After a moment, he turned around again.
"Look. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this, I love
you, Fox. You and I are together. I do not want you as my prisoner; I do not
want you as my valet. I want you and me to be together forever. You are my
mate. Is that clear?"
"Yes." Mulder looked down at the floor.
Alex was frustrated beyond belief. He would have to up the dosage of
Sodium Pentothal for their nightly sessions. For three nights, he had
hammered into Mulder's brain that he was an equal, and it wasn't getting him
anywhere. Mulder just kept telling him whatever he thought he wanted to hear
without actually believing it. Patience, Alex. You made him this way, now
you have to get him back to normal.
He took a deep breath to calm himself. "Hey," Alex said softly
before walking over to Mulder and kissing him on the lips. "I love you.
Whatever you want, I want. Do you want this house? Do you like the
"I love this house."
"Then we shall buy this house." Maybe if he just kept finding
out and giving Fox what he really wanted, eventually he'd believe in his
They went back downstairs to tell Grey that they would take the house. He
informed them that they could have it by the beginning of the month, a mere
two weeks away. In the meantime, they should shop for furnishings, so when
they moved in, they would have what they needed.
For the next two weeks, Alex and Mulder spent their time looking for
items to outfit their new home, Alex even buying an automobile. He thought
about buying one for Mulder as well but decided to wait until Mulder felt
more able to deal with people. Right now it would be pointless. At night,
Alex would hold his sessions with Mulder, ridding him of his paranoia,
convincing him that he was his equal. They made slow progress, but now
Mulder could go to the busy square alone, without suffering the panic
attacks that once plagued him. He spent most of his time in a small
bookstore, specializing in English texts, buying books for his library at
home. In fact, he spent so much time there that Alex started to miss having
him around whenever he wanted him and grew sulky. Though he didn't
appreciate it at first, this led to the first real sign that Mulder was
recovering from his abuse.
The day before they were due to move into their new home, Mulder spent
the entire morning at the bookstore and stayed through lunch as well. When
he did come back, Alex was pouting in the living room and muttered something
about hoping he'd finish buying his damn books soon so they could spend some
time together. Mulder lost his temper.
"Yeah, you were so anxious to spend time with me that you were going
to leave me in the middle of Berlin while you saved your own skin!" he
yelled, shocking Alex into silence. "Now suddenly it bothers you if I
find something to do that doesn't revolve around you for a few hours?! Well,
fuck that! And fuck you too!" He threw his latest bag of books down on
the floor and stormed into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
Alex stood frozen, staring at the closed door between them. Slowly, very
slowly, he sank to the floor where he stood, unable even to take the few
steps back to the chair he'd been sitting in when Mulder arrived. Suddenly
the door flew open again, and Mulder reappeared, anger radiating from every
pore. Alex pushed himself to his feet, watching Mulder silently, which only
seemed to enrage him more.
"And while we're on the subject, where the hell do you get off whipping
me? I'm a human being, not some animal. Hell, I wouldn't treat any animal
the way you treated me! You deliberately set out to degrade me!"
"Yes." The one soft word was Alex's only response.
Mulder let out a snarl of frustrated rage and punched Alex, knocking him
to the ground.
That was more than Alex could take, guilty conscience or no, and he
sprang to his feet with a bellow of rage. "How dare you!? How fucking
dare you!?! I was doing my job, but you! Mr. O-So-Honorable American, what
about you? You raped me!"
"You raped me first!"
"At least I made sure you enjoyed it!"
"I didn't want to enjoy it! I wanted to go home!" Mulder
practically spit in Alex's face with that last yell since they were now
standing toe to toe, both red-faced with anger, yelling at each other like
children having a temper tantrum.
Mulder suddenly realized that he had just punched and was now screaming
in the face of the man that only days before he had practically begged to
beat him to show his love. He started to think about what was going on,
remembering everything from his nightly sessions with Alex and comparing it
with how Alex had treated him in prison at the beginning. He stared in
amazement when all the pieces fell into place.
Alex stared back nervously, not knowing what was going through Mulder's
head, but clearly something was going on.
"You're trying to undo what you did to me." Mulder made the
statement with a degree of shock usually reserved for things like the
eruption of Mount Vesuvius, the sinking of Atlantis, Judgment Day and other
things of that magnitude.
Alex looked away guiltily.
"Why?" Mulder placed on hand on Alex's cheek, turning him to
meet his eyes. "Why would you want to do that? I would have done
anything you wanted, so why undo it?"
Alex tried to take courage from the hand still resting against his cheek.
"Because I love you. Because I want a lover, not a slave. Because it
hurt me to see you so afraid and know that it was because of me. Because I'm
the only one who could."
Mulder stared into frightened green eyes, seeing the truth of Alex's
words, and he remembered that despite everything he loved this man. Under
all his anger, and there was a lot of it, that truth was at the core of him.
He loved Alex Krycek, and nothing could ever change that. He closed his eyes
and sighed, leaning his forehead against Alex's.
Opening his eyes again, he took Alex's hand and led him into the bedroom
where they lay together, just holding one another silently. They still had a
long way to go, but for the first time Alex truly believed that Fox was
going to be all right and was still going to love him and stay with him.
Finally, the day arrived when they moved in. Everything had been
delivered from their hotel, so they just had to go to the house with the
clothes on their backs. Malcolm dropped them off, grinning at Alex as they
left. He was glad that his friend's son had found happiness despite the
horrors he had been through.
They walked in the house, shut the door behind them and embraced.
"Welcome home, Fox. This is your home. We are together
Mulder kissed Alex, tears welling up in his eyes. He had never felt so
loved. Suddenly, the smell of something cooking wafted up to his nostrils.
"Are you cooking something?"
Alex smiled coyly, "No, we have a cook and maid. Her name is Elena,
and she comes highly recommended."
"What am I to do?"
"Do? Anything you want. You can read all day in your library, go for
walks, whatever you please. You might even want to spend some time with me
occasionally." Alex looked at Mulder through his lashes, grinning at
his expression of exasperation. Mulder had to laugh. "There is a garden
out back, if you are so inclined. Elena's brother, Ricardo will come to tend
to the gardening if you have no interest."
"I've never had...servants before, I don't know how to treat
"You treat them as you treat anyone. With respect. Now, come meet
They walked into the kitchen where a trim, yet husky woman of about fifty
was bustling around the kitchen, checking an enormous pan that was simmering
on the stove. She smiled and greeted Alex, speaking in rushed Spanish. She
then gripped Mulder's hand and greeted him the same way.
Mulder smiled at her warmly and nodded. Everyone at the hotel had spoken
English, and whenever he needed translation, Alex was there for him. Now, he
needed to assimilate further and learn the language. He couldn't imagine
spending the rest of his life in a country where he didn't speak the
"Alex, I don't speak Spanish. I need to learn."
"I've been thinking about that; we should get you a tutor
Elena continued talking, looking back at them and smiling as she opened
the oven and brought out some heavenly-smelling rolls. Alex answered her
then led Mulder upstairs.
"What was that all about?"
Alex laughed, "She said to wash up, dinner is in ten minutes."
"It took her that long to say that?"
''Actually, she was also telling me that she has some nieces that would
like to meet us."
"You mean, she doesn't know that we're..." Mulder laughed.
"No. She will find out soon enough. I do not want our relationship
to be a secret. We are free and should live our lives as such."
Deciding to match actions to words, Alex suddenly grabbed Mulder and kissed
him, backing him against the wall as he made sure he didn't miss a single
inch of Mulder's mouth in his explorations. Both were flushed and panting
when they separated to continue up to their bedroom.
After they washed up, they went back down to the dining room where they
were treated to paella, loaded with seafood and vegetables. After Elena
cleared up the dishes, she excused herself for the evening and went home.
Alex and Mulder retired to the parlor where they listened to the radio.
"She doesn't live with us?"
"No. Family is very strong here. She comes in the morning to cook us
breakfast and cleans. In the afternoon she leaves for a few hours to spend
time having lunch with her family. She comes back later in the day to cook
dinner. Whatever is left over, she takes home to her family. It is quite
common here for them to do so."
"That's nice, she should spend time with her family."
Alex caressed Mulder's leg from the chair beside the couch Mulder was
sitting on. After Mulder's blow up the previous evening, he'd been trying to
give him some space that day. Otherwise he'd have been in his favorite
position, stretched out on the couch with Mulder against him. "You
know, Fox, we are a family now."
Mulder smiled, "I know."
When Mulder raised Alex's hand from his leg to his lips and kissed it,
Alex moved over to sit beside him on the couch, his hand cupping his chin,
his thumb caressing his lower lip. Gently, he kissed him, their lips
pressing together before parting slowly to allow their tongues to pass.
Alex broke the kiss and caressed Mulder's lip with his thumb once more.
"Come upstairs so we can make love in our bed."
Mulder grabbed Alex's hand and followed him up to the bedroom. The four
poster bed was covered with crisp sheets and a duvet. Alex turned off the
overhead light, the light from the moon streaming in the windows providing
the only illumination needed.
Very slowly, they undressed each other, licking and kissing the skin as
it was exposed. The heat radiating from their bodies was incredible, both
men sweating from anticipation alone. Finally, they were naked and moved to
the bed, caressing each other all over.
Alex nestled himself between Mulder's legs, pressing their erections
together while he kissed him. Their tongues danced together, exploring each
other's mouths, as they reacquainted each other with the details of their
Alex moved down lower, sucking at Mulder's neck, feeling Mulder's hands
come down to caress his back. Lower he moved until he reached a nipple,
which he sucked and teased, pulling it with his teeth.
Mulder was moaning now, his cock throbbing between his legs. He could
feel Alex suck down the line of hair on his belly to where he wanted Alex's
mouth to be.
"Alex, I want to taste you as well."
Alex looked at his lover for a second before maneuvering around so he was
resting on his side, his mouth in line with Mulder's cock, his own in line
with Mulder's mouth. He covered Mulder's erection with his mouth, gently
sucking, and licking. He breathed in sharply when he felt Mulder's mouth
come around his own, lapping up the fluid at the head.
Both men sucked and nibbled on each other's cocks, bringing sighs and
moans from each other. Mulder was caressing Alex's balls with his fingers,
lightly stroking the underside of them. Alex had one finger inside Mulder,
slowly fucking him in time with the pulls of his mouth. Both men, as if on
cue, started sucking harder on each other, moaning, their bodies in sync as
They licked each other clean before turning to face each other again.
They kissed for a long time, their tongues mixing each other's essences
within their mouths to create one unique taste. Finally, they broke free and
just held on to each other before drifting off into sleep.
Weeks passed, and Alex closed the deal to buy the hotel that he and his
father had looked at years earlier. He spent his days there, sorting out the
staffing and the plans he had for the business. He was making a name for
himself in the business community, turning an obscure little hotel into a
palace. The neighbors, were not so accommodating, however. Their prejudices
ran deep, especially regarding homosexuality. While Alex and Mulder were
cordial to their neighbors, their greetings were returned with fake smiles
and disapproving glances. Alex shielded Mulder from it as much as possible.
He needed to get him well before he dealt with the emotional burden of this
new problem. He didn't want anything to jeopardize Mulder's progress, as
slow as it was.
Mulder had been moody in the beginning, not sure how to act or what to do
in his own house. This led to more than a few arguments, Alex glad that
Mulder had the courage to now argue back. When they got started yelling at
each other, Elena usually made sure all the kitchen knives were put away out
of sight, crossed herself with a quick prayer for them and went home out of
the war zone. After the first time in the hotel, they hadn't resorted to
fists again, although Alex thought Mulder might have come close a few times.
When he tired of screaming insults at Alex, Mulder would storm up to his
library and slam the door, not coming out for hours. Once he calmed down
enough to stop cursing Mulder, Alex would go up there once every hour and
knock on the door to make sure he was okay. Mulder would tell him to leave
him alone and then remain silent until the next time he knocked on the door.
While he was relieved that Mulder was getting better, it killed him not to
be able to take the pain completely away. It was to be expected that Mulder
wasn't going to go right into acting normal again; the transition would be
hard. Alex knew that, but he still couldn't help getting upset when Mulder
was hurting, and that tension made him more apt to yell back at Mulder. This
too, however, was passing. There had not been an argument or slammed door in
This week was also particularly good for Mulder. He had continued to
visit the small bookstore where he bought most of the volumes in his library
almost daily. The old man that owned it was going to retire soon and had no
children to pass his business on to. Mulder thought about buying the
business from him, but he didn't have any money. He agonized over asking
Alex for a loan, and when he finally did, Alex went to the bank the next day
and paid the owner the money for the store. In two weeks, Mulder would be
running the shop, his name over the door.
He was learning Spanish, too. At the beginning, he had a private tutor
come in every day. This man was not very nice, however, and after a week,
Mulder asked for him to be replaced. The new tutor was also not kind; Alex
came home one day to find him yelling at Mulder for using the wrong tense.
He was forcibly removed from the house by Alex, with a threat on his life if
he ever saw him again. Alex wondered what it was about Mulder that made men
want to abuse him.
The best tutor turned out to be their cook, Elena. Mulder walked in the
kitchen one day, just after she had arrived to start the evening dinner. She
made Mulder a cup of coffee and asked him to sit down. From what little
Spanish he had learned from his tutors, he realized that she wanted to learn
English. They struck a deal that they would teach each other their native
tongues while Mulder watched her prepare the evening meal. Alex was
surprised at the speed at which Mulder had learned the language. He supposed
Elena's offerings of cake and other baked delights helped with the lessons.
Unfortunately, Mulder's attempts to learn to cook under Elena's tutelage
were far less successful. After she arrived one morning to find that Mulder
had started to boil eggs for breakfast, gotten engrossed in a book and
forgotten all about them, she made him swear on Alex's life never to attempt
to cook again. It took both of them nearly an hour to scrape and scrub the
bits of exploded egg off the kitchen walls.
Elena took to the two easily, treating them as if they were her sons, not
seeming to mind about their relationship. What they did not know, however,
was that every Sunday, she prayed in church for God to take pity on them and
grant them a place in heaven, despite their sins.
One day, Alex and Mulder were listening to the radio when the announcer
said that the war in Europe was over and Hitler was confirmed dead. Before
now, reports of Hitler's death had been denounced as rumors. There had also
been reports of murder/suicides at the Fuhrerbunker in Berlin; apparently,
Goebbels had taken his life as well as the lives of his wife and six
Both men stopped what they were doing, Alex reading the newspaper, Mulder
a book. They both looked at each other then embraced, the tears flowing
freely from both men.
"It's over, Fox. It's all over."
It seemed as if a weight had been lifted from Mulder's shoulders. He no
longer had that nagging suspicion in the back of his mind that the Nazis
would eventually find them and take them back to Berlin. The Nazis had been
defeated, and Berlin was now in the hands of the Americans and the Russians.
Both men held on to each other for a long time, remembering those who had
died, who had been left behind, the destruction that had destroyed a large
part of Europe. They ended the evening by curling up, embracing each other
in bed, kissing each other gently before falling asleep.
The next day, the word came from Grey that Alex's favor was due. They
would host an escapee couple for a few weeks while they got settled. Elena
prepared the guestroom at the end of the hallway for their visitors. Alex
and Mulder told her they were old friends from Europe and nothing more.
Alex looked nervous. His friend did not tell him who his guest was to be,
only that they had escaped from Germany and had spent the past month trying
to get to Argentina. They were to arrive tonight.
Mulder and Alex were in the parlor when they heard the car pull up. They
both looked at each other, nervous, yet excited at the same time. Together,
they walked to the door as the knock came. Alex looked at Mulder one more
time before opening the door to their guests.
Both men embraced upon seeing each other, tears springing to their eyes.
"I thought you might be dead. When I heard of all the suicides and
murders at the end, I thought the worst."
"I worried about you too, my friend. When I found out which ship you
used for your escape, I feared for your life."
Alex looked away, not wanting to discuss what had happened on that ship.
Recognizing his discomfort, Pendrell didn't press him.
The silver-haired man beamed. He knew this was the right decision. Now
his promise to the senior Krycek had been fulfilled. Alex had a family
Alex and Pendrell embraced once more, glad to see each other alive,
before pulling away. Alex gestured to Mulder, "Sean Pendrell, this is
"Ah, yes, so nice to meet you, finally. I am sorry that I could not
introduce myself properly when I saw you last."
Mulder smiled and shook his hand, glad that Alex's friend was still
alive. He knew that he meant a lot to Alex.
"This," Pendrell said as his hand moved into the shadows,
"is Marita." Pendrell brought a blonde woman from around the
corner, her piercing blue eyes assessing the situation.
She smiled at both men and held her hand out to them. "Herr Mulder,
Herr Krycek, I am Marita Covarrubias. Thank you for letting us stay with
Alex grabbed her hand and squeezed it, "It is our pleasure. And
please, it is Senor, you are in Argentina now."
Marita let go of Alex's hand as if it were on fire and grabbed Mulder's,
her expression not changing. "Yes, how silly of me. I should learn
"Come inside, both of you. Have you much luggage?"
"There are a few bags in the car. Fox, would you please help me with
them?" Grey turned towards the car, Mulder following him.
Pendrell, Marita and Alex all went into the parlor to wait for Mulder.
When he came into the room, they had opened a bottle of wine and were
relaxing. He noticed that there was something that didn't feel quite right;
there was a certain electricity running through the room, as if during a
"Fox, where is Malcolm?"
"He said he could not join us tonight, but we are to meet him for
"Fine. Come, sit, Fox, let me pour you a glass of wine."
Mulder sat down beside Alex on the couch, taking his glass of wine. Alex
and Pendrell reminisced, laughing out loud at jokes. He looked at Marita,
her icy blue gaze scanning the room. She was seated in one of the
wing-backed chairs across from him, Pendrell in the other. She would
occasionally glance at the two men, smiling and joining in the conversation,
but not giving any indication of who she really was or what she was
thinking. Finally, Mulder yawned after hearing the two other men talk for
hours about people they knew. Alex reached over and put his arm around
Mulder and gave him a squeeze. Marita raised her eyebrows and looked at the
two men as if to say, "I knew it."
Alex put his wineglass down, "It's late, you must be tired from your
journey. I will take you to your room."
Mulder bid them goodnight and cleaned up after them before making his way
upstairs to the room he shared with Alex. They settled into bed, Mulder
holding Alex in his arms. He kissed his forehead, "You're pretty happy
to see that Pendrell's safe."
Alex sighed, "I tell you, Fox, it is a weight off my mind. I was so
worried about him. I am so happy to see that he is safe."
Mulder hugged him closer, neither man saying what was really on his mind
regarding Marita. He kissed Alex's hair, his hands caressing his back,
moving down to wander across his buttocks. Alex moved his mouth up to greet
Mulder's, biting on his lower lip, sucking it into his mouth.
Mulder moved his hand down and grasped both of their burgeoning
erections, stroking them both into hardness.
Alex gasped as Mulder's thumb went from the head of one of their cocks to
the other, teasing, spreading the pre-come around. Alex moved his hand down
to join Mulder's, stroking and caressing each other until they both came
with a soft moan on each other's bellies.
Mulder kissed Alex before cleaning them up, Alex returning to his arms to
sleep the night away.
The next day, the four of them toured Buenos Aires, not forgetting to
join Grey for lunch. He was going to take Pendrell and Marita out on Monday
to look at some apartments, neither of them wanting a house.
Later, at dinner, Alex and Pendrell dominated the conversation, gaining
steely glares from Marita. Mulder sensed that Marita didn't like Alex
because he was always stealing Pendrell away to talk to him about something
that left both men giggling uncontrollably. Mulder was genuinely happy that
Alex was having a good time with his friend. He wanted to tell Marita that
friendships like that didn't come along every day and she should be happy
for Pendrell, but he did not. Instead he drank his wine and ate his dinner,
watching her fume through the courses.
When the brandy and dessert came, Mulder rose and went to the kitchen to
see Elena off, making sure that her brother came to pick her up. With her
safely on her way home, he went back to the dining room to find Marita
standing before them, icily stating that she was tired and wanted to go to
Pendrell and Alex both stood, and Pendrell gave her a peck on the cheek,
oblivious of her mood as she stormed out of the room and down the hallway.
Mulder watched Marita leave the dining room and go upstairs. When she
left, it was if the tension had left as well. Sensing Alex and his friend
wanted to talk, he also excused himself and went up to his library, shutting
the door behind him. He opened the window and looked out at the stars,
wanting to be flying up there in his airplane at that particular moment. He
didn't like the feeling that was in this house since she arrived, the
underlying tension. He and Alex had been through so much emotionally these
past few months; they didn't need this right now. Her prima donna attitude
would have to change. With Alex and Pendrell living in the same city, they
were bound to be together a lot. Mulder shook his head. He didn't trust
Marita; she was hiding something, and she had a different agenda than
Pendrell. He didn't like her. He breathed in the sweet night air before
settling down in his overstuffed chair with a book.
Alex and Pendrell walked out the French doors to the patio. Cicadas and
crickets sang their night-time tune as they sat in the wicker chairs that
faced each other.
"You have really made a life here for yourself, haven't you,
"The house is very nice, isn't it? Fox picked it out. He loves books
and wanted his own library. The neighborhood isn't too bad, the people
are...well, they try to be nice. They don't approve of me and Fox; they give
us dirty looks when they think we are not looking. There is one particular
troublemaker across the street. That Russian pig is such an asshole; he is
trying to drive us out of our home."
"He can't do that."
"Well, he is certainly trying. He does not think two men should live
together and we are immoral and wrong. They had a meeting at his house one
night to plan his strategy. I invited him over to discuss the problem, to
see if we could work it out, but he refused. Later, I heard that he moaned
to everyone how he was not going to set foot in our house, lest he be turned
into a homosexual."
"That is quite moronic."
Krycek spat on the ground, "Svoi mat! He is lucky that I have calmed
down since the war. They all are."
Pendrell giggled, trying to make light of the conversation, "Do you
still have that riding crop?"
"No. But if I did, I would not waste it on that filth."
They sat there for a few minutes, not talking. Pendrell was anxious to
change the subject. He did not want his friend angry; this was supposed to
be a good time.
"You are lucky to have found happiness for the second time in your
"Fox is a great man, and I love him dearly."
"I can see that."
Pendrell offered a cigar to Alex, who accepted. Soon, they were both
puffing on the cigars, the sweet smoke wafting away on the light breeze.
"What is with Marita?" Alex asked.
"What do you mean?"
"The last time I saw you before the war, you had a young man on each
arm and were leading them away for a night of exploration. Now you show up,
at my house, in Argentina no less, with a woman."
"The last time I saw you before the war, you were married with a
child. Then I see you running through the woods with your lover, who was
your prisoner, and then your servant, and who is a man, no less."
"Touché." Alex puffed on his cigar.
"I like her, she's fun. She also sucks cock like a whore."
"That's nice, Sean, the first thing I do when I start a relationship
with a woman is to compare her to a whore."
"We don't have a relationship, it's just fun."
"Fun? You bring her all this way for fun?"
"Actually, we have a deal. She played my girlfriend for the SS, and
I promised to get her out of Germany."
"So it is business?"
"More or less." Pendrell took a long drag on his cigar, blowing
it out slowly. "She's fine for a friend."
"Is she going to leave you soon?"
Pendrell sighed, "Probably. You know I cannot keep a relationship
longer than a few months."
"True. Are you going back to men?"
Pendrell shrugged, "Man, woman, it does not make a difference to me.
As long as I like them, right?"
Alex shrugged and looked up at the stars.
"Don't worry, Alex, I won't try anything with your Fox. I have to
tell you though, he is a very fine looking man." "Yes, and he is
with me, don't you forget it."
"You have never forgiven me, have you?"
"Forgiven you for what? For making my childhood a living hell?"
Pendrell snorted, "Need I remind you that you were the one who got
me into trouble all the time? No, I am talking about Berlin and our trip
when we were eighteen. Don't tell me you've forgotten about it? That was the
best week of our lives."
"For you, maybe. You took my date and fucked him right in front of
"Your date? Those two Italian boys? We all left together and were
all going to fuck together, remember?"
"All I got was a handjob! You got to be sandwiched between two Roman
"You passed out! Believe me, we tried to wake you," Pendrell
smiled. "I couldn't let those poor boys go without getting anything,
could I? I had to have them both myself. It was such a hardship."
"Hardship? You loved every second of it."
"Yes, it was a night to remember. For me, anyway. I could hardly
wake you the next morning; you were dead to the world. Finally, you woke up
in the afternoon, all hung over but ready to go out again. The next night
you got lucky with that woman, you shouldn't complain."
"Yes, well, it wasn't the same, was it?"
Pendrell sighed then giggled to himself lightly. "The things we did
when we were young."
"That we will never do again."
"Tell me about Fox, Alex. Is this it? Is he the one?"
"Yes, he is. I cannot tell you how happy he makes me feel. When I am
with him, it is as if nothing else matters. I told our mutual friend that I
haven't loved anyone this much since my wife, but even that's not true. I've
never loved anyone, not even Gretchen, this much."
"I'm glad. It's about time we both had some happiness in our
Mulder sat there in his library, listening to the two men talk below. He
knew Marita could not hear them as the guest bedroom at the end of the hall
faced the other way. While he was glad that he heard Alex admit his love for
him to his friend, he was uneasy about the conversation about Berlin. Were
Alex and Pendrell lovers at one time? He had noticed the glances from the
neighbors as well, deciding not to mention it to Alex, so his temper
wouldn't get the better of him. He sighed and shook his head, it wasn't
fair, hadn't they left the fascists behind in Germany? He decided not to
listen to any more, left the library, and went to bed.
About an hour later, Alex came to bed to find Mulder reading a book.
"I thought you would be asleep by now, it's late."
Alex got undressed then slipped in beside Mulder. He could sense that
something was not right.
"Yes there is, out with it."
Mulder put the book down and looked at Alex. "I could hear you from
Alex's tongue snuck out to moisten his lower lip. "Yes? What are you
"Were you and Pendrell ever lovers?"
"Lovers? No, he is like my brother! We may have shared a few
conquests, but I never had sex with him. He is my best friend, I value his
friendship, his companionship, as much as I value what you and I have. Are
"No, I am not jealous, I've been thinking about a few things, that's
all. I am happy that you have Pendrell back in your life, I really am."
"Then what is the problem?"
"There is no problem. I have been thinking about what friendships
mean and what richness they can bring to your life." Mulder looked up
at Alex. "I envy you."
Mulder stood and started to leave the room.
"Fox, where are you going?"
"I need to take care of some things. Don't worry, I won't be
long." Mulder kissed Alex and left the bedroom. He went to his library,
shut the door, sat at his small desk and started writing.
The weeks, then months passed, Alex and Mulder fitting in well with their
business operations. Alex had hosted many events at his hotel, winning the
hearts of wealthy travelers. Pendrell had found an apartment of his own,
Marita leaving him for a wealthy Argentinean man soon after they arrived in
Buenos Aires. Pendrell worked for Alex, helping him arrange the banquets and
meetings that were held there. The three men often did things together
socially, but Pendrell also let Alex and Mulder have their space.
Sadly, except for Pendrell and Malcolm Grey, Mulder and Alex had no other
friends. The German community had closed ranks against them as soon as it
became known that the two men were lovers, and Alex was growing more and
more frustrated with each passing day. Finally he decided to confront the
leader of the community, one Anton von Richter, a former confidant of
After his meeting with von Richter, Alex went straight home, knowing he
didn't dare go near the hotel in this mood. He expected Fox to still be at
the bookstore and was unpleasantly surprised to find him at home when he
"Alex!" Mulder smiled, delighted that they both seemed to be
free unexpectedly for the afternoon. It had been far too long since they
were able to just concentrate on each other. His smile faded when he
realized that far from being pleased to see him, Alex could barely keep a
snarl from his face. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"
"Did something happen?" Alex repeated. "Well, now, that
depends, Fox. That depends on whether being told by a man I greatly respect
and admire that I can never accomplish anything, never be accepted by my
peers, by men who cannot even dream of becoming my equal, so long as you
are in my bed. Yes," he snarled, "I think that something happened!
And there you are, tripping along happily with that stupid smile on your
face like everything's perfect. Do you care, do you even realize, that I
have given up everything for you?! Of course not, you're happy so nothing
else matters!" he yelled.
Mulder, at first stunned by this unexpected attack, quickly found his
anger outstripping his surprise. "Well, maybe if you stopped treating
me like a not-too-bright child and actually talked to me, I would know what
was happening. And maybe together we could do something about the
problem. But no, you have to be in charge, don't you? God forbid I might
actually have an idea of my own that you didn't think of first!"
"That's not true and you know it, Fox! I've treated you as an equal
even when you didn't want me to! But every time I try to talk to you, we end
up screaming at each other. I fail to see how that could possibly be
considered in any way helpful," he sneered.
"You don't talk to me; you either yell at me or talk down to me. I
think you like me being dependent on you," Mulder snapped, totally
ignoring the fact that Alex was the one who had helped build back his
self-confidence. "But if my presence here is the root of all your
problems, there's a simple solution!"
"Yes, that's right, run away. I don't need this. I don't need you!"
Suddenly realizing what they were saying, what their anger and
frustration had driven them to say, both men fell silent. Alex's last words
echoed in the room as they stared at each other in horror. They reached for
each other simultaneously, clinging to each other as if to prevent anyone or
anything from tearing them apart.
"My God, Fox, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I do need you; I
love you. I don't think I could live without you. Please don't leave me;
don't ever leave me. I couldn't bear it if you left me," Alex babbled.
Fox was no more coherent than his lover. "It's not true, Alex, I
could never leave you. I love you so much, please don't send me away."
After a few more seconds of clinging to one another, they slowly
separated just enough to move over to the couch. Alex sprawled in his
favorite position, and Fox nestled into his embrace, still shaken by their
argument. Alex stroked Fox's back continuously, needing the comfort of
feeling his lover in his arms. The fear he'd felt at their words made it
clear to him that if it was a choice between having Fox with him and having
the approval of his compatriots, he could very happily learn to live without
Eventually Alex calmed enough to wonder why Fox was home in the middle of
"Oh, the police have cordoned off the street near the store. They
found a prostitute murdered in a nearby alley. Since no one could get to the
store anyway for a while, I decided to just close up and take the afternoon
off." He raised his head to see Alex's face. "But you know the
strangest part, Alex? I actually knew her slightly back home." In
response to Alex's clear surprise he continued, "She worked in the
cafeteria at the base where I was stationed. I have no idea how she ended up
here. Her name was Fulton... Fuller...no, Fowley, Diana Fowley. That's it.
The poor woman had been knifed, probably by a customer who didn't want to
pay." He shook his head sadly.
Alex shrugged as best he could with Mulder on top of him. "Strange
things happen, especially during a war. We'll never know how she ended up
here." He took one of Mulder's hands in his, just holding it. The two
men lay together, thinking about the odd twists that fate could take until
they dozed off.
Alex thought that everything was settled after that last argument, but he
didn't realize how many problems Mulder was having with the neighbors and
the other Germans in Buenos Aires. Alex was snubbed for being homosexual,
but Mulder was homosexual and an American, the enemy. He was constantly
being insulted and denigrated, and they were starting to add physical
assaults. He didn't want to tell Alex, not wanting to make things more
difficult for him, but he didn't know how much longer he could take this.
After the third day of being tripped as he walked up the street, Mulder
was ready to chew nails. He'd been in a bad mood for the last few days
because of all this, and Alex was starting to ask questions. Today, some of
the children had thrown dog turds at him. They'd missed fortunately, but he
wasn't thrilled to have shit thrown at him.
Mulder was thinking about all of this and getting progressively more
morose when Alex came home. Alex was in an absolutely foul mood after a day
where everything seemed to have gone wrong. People quit without notice;
those who didn't were sick; and the few who actually showed up were
completely incompetent. He really needed a drink. After greeting Mulder, he
went straight to the bar in the corner of the parlor.
"You are so lucky, Fox. You don't have to deal with many people, not
like at the hotel. I'd trade places with you in a minute." Alex began
to pour himself a drink.
"What? I'm lucky? Are you fucking nuts?! Oh yeah, I'm so
lucky. Since the day I was shot down, I've been thrown into a work camp,
sent to a prison, raped, beaten, sexually tortured, abused, dehumanized,
nearly abandoned, raped again, lost my family, friends and home,
betrayed my country and had shit thrown at me!!! Yeah, I'd call that really
lucky!! And guess what? Almost every single thing that's happened to me can
be traced back to one cause--you!!" he snarled at Alex.
Before Alex could say a word, totally shocked by Mulder's unprovoked
attack, Mulder launched himself at him, knocking Alex to the floor and
stunning him. The decanter of whiskey went flying out of his hand and
smashed against the wall, leaving a golden stain to trickle down to the
floor. Mulder swung wildly, hitting Alex again and again. "I hate you!
I fucking hate you! I should have let them kill you, I should have killed
you myself!" he sobbed, pounding Alex's head against the floor. He
punched him again, hitting his ribs, his chest, his cheek, anywhere he could
He rolled to his feet, starting to kick Alex now, hitting him repeatedly
in the ribs, then dropping back down to his knees to punch him some more.
His fists were never still, landing on Alex's chest, his belly, his jaw, his
sides; not a single inch of Alex's body didn't get battered. Mulder looked
at him with blind hatred and started to choke him.
Alex twitched feebly, trying to get away, but too dazed and in too much
pain to move. He clawed at Mulder's hands when they closed around his
throat, gasping Fox's name.
The nearly soundless cry of his name finally penetrated Mulder's fog of
rage, and he released Alex with a cry of anguish. He flung himself away from
the other man, curling into a fetal position in a corner of the room,
sobbing and rocking himself.
Despite the agony pulsing through his entire body, when he regained his
breath, Alex wobbled to his hands and knees and crawled to Fox's side, too
disoriented to stand. He left a trail of blood across the room from the
various scrapes caused by Fox's knuckles and his split lip. His nose was
also dripping blood, but he didn't think it was broken. It didn't hurt quite
as much as the rest of him. He collapsed beside Fox, reaching out to stroke
Mulder cried out, shaking, and raised his head to look at his lover's
bloody and bruised face. He reached out a trembling hand to touch the
battered flesh, seeing the dazed look in Alex's eyes that told him he
probably had a concussion. He couldn't believe that in as much pain as he
had to be, Alex had dragged himself over to comfort him after Mulder caused
him that pain. He pulled his hand back, afraid of hurting Alex more. Dear
God, what did I do? He couldn't bear to look at Alex, to see the wounds
he'd left on him, to see his marred beauty.
Mulder turned away again, sobbing wildly, feeling completely lost and
alone. What was he doing here? Why was he here with this man who'd hurt him
so much instead of at home? He didn't belong here. He'd come because of
Alex, but why? Was he crazy to want to be with someone like Alex? The people
around them were never going to accept their relationship, so they would
never have anyone to depend on but each other. Mulder didn't know if he
could trust Alex that much, enough to make him the center of his world. He
didn't think he could walk away and never see Alex again though. He didn't
know what to do.
Mulder rolled over, meeting Alex's eyes again, seeing the blood dripping
down his face and the pain in the green eyes. He felt an unwilling
satisfaction at seeing the damage he'd inflicted. Is this what Alex felt
when he beat me?
Alex stared back at him, his eyes wide with fear. Despite the pain of his
severely bruised throat, he had to ask, "Do you mean it, Fox? Do you
hate me? Because if you do, I want you to finish what you started. Kill me.
Because one way or another, I'm not going to live without you."
Mulder ignored that last statement; he wasn't up to dealing with it.
" Sometimes I don't know if I love you or hate you, Alex. I hate what
you did to me, but it hurts to think about living without you." He
"I love you, Fox," Alex stopped to catch his breath, his voice
still a painful rasp, "and I swear to you that I will never hurt you
again. I'd rather die."
Mulder stared at him, seeing the damage he had just inflicted in his
rage. And he knew that he didn't want to do that again, didn't want to hurt
Alex. And he especially never again wanted to feel that guilty pleasure that
he'd gotten from hurting Alex. He could taste bile in the back of his throat
at the thought of what he had just done. They were going to get past this
somehow because he wasn't going to give up on them. The person who had hurt
him, who he hated, was another Alex Krycek, the man who had worn the SS
uniform. This Alex would never, could never, do that to him. Mulder knew
that this Alex loved him, and he refused to let his memories of the past
ruin their lives. He forced the images of a tiny prison cell and being
beaten with a crop from his mind. Instead he thought of nights lying
together, just holding each other, of Alex's laughter, of Alex forcing
himself to eat something Mulder had cooked. That was the man he loved and
wanted to spend the rest of his life with. "I love you, Alex."
That was enough for Alex, and he lay his head in Mulder's lap, nestling
close. Mulder tentatively placed a hand on his head, gently stroking his
hair when Alex didn't pull away. They remained like that for a long time,
Alex drifting in and out of consciousness while Mulder held him. Mulder
kissed the bruises and scrapes that began to form on his lover's face and
neck over and over again, wishing he could wipe away the marks of his rage.
Eventually Mulder woke Alex and urged him to his feet so he could help him
Alex opened a bruised eye and looked at Mulder, wondering if this was all
just a bad dream. Coughs wracked his body as he moved, blood coming out of
his mouth. Mulder put his handkerchief up to Alex's mouth to wipe the blood
and spittle off of his chin. Alex held on to Mulder for a minute until the
room stopped spinning. He could only nod his head slightly to indicate that
he was ready to try to move, and both men slowly walked out of the room and
up the stairs.
Mulder was biting his lip, and sweat had broken out all over his body. What
have I done? ran through his mind like a mantra as he helped his bruised
partner up the stairs. An eternity later, they made it up to their room,
Mulder gingerly placing Alex on the bed. He ran to get a warm cloth, which
he used to wash Alex's face.
Slowly, he undressed his lover, tears springing to his eyes when he saw
the bruising that covered most of Alex's body. They fell in heavy drops on
the bed as Alex lost consciousness again, leaving his body limp and
unmoving. "I'm sorry, Alex. God, I'm sorry," Mulder whimpered as
he removed the remainder of Alex's clothing. He pulled up the covers and
kissed Alex gently on the forehead before going back into the bathroom.
Mulder sat on the closed lid of the toilet, miserable and crying. He
never ever wanted to feel again like he felt today. The sudden rush of
adrenaline and almost joy at beating another man, his lover no less, to a
pulp. His tears dried up and anger replaced his sadness, "Fox Mulder,
you are one stupid asshole."
He stood and washed his face, the anger and self-hatred still welling up
inside him. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, sneering at himself.
"Fuck you." With that, he punched the mirror, breaking it into
large shards that shattered in the sink. The blood flowed red as Mulder
relished the pain, pain that would cover the hurt he felt inside. He stood
there and watched the blood drip freely onto the bits of mirror in the sink.
Calmly, he rinsed off his hand and inspected it - only superficial wounds.
He wrapped his hand in a towel, securing it well so it would not come
undone, before returning to the bedroom.
Alex was awake again when he got there, and at his insistence Mulder slid
in beside him, and Alex snuggled against his side, trying to get as much
contact as possible. After Alex fell asleep, Mulder lay watching him all
night, never sleeping. He swore that nothing like this night would ever
happen again, that he would never hurt Alex again.
That blow up seemed to truly signal Mulder's return to himself because
after nursing Alex back to health, he settled down, arguing with Alex when
they didn't agree, showing an incredibly stubborn side, but never again
exploding into that bone-deep rage. They'd weathered the storm, and they
were stronger for it.
One day, Mulder received a letter. He recognized the handwriting
immediately and tore open the envelope to reveal the letter inside. A smile
crossed his face and a happy sigh left his lips as he read the letter. He
looked at his watch; Alex was at the hotel until late tonight, so he would
have to tell him the news later.
Mulder was sitting on the bed, reading, clad in only his robe when Alex
entered the room.
"Hello, my love." Alex bent down and kissed Mulder on the lips,
lingering for a second. "You don't know how good that feels."
Alex stood up again, raking his fingers through his hair. "The
dignitaries from Brazil, Chile and Colombia arrived today. I had the staff
bend over backwards for them all, but nothing was good enough. The services
they want, they don't want to pay for, and then when someone does something
they actually like, they don't tip!"
Mulder looked at Alex pace the room, gesturing wildly with his hands.
"How long are they here for?"
Mulder started laughing, "You wanted this hotel so bad."
"Don't remind me." Alex stopped pacing and started to get
undressed. "Tell me about your day, let me hear some good news."
"I sold some books, came home, ate dinner alone, came to bed,
"Hmmm, is that all?" Alex padded to the bathroom in his robe to
wash his face. Mulder followed behind him, leaning against the door frame.
"Actually, I got a letter today."
"A letter? From who? Is it good news."
"It's good for me."
Alex finished washing his face and began to towel off. "What do you
"It was from Dana."
"Dana? Who's...oh, Dana." Alex faced Mulder, his arms crossed
in front of his chest.
"How did she find you?"
"Actually, I wrote her a few months ago. Looking at you and Pendrell
reunited made me miss Dana terribly. I couldn't let her think I was dead or
missing in action. I told her everything that happened in the war, the
prison, us escaping to Argentina."
"Everything?!" Alex exclaimed, sounding horrified.
"Oh. No, not everything. I didn't give her any details about
when I was in prison. I didn't want her to hate you. I just wanted to let
her know that I was happy and well. What I didn't count on though, was that
she wants to visit."
"Yes, she actually arrives in two days."
"The post is not as fast as we anticipated it to be."
"I suppose you want her to stay with us?" Alex snapped.
"Yes, I do. Unless you want to put her up in your precious hotel for
free." Mulder snapped back.
"I don't know about this, Fox. I don't know her. How can you let a
stranger into our home?"
"It was fine when Pendrell and Marita stayed here. I didn't know
either of them!"
Mulder laughed, "How is it different? I think you're jealous."
"I am not jealous."
"Yes you are, you've always been jealous of Dana. How can you be
jealous of someone that I have not seen in over a year?"
Alex sighed and started to pace throughout the bathroom. "How do I
know you won't fall in love with her again when you see her?"
"I keep telling you, Alex, we were best friends. I only asked her to
marry me because her mother told her that men and women can't be friends.
She understood all that. We just wanted to be together; we had no one else,
only each other. I didn't even sleep with her! I barely kissed her!"
Alex snorted and leaned back against the sink.
"Alex, for months you have been telling me that you love me, that
you are mine. Well, have you listened when I have told you that I love you?
Don't you believe me?"
Krycek looked at the tiles on the floor; Mulder was right. He looked back
up at his lover, seeing the sincerity in his face. "Yes, I believe you.
You are right, I'm being silly."
Mulder crossed the small space to where Alex was standing. "I like
it when you're silly. Your eyes get all scrunched up in the middle, and you
start to flare your nostrils."
Alex laughed, "Do I?"
Mulder wrapped his arms around his lover and kissed him. "Yes you
do, and I love it." Mulder kissed Alex again, nibbling on his lower
lip. He ground their hips together, feeling their hardness through their
robes. With one swift movement, Mulder had both of them undone and falling
to the floor.
Mulder kissed Alex one more time before spinning him around to brace
himself against the sink. Alex leaned over, anticipating what was going to
happen next. Mulder gently indicated to Alex to spread his legs while he
searched in the open medicine cabinet for the petroleum jelly. He found what
he was looking for and slammed the cabinet shut, suddenly looking into
Alex's eyes in the reflection.
Mulder smirked at the reflection in the mirror, only their heads could be
seen. He coated two fingers with the lube and started to caress Alex's
opening, teasing with a few circular movements before plunging a finger into
Alex moaned at the sensation and bit his lip. He fought in vain not to
buck back to embed the fingers farther into him, losing the battle after a
Mulder took Alex's movements as a sign that he was ready and started to
enter his cock into Alex's tight opening. He spread Alex's cheeks apart
farther with his fingers, giving him full access to his ass.
"Yes, Fox, yes."
Mulder slid in to the hilt, not wasting any time. He needed to feel his
lover in his arms, crying, begging for more. He met Alex's gaze in the
mirror, the green a bare rim around the pupil. Mulder began to move in and
out of Alex, holding his gaze while he bent forward to nibble on his
Alex held onto the sink, leaning forward some more to give Mulder better
access. He felt Mulder quicken his pace, thrusting into him with need.
Mulder started slamming into Alex, his arms wrapped tightly around him,
moaning into his ear. He moved one hand down to grab on to Alex's cock,
stroking it with his thrusts, using his thumb to rub just under the head.
Alex was the first to go over the edge, his eyes closing as he reached
his peak. He came on the side of the sink, his come dripping down onto the
Mulder was not far behind, his balls tightening for a brief second then
releasing his fluid into Alex. He thrust a half dozen times more before
stilling himself. He rested his head upon Alex's shoulder, his arms still
holding him tightly. After a few minutes, he disengaged himself from Alex
who turned to kiss him deeply. They cleaned up the bathroom, then themselves
before tumbling into bed.
Alex watched Mulder pace in the small guest area on the tarmac at the
airport. They had been here for half an hour, waiting for the airplane that
would bring Dana. He leaned against the wall of the hangar, arms folded,
collar turned up against the wind. Both men were dressed in camel hair
coats, leather gloves and fedoras. A cold snap had hit this July, and it was
"I hope she brought a coat. I should have told her the seasons are
reversed down here. What if she gets cold?"
"Fox, relax. You didn't know she was coming until two days ago, you
could not have reached her, even if you wanted to. It's only cold to us
because it's usually very hot here, to her it will probably seem very warm.
Besides which, she is presumably an intelligent woman. She will know that
the seasons are reversed in the southern hemisphere."
Mulder stopped pacing for a second to think of what Alex just said but
then continued to move back and forth across the small area.
Alex closed his eyes for a minute, "If she needs anything, we can
just buy it for her."
"Right, you're right. We can buy her a coat." Mulder stopped
pacing and turned to Alex, "Should we get her one now? Do you think
Alex grabbed Mulder by the arms and looked him in the eye, "Fox, if
you don't calm down, I'm going to have to do something drastic."
Mulder bit his lower lip. He hoped Scully liked Alex; hell, he hoped
Scully still liked him! Alex was right; he had to calm down, getting nervous
wasn't doing him any good.
Alex released his grip on Mulder, who turned away and immediately started
pacing again. Finally, they could hear a plane overhead, the prop engines
droning in the crisp winter air. They watched as the plane landed, then
taxied to the waiting area. It seemed to take forever for the props to stop
turning, enabling the ground crew to bring the stairs over to the door.
Mulder held back from running right up the stairs and into the plane. His
heart pounded as he watched the door open, and the people started filing
out. There were two women in front of Dana. He recognized her right away,
her red hair glowing in the late afternoon sunshine. She looked up, saw him,
and waved her hand from the stairs. Mulder strode out of the waiting area
and walked briskly across the tarmac. Dana also walked quickly towards
Alex's stomach began to turn into a big knot when he saw Mulder grab Dana
into his arms and twirl her around once before putting her down. Alex
noticed that she was much shorter than he was, Mulder had to bend
considerably to hold their embrace. He also noticed that she was an
extremely attractive woman, far more so than he'd expected from Mulder's
description of his 'friend.' Then Mulder kissed her, on the lips, no less,
lingering a little longer than Alex thought was appropriate. They broke the
kiss and hugged again.
The passengers getting off the plane stole a look at Mulder and Dana,
giving each other knowing smiles.
Alex held back his emotions as he watched the display, clearing his
throat and adjusting his fedora. He promised himself he wouldn't get jealous
and start a scene, but that kiss did something to him. He closed his eyes
and quelled his inner rage for a few seconds; when he opened them, they were
walking towards him.
She was quite attractive in her blonde cashmere coat with matching hat.
Alex noticed her shoes matched her handbag and gloves. She is at least
Mulder was beaming as he held Dana's hand and walked towards Alex. He had
been waiting for the day when the only two people that mattered to him could
"Dana Scully, this is Alex Krycek."
"How do you do, " Scully said, offering her hand.
Alex held her hand and gently shook it, smiling as he did so. "It's
an honor to meet you, Miss Scully. I've heard so much about you."
Dana smiled back, but there was something in her eyes that indicated her
guard was up. Alex told himself that it was to be expected as he let go of
They enlisted a porter to help them with Dana's luggage, barely fitting
it all in the trunk of Alex's car. Alex tipped the porter and watched him
leave with his cart. Alex closed his eyes for a moment and tried not to
think of what he had just seen: his Fox with his hand in the small of Dana's
back, leading her through the crowded terminal, guiding her as if she was
his wife. He could hear them laughing in the back seat of the car, he to
play chauffeur to them for the journey home. He took a deep breath and
finally slammed the trunk then went around to the driver's side and got in
"Oh, Fox, really. He's not that bad."
"He's an idiot, Dana, I can't believe you let him take you to the
"What was I supposed to do? Every other man between the ages of
seventeen and fifty was off fighting the war!"
"But, he's so....weird."
"Actually, he's very smart."
Alex pursed his lips together as he eased out of the parking lot and down
the road; this was going to be a long month. All the way home, Mulder and Scully,
as he called her when he wanted to annoy her, chatted and droned on about
people Alex didn't know about, laughing about things that he didn't
understand. Finally, they were home, and he was rid of her sing-song laugh
for a minute, while he and Fox lugged her suitcases up to the guest room.
They left her to get freshened up and ready for supper, which would be in
about an hour. Elena had prepared Turkey mole for their guest, a specialty
in her family. Mulder himself watched Elena prepare the mole, grinding the
sesame seeds, almonds and chilies into a delicious paste that would
compliment the turkey.
Alex flopped down in one of the wing-backed chairs, watching Mulder fix
himself a drink.
"I'll have a double."
"So, what do you think of her? Isn't she great?"
"Yes, she is very nice, and very attractive. I do think, however,
that you two talk too much. I have no idea what you are saying half the
Mulder brought over their drinks and sat across from Alex on the couch.
"Do you feel left out?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
"Now you know how I felt when Pendrell first arrived." Mulder
took a sip of his drink.
Alex raised the glass to his lips, then put it on the table as what
Mulder said to him hit him full force. He licked his lips and looked up at
Mulder who had a shit eating grin on his face. Alex leaned back and crossed
his arms across his chest. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I knew that you hadn't seen your friend in a long time, and
I didn't want to ruin it for you." Mulder took another sip of his
drink, swallowing before he started laughing.
Alex tried to be cross with Mulder but failed miserably; he started
smirking, "That is not funny. You should have told me you were
"And have you call me insecure? No way."
Alex grabbed for his drink again, downing it before standing up to fix
himself another. He pointed at Mulder, "I'm going to get you for
"Oh, I'm scared." Mulder finished his drink and handed the
glass to Alex for another. He was still giggling when Scully walked in the
"Did I interrupt something?" she said hesitantly.
Mulder stood to greet her, "No." He kissed her on the cheek
then sat her down beside him on the couch.
Alex was still standing at the bar, squeezing the ice tongs in his hand
so hard that his knuckles showed white. Calm down, Alex. He took a
deep breath then smiled, "Drink?"
"Yes, please, whatever you're having."
Alex brought their drinks over to the coffee table, sitting across from
them in the wing-backed chair. They had started giggling and talking about
people he didn't know again. They asked each other a million questions,
Scully fascinated that Mulder spoke Spanish. She made him promise to teach
her all that he knew. All night this went on, Alex smiling at them, nodding
at their laughter. He admitted their friendship was purely platonic, Mulder
not holding back his language or bad jokes just because she was a woman.
Still, he felt the jealousy well up inside him like a sickness.
He excused himself early and went to bed, having an early start the next
morning. Later, he felt Mulder come to bed and lie beside him, snuggling
next to him, spreading kisses along the back of his neck. He sighed and
snuggled back, sleep claiming him once again.
The next day, Alex was out of the house before Mulder or Scully got up.
He had to prepare for a breakfast meeting of some of Buenos Aires' most
prominent businessmen, of which he was one despite the problems he was still
experiencing with some of them because of his relationship with Mulder. He
kissed Mulder on the head, wanting so much to get back under the warm covers
and nibble on Mulder's pouty lower lip. Instead, he left the room, got on
his hat and coat and went off to work.
Mulder had his assistant Henri running the shop for the remaining two
days of the week, giving him and Scully time to catch up. He met her in the
kitchen for breakfast, Elena cooking Huevos Rancheros, a treat that he loved
"She is so skinny, Senor Mulder, are all American girls so
"Most of them."
Elena clucked her tongue against the top of her mouth and muttered
something about bearing children and needing hips.
Mulder nearly rolled his eyes but did not for fear that Elena would catch
him. She had scolded him and Alex many times for being rude in her presence.
She even cuffed Alex upside the head once for a rude remark made at the
dinner table. He watched her bustle around the kitchen; she was beaming that
they finally had a woman living in the house with them. He knew what she was
thinking, but she was going to get an awful surprise when Scully went back
Elena offered up a small prayer to God to help turn Senor Mulder around
and marry this woman, even if her hips were small.
After breakfast, Scully went upstairs to freshen up, while Mulder waited
for her in the parlor. She came downstairs soon after.
"What do you want to do today?"
"I was hoping you would quit stalling and tell me what's going on
"What do you mean, Scully?" Mulder tried to play innocent, but
she wouldn't have any of it.
"We need to talk about what happened to you and why you are here,
living with this man. And don't call me Scully."
Mulder sighed and motioned for them to sit outside on the patio. It had
warmed up considerably from yesterday, and he suddenly could use some fresh
air. They sat in the wicker chairs, facing each other.
"You know, it's such a long story, Dana, I'm not sure you want to
hear it all."
She sat back, folded her arms across her chest and raised one of her
eyebrows. "I'm here for a month, I have the time."
Mulder sighed, "You want me to tell you everything?"
"Everything." Scully looked at her watch "You'd better get
going, you've already wasted 30 seconds."
"C'mon, Dana, it's not for the faint of heart." He looked at
her, trying to use his best downfallen expression.
"Fox, when have you ever known me to be faint of heart? I tell you
everything. I even told you about Frohike."
"True." Mulder chewed on his lower lip for a second while he
thought about the gravity of what he was about to reveal to her. "I
want you to promise to remain calm until I'm finished the whole story,
"I promise." She looked at her watch again, "One minute
"Okay, but you asked for it."
Mulder licked his lips and began from when he was shipped overseas. He
told her about the bombing runs that were no more than routine flights for
him, returning to England afterwards for beer and pats on the back. The mood
in England was high, almost jovial. No one doubted they would win the war,
and every man who fought was a hero. Then the awful day came when his plane
was shot down, and he had to jump out of his burning bomber with a parachute
strapped to his back, and little else for survival. Her eyes grew wide as he
told her of his attempts to reach France, the cold and rain hampering his
efforts. He almost made it, but was captured by the Germans instead.
They were interrupted once by Elena who brought them a pot of tea and a
plate of baked goods, before returning to her home to cook the mid-day meal
for her family.
Mulder poured the tea and continued to tell his tale. His descriptions of
the camps and the conditions made her reel in horror and wonder aloud how
human beings could treat each other this way. Then came the prison. Mulder
hesitated, chewing on his lower lip for a minute before he told her what
tortures he was subjected to and who did it to him. He tried to make it
clear that Alex had just been doing his job, but he knew she probably
wouldn't be able to understand that.
Mulder watched as Scully turned a paler shade of white with each
description of what Alex had done to him. Her mouth was open and he swore
she was trembling when he explained about the deals he had made with Alex
for food, cigarettes and water. She shook her head when he described how he
was turned into his servant, and the tenderness that followed. He noticed
she was now getting angry, the initial shock over. He related how he shot
the two American soldiers to defend his lover and how Alex's friend,
Pendrell, helped them escape. Two spots of red showed high on her cheeks as
he described the horrors on the ship and their subsequent arrival here in
His tone changed and his voice softened as he spoke of Alex trying to
help him with his anxieties, his fears. How the nightly deprogramming
sessions had made him a stronger man. He did not leave out the arguments, or
the fights that they had as their relationship progressed. He ended his tale
by telling Scully how much he loved Alex, and how they planned to spend the
rest of their lives together.
They sat in silence for a few minutes before Scully took a deep breath
and began to speak. "Fox, while I am happy that you are alive and well
after such an ordeal, I have to ask you with complete sincerity if you are
out of your mind!"
Mulder looked down at the small table between them, his heart sinking
when he heard those words. While he didn't expect her to embrace what he had
just told her, he didn't want her to be so angry.
Scully collected her thoughts and calmed down before speaking again.
"When you told me in your letter that you had fallen in love with
another man, I was against the idea. I was taught that men don't lie
together, that it is a sin. I didn't know who I could talk to about this,
about what had happened to you. I finally decided to consult my priest who
also said it was a sin. He told me to pray for you and to feel sorry for
you, because you have fallen. I didn't dare tell my mother; she is still
grieving for Melissa who had been killed in France working as a nurse just
before you left for Europe. She was heartbroken when you were put on the MIA
list; she sobbed for days that there would be no wedding. For weeks, I
wondered what would lead you to this decision to be with another man. I
wondered if it was something I did, something to drive you away. Then one
night, I had a dream. I dreamt that Missy came to see me, and she said that
you were safe and in love and I should be happy for you. That's when I
decided to write you the letter and come to see you. I needed to see for
myself that you are genuinely happy, that this is not some sort of temporary
Scully stopped talking for a minute and traced the rim of her tea cup
with her finger. "My mother, by the way, thinks that you are in a
hospital with amnesia. It would kill her if she knew the truth. Thank God
she has a house full of grandchildren and a daughter-in-law to take care of
while Bill is at sea to keep her mind off of this."
Mulder winced when Scully told him that she had lied for him. She never
lied for anyone.
She took another deep breath. "Slowly, I came to realize that your
happiness means more to me than the prejudices I may have inside. I can
accept your relationship with a man, but not this man. Fox, you are living
with the man who raped you and beat you and kept you as a pet for his own
pleasure; have you gone mad?"
"Dana, it's...it's not like that anymore, Alex is different
now." He saw her face change from composed anger to rage.
"I can't believe I'm hearing this. Fox, he tortured people for a
"It was war, Dana. If you get right down to it, the bombs I dropped
probably killed hundreds, maybe thousands, more people than he did. So which
of us is worse?"
"You were a soldier doing your duty. He looked into people's eyes
and killed them!" Like so many people, Dana apparently believed that
killing from a distance was somehow cleaner, more humane, than up close.
"But even aside from that, you fell in love with your captor; it's not
right. He forced you into this relationship."
"He didn't force me into anything; as a matter of fact, he made it
well known that I could leave at any time. I know it sounds strange, but
Alex really does care for me. Why do you think he worked so hard to get me
out of prison?"
"So he could have you when he wanted you and not have his superiors
looking over his shoulder! Why do you think that he moved you into
"So he could protect me."
Scully snorted, "Bullshit."
"You heard me, bullshit!"
Mulder was too shocked to say anything. Whereas she was used to hearing
profanity, she rarely let those words pass her lips. He knew he should not
have told her; he knew she wouldn't understand. He also knew that Alex was
not going to be happy about this. He put his head in his hands and looked
down at his shoes for a good five minutes before speaking again.
"Look, Dana, I really want you to understand. I really want you to
see that Alex is a good man. We went over everything that happened together
and agreed that the past is the past. Yes, agreed, he was a bastard, but he
is not a bastard anymore. He loves me, Dana, and I love him.
Unfortunately, whatever you say isn't going to change my mind. I am
dedicated to him."
Scully got out of her chair and went back inside the house.
Mulder sat there for a minute until he heard the front door slam. He ran
through the house and out the front door, catching up with her as she put on
her coat and hat. She was walking quickly down the street, ignoring Mulder's
presence beside her.
"Where are you going?"
"Leave me alone."
"Dana, don't leave, don't be this way, let's talk." He grabbed
She stopped and looked down at his hand on her arm, then back at him.
"Fox, if you want to keep your male anatomy intact, I suggest you let
go of my arm. Now!"
Mulder quickly let go of her, shocked again that words of that nature
would pass her lips. He watched her storm off down the street for a few
minutes, until he put his hands in his pockets and turned towards his house,
noticing the curtains in various windows along the street ruffling shut. Great,
more rumors and gossip for them to spread.
Two hours later, Elena returned to cook the evening meal, finding Mulder
sitting by himself in the parlor. She made him a cup of coffee and patted
him on the head, not wanting to know what happened between him and his lady
friend. She sighed to herself and offered another silent prayer before
starting the preparations.
Mulder was getting worried. Alex would be home soon, and he didn't want
to have to explain what had happened. Finally, she came back and went up to
her room, shutting the door behind her. Mulder knocked on her door.
"Dana? Are you alright?"
"Fox, I need to think about what is going on here. I want to be
Mulder bit his lower lip again and cursed silently. "Okay. Do you
"No. I can't eat. Please, just leave me alone."
"Okay. If you need anything, just ask..."
Mulder turned and went downstairs to pour himself a stiff shot of scotch.
What the hell was he going to tell Alex? Might as well start with the truth.
He sat Alex down when he got home from work and confessed what he told
Scully. He was not pleased.
"What ever possessed you to tell her such things!" Alex hissed
at him. "Pendrell doesn't even know those things!"
"I wanted to come clean, to tell her the truth. I've never lied to
her before, and I wasn't going to start now."
"This is different. That was a crazy...fucked up time that no one
will understand except those that were there."
Mulder sat on the couch, his head in his hands. Alex paced for a minute,
his hands clenching and unclenching before sitting down beside Mulder and
rubbing his back. While he understood Mulder's need to tell the truth, he
was still angry at him for revealing their private secrets. They decided
that now that it was out in the open, there was nothing they could do about
They hardly ate their dinner, gaining disapproving looks from Elena, then
went to bed early, the events turning over and over in Mulder's mind,
keeping him awake. Finally, he got up and went to his library to read,
falling asleep in the overstuffed chair.
Alex woke up alone in the middle of the night. He felt the sheets beside
him; they were cold. He struggled on with his robe and padded down the
hallway to where he knew Mulder would be. He shook his shoulder, "Fox.
Fox, wake up."
Mulder looked up at Alex, reaching up to grab the hand that was at his
Alex sunk down beside Mulder's chair and put his head on his lap.
"Come to bed; I cannot sleep without you beside me."
Mulder stroked Alex's hair, tracing his fingers along the outline of his
ear. He loved Alex's ears; they were small and tapered at the ends, and they
fit his face so perfectly. "I keep thinking about Dana. She hates
"I'm sure she does not hate you. Don't punish yourself for my
wrongdoings, Fox; she is mad at me, not you."
"She is mad at me for loving you."
Alex squeezed Mulder's legs as he spoke into Mulder's lap. "I can
see why she would question our relationship; it did not start out in a
normal way. Nothing about us seems to be normal in other people's
"I think we're normal."
"As do I, but you know how people let their prejudices, hatred and
misunderstandings blind them."
Mulder sighed, heavy tears about to fall any minute. "I want her to
accept me, to accept us."
"Fox, you are not going to change people's attitude's overnight, we
have witnessed that first hand. Unfortunately, all you can do is wait and
hope that eventually she accepts you for who you are."
Mulder was weeping now, the tears falling on Alex's head. "All I
ever wanted was my friend back. I wanted what you and Pendrell have; you got
reacquainted and slid right back into the routines that you had before the
war. I missed Dana so much; I wanted to share our happiness with her. And
now...now I fear that I've lost her forever."
Alex moved up to sit in Mulder's lap, his arms around him, rocking him
gently. He kissed his hair and squeezed him tight. "Ssssshhh, don't
cry, my love." He was silent for a moment, "I wish I could do
something, Fox. I wish I could take your pain away." Tears sprang to
Alex's eyes as he listened to his lover sob.
He rocked Mulder some more and kissed his forehead, "You know, Fox,
Pendrell understands because he was there. He does not question our actions,
because he had to face the horrors of war as well. Dana, however, is just
experiencing it now, as many other people are. For the first time, people
are coming home from the war and telling their families and loved ones first
hand what really happened. It is shocking to the person who has not seen it
for themselves. We should never forget what happened, yet at the same time,
we should not let what happened control our lives. We have understood that
and moved on. You need to give her time, Fox, time to analyze what happened
to you and what you have become. I am sorry to say though that she may never
accept you, or me for that matter; it's up to her."
Mulder sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve.
"Tell you what, Fox. If she wants to stay, she is more than welcome
to stay in our home; I will never turn her away. But if she wants to go, you
should let her go. And, alternatively, if she wants to stay in Argentina,
but not in this house, I have a suite at the hotel she may use."
"Nonsense, anything to make my love happy again. Look at you, your
beautiful eyes are so red and sullen. I cannot bear to see you unhappy. My
beautiful Fox, I love you so much." He kissed Mulder, his face swollen
from his crying. "I will talk to Dana, if you like."
"No," Mulder sniffed. "No, don't. I want to work this out
with her myself. Tomorrow I'll ask her if she wants to go home."
Alex kissed Mulder's lips again, "I hope she stays. I know how much
she means to you."
They sat together, embraced until Alex stood up. "Come, Fox, let's
go to bed. Maybe things will be better in the morning." Alex took
Mulder's hand and led him down the hallway to their bedroom, shutting the
door behind them.
Dana Scully hid in the shadows in the hallway, tear tracks staining her
face. She too wanted Mulder to be happy, but she couldn't let Alex into her
heart. Those things Mulder told her were just too much to bear. She silently
walked back to her bedroom and shut the door, lying on her bed until
Alex had left for work early again, wanting to give Fox and Dana some
space. He hid in his office, not wanting to talk to anyone until Pendrell
came in. When he finally did, he took one look at his friend and started to
worry. Alex's eyes were red-rimmed, his face was puffy, and it looked like
he didn't sleep a wink last night, which was the truth.
"Alex, are you okay?" Pendrell sat down in the chair across
from him, concern in his eyes.
Alex put his head in his hands and sighed miserably, "No."
"What's the matter? Did something happen to Fox?"
"No, not exactly. He told his friend Dana everything about our life
in Germany, which she is not pleased about. Now, she is angry with him for
staying with me, and very angry with me for doing those things to her
friend. She does not understand."
"He told her everything? The camps, the prison, the escape?"
"Everything. Including how we met and every single thing that
happened between us while he was my prisoner. He wanted to be honest with
Pendrell let out a whistle and sat there looking at his miserable friend.
While they never shared the intimate details of what they did to whom,
Pendrell knew Alex was ruthless with Mulder. He had heard that he had done
terrible things to him in exchange for food and cigarettes. When he found
out that they were lovers, he was shocked, but that wore off quickly. He had
known Alex all of his life and knew that once he had made up his mind to do
something, nothing was going to stop him. He also knew that if he loved
someone, he loved them with an intense fierceness and passion.
Pendrell let out his breath, "It does take some getting used to,
seeing you two together after what happened."
Alex sighed again, "I told Fox to give her some time, maybe she will
They sat there in silence for a few minutes before Pendrell spoke,
"Tell you what? Why don't I come over for dinner tonight, to break the
ice, maybe I can lighten the burden of you having to talk to her."
"You just want a free meal."
"I am getting sick of restaurant food."
Alex grinned. He felt so lucky to have such a good friend, "Okay,
come distract us all from our problems, even if it will only be for a couple
Mulder came downstairs to find Scully in the kitchen drinking coffee. He
had actually gotten some rest, falling asleep just before Alex got up to go
to work. He poured himself a mug of coffee and sat down across from her at
the table, sunlight streaming through the window, making her hair glow in a
red halo around her head.
"She said she was going to start on the laundry. There are muffins
if you want one for breakfast."
"Thank you." Mulder took a few sips of coffee before he decided
to speak, "Look, Dana, if you want to leave, I'll understand..."
"Fox, wait," she cut him off. "I did some thinking last
night. When you told me all the terrible things Alex had done to you, I was
so angry. I was angry at him for doing them to you, I was angry at you for
being with him, I was angry there was ever a war. I'm not pleased that you
are living with Alex, but if it is what you want, then I can't stop
Mulder looked up at her with tears in his eyes, "Thank you."
"Fox, I want you to do something for me, I want you to look me in
the eye and tell me you love him."
Mulder looked across into Dana's eyes, "I love him with all my
Scully knew he was telling the truth. She reached across and squeezed his
hand for a moment, then let go. "It's almost noon, why don't you get
dressed and take me somewhere nice for lunch?"
"Gee, Scully, you're getting a little pushy. Shouldn't you let the
man ask you out to lunch?"
"Hmph, if I did that, I'd probably starve to death, and don't call
me Scully. By the way, I'm not going anywhere until you show me every inch
of this city."
Mulder snickered to himself as he finished his coffee. He then went
upstairs to change. He was glad Scully had thought about things. That was
the great thing about her, she was very analytical; she thought things
through and looked at them from every angle before making a decision. He
just hoped she wouldn't hate Alex for the rest of her life.
They went for lunch and shopped the rest of the day, slowly winding their
way down the streets, taking their time. He wanted to stop in and say hi to
Alex, but Mulder thought better of it. He didn't want to ruin the mood.
They were in the parlor when Alex came home from work. He greeted them,
telling them and Elena that Pendrell would be joining them for dinner.
Mulder followed him when he went upstairs to change.
"How was your day? You look terrible."
"Thank you, I love you too." Alex gave Mulder a kiss. "I'm
just tired. How was your day?"
"I see you both are talking to each other."
"She's still mad at you, but she wants me to be happy, so she has
called a truce."
"Thank God for that. I don't care if she hates me, but I don't want
you to suffer because of it."
"I don't want her to hate you, though."
"Like I said last night, she will need time."
Alex hugged Mulder, grateful that he and Dana had worked things out.
Earlier today, he had been debating whether to start working late nights to
avoid confrontation. He was glad that it wasn't going to come to that since
he didn't want to give up his time with Mulder. "Look, I have an hour
before Pendrell gets here, I am going to lie down until then. Please give my
regards to Dana and wake me when he gets here, okay?"
Mulder kissed Alex and left him in their room to rest while he went back
downstairs. Pendrell arrived an hour later with a bottle of wine. Mulder led
him into the parlor, where he stopped still in his tracks.
"Dana Scully, meet Sean Pendrell."
Scully held out her hand, "It's nice to meet you."
Pendrell grabbed Scully's hand and kissed it, causing her to raise her
eyebrow. He held her hand for some time before dropping it. Mulder noticed
that Pendrell was sweating and was unusually quiet. Finally, Pendrell found
his voice, "It is a great pleasure to meet you."
Pendrell shoved the bottle of wine at Mulder and sat down beside Scully
on the couch. Mulder put the bottle of wine on the bar and went to fetch
Alex, leaving Pendrell and Scully to get acquainted, making small talk. Soon
the four of them were around the dinner table, Pendrell being quite the
gentleman, pouring wine for Scully, holding out her chair for her when they
sat down. He was practically ignoring Mulder and Alex as he chatted with
Mulder and Alex traded glances over the dinner table, watching Pendrell
trying to woo Scully.
"Sean, that's not very German, is it?" she asked.
"My mother is Irish."
"His mother isn't Irish, she's a sadist," Alex said.
"What do you mean?" Scully asked.
"She would make life miserable for poor Sean, making him do all
sorts of chores as punishment for the smallest of infractions."
"She was very strict."
"Strict! She made Genghis Kahn look like a choirboy!"
Pendrell looked at Alex, his eyes narrowing into a glare. He knew he was
trying to throw him off his plans to charm Scully.
"My mother was from Ireland. She met my father when he was working
there as a farm hand. When they got married, they went back to his native
Germany to live. She was a very angry woman..."
"That's an understatement."
Pendrell threw Alex a look that could have killed him. Alex took a sip of
wine and let his friend continue, his eyes mocking him.
"She was very angry for many reasons. She missed her home in
Ireland, she produced seven girls then waited five years after the last girl
before I came along. They wanted a boy so badly, they just kept trying until
they got one. My father died when I was young, leaving her with eight
children to raise by herself. She had a lot to be bitter about."
"Seven girls?" Scully asked.
"Yes, and they all took after their father, large boned, strong.
That combined with inheriting their mother's temper made life a living hell
for us. Ours were the only two houses at the end of a country road on the
outskirts of Danzig. They had nothing to do but chase us and torment us,
until they got married off, one by one." Alex smirked at the memory.
"It wasn't that bad, Alex."
"Hmph, I was black and blue until I was twelve years old!"
"Where is your mother now?"
"She went back to Ireland when the war started."
"And she is probably still unhappy."
Pendrell rolled his eyes and continued the tales of Alex and him when
they were young. Mulder was happy everyone was getting along so well. When
it was time for Pendrell to leave, he got nervous and stumbled out the door
to his car, his feet seeming to fail him. Alex shook his head as he shut the
Later, in their room, they laughed over Pendrell's obvious attraction to
Scully. Mulder felt uneasy, however. Pendrell had been around, had loved
many men and women. What was to say that he wouldn't love and leave Scully
in the same way. He confessed his fear to Alex, who held him for a moment
"Fox, Dana is a strong woman, she won't let him do that to
"If he does, I swear, I'll kill him."
"I think she'd beat you to it." Alex kissed Mulder on the
forehead. "You know, that's how she feels about me."
Mulder thought about it for a minute, "I guess you're right. I
realize now that she wants to protect me."
"Exactly. Now, we should get some sleep, as we will have him tagging
along tomorrow for our drive in the country, we are going to need energy for
Mulder chuckled, nuzzling against Alex's throat. "Just how tired are
"That depends on what you have in mind," Alex gasped, rolling
onto his back to give Mulder better access.
"I thought I'd like to make love to the man I love," Mulder
murmured around his mouthful of Alex's throat. "I want to show you how
much I love you so you can never doubt it."
Mulder raised his head to grin evilly at him. "But don't forget
Dana's just down the hall, so you have to be quiet."
Alex groaned. "You are a truly evil man, Fox, a torturer in
"I learned from the best," Mulder replied, surprising Alex with
his ability to make jokes about the subject. Alex took that as a sign that
Mulder was truly healed now. That was his last coherent thought for some
time since Fox decided to move on by swallowing his cock to the root in one
motion. He nearly screamed at the sensation, only Fox's hand over his mouth
Alex jerked uncontrollably under Fox's ministrations, already on the
brink after only a few moments of his Fox's mouth. Fox suckled on him, his
tongue never still as he drove Alex into a frenzy. When he could tell that
Alex was about to come, he pulled off, grinning at Alex's groan and curses.
"Shh, lover," he soothed, "trust me. Hold on a little
while longer until I'm deep inside you, until we can come together. Just
imagine how it'll feel if you can wait for me."
Alex shuddered at Fox's words, breathed directly into his ear, and he
spread his legs wide for his lover. Mulder hastily applied lubrication to
Alex and to himself, then pressed again his entrance. He stared into Alex's
eyes as he thrust, seeing the flare of pleasure as Alex shoved a fist into
his own mouth to prevent a scream of pleasure from escaping.
They moved together, Fox driving deeper with every stroke and Alex trying
to get closer still. Fox reached for Alex's hand, intertwining their
fingers, and he leaned down to kiss him, his tongue plunging into Alex's
mouth in time with his cock in his ass. No matter how much they wanted to
prolong the pleasure, soon it overwhelmed them, and they came together, Fox
driving so deep that he thought they might merge forever.
After a few minutes Mulder forced himself up just long enough to clean
them up, then snuggled down beside Alex, his warmth and caresses soon
soothing him into sleep.
For the rest of Scully's visit, they toured around, showing her the
sights and the shops. She met their friend Mr. Grey, and he tried to charm
her as much as Pendrell did. During the week, she would go for walks, often
visiting Mulder in his shop and staying throughout the afternoon. Pendrell
heard about this and would often come over to take her out for lunch. Mulder
was amazed at Pendrell's restraint and gentleman-like manner; he hadn't even
tried to kiss Scully yet. He knew this because she had grumbled to Mulder by
the third week that even Frohike gave her a kiss after the fourth date.
Mulder tried to hide his relief with a laugh; he didn't want him touching
her until the fortieth date!
One morning, Alex went downstairs late, to get a coffee and read the
newspaper. He had worked very late the night before and told his staff he
wouldn't be in until noon. He saw Scully on the patio, reading a book,
enjoying the mid-morning sunshine. He hesitated for a minute before opening
the French doors and stepping outside to join her.
Alex sat down and opened his newspaper. He sat there, staring at the
page, not reading the words, This is stupid. He put the newspaper
down on the table.
"Dana, why don't you stay?"
Scully put down her book and looked at him, her blue eyes like chunks of
cold ice. "Stay?"
"Yes, stay. Fox is already dreading your leaving. Not to mention
that Pendrell's heart would be broken if you left."
Scully raised her eyebrow, "And you?"
"Me? Whatever you decide is fine with me." He looked away, then
back up at her. "I'm not going to lie to you, Dana. You and I are not
friends and may never be, but you are important to Fox and that makes you
important to me. I want him to be happy, even if that means accepting your
"Fox told me what happened over in Germany."
"I hated you. I wanted to kill you for what you did to him. The only
thing that held me back was that I didn't want to hurt him any more than he
had been hurt already."
Alex swallowed; Dana Scully was definitely a force to be reckoned with.
"Now, I am starting to like you...slightly. I see how happy you two
are together, and I don't want to take that away from Fox; he deserves
it." Scully then leaned over the small table that separated them,
"I'll tell you this, though. If you ever hurt him again, I will
Alex's eyes widened. No woman had ever talked this way to him before, but
he didn't doubt her threat. He watched as she sat back and crossed her arms
across her chest, as calm as if she told him the weather forecast for today.
"I am never going to hurt him again, Dana; I can promise you that. I
love him more than I have ever loved anyone." Scully's gaze cut right
down to his core, and he felt a shiver go up his back.
"Good. I have actually been thinking of staying in Argentina for
over a week now. My mother is happy that Fox is well, and she does not have
any qualms about me being here with him. She will never, ever know the
truth, however, not if I have anything to do with it. Yes, I'll stay, but
I'm not staying here. Not only do I not want to overstay my welcome, but I
like being on my own. I will need my own apartment."
"Yes, of course, I'll call Grey, he can help us find you something
quite suitable, I'm sure." Alex rose to use the telephone.
Alex turned to face Scully, "Yes?"
"You are quite welcome." He stepped inside and visibly shook
for a second before picking up the telephone.
Mulder was ecstatic that Scully was staying. He tried to help her choose
an apartment, but Pendrell beat him to the punch, guiding her around,
leading her with his hand in the small of her back. A twinge of jealousy
rose up inside Mulder, she was his friend, not Pendrell's. But then he saw
them together and understood the bond that had formed between them. Soon,
she was moved into her apartment and started working for the United States
The day after she moved, Mulder walked around the house; it felt so empty
without Scully. She had only been here a month, but her presence had been
powerful. He returned downstairs to Alex, who was listening to the radio and
reading a book. Mulder had ordered some books in German for him, giving them
to him for his birthday. He settled down across from Alex in one of the
wing-backed chairs and started to read the newspaper.
Soon after, Alex reached over and stroked Mulder's arm, "I'm going
to bed. I think I will have a bath first."
Mulder grunted, engrossed in the newspaper.
Alex frowned, reached forward and tore the newspaper out of Mulder's
hands, "I said I am going to bed and I am having a bath."
Mulder's eyes widened. "Oh!"
Alex swiftly stood and grabbed Mulder's hand, leading him upstairs. With
their guest in the house, they had not had a bath together in over a month.
Quickly, they arrived in the bedroom, both men flushed at the anticipation
of what was to happen next.
Mulder's hand went up to cup Alex's face, his thumb dragging along the
stubble that had grown there since this morning. He smiled at him before
leaning in and kissing him gently, making the kiss last for a long time.
Hands moved across backs and down to untuck dress shirts and up to unbutton
them. Ties were undone and flung over a chair and trouser buttons were
popped with one hand, while the other undid zippers, soon leaving each man
clad only in their tented boxers. Slowly, these were removed as well, heated
skin pressing up against heated skin, erections rubbing together.
Alex finally broke the kiss, his pupils dilated, his breathing quick. He
once again took his lover's hand and led him into their bathroom. He turned
the taps, located in the middle of the tub, ensuring the water was warm
before they stepped in. While they waited for the tub to fill, they explored
each other's bodies with their hands and mouths, moaning when it was time to
submerge themselves in the warm water.
They washed each other, as always paying special attention to the
sensitive parts, moaning and sighing until they were clean. Then each man
sat back at opposite ends of the tub, legs down the length, crossed over
each other's to give them room.
Mulder and Alex sat there, facing each other, teasing each other with
their feet. Mulder had one foot under Alex's ass, rubbing the back of his
scrotum with his big toe. Alex had his foot in Mulder's crotch, stroking his
cock with his foot, making him bite his lower lip and close his eyes. One
look was all that was needed to tell each man that they were ready to leave
the sanctuary of the water.
They got out of the tub and proceeded to dry each other off, rubbing each
other briskly with the towels, until they could stand it no longer and fell
into bed. There they began their explorations again with their mouths and
tongues, taking nipples between teeth, teasing them into hard buds, stroking
erections harder, marking each other, claiming each other as their own.
"Love me, Fox."
Mulder leaned over for the lubricant and prepared him and his lover. When
he was ready, Mulder plunged into Alex and felt his legs come to wrap around
his back. Together they rocked their way into bliss, moans of contentment
leaving each mouth. Then they were at rest, kissing each other, wanting to
taste more of each other. Finally, the kisses lessened in intensity and
became less frequent, both men smiling at each other. Strong arms wrapped
around each other and legs entwined as they settled down and into sleep,
grateful they had each other to wake up to in the morning.
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