Part of the SAC-2003
"Weíre the best friends in the world, Moony, arenít we?" Sirius asked, looking over at Remus and swallowing hard to keep from being ill. "The very best friends in the world. I mean, who else would give their mates a present of baby-sitting so those mates could go out and have a lovely Christmas Eve while we..." He grimaced again. "Change dirty nappies."
Remus stared at the wailing infant in horror. "Only total raving idiots," he groaned. "Merlin, Siri, I can smell it from here. Isnít there a spell?" he begged desperately.
"Lily said no transfiguring them or Harry. Can you think of anything else?" Sirius gingerly picked his crying godson up out of the crib, bumping his head on the mobile hanging over it and causing the enchanted animals hanging from it to roar, growl and squawk in protest.
"Do you think we could accio them away? Maybe it wouldnít be so bad from a distance." Remus was grasping at straws since he had a sinking suspicion they were going to have to do this by hand. "Donít drop him!"
"Iím not going to drop him!" Sirius snapped, causing Harry to cry even harder. "If we accio them, theyíll be off him, but in our hands," he added, shuddering. "It seemed so easy when Lily showed us how to do it. He was smiling and laughing at her; whyís he screaming at us?"
"Because he knows we donít have the foggiest bloody idea what weíre doing!" Remus snapped right back, then waved his hand ineffectually as Harryís cries threatened to shake the ceiling down on them. "Oh hush, child," he pleaded. "Do something, Sirius!"
"Why me?" Sirius asked, setting Harry down on the contraption Lily had called a changing table, hoping against hope it would start changing the babyís dirty diaper by itself. When it didnít, he whimpered, "Iím going to be scarred for life," and started trying to undo the tiny snaps on Harryís pajamas.
"Because youíre his godfather and this was your brilliant idea." Remus eyed the baby warily. "I think you need these." He pulled out a fresh nappy, the powder, and the wipes, cringing as the odor grew. "I donít think we should have fed him those strained prunes."
Sirius nodded in agreement, swallowing hard to keep from gagging as he undid the diaper and opened it. His eyes widened at the size of the mess inside, and he looked over at Remus. "How could a little baby hold so much inside?"
Remus stared in goggle-eyed horror. "Bloody hell!" He shoved the dustbin toward Sirius to dispose of the horrid thing and snatched a handful of wipes, gagging as he hastily wiped the babyís bum. "Iím going to kill you for this, Sirius."
"Not if this kills me first," Sirius whimpered, recalling a bit too late that Lily had said to keep Harry covered while being changed or he was going to get a shower - all down the front of his shirt.
A faint sniggering sound escaped Remus. "Does that mean he likes you?"
"Bloody hell," Sirius muttered, grabbing the wipes and trying to clean the remaining mess off Harry when all he wanted to do was shriek like a girl and strip down. "Give me the clean one; Iíll get it under him while you get him with the powder."
"Lily does this by herself?" Remus marveled as the two of them somehow managed to get the nappy onto Harry, though he wasnít too certain that it was entirely secure. Fortunately the sleeper would keep it in place.
Grabbing his wand and spelling his shirt clean, Sirius then gingerly picked up the red-faced and still crying baby. He rested Harry on his shoulder and patted his back a few times. "She has to; I canít imagine Prongs doing this, can you?" He thought about that for a moment. "Next time, weíre going to make him do it."
"Bloody right!" Remus eyed the infant warily, hoping he wasnít going to spit up again. Their clothes were never going to be the same. "Do you think heíd sleep if you put him down?" he whispered hopefully.
Sirius turned his head to look at the baby and winced because Harry had his long hair clenched in his fist and was chewing on it. "I think heís hungry," he sighed. "I guess we should warm up a bottle because I am not trying that cereal again with him."
"You looked charming with it smeared across your cheek, Padfoot," Remus snickered, keeping his distance from Harryís chubby fists. Heíd already lost a hank of hair to the youngsterís quick hands, and heíd learned to be wary. "I suppose a bottle ought to be safe enough."
"So go and get it, and Iíll try to keep young Master Potter busy."
"You might want to get him out of your hair," Remus observed blandly as he started out of the room. "I think heís tangled in it up to his shoulder."
Sirius groaned and held onto Harry with one hand as he tried to get his now slobbery hair out of the boyís mouth and hand. "Weíre really going to have to have a talk about this," he muttered as he carried the baby to the living room and settled himself on the floor, leaning back against the sofa.
Remus arrived with the warmed bottle a few moments later and sank down beside Sirius, eyeing the clearly unhappy baby. "I donít know how parents do it. Youíre never quite sure whatís wrong when they wail." He offered the bottle to Sirius. "I hope this is what he wants."
"Thank Merlin weíll never have any of our own," Sirius said fervently, shifting Harry around so that he was lying in the crook of his arm before offering him the bottle.
"Agreed. This is quite traumatic enough." Remus watched the small mouth root for a moment before latching on to the rubber nipple with astounding ferocity. "Hungry little thing, isnít he? Glad Iím not Lily."
Sirius nodded, his expression gentling as he smiled down at his godson. "No wonder Lily hit me when I called her a milk cow though; look at him go."
"Youíre lucky she didnít brain you with a frying pan for that," Remus snorted. "No wonder he sleeps so much. Look at the energy he puts into eating." He reached out with a gentle forefinger to stroke the thick hair on the crown of Harryís head. "Heíll be one for his parents to be proud of, another Marauder someday."
"Damn right," Sirius murmured, looking down into Harryís green eyes, eyes that were remarkably like Lilyís though his hair was definitely Jamesí. "With his uncles teaching him whatís important, how can he go wrong?" He waggled his eyebrows, meaning exactly what he said.
"Best not let Lily hear you say that," Remus warned laughingly. "Iím certain she wouldnít approve. But Iím sure this lad will follow in our footsteps and keep all of Hogwarts on their toes when his time comes."
"Hold this for a minute." Sirius handed Remus the bottle and lifted Harry to his shoulder to burp him. As he patted the babyís back, he nodded. "Heíll go Gryffindor, thatís for certain."
Harry gave a loud belch, and both men nodded approvingly. "Want to give him the rest?" Sirius asked, as Remus held the bottle.
Remus eyed Harry. "No, he looks pretty sleepy to me. Maybe we should try putting him down again?" he suggested. "After that last diaper, we definitely donít want to give him more than he needs."
"Merlin, no!" Sirius cried, making Harry jump and whimper closer into his shoulder. "I donít know, he seems sort of comfortable here, might be easier to let him sleep like this, if you donít mind being at my beck and call while I play crib."
"Have I ever minded being at your beck and call?" Remus chuckled, smiling at the picture Sirius and Harry made. "You look sweet, Padfoot."
"Sweet? Ugh, thatís not a word I ever want associated with myself. Remind me to take back your Christmas present for that, Moony."
Remus shook his head emphatically. "I think not. And Iím afraid itís too late, regardless. You look adorable with Harry there napping on your shoulder." He shifted closer, leaning against Sirius, careful not to squash or disturb the baby.
Sirius grumbled, none too convincingly, and shifted his hold on Harry so that he could wrap his arm around Remusí shoulders. "Donít tell anyone I said this, but this is sort of nice - the three of us here like this."
"It is, isnít it?" Remus laid his head on Siriusí shoulder, smiling at the tiny face so close to his. "And just think, we have years of Christmases with our family to look forward to."
"Buying Harry and whatever others come along the noisiest toys we can find and watching their parents go barmy," Sirius chuckled, kissing the top of Remusí head.
"Sounds like fun," Remus agreed, grinning. "And I hope they have at least one girl. Can you imagine Prongs glaring at the boys who dare to ask his daughter out?"
Sirius bit his lower lip to keep from laughing aloud and waking Harry. "Heíll spell a chastity belt on her and maybe on her dates too!"
Remus snickered. "Itís going to be fun watching them. Our family," he added fondly. "What more could we want?"
"Eggnog and plum pudding? My Christmas present? A shag in front of the fire while waiting for Father Christmas?" Sirius offered helpfully.
"While holding Harry? I think not!" Remus looked appalled. "Youíll just have to wait Ďtil we get home again, you horny bugger. But I will go get you that snack if you like. Wouldnít mind a bite to eat myself."
"Hrmmm, this respectable life definitely isnít for me, Harry," Sirius told his godson firmly. "But a sandwich or something would go down well if he gives us time to eat it."
"You keep him quiet, and Iíll go get us something and make a pot of tea." Remus brushed a kiss over Siriusí lips before pushing to his feet and padding off to find them a snack, humming Christmas carols under his breath.
He returned a bit later with a tray loaded down with tea, biscuits, sandwiches, and a plum pudding heíd found.
"Looks great," Sirius murmured, trying not to wake Harry, who was now sleeping on a blanket spread out on the floor next to him. "Why do James and Lily have better food than we do, Moony?"
"Because Lily can cook," Remus replied logically. "Weíre just a pair of bachelors muddling along."
Sirius nodded, gratefully accepting a mug of tea. "Good point as always, love. Arenít you glad weíve discovered the wonders of take-away?"
"Infinitely. I donít know how much longer I could have survived on tea, eggs and toast," Remus chuckled quietly, mindful of the sleeping child.
"And we have your parents feeding us supper tomorrow, so life will be grand."
"Mmmm, Christmas goose. I intend to make a right pig of myself." Remus took a bite of a biscuit, then offered it to Sirius.
Nibbling the biscuit down to Remusí fingertips, Sirius nipped at them as well, and smiled. "Thanks, love. Goose is all well and good, though I intend to make a right pig of myself on sweets in the morning."
"With the sweet tooth you have, itís a wonder youíre not as round as Peter and have any teeth left." Remus grinned at him. "Iíll just have to distract you from them."
"Considering youíre the sweet Iím most interested in, itís easy to see why neither of those things are true."
"Ah, thatís one habit I donít want you to break." Remus grinned at him over his tea before setting the mug aside to kiss Sirius.
Enjoying the taste of sweetened tea and Remus, Sirius held the other man into the kiss for quite some time. "Itís one habit I have no intention of breaking, ever," he purred before sighing and looking over at Harry. "But Iíll behave for now; once James and Lily get home and we can apparate back to the flat, however..." He grinned meaningfully. "I intend to unwrap my present in front of the fire."
"You donít think Iím going to object to that, do you? It sounds like a smashing idea to me." Remus stroked a hand over Siriusí chest, pausing to glance at Harry when he whimpered, but the child was just dreaming and settled back into silence immediately.
"I was hoping you wouldnít!" Sirius laughed, picking up a sandwich and offering it to Remus. "Now eat your meal like a good little werewolf so weíll have lots of energy for later on."
"Planning to wear me out, are you? This is going to be a very happy Christmas," Remus chuckled, accepting the sandwich and taking a big bite. "Now all we need is for James and Lily to get home so we can get to it." He glanced down at Harry again. "Though he is sweet, isnít he?"
"When he isnít showering me with various personal gifts," Sirius answered, shuddering at the memory.
Remus snickered. "He likes his godfather." He beamed at Sirius over the mug of tea of he was raising to his lips.
Sirius growled. "Watch it or Iíll teach him that youíre his godmother."
"You wouldnít do that to me," Remus replied confidently. "Because if you did, youíd be sleeping alone." He bit rather viciously into his sandwich.
"So Iíd be back to wanking, eh?" Sirius sighed forlornly. "Ah well, it served me before; itíll have to do again."
"I donít know. Itís been so long, you may need to practice your technique again. Wouldnít want to get it wrong, after all."
"Prat," Sirius muttered, picking up another sandwich and beginning to eat it. "Iíve a good mind to show you just how good my technique is, then leave you hanging."
"You wouldnít," Remus replied again. "Youíre even hornier than I am, especially when I do you. Which I would have to if youíd already wanked off."
"If thatís supposed to change my mind, itís not doing a very good job of it, Moony."
"That can be tomorrow. Or later tonight. But you promised to unwrap me in front of the fire, and Iím holding you to it. Or am I boring you already?" Remus teased, leaning back against the bottom of the sofa, one knee raised.
"If my darling godson wasnít sleeping next to us, Iíd offer to show you just how much you bore me."
"Hold that thought. You can follow through when we get home. Surely Prongs and Lily canít be much longer. Places must close soon." Remus only hoped they got back before Harry needed another change. Once had been more than enough.
"I just hope we donít find out that theyíve used this time to get her pregnant again," Sirius muttered. "Can you imagine watching two of them?"
Remus gave him a look of sheer horror. "No! Absolutely not. Never!"
Sirius bit his lip to keep from howling with laughter and waking Harry. "But what if they made you the new oneís godfather? Youíd have to offer to watch the little angel, and at least Harry would be older by then."
"Promise youíll kill me first."
"Sorry, thatís one promise I wonít make you." Harry squirmed around on the blanket, and Sirius reached over to pat his back until he settled down again, his thumb securely in his mouth.
Remus whimpered. "Maybe we could slip Lily a contraceptive potion. Two of them? They could conceivably both be in nappies at the same time, you know."
Siriusí eyes widened, and he shuddered. "Letís put one in their eggnog right now."
Remus chuckled. "Of course, if we did, we wouldnít have to worry about anything else since either Lily or James or both would kill us. I think theyíre planning their own Quidditch team."
"You mean theyíre going to give the Weasleys a run for their galleons? Donít they have five now, and I think Mollyís pregnant again."
"At least the Potters wonít all be carrot-tops," Remus chuckled. "And if they end up with that many, weíll hire a sitter for them as a gift, not do it ourselves."
"Merlin, yes!" Sirius laughed, looking over and breathing a sigh of relief when he heard the front door open. "Theyíre back, and weíll be free in a few minutes."
"Finally!" Remus exclaimed, though remembering to remain quiet so as not to wake Harry. He jumped to his feet and caught a startled James and Lily in a huge embrace as they walked in.
Lily laughed and peered around Remus toward where Sirius was sitting next to Harry. "Well, I see the two of you survived the evening on one piece."
"Barely," Sirius drawled, much to both the Pottersí amusement.
"You have my undying admiration," Remus said, "and now weíre going to run away." He grabbed hold of Siriusí hand to pull him to his feet.
"Wait a minute!" Sirius exclaimed, pulling back to stroke Harryís back and grin when the baby squirmed slightly. "Gínight, Harry, dream of all the mischief youíll get into at Hogwarts." That said, Sirius stood, wrapping his arms around Remusí waist. "Now donít the two of you get into trouble tonight; weíre only watching one for now!"
James and Lily shared a perplexed look.
"Ever!" Remus added emphatically. "You want your own Quidditch team, youíll have to find other sitters. Oneís our limit."
"Our own Quidditch team?" James looked from Remus to Sirius. "Have you two been nipping at the sherry while we were gone?"
"No," Sirius said adamantly, "not that we werenít tempted though! Weíre off, have a lovely Christmas, see you soon."
"Yes, Siriís promised to nip at me," Remus chuckled. He waved as Sirius pulled him toward the door while the Potters laughed at them both.
Once they were outside the cottage, Sirius sagged against Remus, breathing a sigh of relief. "I love them all, but hit me on the head if I ever agree to do that again," he moaned. "Harry peed on me, Remus!"
"And spit up too," Remus reminded him cheerfully. "I might take it personally were I you, Sirius."
Sirius glared at his much too happy lover. "Next time, you can feed and change him, understand?"
"Next time weíll pay to hire a sitter," Remus replied. "Then James and Lily can go out, and we can stay home and shag."
"Sounds perfect to me." Sirius hugged Remus close and kissed his neck. "So, Moony, care to go have a snog by the fireplace and try to scare Father Christmas when he comes?"
"What are we waiting for?" Remus laughed. "Though Iím hoping for some shagging as well as snogging."
Stepping back, Sirius blew a kiss in Remusí direction. "See you at the flat!" he called before vanishing.
"Sirius!" Remus had to wait till he stopped laughing before he could apparate home as well, hoping Sirius would ready for him when he got there.
"There you are, Moony! I was wondering what took you so long," Sirius called from where he was sprawled in front of the fireplace, wearing only a festive wreath on his head and several strategically placed sprigs of holly at his groin.
"Oh my. Seasons greetings indeed." Remus made haste to shed his jumper and jeans, nearly falling over before he remembered to pull his shoes and socks off, his boxers vanishing along with the denim trousers before he fell to his knees at Siriusí side. "Remind me to have babies pee on you more often if this is the result," he teased, grinning.
"Prat," Sirius grumbled, rolling his eyes. "This has nothing to do with Harry and everything to do with you."
"Iím very glad to hear it. Since Iíve no intention of ever sharing you with anyone." Remus bent over and bit sharply at one nipple, then laved the reddened ring his teeth left around it.
"Moony! Thatís my godson youíre talking about," Sirius groaned, his features twisting with disgust before softening as he gave a desire-filled moan. "Though Iíll mention the idea again if it causes that reaction."
"To quote a very wise man, that had nothing to do with Harry and everything to do with you." Remus gave the other nipple the same treatment, then stretched up so he could reach Siriusí lips to kiss him.
Once he could speak again, Sirius licked his lips, smiling into Remusí eyes. "Oh good, I would have worried if youíd have been thinking about anyone else while driving me barmy." He pushed up to his hands and knees, the holly sprigs falling away unnoticed, and crawled over Remus to stare down at him.
"As if I ever could." Remus raised his arms to drape them around Siriusí neck, his fingers delving into the thick black hair. "Now this is my idea of how to celebrate the season. Shall we have a Bacchanalia to celebrate Saturnalia?"
"No wine, but I think I can drink my fill of other things," Sirius rasped, dipping his head lower to nuzzle Remusí neck.
"I like the sound of that." Remus spread his legs so Sirius could settle between them and arched upward, rubbing against him before falling back to the floor. "We may frighten away Father Christmas at that."
"Will you mind just having my present then?" Sirius asked, pressing lower to rub his body against Remusí.
"I already do. I have you. Thereís nothing I want more."
"Well, youíre just going to have to take the present too, or youíll hurt my feelings," Sirius murmured, smiling down at Remus before kissing him.
"Canít have that, so I guess Iíll just have to buck up and take it like a man."
"Well, I was hoping that was going to be the case as I really donít want to see you transfigured to a woman."
"Youíd just miss me taking you. We both know how much you like riding me." Remus grinned at him before grasping handfuls of his hair and pulling him down into another kiss.
"Almost as much as I like you riding me," Sirius chuckled, biting at Remusí mouth and grinding his body against the other manís.
"Both are good," Remus agreed breathlessly. "Weíll have to try them both again to see if we can decide which is better. And keep trying them till we do. The sacrifices we make for fairness."
"They should nominate us for sainthood," Sirius nodded.
"I donít want to sit around in a muggle church for the rest of my days," Remus snorted. "Forget saints and concentrate on me." He grasped Siriusí ass, letting his nails dig in slightly, and pulled.
"And doing things that would make the saints blush." That said, Sirius kissed Remus hungrily and rubbed against him, groaning with pleasure. "I want to get you messy tonight, Moony. To have you smell like me all over."
"Do you hear me arguing?" Remus grinned. "Padfoot can go right ahead and mark his territory. Moony will get his chance later."
Sirius couldnít help but snicker at that. "Do you really want me doing that?" he asked.
Remus frowned. "Not that way, you prat!" He suddenly flipped them over and knelt straddling his laughing lover. "If you canít play nice..." He shifted back until Siriusí erection was nestled between his cheeks and rocked slightly.
"You know just how nicely I can play," Sirius answered, rolling them over once again, somehow managing to keep the wreath on his head. "And I want to play with you, love, the best present Iíve ever gotten." He continued to rock against Remusí body, feeling his loverís erection rubbing against his own.
"Whatever you want." Remus forced himself to relax beneath Sirius, giving himself over to the other man. "Anything you want."
"Easy enough answer there: you, all the time."
"If people only knew what a softie Sirius Black really is," Remus laughed softly. "But thatís my secret."
Sirius growled. "Dunno, thought I was pretty hard myself."
"Some parts of you are, deliciously so. So what are you going to do with them?" Remus tilted his hips and rubbed against Sirius, trying to tease him into taking him.
"Thought Iíd get inside you so deeply that you scream," Sirius breathed, groaning as Remus slid against him.
"Oh, very good plan. Please go right ahead." Remus raised his legs to wrap them around Siriusí waist, gasping as their cocks rubbed together.
"Glad you approve, Moony." Sirius reached for the lube heíd placed nearby and slid down Remusí body, nuzzling each bit of flesh as it appeared under his face.
"You doubted it?" Remus stroked Siriusí hair, writhing beneath him, reveling in the sensation of flesh on flesh.
"You? Never," Sirius assured him, tracing his tongue around the shallow indentation of the other manís navel.
"Oh good. Hate to think I was sliding into celibacy." Remus moaned and squirmed as Sirius teased him, his hands releasing Siriusí hair to stroke him shakily, needing to touch him as well.
"Remus J. Lupin, how dare you say that!" Siriusí head shot up, and he stared at Remus, aghast.
"Well, itís been so long since you touched me that I was starting to wonder."
Instead of answering, Sirius dipped his head back down and mouthed Remusí shaft, licking at the flared head and humming at the musky taste of his arousal.
Remus wailed softly, hips thrusting upward, and he grasped Siriusí shoulders desperately. He writhed, his legs spreading wider as he braced himself to push up, trying to get deeper inside Siriusí mouth.
Sirius held himself still, allowing Remus to take his mouth as he wanted, his own cock throbbing with need.
When Sirius remained motionless, Remus began thrusting, whining Siriusí name as he slid in and out of that moist heat. "Merlin, please," he gasped.
"Hmmm?" Sirius murmured, knowing the vibrating of his mouth around Remusí cock would drive the other man mad.
Remus wailed, his nails digging into Sirius shoulders as he pushed deeper inside his mouth and came so hard he blacked out for a second.
Swallowing down Remusí come, Sirius pulled back and licked his lips. "Damn, that was hot, Moony. Moony? Remus?" When the other man didnít respond, Sirius groaned and leaned his head on Remusí chest. "Might just be a Christmas wank for me after all."
Remusí eyes fluttered open, and he drew in a breath as the first thing he saw was Siriusí fist stroking himself. "Want that in me, so donít waste it," he mumbled.
Sirius chuckled and leaned in to brush a kiss over Remusí lips. "Thought you were going to stay out of it, but if you insist..." He picked up the container of lube, dipped two fingers in it, and pressed them into Remusí body.
"Ah!" Remus bit his lip as he opened to Siriusí invasion, his body relaxed in the aftermath of his climax but still hungry for Sirius to take him. "Yes, perfect," he moaned.
"Yes, you are," Sirius smiled, shifting so that he was on top of Remus and slotting his cock where his fingers had been, sighing in pleasure as he slid home.
"Bit prejudiced, arenít you?" Remus chuckled, his hips tilting up to take Sirius deeper. He wrapped his arms and legs loosely around his lover, amber eyes smiling up into blue.
Sirius shook his head. "Naw, not one bit," he rasped, shuddering at the exquisite sensation of sliding in and out of Remusí body.
"Then youíre a nutter, but since I like the results, thatís all right then." Remus slowly clenched and relaxed his muscles around the shaft filling him.
Groaning throatily, Sirius gave up trying to answer and simply rode out the pleasure that was welling inside him, finally erupting in an orgasm that had him howling out Remusí name as he came, his hands clenched in his loverís hair.
Remus lay beneath Sirius, enjoying his pleasure and loving the sensation of being covered by the other man. "I love you," he whispered, hands moving lazily over Siriusí back.
"Love you too," Sirius answered, nuzzling the warm angle between Remusí neck and shoulder. "Think we should get to bed before we scare Father Christmas to death?"
"Think we should get to bed so we can snooze and do this again," Remus retorted, chuckling. "As I said, I already have my present."
"Doesnít mean you wonít find another one in your stocking come morning," Sirius yawned, pushing up to his hands and knees and then his feet.
"Oh good." Remus grinned up at him from where he still lay on the floor. "Think I might find anything anywhere else come morning?"
Holding out a hand to help Remus to his feet, Sirius laughed. "Might find me riding you and singing carols."
"Oh and a very happy Christmas to me!"
"And to all a good night?"
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