Notes: The Dr. Seuss Purity Test can be found at: http://bears.ece.ucsb.edu/personnel/astornet/humor/humor37.html
Have any suggestions for how they can check off the questions? Let us know!

Pretty Baby: Dr. Seuss Interlude 1
The List

Angyl and Rina

5/31/00

Disclaimers:
No, we do not own Mac and Vic
Alliance does, which makes us sick.
So we will grab them and go play,
But keep in mind, it's not for pay!

"Junk. Junk. Letter from Allegra. Junk. Junk. Hello... what's this? 'A link you might find interesting.' Probably some sex ad or something. Vic, you been surfing the porn sites again?" Mac glanced over at his lover, chuckling at Victor's half-hearted growl. When the ex-cop was reading the hockey scores nothing short of live gunfire could get him away from the paper. Or a little personal attention... Mac thought with a grin, recalling the time an attempt at distraction had ended up with more newsprint on their backs then on the paper.

"Might as well check it out... The Dr. Seuss Purity Test? On a boat, with a goat, in a bed, with the dead? Hmmm... wonder just how many of these we've done?" That thought in mind, Mac printed off a copy, grabbed a red marker and sauntered over to the couch, kneeling behind it and wrapping his arms around Vic's neck. "Hey babe, interested in taking a test?" he purred, holding the pen and paper in front of Vic's sports scores. "Get a high enough score, I guarantee a prize." Closing his teeth around the small gold hoop in the older man's left ear, Mac tugged gently, rubbing his face against his lover's short, dark hair at the same time. Some of the things on that list were definite 'yes's', but others had caused the ex-thief's imagination to run wild. Ropes and chains...in the rain... Oh yeah, those were definite ideas for future fun.

Vic shuddered at the nip to his ear and leaned back into Mac's definitely hard body. "You trying to distract me again, baby?" Vic purred, more then willing to let Mac drag him away from the scores, no matter how great the Leafs were doing in the playoffs. The print out being waved in front of him was more a distraction then an item of interest, but if it promised him a 'prize' at the end, he was more than happy to go along with whatever the younger man was hatching.

Dropping the paper on the side table, Vic yanked the ex-thief around, so that Mac fell into his lap and felt the telltale sign of the older man's 'interest' in the conversation. Snatching the paper from Mac's hand even as he snuggled into the crook of Mac's neck for easier reading, Vic began to peruse the pages.

"Ass, grass... this sounds promising. Virgin... sturgeon? Mac, what the hell is this?" Vic chuckled, torn between shock at some of the more risqué to downright disgusting things and arousal at some of the more provocative ones. "And why are you showing me and what is being cooked in that nefarious brain of yours?"

"A test," the younger man laughed, wriggling both to get more comfortable and because he enjoyed the effect it had on Vic. "We gotta follow the instructions and answer 'yes' or 'no' to all the questions then multiply the number of 'no's by two to get our purity."

"As for what's going on in my brain...Well, you always tell me I think with the lower one, so what do you think? Wanna bet that we can do 'em all?" This was asked in a low, rumbling voice as Mac licked his way up Victor's jaw to tickle his ear.

"Mmm, there are a few there I'm not sure about, babe - I mean 'with the dead'? Sweetie - that's just nuts! But if you really think we could do them all?" Vic sighed, happily snuggling his lover closer to him.

Taking the red pen and uncapping it, he handed back to Mac, "Okay, let's start checkin' 'em off - or are you planning for us to recreate it from the start?"

"We just have to be creative, lover," Mac laughed, "and we can do both, you know. Hell, I don't mind repeating things - in the interest of fair play and all that. So then..." Slinging his free arm around Vic's neck and holding the pen poised over the papers the other man was holding, Mac prepared to begin. "On a boat. Wanna count that fishing trawler? We did get interrupted, but it was pretty damn close."

"Close but, pardon the pun, no cigar. If we want to do this, we should do it right - start at the beginning and hit each one - now some are probably gonna happen spontaneously, some we do all the time anyway - so ass and underage is done. Won't be able to recreate virgin, but you were definitely that our first time, if that fucking drug is letting me remember it clearly," Vic murmured, nibbling on Mac's ear as his hand began to drift up and down the taut planes of his lover's abdomen.

"Both ends, done it, mouth..." Vic turned Mac's head and gently ravished the orifice in question. "Oh yeah, your mouth, baby, your pretty, pretty mouth," the ex-cop sighed happily. "Tape - well that's a given with the boss lady, chances are so's live TV - wouldn't be surprised if she had a live feed to her office." He shuddered at the thought.

"We can also check off gym - that night in the Agency gym," Vic moaned, thrusting his hips upwards. "God, you were so fucking hot you burned me alive. Mmmm, whim and dare too. All to see, the glass elevator at the CN Tower, under cover, goes without saying. Think that covers it, unless you see any more," Victor husked, beginning to thrust his hips upwards slightly while his hands trailed up to scrape across the cotton of Mac's shirt, abrading the younger man's nipples slightly.

"Uhhh..." Mac breathed, arching up against the rough pressure, loving how the scrape of Vic's blunt nails over his chest sent shocks of pleasure straight to his groin. He pushed back against the pressure of Vic's groin, circling his hips in a counterpoint to the older man's subtle movements, feeling his cock twitch in response. "On your back - I'd say we've both been there enough times to count that."

With a series of quick motions, Mac checked off the items they had listed, then chuckled quietly even as he went back to exploring Vic's ear with his tongue. "Don't know about you, babe, but I can say I've had VD, and on more then one occasion too." At Vic's shocked, "What?" Mac laughed and twisted around so that he was sitting astride his lover's lap, grinning down at him. "You saying I haven't had you before, Victor Daniel?" Rocking forward a bit to rub their crotches together, the ex-thief tossed the pen to the side and applied himself to the unbuttoning and removal of Victor's shirt.

Vic's head fell back against the leather upholstery, cool beneath his fevered neck. Torn between a chuckle and a moan, the sound that emerged was an interesting combination of the two. "I hate my middle name in most cases, but in this case - who am I to argue if you want to have VD?" he replied breathlessly. His hands were busy stripping Mac out of his tee-shirt so he could get to the soft pelt of hair he loved to play with so much.

Carding his fingers through the dark brown hair, Vic bent to nip and suckle on Mac's left nipple, while applying his fingers to the right. His free hand snaked between them and began to unbutton the younger man's button flies. Moaning around the tiny nub of flesh in his mouth, his tongue lashing like a soft whip, Vic slid his hand inside the now released denim, only to find the younger man had chosen to go commando once he got home from his classes.

"Trying to kill me here, baby?" he groaned out breathlessly.

Mac shook his head, raising himself up onto his knees so that Vic could get more of his hand into his pants and therefore on his very awake and aware cock. "Nah," he purred, pushing the older man's shirt off his shoulders while arching into the probing fingers and flickering tongue. "Just was waiting to see how long it was until you figured that fact out - independent research you know."

Vic's hands and mouth drew a moan from Mac and he rocked forward, fastening his teeth and lips on the pad of muscle in Vic's shoulder, worrying at the soft skin and hard layer beneath it. "Want to get you naked, Vice-man, naked and working on that list now."

"No complaints from me, baby," Vic chuckled softly, his hand squeezing Mac's pulsing erection softly, even as he managed a few minute strokes of his lover's cock. "However, are we gonna try and make it to the bedroom, or are you up for a little armchair jockeying this afternoon?" the older man continued to tease, as he bent his head once more to attack Mac's too-tempting chest, diving from nipple to nipple as he nibbled and sucked and laved at the tasty treats.

"So," Vic managed to get out, as he came up for air, listening to the excited moans of his partner, feeling his effect on the younger man. "What does this count towards? I'd say 'have you done it in the ass?' and I'm hoping, 'have you done it on your back?'. Or are we gonna try for 'have you ever had VD?' - your call here, babe, since you're on top."

"Victor..." Mac growled, grabbing the older man by the shirt that was hanging down around his arms and twisting them both around so that they were lying lengthwise on the couch, "shut up and fuck me, damnit!" With a lurch and a wriggle, Mac shimmied out of his jeans, kicking them in the direction of their bedroom, then wrapping his legs around Vic's waist, arching his hips even as he began ridding his lover of his pants.

Vic bit back a moan at his lover's enthusiasm and reached blindly under the couch, groping for the tube of lubricant they'd taken to keeping stashed there for such emergencies as this.

Rolling them so that he was on his back on the couch and Mac over him, Vic managed to wriggle out of his jeans. Kicking them off, he managed to open the tube of lube and slick himself before taking a still greased digit and pressing it firmly inside the younger man, who was now straddling his waist. "This what you want, pretty baby?" he husked darkly, watching the pleasure and need race across Mac's face in an erotic display. "Fuck, you are so hot!"

"No," Mac growled, the tendons standing out on his neck as he undulated his body, letting the motions squeeze the finger his lover had deep inside of him. "Want your dick in me, need it now!"

Lowering his torso until his mouth was hovering over Vic's pierced nipple, Mac flicked out his tongue, hooking his piercing through the silver ring and tugging, the stab of pleasure/pain rocketing through him as Vic gave a hoarse shout and spasmed beneath him. Sliding a hand backwards to locate and hold the ex-cop's erection, Mac kept up his attention on Vic's nipple until the older man was clawing at his thighs with both hands.

Steadying Victor's erection with his one hand, Mac gave a final pull on the ring, then sat up, impaling himself on the slick length of his lover's cock, riding out the slight pain as his barely loosened muscles stretched to accommodate the other man's girth. Taking a moment to breathe through the small discomfort, Mac grinned down at Vic who looked thoroughly debauched, his lips swollen, his nipples tight and wet with saliva, and his breath coming hot and fast. "You ready to fuck me now?" the younger man teased, circling his hips lightly and biting his lower lip when the movement rubbed the head of Vic's cock against his prostate, "or do I have to do all the work here?"

Victor growled, his eyes snapping green fire as he surged upwards, forcing a position reversal so that Mac was now on his back and Vic looming over him. "You want me to fuck you, baby?" he purred menacingly. "Consider it done."

With that Vic latched on to Mac's mouth even as his hips began the age old back and forth motion so that his cock slid in and out of the tight channel clinging to it. Slowly he built up speed until he was slamming in and out of his lover's body, his mouth and teeth nibbling and nipping at the bee-stung lips under them. His one hand clenched bruisingly at Mac's hip and the other teased a peaked nipple.

Breaking off the kiss to suck in a lungful of air, he stared down at his thoroughly fucked and debauched lover. Letting go of a nipple long enough to guide Mac's desperately grasping hand to his own cock, Vic husked, "Gotta take care of that yourself babe, am kinda busy here," and dove back down to latch this time to Mac's collarbone as his hand returned to tormenting his lover's nipples.

Vic couldn't believe the sweet pressure around his erection; they hadn't had a straight forward, hot animal fuck session in some time, and damn if he wasn't enjoying this. Watching Mac whine and moan and writhe and even yip beneath him kept him hard and aching and pounding into his lover's sweet and adored body. More than anything he wanted to watch Mac wail, his head thrown back, as he came like a geyser. Oh yeah.

"Think... I... can handle... that," Mac gasped out, his body twisting between the pressure of Vic's fingers on his peaked nipple and the glorious sensation of being thoroughly fucked by his lover. Vic's teeth closing on the juncture of his neck and shoulder, the tight grip he had on Mac's hip, all these spurred the younger man on in his gyrations, causing him to twist and moan as he worked his erection in time with Vic's thrusts.

Arching his neck so that his head dug into the pillow beneath it, Mac keened, a high, extended note that escalated as his desire increased with each plunge of the older man into his body. Good, so goddamn good, nothing could ever beat this - except maybe if their positions were reversed, or they were going at it long and slow, or... Okay, every time with Vic was the best. While rubbing his thumb over now wet head of his cock, Mac arched upward, clenching his muscles around Vic's shaft as it slid into him, knowing the ex-cop loved the feel of being caught in that silken vise.

When Vic responded with an animalistic growl, a sharp bite to his neck, and an increase in the pace of his thrusts, Mac's whines changed to a very vocal appreciation of it all. Try as he might to hold out a little longer, Mac's motions grew erratic and his hand tightened on his cock as he came, eyes closed with the deluge of pleasure, his other fingers digging shallow trails across Vic's back.

"YES!" Vic shouted, slamming harder and harder into his lover, feeling Mac's seed coat his chest and his nails dig into the older man's back. The slight pain combined with the rhythmic massaging of his cock was all it took to tip the ex-cop over the edge as well.

"Mac!" he bellowed, as he came in the warm, receptive haven of his lover's body. Victor remained above the younger man for long moments, his body in a rictus of lust until at last his muscles relaxed and he sank boneless onto Mac's welcoming body.

"Damn, babe, you just get hotter every time. So, you think we made a dent in that list of yours?" Vic chuckled at long last, raising his head enough to look down at his partner, a half-smile gracing wicked lips. "One hell of a way to christen a test, that's for sure. Would have aced high school with tests that easy."

"Think I can talk my profs into using this as my exams?" the younger man laughed, idly running his hands down Vic's back to the dip at the top of his buttocks, then resting them there. "Be a surefire way to make it to the dean's list no sweat."

At Vic's smothered laugh, Mac swatted his lover's rear, then stretched out an arm to grab both the list and the pen. "Well, that damn well took care of 'in the ass' and 'on your back'. Wanna give it a rest, then give 'have you ever had VD' a go? That or we can head down to the Agency and take a whack at our 'Mother's couch'." The last was added with a wicked grin as the ex-thief visualized them going at it on the Director's leather couch.

Vic chuckled softly. "Might be the safest place. Wonder if she bugs her office like she does our apartment?" he grinned. "Hey, better tick off 'on tv' too - god knows we're on hers often enough," the older man continued playfully before ripping the pen and paper out of Mac's hands. "Now what was that about round two?"

~end~

  since 02-04-07

 

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