Notes: The Dr. Seuss Purity Test can be found at: http://bears.ece.ucsb.edu/personnel/astornet/humor/humor37.html
Have any suggestions for how they can check off the questions? Let us
Pretty Baby: Dr. Seuss Interlude 1
Angyl and Rina
No, we do not own Mac and Vic
Alliance does, which makes us sick.
So we will grab them and go play,
But keep in mind, it's not for pay!
"Junk. Junk. Letter from Allegra. Junk. Junk. Hello... what's this?
'A link you might find interesting.' Probably some sex ad or something. Vic,
you been surfing the porn sites again?" Mac glanced over at his lover,
chuckling at Victor's half-hearted growl. When the ex-cop was reading the
hockey scores nothing short of live gunfire could get him away from the
paper. Or a little personal attention... Mac thought with a grin,
recalling the time an attempt at distraction had ended up with more
newsprint on their backs then on the paper.
"Might as well check it out... The Dr. Seuss Purity Test? On a boat,
with a goat, in a bed, with the dead? Hmmm... wonder just how many of
these we've done?" That thought in mind, Mac printed off a copy,
grabbed a red marker and sauntered over to the couch, kneeling behind it and
wrapping his arms around Vic's neck. "Hey babe, interested in taking a
test?" he purred, holding the pen and paper in front of Vic's sports
scores. "Get a high enough score, I guarantee a prize." Closing
his teeth around the small gold hoop in the older man's left ear, Mac tugged
gently, rubbing his face against his lover's short, dark hair at the same
time. Some of the things on that list were definite 'yes's', but others had
caused the ex-thief's imagination to run wild. Ropes and chains...in the
rain... Oh yeah, those were definite ideas for future fun.
Vic shuddered at the nip to his ear and leaned back into Mac's definitely
hard body. "You trying to distract me again, baby?" Vic
purred, more then willing to let Mac drag him away from the scores, no
matter how great the Leafs were doing in the playoffs. The print out being
waved in front of him was more a distraction then an item of interest, but
if it promised him a 'prize' at the end, he was more than happy to go along
with whatever the younger man was hatching.
Dropping the paper on the side table, Vic yanked the ex-thief around, so
that Mac fell into his lap and felt the telltale sign of the older man's
'interest' in the conversation. Snatching the paper from Mac's hand even as
he snuggled into the crook of Mac's neck for easier reading, Vic began to
peruse the pages.
"Ass, grass... this sounds promising. Virgin... sturgeon? Mac, what
the hell is this?" Vic chuckled, torn between shock at some of the more
risqué to downright disgusting things and arousal at some of the more
provocative ones. "And why are you showing me and what is being cooked
in that nefarious brain of yours?"
"A test," the younger man laughed, wriggling both to get more
comfortable and because he enjoyed the effect it had on Vic. "We gotta
follow the instructions and answer 'yes' or 'no' to all the questions then
multiply the number of 'no's by two to get our purity."
"As for what's going on in my brain...Well, you always tell me I
think with the lower one, so what do you think? Wanna bet that we can do 'em
all?" This was asked in a low, rumbling voice as Mac licked his way up
Victor's jaw to tickle his ear.
"Mmm, there are a few there I'm not sure about, babe - I mean 'with
the dead'? Sweetie - that's just nuts! But if you really think we could do
them all?" Vic sighed, happily snuggling his lover closer to him.
Taking the red pen and uncapping it, he handed back to Mac, "Okay,
let's start checkin' 'em off - or are you planning for us to recreate it
from the start?"
"We just have to be creative, lover," Mac laughed, "and we
can do both, you know. Hell, I don't mind repeating things - in the interest
of fair play and all that. So then..." Slinging his free arm around
Vic's neck and holding the pen poised over the papers the other man was
holding, Mac prepared to begin. "On a boat. Wanna count that fishing
trawler? We did get interrupted, but it was pretty damn close."
"Close but, pardon the pun, no cigar. If we want to do this, we
should do it right - start at the beginning and hit each one - now some are
probably gonna happen spontaneously, some we do all the time anyway - so ass
and underage is done. Won't be able to recreate virgin, but you were
definitely that our first time, if that fucking drug is letting me remember
it clearly," Vic murmured, nibbling on Mac's ear as his hand began to
drift up and down the taut planes of his lover's abdomen.
"Both ends, done it, mouth..." Vic turned Mac's head and gently
ravished the orifice in question. "Oh yeah, your mouth, baby, your
pretty, pretty mouth," the ex-cop sighed happily. "Tape - well
that's a given with the boss lady, chances are so's live TV - wouldn't be
surprised if she had a live feed to her office." He shuddered at the
"We can also check off gym - that night in the Agency gym," Vic
moaned, thrusting his hips upwards. "God, you were so fucking hot you
burned me alive. Mmmm, whim and dare too. All to see, the glass elevator at
the CN Tower, under cover, goes without saying. Think that covers it, unless
you see any more," Victor husked, beginning to thrust his hips upwards
slightly while his hands trailed up to scrape across the cotton of Mac's
shirt, abrading the younger man's nipples slightly.
"Uhhh..." Mac breathed, arching up against the rough pressure,
loving how the scrape of Vic's blunt nails over his chest sent shocks of
pleasure straight to his groin. He pushed back against the pressure of Vic's
groin, circling his hips in a counterpoint to the older man's subtle
movements, feeling his cock twitch in response. "On your back - I'd say
we've both been there enough times to count that."
With a series of quick motions, Mac checked off the items they had
listed, then chuckled quietly even as he went back to exploring Vic's ear
with his tongue. "Don't know about you, babe, but I can say I've had
VD, and on more then one occasion too." At Vic's shocked,
"What?" Mac laughed and twisted around so that he was sitting
astride his lover's lap, grinning down at him. "You saying I haven't
had you before, Victor Daniel?" Rocking forward a bit to rub their
crotches together, the ex-thief tossed the pen to the side and applied
himself to the unbuttoning and removal of Victor's shirt.
Vic's head fell back against the leather upholstery, cool beneath his
fevered neck. Torn between a chuckle and a moan, the sound that emerged was
an interesting combination of the two. "I hate my middle name in most
cases, but in this case - who am I to argue if you want to have VD?" he
replied breathlessly. His hands were busy stripping Mac out of his tee-shirt
so he could get to the soft pelt of hair he loved to play with so much.
Carding his fingers through the dark brown hair, Vic bent to nip and
suckle on Mac's left nipple, while applying his fingers to the right. His
free hand snaked between them and began to unbutton the younger man's button
flies. Moaning around the tiny nub of flesh in his mouth, his tongue lashing
like a soft whip, Vic slid his hand inside the now released denim, only to
find the younger man had chosen to go commando once he got home from his
"Trying to kill me here, baby?" he groaned out breathlessly.
Mac shook his head, raising himself up onto his knees so that Vic could
get more of his hand into his pants and therefore on his very awake and
aware cock. "Nah," he purred, pushing the older man's shirt off
his shoulders while arching into the probing fingers and flickering tongue.
"Just was waiting to see how long it was until you figured that fact
out - independent research you know."
Vic's hands and mouth drew a moan from Mac and he rocked forward,
fastening his teeth and lips on the pad of muscle in Vic's shoulder,
worrying at the soft skin and hard layer beneath it. "Want to get you
naked, Vice-man, naked and working on that list now."
"No complaints from me, baby," Vic chuckled softly, his hand
squeezing Mac's pulsing erection softly, even as he managed a few minute
strokes of his lover's cock. "However, are we gonna try and make it to
the bedroom, or are you up for a little armchair jockeying this
afternoon?" the older man continued to tease, as he bent his head once
more to attack Mac's too-tempting chest, diving from nipple to nipple as he
nibbled and sucked and laved at the tasty treats.
"So," Vic managed to get out, as he came up for air, listening
to the excited moans of his partner, feeling his effect on the younger man.
"What does this count towards? I'd say 'have you done it in the ass?'
and I'm hoping, 'have you done it on your back?'. Or are we gonna try for
'have you ever had VD?' - your call here, babe, since you're on top."
"Victor..." Mac growled, grabbing the older man by the shirt
that was hanging down around his arms and twisting them both around so that
they were lying lengthwise on the couch, "shut up and fuck me, damnit!"
With a lurch and a wriggle, Mac shimmied out of his jeans, kicking them in
the direction of their bedroom, then wrapping his legs around Vic's waist,
arching his hips even as he began ridding his lover of his pants.
Vic bit back a moan at his lover's enthusiasm and reached blindly under
the couch, groping for the tube of lubricant they'd taken to keeping stashed
there for such emergencies as this.
Rolling them so that he was on his back on the couch and Mac over him,
Vic managed to wriggle out of his jeans. Kicking them off, he managed to
open the tube of lube and slick himself before taking a still greased digit
and pressing it firmly inside the younger man, who was now straddling his
waist. "This what you want, pretty baby?" he husked darkly,
watching the pleasure and need race across Mac's face in an erotic display.
"Fuck, you are so hot!"
"No," Mac growled, the tendons standing out on his neck as he
undulated his body, letting the motions squeeze the finger his lover had
deep inside of him. "Want your dick in me, need it now!"
Lowering his torso until his mouth was hovering over Vic's pierced
nipple, Mac flicked out his tongue, hooking his piercing through the silver
ring and tugging, the stab of pleasure/pain rocketing through him as Vic
gave a hoarse shout and spasmed beneath him. Sliding a hand backwards to
locate and hold the ex-cop's erection, Mac kept up his attention on Vic's
nipple until the older man was clawing at his thighs with both hands.
Steadying Victor's erection with his one hand, Mac gave a final pull on
the ring, then sat up, impaling himself on the slick length of his lover's
cock, riding out the slight pain as his barely loosened muscles stretched to
accommodate the other man's girth. Taking a moment to breathe through the
small discomfort, Mac grinned down at Vic who looked thoroughly debauched,
his lips swollen, his nipples tight and wet with saliva, and his breath
coming hot and fast. "You ready to fuck me now?" the younger man
teased, circling his hips lightly and biting his lower lip when the movement
rubbed the head of Vic's cock against his prostate, "or do I have to do
all the work here?"
Victor growled, his eyes snapping green fire as he surged upwards,
forcing a position reversal so that Mac was now on his back and Vic looming
over him. "You want me to fuck you, baby?" he purred menacingly.
"Consider it done."
With that Vic latched on to Mac's mouth even as his hips began the age
old back and forth motion so that his cock slid in and out of the tight
channel clinging to it. Slowly he built up speed until he was slamming in
and out of his lover's body, his mouth and teeth nibbling and nipping at the
bee-stung lips under them. His one hand clenched bruisingly at Mac's hip and
the other teased a peaked nipple.
Breaking off the kiss to suck in a lungful of air, he stared down at his
thoroughly fucked and debauched lover. Letting go of a nipple long enough to
guide Mac's desperately grasping hand to his own cock, Vic husked,
"Gotta take care of that yourself babe, am kinda busy here," and
dove back down to latch this time to Mac's collarbone as his hand returned
to tormenting his lover's nipples.
Vic couldn't believe the sweet pressure around his erection; they hadn't
had a straight forward, hot animal fuck session in some time, and damn if he
wasn't enjoying this. Watching Mac whine and moan and writhe and even yip
beneath him kept him hard and aching and pounding into his lover's sweet and
adored body. More than anything he wanted to watch Mac wail, his head thrown
back, as he came like a geyser. Oh yeah.
"Think... I... can handle... that," Mac gasped out, his body
twisting between the pressure of Vic's fingers on his peaked nipple and the
glorious sensation of being thoroughly fucked by his lover. Vic's teeth
closing on the juncture of his neck and shoulder, the tight grip he had on
Mac's hip, all these spurred the younger man on in his gyrations, causing
him to twist and moan as he worked his erection in time with Vic's thrusts.
Arching his neck so that his head dug into the pillow beneath it, Mac
keened, a high, extended note that escalated as his desire increased with
each plunge of the older man into his body. Good, so goddamn good, nothing
could ever beat this - except maybe if their positions were reversed, or
they were going at it long and slow, or... Okay, every time with Vic was the
best. While rubbing his thumb over now wet head of his cock, Mac arched
upward, clenching his muscles around Vic's shaft as it slid into him,
knowing the ex-cop loved the feel of being caught in that silken vise.
When Vic responded with an animalistic growl, a sharp bite to his neck,
and an increase in the pace of his thrusts, Mac's whines changed to a very
vocal appreciation of it all. Try as he might to hold out a little longer,
Mac's motions grew erratic and his hand tightened on his cock as he came,
eyes closed with the deluge of pleasure, his other fingers digging shallow
trails across Vic's back.
"YES!" Vic shouted, slamming harder and harder into his lover,
feeling Mac's seed coat his chest and his nails dig into the older man's
back. The slight pain combined with the rhythmic massaging of his cock was
all it took to tip the ex-cop over the edge as well.
"Mac!" he bellowed, as he came in the warm, receptive haven of
his lover's body. Victor remained above the younger man for long moments,
his body in a rictus of lust until at last his muscles relaxed and he sank
boneless onto Mac's welcoming body.
"Damn, babe, you just get hotter every time. So, you think we made a
dent in that list of yours?" Vic chuckled at long last, raising his
head enough to look down at his partner, a half-smile gracing wicked lips.
"One hell of a way to christen a test, that's for sure. Would have aced
high school with tests that easy."
"Think I can talk my profs into using this as my exams?" the
younger man laughed, idly running his hands down Vic's back to the dip at
the top of his buttocks, then resting them there. "Be a surefire way to
make it to the dean's list no sweat."
At Vic's smothered laugh, Mac swatted his lover's rear, then stretched
out an arm to grab both the list and the pen. "Well, that damn well
took care of 'in the ass' and 'on your back'. Wanna give it a rest, then
give 'have you ever had VD' a go? That or we can head down to the Agency and
take a whack at our 'Mother's couch'." The last was added with a wicked
grin as the ex-thief visualized them going at it on the Director's leather
Vic chuckled softly. "Might be the safest place. Wonder if she bugs
her office like she does our apartment?" he grinned. "Hey, better
tick off 'on tv' too - god knows we're on hers often enough," the older
man continued playfully before ripping the pen and paper out of Mac's hands.
"Now what was that about round two?"