So I'm in Hawaii, and somewhat adjusted to the jet lag. I'm mostly bored out of my mind here, but have found time to work out and tan a little. I've been listening to "Me Talk Pretty One Day" and it's really funny. We went to the library today and I tried to look for some pretty well known books but I guess there's not much funding, because I couldn't find any of them and the selection of books, in general, was pretty small.

Trinity is really cute. She's smart even though she can't talk. She can point to her body parts if you ask her, and has her own signs for "no" and "come here." She loves playing different versions of peek-a-boo and is a really happy kid. Good for her.

I know I should be more enthusiastic since I am in Hawaii, but my dad isn't much of a social person, so we don't really go out and do touristy stuff. Plus, it's not really fun to travel by yourself. My bigger sister and her family aren't showing up until after Christmas, which is pretty much right before I am coming home. I really don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

Back in Hawaii
I guess I never posted anything about my last trip to Hawaii, which was in September. Woops... School has taken up all of my time.

Speaking of school, I finished finals last week - it was probably the most caffeinated week of my life. Then I had to rush, rush, rush to get everything done before my trip back to Hawaii for Christmas. I'm amazed I accomplished it all.

I left yesterday morning - early - for the airport and slept for the first hour of six in the air. I read and slept, read and slept and finally got here safely.

My little sister Trinity has grown a lot in the last couple of months. She's very cute how she commands people around. She pokes you and then points or walks to what she wants.

Today we got a fake Christmas tree because Oahu is completely sold out of them. There's a shortage because last year they shipped in too many, but now it's too late to buy more because they would be way too expensive. So now it's up, and we're trying to show Trinity how to touch the ornaments gently. It works for a little while before she gets frustrated and starts swatting at them and we have to take her away. She's also fascinated by the lawn decorations here in the neighborhood. She makes us go outside with her and she gapes at all of the bright lights and Santas. She even says "ho ho ho."

We'll see how she is when Christmas finally rolls around...

Camping Trip/Birthday Weekend
Now Playing: That 70's Show
Thursday Brian and I finally got on the road for our camping trip at 5 PM. After getting slightly lost in Hood River (a quaint little town), we managed to get to the campground about 7:45 and got wood (a necessity!) and realized that the campground was almost full. The only available sites were walk-ins, so we had to truck several trips of our stuff from the car to our site at dusk. By the time we were settled it was dark, so we built a fire and roasted hot dogs for dinner.

Friday we woke up and went down to the lake to go canoeing. We spent a couple hours there, floating and drinking beer; it was fun. We ended up just relaxing that afternoon; reading and making dinner. We ended up trying this freeze-dried food that B's friend had given us, and to our surprise it was actually pretty tasty. It was interesting trying to walk to the biffy in the dark. I was wearing a head lamp and it felt oddly like I was in the movie The Blair Witch Project. It was pretty funny.

On Saturday (my birthday) we went for a hike around the lake. There were some cool spots right near the edge of the lake and some great views of Mt. Hood. Unfortunately, I was too lazy to take pictures. We tried to take this one shortcut to our campsite, but it ended up being not very short. We had some lunch, then went back to the lake to go swimming, which was much warmer than we had expected. It was sweet that Brian spent so much effort on cooking my birthday dinner in the woods. We ended up having chicken soup, mashed potatoes and steak. It was really yummy. Then we had Hostess cupcakes (complete with candles) for dessert and just as we cracked open a bottle of wine, it started to drizzle. At first it wasn't so bad, but once the campfire was rained out, we decided to have a cribbage game inside the tent before trying to sleep (and hoping the rain would stop soon). During the last hand of the game, I only needed a few points to win, which I had in my hand. But my crib was awesome - it was 21 points. But anyway....

Sunday morning - it had rained allllll night and was still raining. It rained 2 inches in 10 hours and no wonder there was actually water seeping up from underneath the tent. We tried to pack things up as quickly as possible, even in the rain (which took 3 hours anyway). It was nice to be back in civilization. We rented Hidalgo and The Blair Witch Project and ordered pizza and holed up inside, away from the rain.

It truly was a great weekend....

Now it's only 9 days until I'm off to Hawaii!

Yesterday Brian and I tanned on the roof, but it was so hot (100 degrees!) that we couldn't handle it for too long.

I ended up going to Tigard to visit Krys. We watched Bend it Like Beckham (which was very cute) and made dinner for us and her mom. For dessert, we met Kasey at Sharis and had ice cream and were bad influences on each other.

Sounds like Friday night we'll be a drinking/pizza night, but I'm not sure what kind of drinks to make. Hmmm...

Bumped into Lizzie while on campus today. Her hair is a very cute pink. I'm glad she had a good time in Japan.

Went to the DMV to renew my license today and thank goodness, because I like my picture so much better. I can't believe I used to have such short hair! I screwed up my signature on the back, though, but who cares.

Tomorrow's my aunt's birthday. Here's where I sound like an old lady: I should catch up on my correspondence. Maybe I should buy some stationery and write to my relatives that I never see.

I'm almost anxious for school to get started again. OK, so maybe not really, but I would like to get my things in order, like textbooks and shit. It sucks that the booklists and syllabi aren't posted sooner than they are.

I need some suggestions on music to download, so if anyone has any good ideas, let me know!

I finally found a swimsuit that fits! It's very exciting. It's blue and white and flowery. And Brian was a very good sport about me being picky.

Yesterday, Brian and I saw The Village which I still thought was good despite its mixed reviews. I didn't see the twist coming at all. We also rented The Whole Ten Yards which was pretty good.

I think turning twenty is making me anxious about things which I totally wasn't expecting, but, eh, oh well.

This summer is going by really fast. There are only fifty days left, and about a quarter of that will be spent in Hawaii. I'm very excited about the trip. I should start planning things to do while Krys and I are there...

Hmmm...

Today was one of the most perfect summer evenings I've had in a while. The weather was great; not too hot, but still summery. What's better to do during the summer than to hang out with friends and relax? And that's exactly what I did. After work, I drove to Krys' and we ate pizza with her mom and watched two chick flicks: 13 Going on 30 (don't you dare laugh!) and 50 First Dates. I thoroughly enjoyed them both, which is easy to do when I have not a serious care in the world right now. 50 First Dates also was set in Hawaii (yay, since I'll be there in one month) and included my favorite arrangement of Somewhere Over the Rainbow and What a Wonderful World. It's the ukelele version by Israel Kamakaiwo'ole. Sometimes it makes me smile, others it makes me cry. Then, driving home, I took the highway instead of the freeway. I don't know why. There's something about driving at night in the summer with the windows rolled down and the breeze that just makes me feel good inside. I listened to oldies on the way home and it made me nostalgic.

And this made me think. In some ways I feel homeless. Not in the vagrant, beggar type of way, mind you. Since I left T-Town for college, and all the hundreds of times I've driven there and back and arrived at my apartment, I still feel like it's not really home. And this has nothing to do with my dad and Wilma and Trinity moving or anything, really, because I'm happy for them (and that they get to live in paradise (; ). Mostly I feel trapped I guess. Even though I love my little apartment and more and more it feels like it's mine, all mine, I'm stuck here. I only live here because I'm going to school. I'm not yet free to have a career and a life of my own and be independent. I don't really think I'm making much sense, but oh well. I still just feel like I don't yet have much to offer to the world.

Even though I feel more confident in myself and that I've tried to work on just me a lot more this summer (I'm working on improving both my mental and physical health), I still feel like a wallflower. I don't have a handful of degrees or life experience or work experience (at least not much more than copying, filing and answering phones) to pull out of my pocket when I meet new people. I feel so intuitive and insightful towards people around me. I enjoy people watching, not being the center of attention. But sometimes I wonder if that comes across as not being impressive in any way shape or form. My hobbies are so solitary that I'm afraid even to list them here in fear of being laughed at (by the few that read this, I can count all of you on one hand).

And ironically, while all of this has been at the back of my mind recently, I feel more content than I've ever been. Odd, eh?

I should get some sleep....

Politics
Ok. So while I may not think of myself as the most politically informed registered voter out there, I do feel like I'm more informed than a lot of people. So it frustrates me when people accuse me of being undemocratic.

I was walking home today and was stopped by a guy trying to petition to get Nadar on the ballot because he is against the war. When I said I wouldn't like to see him on the ballot he said sarcastically, "How very democratic of you..."

I'm frustrated because, though I may or may not agree with the war, I know that I would not like to see Bush enter a second term of presidency. So even if Nadar did get on the ballot, he would probably only steal Democratic votes from Kerry, electing Bush... again.

But who knows. Who's to say what goes on in the next few months before the election. But I'm not about to sign every petition thrown at me because it's the "democratic" thing to do. Criminy.

Yay for shopping! I got some deals on clothes for Hawaii. Yay for Hawaii!

Brian's parents came to town so we went to a Beavers game on Thursday evening. It was actually really fun, which was a change from the last time we saw a game. I don't think we even scored last time. But ANYway... Then on Friday we went to a great Lebanese restaurant in SE with some of B's friends. Then Brian and I played Hearts with his parents. We drank champagne to celebrate Brian riding over 1000 miles this summer. Yay for Brian!

Krys and I have been to Sharis much too often recently, but it's the only place that's open late where we can hang out. Only one more year and I'll be able to get into bars (and not just for the sake of alcohol). Today Krys and I went to her mom's company picnic, which included another Beavers game, but this time we didn't stay 'til the end. It looked good for the Beavers after the 7th inning though...

Brian's off to Canada tomorrow, so it's time I get serious about my new fitness regime. Seroiusly... No being flaky about it anymore... Maybe it'll give me a reason to get rid of some junk in my apartment that I don't need anymore. Like boxes from when I moved in that I haven't even looked in, clothes that I should have gotten rid of a long time ago, etc. Plus, I need to organize my filing system (boring!) and put away a huge box of books from my dad's house that I thought I would have space for, but now I doubt I do. Hmmm... I need to liven up my apartment a lot. I have posters that Brian gave me a few months ago which help a lot, but my place is just to blah sometimes. Any suggestions?

I think I'm going to go get comfy and read for a while before going to bed...

Good weekend
Brian and his band Shorty and the Mustangs played the Portland Farmer's Market on Saturday and they did really great, even in the heat and for so many hours.

We watched the last day of the Tour de France on Sunday and it was no surprise that Lance Armstrong won for the 6th time in a row.

Yesterday we went to Sauvie Island to go tanning for the afternoon and it was really relaxing. It was nice to be able to go into the Columbia (which was actually fairly comfortable) whereas the beaches on the coast are coooold even in the summer.

It feels like this summer is flying by so fast. I know I probably say that about every summer, but it's true! Maybe it's just because I'm much busier this summer than I have been in a while. And I am sooooo looking forward to Hawaii. I'm planning on coming back just in time for school with an awesome tan!

Only 37 days...