Yesterday Brian and I tanned on the roof, but it was so hot (100 degrees!) that we couldn't handle it for too long.

I ended up going to Tigard to visit Krys. We watched Bend it Like Beckham (which was very cute) and made dinner for us and her mom. For dessert, we met Kasey at Sharis and had ice cream and were bad influences on each other.

Sounds like Friday night we'll be a drinking/pizza night, but I'm not sure what kind of drinks to make. Hmmm...

Bumped into Lizzie while on campus today. Her hair is a very cute pink. I'm glad she had a good time in Japan.

Went to the DMV to renew my license today and thank goodness, because I like my picture so much better. I can't believe I used to have such short hair! I screwed up my signature on the back, though, but who cares.

Tomorrow's my aunt's birthday. Here's where I sound like an old lady: I should catch up on my correspondence. Maybe I should buy some stationery and write to my relatives that I never see.

I'm almost anxious for school to get started again. OK, so maybe not really, but I would like to get my things in order, like textbooks and shit. It sucks that the booklists and syllabi aren't posted sooner than they are.

I need some suggestions on music to download, so if anyone has any good ideas, let me know!

I finally found a swimsuit that fits! It's very exciting. It's blue and white and flowery. And Brian was a very good sport about me being picky.

Yesterday, Brian and I saw The Village which I still thought was good despite its mixed reviews. I didn't see the twist coming at all. We also rented The Whole Ten Yards which was pretty good.

I think turning twenty is making me anxious about things which I totally wasn't expecting, but, eh, oh well.

This summer is going by really fast. There are only fifty days left, and about a quarter of that will be spent in Hawaii. I'm very excited about the trip. I should start planning things to do while Krys and I are there...

Hmmm...

Today was one of the most perfect summer evenings I've had in a while. The weather was great; not too hot, but still summery. What's better to do during the summer than to hang out with friends and relax? And that's exactly what I did. After work, I drove to Krys' and we ate pizza with her mom and watched two chick flicks: 13 Going on 30 (don't you dare laugh!) and 50 First Dates. I thoroughly enjoyed them both, which is easy to do when I have not a serious care in the world right now. 50 First Dates also was set in Hawaii (yay, since I'll be there in one month) and included my favorite arrangement of Somewhere Over the Rainbow and What a Wonderful World. It's the ukelele version by Israel Kamakaiwo'ole. Sometimes it makes me smile, others it makes me cry. Then, driving home, I took the highway instead of the freeway. I don't know why. There's something about driving at night in the summer with the windows rolled down and the breeze that just makes me feel good inside. I listened to oldies on the way home and it made me nostalgic.

And this made me think. In some ways I feel homeless. Not in the vagrant, beggar type of way, mind you. Since I left T-Town for college, and all the hundreds of times I've driven there and back and arrived at my apartment, I still feel like it's not really home. And this has nothing to do with my dad and Wilma and Trinity moving or anything, really, because I'm happy for them (and that they get to live in paradise (; ). Mostly I feel trapped I guess. Even though I love my little apartment and more and more it feels like it's mine, all mine, I'm stuck here. I only live here because I'm going to school. I'm not yet free to have a career and a life of my own and be independent. I don't really think I'm making much sense, but oh well. I still just feel like I don't yet have much to offer to the world.

Even though I feel more confident in myself and that I've tried to work on just me a lot more this summer (I'm working on improving both my mental and physical health), I still feel like a wallflower. I don't have a handful of degrees or life experience or work experience (at least not much more than copying, filing and answering phones) to pull out of my pocket when I meet new people. I feel so intuitive and insightful towards people around me. I enjoy people watching, not being the center of attention. But sometimes I wonder if that comes across as not being impressive in any way shape or form. My hobbies are so solitary that I'm afraid even to list them here in fear of being laughed at (by the few that read this, I can count all of you on one hand).

And ironically, while all of this has been at the back of my mind recently, I feel more content than I've ever been. Odd, eh?

I should get some sleep....

Politics
Ok. So while I may not think of myself as the most politically informed registered voter out there, I do feel like I'm more informed than a lot of people. So it frustrates me when people accuse me of being undemocratic.

I was walking home today and was stopped by a guy trying to petition to get Nadar on the ballot because he is against the war. When I said I wouldn't like to see him on the ballot he said sarcastically, "How very democratic of you..."

I'm frustrated because, though I may or may not agree with the war, I know that I would not like to see Bush enter a second term of presidency. So even if Nadar did get on the ballot, he would probably only steal Democratic votes from Kerry, electing Bush... again.

But who knows. Who's to say what goes on in the next few months before the election. But I'm not about to sign every petition thrown at me because it's the "democratic" thing to do. Criminy.

Yay for shopping! I got some deals on clothes for Hawaii. Yay for Hawaii!

Brian's parents came to town so we went to a Beavers game on Thursday evening. It was actually really fun, which was a change from the last time we saw a game. I don't think we even scored last time. But ANYway... Then on Friday we went to a great Lebanese restaurant in SE with some of B's friends. Then Brian and I played Hearts with his parents. We drank champagne to celebrate Brian riding over 1000 miles this summer. Yay for Brian!

Krys and I have been to Sharis much too often recently, but it's the only place that's open late where we can hang out. Only one more year and I'll be able to get into bars (and not just for the sake of alcohol). Today Krys and I went to her mom's company picnic, which included another Beavers game, but this time we didn't stay 'til the end. It looked good for the Beavers after the 7th inning though...

Brian's off to Canada tomorrow, so it's time I get serious about my new fitness regime. Seroiusly... No being flaky about it anymore... Maybe it'll give me a reason to get rid of some junk in my apartment that I don't need anymore. Like boxes from when I moved in that I haven't even looked in, clothes that I should have gotten rid of a long time ago, etc. Plus, I need to organize my filing system (boring!) and put away a huge box of books from my dad's house that I thought I would have space for, but now I doubt I do. Hmmm... I need to liven up my apartment a lot. I have posters that Brian gave me a few months ago which help a lot, but my place is just to blah sometimes. Any suggestions?

I think I'm going to go get comfy and read for a while before going to bed...

Good weekend
Brian and his band Shorty and the Mustangs played the Portland Farmer's Market on Saturday and they did really great, even in the heat and for so many hours.

We watched the last day of the Tour de France on Sunday and it was no surprise that Lance Armstrong won for the 6th time in a row.

Yesterday we went to Sauvie Island to go tanning for the afternoon and it was really relaxing. It was nice to be able to go into the Columbia (which was actually fairly comfortable) whereas the beaches on the coast are coooold even in the summer.

It feels like this summer is flying by so fast. I know I probably say that about every summer, but it's true! Maybe it's just because I'm much busier this summer than I have been in a while. And I am sooooo looking forward to Hawaii. I'm planning on coming back just in time for school with an awesome tan!

Only 37 days...

hooooooooooot weather
Yesterday was 103 freaking degrees! So Brian and I spent the entire evening in the mall and also saw The Bourne Supremacy (it was pretty good). We lingered in the air conditioning as long as possible before wandering back to my house.

We got yummy, cooooold ice cream on the way home, and guess what we saw on the Park blocks of all places? None other than a humongous racoon! He was coming up to these two guys and practically eating out of their hands. And it was still perfectly light outside. It was very weird, but maybe the poor animal was just not feeling well. Speaking of animals, Brian and I think we saw bobcat tracks/droppings and dropped berries on our hike to Angel's Rest. We thought it was best to keep talking to keep anyway, just in case, but when we ran out of things to say, we tried to recite the elements on the periodic table. Yes, we are dorks!

And to show how dorky we are, I had to tape last night's Jeopardy because Ken Jennings was on for the season finale (his 38th day or something), and he won $75,000 in one show, which broke the Jeopardy one-day winnings record of $52,000 (which Jennings had tied two or three times so far). Lucky bastard... Then we watched To Catch a Thief which I don't really remember because I was half-asleep the whole time, and not able to pay attention.

More later...

Bear with me...
So I finally have started my own web page. My only warning is that I have no idea what I'm doing! So I apologize for any weirdness on my site. More journal-y entries to come...