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El Villano:Welcome everybody to American Dumbass where i'm going to attempt to find somebody from right here at Freedom Hall that is a bigger dumbass than honkey lighthouse. Why? Because after i beat honkey lighthouse at the ppv and the XWF fires him in about a month, were gonna need some other no talent hack to take his place. I mean every WRESTLING federation needs some no talent douche bag who will never amount to shit at the bottom of its roster right? I'm just tryin to help the XWF out by pointing them in the right direction so they know which nobody they should hire next. *The next guy in line steps up, its a bum with a whiskey bottle in his hand and it looks as if he can barely stand) El Villano:Name Bum:My momma always called me crack baby El Villano:Good start, but can you live up to the stupidity of honkey lighthouse? We'll see. Next question, who is your best friend? Bum:That would be my penis, hes the only one that talks to me anymore El Villano:Soooooo your penis talks to you? About what? Bum:The weather, sports, anything really, i have a healthy relationship with my penis. Sometimes he makes me mad and i have to beat him but deep down he knows he likes it rough. El Villano:Yeah.....moving on. Do you have any wrestling experiance? Bum:Nope El Villano:You'll do just fine, half of the people in the XWF don't have any, just look at Honkey Lighthouse and Steve Sanders. Your pretty close to what i was looking for, i mean you remind me a lot of honkey lighthouse, your a bum and about the only thing in your life that you've been able to beat is your penis. So how do i get in touch with you, i'll be looking you up as soon as Honkey Lighthouse realizes hes a worthless piece of garbage and commits suicide or the XWF decides that they have had enough of one idiot and are ready to hire a new one. Bum:Well you can useually find me right down the street, i live right behind the old abandoned K-Mart. El Villano:Okay, well don't come looking for me, i'll come looking for you, NEXT! *Next up steps a man wearing a KKK outfit. El Villano jumps up and ddts him into the table* El Villano:Fuckin dumbass *With that El Villano walks away entering the arena and then his dressing room. He sits in a nearby chair and looks directly into the camera* El Villano:Champion, a warrior or fighter, a militant advocate or defender, one that does battle for another's rights or honor, one who shows marked superiority. When i think about champions i think of Villano I through Villano IV, i think of Hector Guerrero, i think of Mil Mascaras, and when i think of champions, i think of myself. When people look at me they can see the same thing because although i do take pride in myself and my acomplishments in the ring, i take more pride in what i can accomplish when it comes to the honor and the tradition of my family. Honkey all you did with your last promo is prove just how much of a garbage gimmick wrestler that you really are. You belong in the same catagory as Goldust, ICP, The Boogey Man, and The Bushwackers. I belong in the same catagory as the Chris Benoits, The Bret Harts, The Dean Malenkos, THE VILLANOS!!!!! Its going to be my pleasure to destory you at Bring The Pain and show everybody what a real champion, A REAL WRESTLER looks like. I'll see you in the ring funny boy, you know, thr place where you can't get the job done. *With that the camera fades to black* |
