You found it. The place to buy all the stuff you hate. Jon and Ric do all the hating so you dont have to. We know it took some time to get this site looking worth while but it was all so we could put something on the web that just might even offend Anal Cunt (we can only hope). Im saying all this as if anyone besides Ric and Jon are ever going to to read it but oh well. This label does in fact have it all . Go on shop around see what you like and hate mail us to let us know how you fell (feelings are for pussies go write a poem HOMO).Due to the content of what we sell and at all costs of sounding like a pc thug to place an order you must... 1st e-mail us at stinkywinkyweezleteeths@yahoo.com to let us know what you prefer CD's - $3.00 - CDR's $1.00 , 7" - $5.00 we dont over complicate our prices. 2nd upon recieving your e-mail we will then respond with a p.o. box address letting you know where to send your money or CDR yes thats right we will burn copies for $1.00 as said above. 3rd Of course you need to include your mailing address!(we wont send any Anthrax that band sucks)With all CDR orders you need to include a S.A.S.E and well genius you got it a CDR.We charge nothing for the music and plastic itself only shipping so your money goes only to uncle fucker sam. And last but not least ENJOY.
Soon to be on shelves just in time for christmas is the patriotic "G.I. Jew and the zyclone b flats" Now folks I heard a sampler from this one and I got to tell ya this can bring back flashbacks for those born in poland from 1922-2004. I mean this is some funny shit. The boys really go all out with this funky disco sound to provide you with hits like..."mama aint got no skin" and
"Germany sure knows how to kill some Jew" This project still has alot of work. Just like the German workforce but hey I think its worth the wait.So kids keep your stupid hoodies covered in gay patches and your hair died whatever your mood cause youll all get your chance to pick this one up(aval now)
UPDATE 11-9-04
I have much news concerningThe Alpha MaleFirst I would like to announce that for the first time in Criminal Records pathetic history we have become profitable. Yes thats right. We paid out label money to release label music and we had a positive return. Who would have thunk it. I know compared to many other labels we dont sell many records butThe ALPHA MaLeHas sold right about 2000 copies of the Middleman ep. I think this has to do with the fact that this disc was actually released to a few record stores and has had pretty good play on a couple of analog radio stations in our local region and several webstations. Plus we didnt just sit on our asses waiting for someone to order via e-mail. So with that I must say thatThe AlPhA MaLEwill be releasing a preview record of sorts. This will be avail around the middle of December and will have 5 songs. These songs will be recorded at the criminal records homebase studio INNOVATIVE STUDIOS.The life span of this release will be short-lived due to upcoming obligations on part oftHe AlPhA mAlE We will be recording this record in the same fashion of the middleman ep. Jon Howard will be playing all instruments and so on. The upcoming release in all likely hood will be done much differently and released on a different label. The recordings will take place in New York the second week of January. The funds for this recording will be coming from an outside producer. It will be recorded in a live forum with a Drummer and Guitarist. The reason for the preview recording is that we would like to have one untamperd with document of The Alpha Male in its original incarnation. The Alpha Male will play a show with full band in tow sometime in late January.
99willdie
99willdieThe record is ready! We finally got the record finished and it should (we Hope)Have this disc ready by the first week of january. So order it. Its hard as a rawk woo hoo
9/12/04
Well lets see this is the first up date ive put up here for a while...hell I think its the first bit of updating ever. I'll start with a new band called THE FANG!
All I can say to discribe this stuff is simply "rock n Roll". Its kinda of like as if Ac/Dc were tortured into playing with with the guys from Fu Manchu or the The Dwarves
The First release is titled "Sharp wit and Sharper Knives". This is (at the moment) a 3 song demo that was recorded @ innovative studios sometime last year. THe lyrical basis revolves around the many many stories of abuse that has risen from many many nights of drinking and beating the shit out of eachother. The band @ the moment are in somewhat of a limbo type state.We are without a bassist and we have alot of other crap going on as well. So being as that we only play once every while ...but we are often prepared for the last minute mystery pills and late night punk rock show.
2/4/05
THEFANGGood news for The Fang fans that may or may not still exist. They are back from limbo and are working on new material for yet another rude and intoxicated release as far as I can tell from speaking with a few members of the band they are in good order and have a solid bassist. The new bassist is former canyonero thud stick wielder Willie "no means go" Metzger. I asked Willie what he thought about joining up and he said " I was sorta in the band a while back but things got in the way of practice. I actually appear on the sharp wit ep" The guys will likely go into the studio sometime this summer. As for more recent news a show is being booked at a club called ___ somthing__Tabenackle in Fort Wayne sometime within the next couple of monthsNow for the tale of THE ALPHA MALEBasically its just me working out some pretty old material that ive needed to unload for quite a while. As far as discriptions go I have heard that it sounds a touch likeThe Minutemen
I have been listening toMike Watt for so many years that his style has rubbed off on me a bit but none of his talent
Below youll find a link to listen to 3 of the songs. If you like The record "No Middleman" is availible it has 12 songs total and some neat packaging.
As for All releases from both bands are still available so if you want em just go thru the motions. Both records are full of many mean mean songs the kinda stuff that will have the world treating you like your a part of the AlQuida. So order today you terrorist son of a bitch!
Also as of 10/7/04 99 WILL DIE is now officially part of the criminal Records ugly family. So give them a cold welcome and check out theyre spot.
I have also added a few links one to HOT HEAD RECORDS!
This guy has some good stuff to sell ya! I would suggest "Fearless Leader" They have a song called "shes got Cancer" and boy that just cracks me up. Another cool link is to THE FANGS! Official website it doesnt have any music to listen to just yet but there is alot of photos from live shows and many more photos of other bands we have played with at a club called THE WHAREHOUSE. Many of the other bands are from all over the country so when we go on tour next summer (so long as we didnt piss them all off) we should have few places to Crash.
Last but not least I added some photos for yall to check out. 
They arent very entertaining but I like em! SO enjoy and Buy stuff.
Below youll find links to the offical home pages of some of our recently signed bands. There will be more to come such as the "The Hooligans" , "Cute Aids Monkey" , "Swampussy" , "The Jon Howard Clap Contagion" and many more!
We are adding a webstrip soon!
