"Your Royal Majesty, The Queen,
In regards to recent incidence, involving the inept doings of one Mister Michel Tamboline, I am quite pleased to announce his disappearance amidst the scheme of things. We, the Royal Majesty's Legions, shall endeavor to procure the criminals at large~these...creatures...of unnatural aura and design. That they should spring forth from the kingdom of animals, and so influence the intellect of logical man, can only be attributed to the doings of the satanic being, Lucifer.
There is one unfortunate event I must make you aware of. It would seem, before his disappearance, that Mister Tamboline has...uhm...taken the Crown Jewels. This is not to say that we cannot retrieve them. The speed in which he performed his shakedown, the breaking of the stern cable, and his sprinting away with the head of all prestigious matters, was quite astonishing and unexpected.
What result of this bold maneuver has yet to be determined, though, it can be imagined quite easily, this will not sit well within the framework of the public domain. To think the Royal Jewels were so swiftly relinquished could be construed as most scandalous. Yet, never fear, Darling of darlings, highest of Monarchs, I, Cassanova, shall reclaim the Jewels in your Royal Majesty's name and see to it the perpetrator has his Jewels in a sling!
This uprising of sinners and vagrants shall be extinguished and put to death. There is one other matter of considerable urgency, Majesty. The location of the sacred relic has been disturbed and may be missing as well. This, as of yet, is to be confirmed. Nevertheless, thou shalt find me ever vigilant in my duties.
Your humble servant,
Cassanova"
May 5th, 1355 A.D.
"Your Royal Majesties,
In regards to the super-powered riots that befell London shortly after the removal of the Crown Jewels, this was an unintentional consequence of our actions. One Jewel in particular is of great import to the well-being of the world at large. It is, however, a forgone conclusion that the Royal Court shall now seek my head for this crime. In spite of this, I must insist on ensuring that the Jewels fall not into corrupt hands, as I fear certain individuals in your employ may have. This reason alone, treason not withstanding, dictates the necessity for the complete secrecy of the whereabouts of your family Jewels. You have my sincerest apologies for any inconvenience this may have incured.
Sincerely,
Michel Tamboline
P.S. You can tell that Cassanova to kiss my ass."
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