i can't read this book. it's not because it's a bad book, or because i'm illiterate; it's just because when i go out there all these people come in there and interrupt me. i can't read it back here because people will come in and look into this office and say "oh he's just reading a book. he's obviously too good to come help us." which is true. i am too good for them. but it still doesn't look good. and i already don't look good. when you put two and two together you just get one big ugly pile of bad; and today i don't want to look like a pile of bad. i think after i finish this load of Steven Kinginess i'm gonna read Plato's Republic again. i read it a couple years ago but i read it in little pieces here and there and i am a lot more interested now. also; the complete works of chuang tzu is good. i found it the other day and might read that again. i just remembered chinese people cut their feet off a lot in those times. it was punishment for every crime. they should do that here. if you are caught wrapping my cat in masking tape, or yelling at your family when you live next door to important ME; i shall cut off your foot. you have no honour anyways, and you have offended mine.

 also the reason i keep writing this stuff instead of working or reading my book is probably because i drank like 135981735 gallons of coffee this morning. it wasnt like i needed to, it is just because it is there and and i needed to keep myself busy. this is the boringest day of the entire summer, and it should be really busy because it is a saturday on a long weekend. the only people who come in (besides the bacon-lake-guy and people who use the washroom) are confused chinese tourists. chinese people are okay with me; but they need to learn how to read a map and speak english before they come to north america. it always take me like 39751 years to explain something simple like "you take the next left off the highway onto deer lake road and follow that to the park" or "you have about half an hour before you get to south river." (i recommend you check out bacon lake. it's the eighth wonder of the world!) i still like chinese people a lot, though. they make good food, and they can like forty-seven family members into their green Aerosport minivan. also, they always have cute daughters/wives. they just can't read maps very well. but i'm a canadian irish british guy which means i just wear beaverskin hats and cut down trees and eat potatos all day.

  i promise that from now on the things i write for this stupid website  wont be so incredibly long and run-on-ish but you must understand that  i have drank a lot of coffee and it's really boring here. also i've  never had to use a pen today, so there are no doodlings for you yet.  this may be boring, but this job is still a lot better than home  hardware. if i can tell you anything useful today it is this: NEVER and  i mean EVER get a job at a department store. all you will do is walk  around all day looking at shelves and making sure every product is  facing the right direction and is pulled to the front of the shelf to  make it look like there is a lot more stock than there really is. when they feel like actually making you do something; you have to go into  the back room and assemble barbeques and mops and porch lighting. it is  the stupidest, most boring job ever. also, if you are a student they  will give you crappy little three hour shifts during the week and then  make you come in from 9 am til 6 pm saturday and then like 8 am sunday  and stuff. the only benefit of working at the hardware store is that  it's really big and you can hide from your boss by just walking all  over the place a lot. but if he sees you he'll tell you to tuck your  shirt in and go mix paint or copy a key for somebody. hardware stores  are stupid.

 i have to keep getting up to help stupid people find things on their maps because they can't read. AHA! just after i typed that sentence, i had to go out there again. and guess what? it was some other guy who can't read a map. he had a mullet and his socks were pulled up to his knees; he is about 45 minutes too far past the exit, and he told me that he missed because his girlfriend was listening to crappy opera music and he couldn't pay attention. i guess it wasnt as good as his Whitesnake cassette. AARRRRGGGGGHHH i just had to go out there AGAIN. it looks like it is going to be a busy afternoon. but i will stay back here and pretend to be actually busy so i only have to go out and help people who stand at the counter looking dumb. abraham lincoln just came in and took like fifty things from the donation area and left a whopping dollar seventyfive. "hey big spender. this place is in major debt, but your $1.75 will keep it open for about sixtyseven more years. it is highly appreciated!"

 also everytime i go out there i have to hear the crappy music on the radio. usually i am listening to bright eyes or beck or something good, but i didnt bring my cd player so it is FM radio day! today i have heard Gordon Lightfoot, Ozzy's 'dreamer' song, the Mmmhmmmhmmmhmmm song by Crash Test Dummies, Avril Lavigne, "Breakfat at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something (that is actually the name of that band), and some Eric Clapton song. while pretty dull, these wouldn't bother so much if they didn't play the same freakin songs every day on this station; and it is the only thing we get besides CBC radio here. CBC radio is the worst. i listen to it sometimes in my dad's truck because it is the only thing that comes in on his crappy radio. CBC radio is lways something really dumb. it usually goes like this: radio talk show about some middle aged woman's sex life. twenty minute poetry reading by hipsters and nature people. then some reviews of the latest canadian indie rock CD's; which is interesting for a few minutes, but they never actually play the music - only talk about it. then some guy will read a play for an hour, and all the characters are played by him, all in the same voice. then they interview some really old poet or painter or something that nobody ever heard of. then they play a 20 minute flute/bagpipe peice with 2-chord acoustic guitar playing to back it up. then they have somebody come on and talk about the latest news in iraq. then the hipsters come back to read poetry and talk about their indie music. then it all starts again with the old lady talkshows.

 woah. my cursor just turned green. i realize this is probably not the most exciting thing you've ever read; but since you're this far, you probably have nothing better to do. i know that it's not too interesting, but i don't talk about all the crappy personal life shit because i'm not one of those livejournal dark-goth=people, and i figure this is a lot more entertaining to read than that kind of crap. who wants to hear about my girl problems and how my parents don't understand me? that's right. nobody. especially not you. which is why you're here. because you started reading this entry 3582713598 pages ago and realized it's not some 12-year-old-poser-goth-slacker-girl's bitchy whiny darkjournal or whateverthefuck so it's probably slightly more interesting.

 it also just occured to me that pretty much all i've done today is drink coffee and talk to chinese people and type runon conversations with myself. just for the record; i DO have a life. i just leave it at home when i go to work. work makes me transform a boring coffee zombie. i must still be the master of time, though; because i seem to have slowed it down quite a bit.

 tonight i hope to get to town so i can finally rent adaptation. usually my life is more exciting, but since i work weekends now, i can't exactly go out partying all night and then take the bus back home at 3:30 and then get up at 8 for work. i may be a superhero with time powers, but i can't freeze it while i'm asleep.. yet. anyways, adaptation. it keeps escaping me, but this weekend i'm finally going to see it. it better not disappoint me, but since i'm an indielectual who likes boring movies, i'll probably like it. if i can't get out to rent movies, i'm going to stay at home and work on some music. i've got all these songs that aren't quite done. they would be done, but i just brought my Casio CZ-100 from like 1981 (B.C.). It has like 12 (or maybe 16) different instruments on it, all of which sound like crap. it is super-80's. i want to work it into all my not-quite-finished songs so that they can have a layer of screechy sounding strings or a "flat" sounding really fake electric piano. it'll be crap-tastic. while we're on the topic of making music, if you are a singer or play any instruments really good; email me (theneonraindeer@yahoo.ca) and we'll collaborate and do something wonderful. all you need is the internet, some kind of recording stuff, and to not be a huge douchebag with no talent. unless you're name is Kevin Alborough and you wear glasses and everybody says you're 'indie', you can't get away with being a lame musician.

 meh. it's 1:52 now. it didn't really take an hour to write all that. i just had to keep getting up and helping people. also some radio people came to give me free pop but i'm afraid to open it because i might go crazy from too much caffeine. anywho, i'm done now; probably for the rest of the day. sorry for boring you if you read al 9535135 pages of this, but like i said; you had nothing better to do if you did.

later skater... dater.. hater... masturbator