TIME: So, Omar, how does it feel to be the target of the hit newcomer band Ballistic Hairspray?
OMAR: At first it hurt, but then i realized everything Bahb [singer of Ballistic Hairspray] was saying is... well, true.
That it is...
What?
Nothing. And what are your thoughts on Bahb's announcement that there will be a "Die Omar" trilogy?
What?
He told reporters that there will be three albums based off of his hatred for you.
I was never informed of this.
Maybe because everyone hates you?
Maybe.
And does the fact that you are Catholic explain why you suck so much?
What? I'm Muslim.
Catholic, Muslim, it's all the same.
But it's no-
But seriously, is that why you suck so much?
No.
Is it because you are ugly?
No.
So why do you suck so much?
Can we change the subject?
Okay. How many girlfriends do you have?
Six.
Family doesn't count.
Ok, three then.
Kids don't count either.
Fine, two girlfriends.
Animals are definitely off the list.
One.
Oh, and dead girls don't count.
I'm single.
You like food?
[giggles like a school girl] yes.
Is that why you suck?
I don't suck.
Bahb seems to think so.
Bahb doesn't know everything!
Yes he does. He is the smartest man alive.
Did Bahb pay you off?
Seriously, Omar, this is Time magazine, people do not "pay us off". Everyone that has at least graduated preschool knows you suck.
This interview is over.