today i realized, after going to work, that my summer job is done. finished. i am no longer employed by the federated department stores of america... i am a free woman. thank god.
it is also my birthday today.
i am a legal adult, weary of anything mature. i'm not ready to be all... boring. in fact: i mean not to be. but in all reality my life is indeed boring.
my friends had a party last night... a drunk and alcohol related, going away party for bianca. anything that has substance abuse intended in the purpose i am not invited, nor do i wish to join in with. the reason you ask? 89 days in rehab will do it to you.
my friend, and my brother mike called me last night. we spent those 89 days together at visions adolescent treatment center. he has relapsed, and i don't expect him to live the year out. i am the only one who has graduated from the program without leaning on death. i am still depressed and lonely... knowing that i can't join in with all the fun young adult activities.
i am in love with a boy. his name is matthew. matt, really, is the best guy i've met.. one who really does care for me... and actually gives me the time of day unlike other people i have been with in the past. its different with matt. i believe, in reality, he is the one. that was awfully brave of me to type that in here, but its true. i have never felt so sure of something before.
i'm off to celebrate my jobless 18th birthday.