march 4,2005
the 20 questions start.
the whys, the 100 word essays
the when are you going to be that way with me?
a dream i had june 12,2005
we looked into eachothers eyes last night, for the first time,
and we knew, that God knew, what we know.
this indescribable connection,this innocent extraordinary exception,
planned out before our parents first saw our tiny toes.
our smiles were the perfect hint within the first micro second, it was pure and completely
unlike those fairytales that school teachers told.
The day was spent with arms wrapped and feet in sync. You went away at the end of the day.
on the phone you said
"i have something planned."
When tomorrow came, a box was sent. i popped in this video and turned on the screen.
it was a documentray of the love we got to see.
march 27,2005
things i am thankful for:
1.i am single.
2.i have a 62 nova
3.my parents are still married.
4.God is good
5.i know alot of awesome music
6.painting for people makes me happy
august 7th 2005
back to erasing the scar from my heart, where i can search to the core.
midnight frights, tomorrow another phone call,
m.a.s.h
maybe my sweets will come along
we will sing to the twinkling in our eyes
i crossed out your and my name from the t-r-u-e- l-o-v-e game
0T's 3R'S 0U'S
2L's 2O's 0V's and 4 double E's
forget me so, x's and o's, me*
I am not meant to be single, you see i got a 56%
august 28,2005
teach me to end this lonely trip, show me the road i need to follow,that slender road where joy and peace are found.i am leaving my past , heart and mind,the tears and the laughter
you promise so much more than what my hope can ever give me, i am left helpless every try.
11.04.05
lying on my floor crying ,we are poor as poor can be
they say they miss me already but i knew i had to let their anchor go.
they demanded me to attend the meeting but id rather just not go
if i have to seee them if i have to pretend we are still friends
cause we are only words in a diary ,pictures in a photobook.
i used to wave and be glad to see them but now i act like them
i pretend i never noticed, i leave no trace of careing affection.
who are you all when you say you miss me?
who are you people that claim me to be someone in particular
you do not know me.
so far away from the one i love
where have i gone, ive wondered off.
come prance around your loving grace
im cold as winter on an early autumn day.
11.13.05
In past years I’d get too involved but this time it will be opposite
I will stand tall and be engaged in other activities
You will be there, in my mind, but I won’t let you press pause.
I do wonder and wish for some type of glitch we can cause to spark a new found and lasting love. But my parents tell me of chaos and future drama unfolds.
If you honestly thought you could love me again then why are you still too busy to call?
Whatever your reasons, remind your self of who I am, a woman too insecure and lonely to try with you or make the first realistic move. I wont pay for your visits, you never cared to for all my times.
