.................
the 20 questions start.
the whys, the 100 word essays
the when are you going to be that way with me?

....my dream.....
we looked into eachothers eyes last night, for the first time,
and we knew, that God knew, what we know.
this indescribable connection,this innocent extraordinary exception,
planned out before our parents first saw our tiny toes.
our smiles were the perfect hint within the first micro second, it was pure and completely
unlike those fairytales that school teachers told.
The day was spent with arms wrapped and feet in sync. You went away at the end of the day.
on the phone you said
"i have something planned."
When tomorrow came, a box was sent. i popped in this video and turned on the screen.
it was a documentray of the love we got to see.

............

...oct 2.2005...
i had the worst dream ever
still i will keep praising your name
and when it is all over you will let me know
how i should deal with him
who i can love
when to let go
how not to worry
where to begin because
im starting to not believe that you can heal me again.
take away what continues to tear my trust
erase the lies that draw me pictures that aren't true.

...july 18 2005...
father i can't fantom how much you mean to me
your glory is beyond familiar cities and foreign towns that i will never see in my days
your grace has captivated me
the adversary has broken the record of your God chosen song
take our broken vessels at least my obvious bruises
let me knowwhat is going on

...june 17 2005...
face it girls, it will never be easy with the opposite sex
when it comes to "just friendship"
"i guess i can't get over you, goodbye kim" was his last text (blah)

...july 10 2005...
what if he is mr amazing?
what if he loves me?
what if he always loved me?
i'll pray to see if you love me
i hope you pray, i hope
but if you are not the one meant for me
you will always be extremely amazing.