In an elementary school called Freewill, I was shy, but popular. When I moved to Palmyra, I gained lots of weight, developed ADD and lost all the friends I made because I was "held back."

In sixth grade, I lost all my so-called friends in an attempt to be 'cute' with the wrong person. Which sprung a false rumor of my sexuality.

In eighth grade, Summer, the new girl, took me under her wing, no questions asked, and taught me how to be free. And I learned how to make friends by being me, and when I realized this was not too good to be true, Summer was gone. Shipped from foster home to foster home.

High school was different. As a freshman, I knew many seniors. But without Summer, I was afraid to spread my wings. Then I met Kelly. Slowly, we became best friends. Almost sisters. And though we may now be hanging by a thread, it's a golden thread, strong as the gods.

Early in tenth grade, the first boy I liked, Larry, died of cancer. They sang 'Time of Your Life' at his wake.

I left high school with a multitude of friends, some so close, I never saw them again. On my last day of school, my best guy friend, Josh, who gave me a reason to smile, killed himself.

My first drink was at a Josh memorial party the same night as the tragedy. And after three vegetarian years, I had two steaks for breakfast. Several months of being dead inside, my sister extended an invitation to a tripple birthday party for her and some friends.

Poppy's house was an amazing place. Every weekend there was a party where people gathered, drank and got along. This became a weekly ritual I always looked forward to.

I met Matt at Poppy's. It was his party and he spent a great portion of it getting wasted and talking to me. The next time I saw him, he remembered my name, but very little else. I truly felt good inside because of this fact. Later, we would develope a special friendship that would nearly be ruined in a drunken night of lust.

On Thanksgiving of 2001 I ran away from home to live with my former boss Zabrina. Her and her friends soon became my new family.

We went to see Pigface together, a band I now see by tradition. I met Zach there. When I was 14 years old, I invented him from his long hair and chamelion eyes to his guinea pig job and videogame addiction. I never intended to meet him. He took my chastity and my heart, and he may just have been one of the best things to come into my life.

For a short while, I was on the rebound with Ryan, who lived several hundred miles away. Through him, I found myself to be a part of the Rocky Horror Picture show as part time rocky. This event would be the high point in my life, so far.

Now I'm with Jon. I feel a warm sensation toward him. The relationship reminds me of mine with Zach, which I dispise because Zach dumped me without warning. But I still love him.

And after all these little things I've been through, I'm moving back home and starting school. A good move financially, but spending a day there, I remember why I ran away in the first place.

My dad stopped being dad when I was in perhaps seventh grade. He started doing heavy drugs and being a dick every chance he could. I always avoided interaction when I lived there. But I may just be the only one left who still loves him.

Nichole, my little sister was messed up pretty roughly by him. He never hit us, but she took his mind games to heart. She gets violent when she's stressed and cries when she misplaces her keys.

Mom takes "make-daddy-go-away" pills. She goes to school and reads tarot cards and whatnot for money. She thinks she's done a terrible job at mothering, but she was amazing. I never knew until recently that we use to live piss poor.

So now I'm going back. Starting the next chapter in my life. I hope it goes well.