Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I have ever known in my entire life.

Everyone needs a friend. Even those who claim they don’t want a friend always treasure someone. People thrive on people. And some, such as myself, live for their friends.

All the people I have had the pleasure of coming across throughout the course of my life has done something, to their knowledge or not, to shape me into the person I am today. They have kept my heart pumping warm blood through my veins rather than spilling it onto the bathroom floor. These people I speak of, they seem to have an uncanny power over the corners of my mouth. And I feel like I could do just about anything when they stand by my side.

I thought for sure that I would never last pass the age of eighteen, which was how old I was when one of my best friends died a most brutal death. This person, this amazing person could lift my spirits merely with his presence. He was there at all the times I needed him most. I had the most terrible job working at the local fast food joint, and to show how terrible this job was, I will tell you that I never cussed once before I began working there. Every time I thought I might lose my mind and hide in my room the rest of my life just rocking back and forth, he showed up and gave me a hug. I stayed social because he showed me what friends can do. He made me realize that I needed not to worry if I surrounded myself with people that cared about me. So I stayed alive inside to honor his memory.

Another treasured friend of the male tribe showed me how to enjoy a party and taught me it was okay to be myself. He can be frighteningly grumpy at times and crass to the point of agony, but I love him to death. This is the first person (not of family) that told me he loved me. I never thought it was possible for someone to love me, yet there he was, telling me to my face. I wished nothing more than to stay in his arms forever, letting him tell me he loves me. There is no greater feeling than this. He taught me that I do indeed deserve love, contrary to what I believed previous to our introduction. He taught me that I actually am desirable and to use that to my advantage. I have lived with the promise that when I have no one to love, I can always love him. That alone is worth staying alive.

My “future self”, formerly my boss, currently my roommate, taught me that it is all right to let yourself go, just as long as you can bring yourself back again. Her methods of keeping me going through stormy weather is letting me know that I certainly do not have it as bad as others may have it. She assures me that all these feelings are normal and that things may not get easier, but they will get easier to deal with. Her horror stories make mine seem like fairy tales. I have known her for two years now, and she has taught me responsibility beyond my capability. Never did I believe in myself so much as I do now thanks to her persistence and random threats to kick my ass.

My most cherished friend of nearly seven years has stuck with me through thick and thin and in between and back again. I need her as much as she needs me. Born and raised complete opposites, we have learned so much from each other. She learned how to enjoy herself and at least try to be social and accept the abnormal, and I learned that I am weird and frightening and I do not even have to try. A lot can be said about her and I, but I will leave it up to us to fill you in on all the things we have gone through together, from fighting over the radio, to stalking the enemy, from Denny’s and Mark’s, to nitrous oxide leaking into the car, from sharing clothes and stories, to sharing love interests and hallucinations…

These are the days, these are the lives, these are my friends.