Small Time Quotes
”Do I have to agree with you, or do I have to agree with what’s right?”
Stick
”You’re not a disappointment to me… you’re just sorta the off-season.”
Adam
”Let all who oppose me see the world through my eyes.”
Me
”You have bad taste in smells.”
Evan
”What is it with you and always wanting to DO stuff?”
Damian
”Ok, apparently we can’t think of anything good to say,” ”Don’t do drugs!” “Except for ‘don’t do drugs’, isn’t that the witty one of the day…”
Larry and Me trying to make an answering machine message.
”I’m off like a prom dress!”
Adam
”I hate EBM… If I wanted to hear metronome, I would glue my watch to my ear.”
Voltaire (he's not really my friend, but he's hot)
”Don’t count your chicken with a shotgun, ok?”
Me
”Your gums are the equivalent of a ninety seven year old’s who’s never seen a toothbrush.
Dr. Sannon (thanks doc)
”I’m choking on Life!”
Bethany, choking on Life cereal.
”Stars are for scientists.”
Ryan, a Gemini to a Scorpio
”There’s a time and a place for everything and it’s called college, damnit.”
Nichole
”Of course the world should be fair… life should be fair, but if the world were fair, it’d also be near perfect, and perfection isn’t believable.”
Jennifer
”I have to write that down. I don’t think I have any Kelly Quotes.” Why not? I say plenty of stupid stuff.
Me and Kelly
”I can’t remember to forget her.”
Zabrina
”Oh, deary Dear, your tight wet vagina draws my cock to it like flies on shit.”
The British Nobleman, Zachary
”Hips, tits, lips- POWER!”
Pigface
”Real women have stretchmarks.”
Zabrina
”I hate it when people assume that I’m a complete blithering idiot. At least give me the chance to prove that I’m a complete blithering idiot. Wait a minute…”
Tom
”Just get your ass over here so I can fuck you before the concert.”
Zach
”Look out Britney Spears, I’m gonna kick your ass!”
Kelly
”I’m so escited I could just shit a party of five!”
Me (alas)
”Let’s bust a joint!”
Christine
”More so than any candy, your smile can make the world a sweeter place.”
anon
”You sit here thinking about eating people and then complain about me picking up turtle shit?”
Zabrina
”Put your clothes back on so I can finish making the bed.”
Zach, being romantic.
”Fucked if I know, Spagetti-Slinger!”
Me to Nichole who is not Italian (apologies to the offended).
”Snotrockets!”
Me after hearing Christine blow her nose
It’s amazing how every time you open your mouth, you prove you’re an idiot!”
Person What’s the disease you can get if you don’t wash your hands after playing with the turtle?” “Salmonella?” “SHIT!”
Zabrina and Me
”Show me the smile that contains nothing behind your eyes.”
Sheldon
”It’s your sister’s birthday… you forgot, didn’t you?” ”Sure would be stupid as hell to say ‘yes’ now, wouldn’t it?”
Mom and Me
”Hey, is there a mailbox at the post office?”
Nichole, asking about the bank.
”I talked to Mellissa earlier ago.”
Abbey
”Only YOU can prevent colonization.”
Erik
”My milkshake looks like poop.”
Kelly (thanks McDonald’s)
"Zach, you're much better at eating pussy." "Wasn't that an episode of the Brady Bunch?"
Me and Larry