Chapter Forty-One


Marshall came to a screeching halt in Brian’s driveway, not even noticing the extra cars in the driveway in his hurry to get inside and get to AJ.  Bounding up the steps he got to the door just as it swung open and an irate Brian stood in his way.

“What are you doing here?”

“Get the fuck out of my way.”  Marshall growled.

Brian’s stomach flipped in fear, but he held his ground.  “No.  Get out of here or I call the police.  You’re not needed here.  I don’t care if you are AJ’s boyfriend, this is my home…”

Marshall snarled and shoved Brian out of his way, stepping inside his house.  “Where is he?”

Brian whirled around, looking past Marshall to Nick and Howie, who had arrived just minutes ago, deciding to come over early since they hadn’t had anything else to do that day and had been hanging out at Howie’s house bored.

“Nick, call the police.”

Nick hesitated, clearly not wanting to go against his best friend, but equally unsure about siding with him over Marshall.  AJ wouldn’t be too happy about Marshall getting arrested because of Brian, and besides, the publicity wouldn’t be good for any of them.

“Brian, are you sure?  The publicity would be bad for all of us, and AJ would be really pissed at you.”  Even as Nick was speaking, Marshall had brushed past him and Howie, heading down the hallway, checking every doorway he came to.

Howie piped in then.  “Where is AJ anyway?  And Kevin for that matter?”

Nick studied Brian’s suddenly apprehensive expression and the answer hit him.  “Tell me you didn’t.”

Howie turned to Nick.  “Didn’t what?”

Nick glanced at Howie before turning back to Brian.  “Remember the last two times AJ and Kevin had a huge falling out…besides the whole Boston incident I mean?”

Howie’s eyes widened, and he turned to Brian.  “You locked them in a room together again?”

Brian flinched.  “Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time…”

Nick shook his head.  “The other times they were dating.  It’s different now.  They aren’t just going to kiss and make up.  I’m betting Marshall’s here because AJ called him.”

Brian shook his head.  “No.  I took the phone out of the room.”

Howie quirked a brow at him.  “Ever heard of a cell, Bri?”

Brian swore under his breath.  “AJ never charges his though.”

“But Kevin does.”  Nick commented.

Brian glanced down the hall, in time to see Marshall turn a corner out of site, headed in the opposite direction of the music room.  Turning back to Nick and Howie, he pleaded, “Come on, guys.  You have to back me up here.  I’m not just doing this for the group.  Kevin’s a mess and AJ’s angry all the time.  They need to work through whatever’s wrong.  I need you to help me keep Marshall away from them.”

Nick and Howie looked at each other uncomfortably, then looked back at Brian.  Nick was the one who spoke.  “This isn’t right.  You shouldn’t have done that and if AJ was desperate enough to most likely use Kevin’s phone to call Marshall, than he really doesn’t want to be in there.  I’m not going to help you keep him there.”

Howie nodded his agreement, and Brian’s shoulders slumped.  Just then, Marshall came back into site, deciding the house was too big to keep randomly searching.  Heading with purpose toward Brian, he didn’t stop until he was in his face, inches away.

“Tell me where the fuck they are right now and I won’t beat you to within an inch of your life.”

Brian swallowed hard at the barely leashed fury in Marshall’s eyes, and Nick stepped forward.  “Marshall, come on.  AJ wouldn’t want you to hurt Brian.”

Marshall didn’t look away from Brian as he answered, “No he wouldn’t, but I will anyway if it gets AJ out of there faster.”

Brian stiffened, anger overcoming his fear for a minute, unable to understand why Marshall was reacting so strongly to this.  “Why?  What’s so bad about them being forced to talk out whatever’s wrong?  Or are you worried it won’t stop there?  Maybe you think AJ’ll end up cheating on you.  Is that it?  Not quite as secure in your relationship as you want to be?”

As the last word left his mouth, Marshall shot out a hand, grabbing Brian by the throat and shoving him back against the wall.  He had promised AJ he’d only do what was necessary to get him out of that room, and he intended to keep that promise.  Brian, however, didn’t have to know that.

With his face inches away, he ignored Brian’s fingers reaching for his hand on his throat and ordered, “Tell.  Me.  Where.  They.  Are.”

Nick and Howie hung back, unsure what to do.  Marshall wasn’t actually hurting Brian, and they knew they’d have no luck getting Brian to tell them where the other guys were, so they decided to wait and see what would happen, poised to intervene if it looked like Marshall was about to do some damage.

Brian stared Marshall right in the eye, knowing Nick and Howie wouldn’t let Marshall actually hurt him and said resolutely, “No.”

Marshall pulled back a fist to hit him, but was stopped by two hands clamping down on his arm.  He turned and threatened, “Nick, let me go or else.”

Nick swallowed, but held tight.  “No.  I can’t let you hurt Brian.”

“But you can let Kevin hurt AJ?”  Marshall challenged, immediately regretting his words, knowing the can of worms he’d just opened.

Brian picked up on the comment, and asked, “What do you mean?  Kevin wouldn’t hurt him.”

Marshall looked back at Brian and laughed humorlessly as Howie tried in vain to pry the man’s hand away from Brian’s throat.  “That what you think?  God are you fucking clueless.  That hick act isn’t an act at all, is it?”

Nick opened his mouth to agree with Brian, that Kevin wouldn’t hurt AJ, but then he thought about it.  Really thought about it.  In Boston, it had definitely seemed like he had been ready to hurt AJ.  That had been why Nick had broken his hand punching him.  And then, up until he had found Kevin drunk in his house a few days before they met up in New York, Kevin had been steadily going off the deep end.  And what Kevin had said when he did show up at his house, about AJ not being able to forgive him for what he’d done…Nick paled.

“Brian.  Tell him where they are.  Now.  Brian.  Brian!”

Brian tore his eyes away from Marshall to look at Nick’s stricken expression.  “What? You too now?”

Sighing, Brian looked back at Marshall, but wasn’t quite ready to just give in.  “Give me one good reason why I should.  Besides the bodily harm you seem to want to inflict on me.”

Marshall leaned close to Brian’s face once again and said coldly, “Kevin tried to rape him.  I stopped it.  That reason enough?”

All the color drained from Brian’s face.  Nick and Howie dropped their hands from trying to restrain Marshall from hurting him.  Marshall finally released his hold on Brian, backing up a couple steps.  

He cursed himself silently.  He hadn’t wanted to let AJ’s secret out that way.  True, AJ had planned on telling them all at the meeting that day, but it was AJ’s secret to tell, not his.  He was just at his wits end with fear for his lover.  He was so close to him, but yet couldn’t get to him, and it was driving him insane.

In a quiet, near whisper, Brian said, “No.  You’re lying.  Kevin wouldn’t…”

Marshall shook his head at Brian’s stubbornness.  “Yeah, because he’s been so stable lately huh?  Nick’s told me how he’s been acting this last year.  You gonna tell me you didn’t notice he was a little…off?”

“But why…”

“Because he wanted AJ back and AJ told him no.  Kevin didn’t like that answer apparently.”  Marshall spat, disgusted with Brian’s refusal to see the truth.

In the ensuing silence, Howie spoke.  “Brian.  Tell him.  Now.”

That snapped Brian out of his shock, and he stared hard into Marshall’s eyes, seeing the truth there.  His gut twisted at the thought of what AJ had gone through.  Then rage, fast and deadly, coursed through him.  Pushing himself away from the wall, he headed for the music room with purpose, not even pausing to see if the others were following him.  

~   ~&~   ~   ~&~   ~   ~&~   ~

AJ waited for a tense moment for Kevin to get to his feet, but when he didn’t, AJ blinked and stared down at him, noting the blood dripping from his nose and the corner of his mouth.  That wasn’t what extinguished the rage inside him though.  What did that was seeing the look in Kevin’s eyes.  Beyond the pain of the injuries AJ had caused was acceptance.  He had no intention of fighting back.  If AJ hadn’t come to his senses, Kevin would have just laid there and let him beat on him.  

Backing up, unable to believe he had been so close to loosing all control and beating Kevin unconscious, AJ stumbled back into a corner and sank down, drawing his knees up to his chest and resting his forehead on them, wrapping his arms around his legs.  He was sick of everything.  Sick of feeling this intense anger and hatred all the time, sick of his temper snapping constantly, sick of the sick feeling in his gut and the bile rising in his throat anytime he saw Kevin, sick of it all.  He just wanted it to stop.  

After a couple moments, Kevin reached up and wiped at the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, wincing as his hand brushed his already swelling lip.  Softly he said, “I wasn’t attacking you.  I just…I need you to know that.”

AJ lifted his head and shot Kevin a watery, disbelieving gaze.  “Excuse me if I don’t just take your word for that.”

“You were about to smash the guitar…the one Brian’s granddad gave him.  I didn’t want you to do that.  You would have felt like shit about it later.”  Kevin went on to explain, trying not to let AJ’s comment hurt him.

AJ glanced over to the guitar in question and realized Kevin was right…and there was the fact that Kevin hadn’t even fought back when AJ had decked him.  Refusing to look too deeply at that, he said defensively, “And it would have been so hard to just yell at me to stop huh?”

Kevin blanched at the cold tone of AJ’s voice.  “Didn’t know if you actually would listen to me.  You were pretty far gone.”

AJ shrugged noncommittally, but inside, knew Kevin was right.  “Maybe, but you can’t blame me for expecting the worst, can you?”

Kevin shook his head.  “No, I can’t.  But just so you know, what happened at that party will never happen again.  I swear.  I know that doesn’t hold much weight, but it’s the truth.  There’s been plenty of times since that I could have finished what I started there, but I haven’t…and I won’t.”  

At AJ’s doubtful expression, Kevin explained, figuring AJ must have forgotten.  “The room keycards, AJ.  Remember?  I get a backup set for all you guys everywhere we go because of all the times one of you have come back to the hotel in the middle of the night having lost it or forgotten it.  Management just automatically requests they be given to me when I check in.  That whole time we were in New York, I could have gotten into your room anytime I wanted.”

AJ blanched, the color draining from his face.  He’d thought he was safe that whole time, behind his locked hotel room door, but in fact, he’d been the most vulnerable.  Any of those nights, before Marshall had shown up and stayed with him, he could have woken up in the middle of the night with Kevin on top of him, intent on finishing what he started.  He had to swallow to keep from throwing up at the thought.  “Fuck.”

Kevin sighed, his shoulders slumping as he realized his admission hadn’t helped at all to make AJ feel safer with him.  “What can I do to fix this?  There just…there has to be something.  I don’t want you to quit the group because of me.  If anyone should leave it should be me.  Just say the word and I’m gone.  I mean it.”

AJ studied Kevin’s face for a minute and realized he was dead serious.  Too bad it wouldn’t solve the problem.  Shaking his head tiredly, he said, “That wouldn’t be enough.  You want to fix this?  Well, you can’t.  The only thing that would fix this is if you disappeared for good so I wouldn’t have to see or hear from or about you ever again.  Short of that, nothing can fix this.”

Before Kevin could respond, the doors burst open and Brian, followed by Marshall, then Nick and Howie, piled into the room.  The look in Brian’s eyes made Kevin’s stomach drop.  He knew.  Kevin closed his eyes, preparing himself for whatever came next.

Marshall glanced at Kevin, noting the swelling and blood.  His eyes wandered around the room, noting the destruction everywhere, and his blood boiled with renewed rage.  He took a step toward Kevin, but then his eyes lit on AJ huddled in the corner, knees drawn up to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs, and all thoughts except making sure he was all right flew out of his head.

Before AJ could get to his feet, Marshall was by his side, kneeling next to him and wrapping his arms around him.  “Did he hurt you?”  He asked quietly next to his ear.

AJ leaned in against Marshall, breathing a sigh of relief then murmured, “No.  He just tried to stop me from breaking something and I…snapped.  He didn’t even fight back.”

Marshall glanced around the room again, then looked back at AJ.  “You did all this?”

AJ smiled wanly.  “Yeah.  I sorta lost it.”

Before Marshall could comment, they heard Brian’s voice from nearby.  “Aje?”

AJ blinked and looked up into Brian’s worried face, trying to tamp down on the anger he felt toward him for locking him in there with Kevin.  “Yeah?”

“Is it…”  Brian trailed off, cleared his throat, and tried again.  “Is it true?”

Marshall leaned in and said quietly.  “I’m sorry, baby.  I had to tell him so he’d tell me where you were.”

AJ looked over at Marshall’s worried expression and reached up, grabbing on to one of Marshall’s arms surrounding him and squeezing lightly.  “It’s okay.”  Turning back to Brian, he said, “Yeah, it is.”

Brian looked as if he was going to be ill for a minute, then his face twisted in rage and he turned back toward Kevin, flying at him.  Kevin didn’t have time to react, not that he would have lifted a hand against Brian anyway.  He deserved it.  He deserved every punch Brian landed, every hateful word he threw his way.

“You son of a bitch.  How could you!”  Brian screamed, his hand shooting out and connecting with a sickening crack to Kevin’s face.

AJ flinched as he watched Brian hit Kevin and Kevin fall backwards again, his head banging hard against the floor.  Nick and Howie stepped forward to stop Brian from pouncing on Kevin and hitting him again, even though secretly each of them was cheering him on.

Turning away from the scene, AJ whispered hoarsely, “Get me out of here.  Please.”

Marshall didn’t need to be asked twice.  Standing, he pulled AJ up with him, and hand in hand they headed out of the room.  AJ winced when he heard Brian swear at Nick and Howie, demanding to be let go.  Brian never swore.  

~   ~&~   ~   ~&~   ~   ~&~   ~

Brian looked down at Kevin, realizing he hadn’t been the first person to hit him.  There was too much damage and blood for just one hit.  Kevin’s lip was split, his nose was bloody and one of his eyes was nearly swelled shut.  He realized AJ must have landed a few punches before they came in, a fact that helped cool his temper a little.  He stopped struggling with Nick and Howie and said, “I’m fine now.  I won’t hit him again.”

“Brian…”  Nick started, not sure whether to believe him or not.  He’d never seen his friend like that before.

“Nick, I need to go talk to AJ before he leaves.  Let me go.  Please.”  Brian pleaded.

Nick looked at Howie on the other side of Brian, and Howie nodded his head slightly.  They let him go and watched him nearly run out of the room.  

With a sigh, Nick turned to look at the damage Brian and AJ had done to Kevin, realizing there was no way he could drive home with his eye swollen like that.  Turning to Howie, he asked, “Should one of us drive him home?”

Howie shrugged.  “You can.  I won’t.”

Nick said harshly, “I’m never doing a damn thing for this fucker ever again.”

Kevin in the mean time, lay on the floor, eyes closed, wishing desperately to disappear permanently just the way AJ wanted him too.  When something hit his chest, he opened partially swelled eyes to see that it was his cell phone.

“Call your wife, Kevin, and have her get over here before Brian goes after you again.  We won’t pull him off you next time.”  Nick said coldly, before turning and walking out of the room, Howie following close behind.

~   ~&~   ~   ~&~   ~   ~&~   ~

When AJ and Marshall reached Marshall’s car, the blond rapper guided AJ around to the passenger side.  “We’ll send someone for your car later.  I don’t want you driving.”  He commented as AJ glanced worriedly at his car.

AJ turned back to Marshall and said, “Thanks, for coming.”

Marshall smiled warmly at him.  “Like I’d be anywhere else when you needed me.”

AJ reached out and wrapped his arms around Marshall, needing the comfort of holding him and being held by him.  Marshall didn’t hesitate to return the hug, needing it nearly as much as the other man right then.

Brian reached the front door in time to see the smile Marshall shot AJ and to see them pull each other into a hug.  For the first time he stopped to look at Marshall.  Really look.  The expression on his face as he held AJ told Brian in no uncertain terms how deep Marshall’s feelings for the other man ran.  

Brian thought back and realized that same tender, caring expression had been there every time he was around AJ.  As hard as it was for Brian to accept, he couldn’t deny it any longer.  They were good together.  Marshall had saved AJ from Kevin, and he’d obviously helped him recover from it.  Yes, AJ still had a lot of anger inside, and Brian guessed monumental amounts of hurt too, but Brian also knew the only times AJ truly seemed happy anymore were when he was with the rapper.  And Marshall, for all his faults, treated AJ well from what Brian could see.  

He couldn’t believe how blind he’d been.  He’d dismissed the obvious ‘bad guy’ that Marshall came across as most of the time as someone unworthy of AJ, and the seemingly ‘good guy’ that Kevin came across as before today as someone preferable for AJ to be with, even with a wife in tow.  He had been so wrong.  So completely and utterly wrong.

As the hug broke apart, Brian hurried forward, walking out to the car.  “Aje?”

AJ stiffened and turned away from Marshall toward Brian.  “Yeah?”

Brian took another couple tentative steps toward his friend, coming around the front of the car.  His voice cracked as he said, “My God, Aje, I’m so, so sorry.  If I had known…”

“I know, Rok.  It’s…”  AJ swallowed.  He’d been about to say it was okay, but it wasn’t.  Not really.  He felt betrayed, and irrational as it was, he needed to work through that first.  Then maybe, it could be okay eventually.  “It’ll be all right.  I just…I have to get out of here now, okay?”

Brian nodded vigorously.  “Okay.  Anything you want.  I…I’ll wait for your call.  I mean, if you want, I’ll call you, but if you don’t, I’ll just wait until you’re ready to talk.”

AJ let Marshall open the door for him as he answered.  “I’ll call you in a couple days.”  At Brian’s worried look, he added, “I promise.”

Brian nodded, and watched as AJ climbed in the car and shut the door.  He backed up a few steps as Marshall passed him on his way to the driver’s side of the car.  When Marshall was about to open his door, Brian spoke up again.  “Marshall.”

Marshall turned cold eyes on him and snapped.  “What?”

“You…you’ll take care of him right?”

Marshall stiffened.  “I have until this point haven’t I?”

Brian nodded.  “Yeah, you have.”  He hesitated, then added, “Thank you.”

Marshall paused, caught off guard by that.  With a slight nod of acknowledgement, he opened his door and climbed inside, turning the car on and pulling out of the driveway.  
Brian didn’t move a muscle until the car was out of sight.  Sad and torn up inside over what AJ had been going through right under his nose the past few months, he turned back to the house and headed inside.  He had a lot to make up for, and he had no idea how.



Chapter Forty-Two
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