After Marshall got back with a soda from the kitchen that he'd forgotten to get before he called, he settled back in on the bed and picked the phone back up.

"Back. So, how did today go?" He asked, getting right to the point.

"Ok, I guess." AJ said, walking into his own bedroom and plopping down on the bed to get comfortable. Their conversations usually lasted upwards of an hour or more, so he figured he should get comfortable.

Marshall picked up on the resigned tone of AJ's voice and was immediately put on the alert. "Asshole didn't try anything did he? I mean, he didn't fucking approach you or try to talk to you and shit, did he?"

AJ picked up on the suddenly hard edge in Marshall's voice and briefly wondered what exactly Marshall would do to Kevin if he had. "No, nothing like that. We didn't even say one word to each other today and he stayed away from me."

"Then what's wrong? Just…having to see him?" Marshall asked, his eyes drawn to the TV as a shot of AJ flashed by.

AJ rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. "That, and the fact that all the guys know I fell off the wagon. Hell, Brian was just here asking for an explanation."

"So tell him." Marshall said matter-of-factly.

"I can't." AJ replied.

"Why are you protecting that worthless piece of shit?" Marshall asked, unable to hide the irritation in his voice.

AJ closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "I honestly have no idea."

"You shouldn't, protect him I mean. The cunt made his own bed, now he needs to lay his ass down in it." Marshall said sharply.

AJ tensed on the bed, frowning into the phone and blurting, "Why does it bother you so much?"

Marshall stiffened, not sure how to answer, not knowing if he even had an answer anyway. "Just, well, fuck. You know it happened to me. I didn't tell anyone. I had to see that motherfucker every damn day knowing what he did to me and having to act like everything was all right. I don't want to see you go through that. I …care about you."

After Marshall's confession, there was dead silence on the line for a full minute. If AJ's stomach hadn't been doing flip-flops and his breathing hadn't suddenly caught in his throat, it would have occurred to him that Marshall had Kylie Minogue's song "Outta My Head" playing in the background. A fact that under normal circumstances would have shocked the hell out of him, but right then, it hardly even phased him.

Marshall sat on the bed staring at the TV but not really seeing it as he fidgeted and waited for AJ to say something. When the silence stretched out even longer, he cleared his throat, intending on saying something, anything, but AJ did it for him.

"You do?" AJ finally managed to ask.

Marshall swallowed, realizing how it sounded. The problem was, he wasn't at all sure he hadn't meant it the way it sounded. It didn't matter though. What they'd done together had just been a one time thing. They were friends, nothing more.

"Yeah, of course I do. I know we haven't been friends a real long time or anything, but I care."

AJ closed his eyes briefly trying to ignore the wave of disappointment that washed through him. He'd been hoping Marshall meant something more. Still, Marshall didn't normally make himself as vulnerable as he just had and he figured that had to mean something.

"I do too, care about you I mean." AJ admitted, hoping Marshall wouldn't read too much into it, hoping he wouldn't pick up on just how AJ meant that.

Another awkward silence followed, during which AJ picked up on the background music as a new song floated through the line. Sitting straight up on the bed, he asked, "Marshall, uh, is that…Moby?"

Marshall scowled as he focused in on the TV. Mother of fuck, it was. How was he going to get out of this one without admitting what he was doing?

"Yeah, I was uh, just watching TV and it came on." Marshall said, hoping AJ would let it drop.

"What channel?" AJ asked.

"What?" Marshall asked, stalling.

"What channel? MTV, M2, MuchMusic? I like that video. Actually, it's a certain part toward the end of it I like, but still. What channel?" AJ asked, already grabbing his remote and turning the TV in the bedroom on as he lay back down on his stomach facing it.

"Uh, not sure?" Marshall said, wincing at how unconvincing of a liar he suddenly seemed to be.

AJ started flipping through channels, not picking up on the false note to Marshall's voice right away as he searched intently for the video. "Not sure? How…"

AJ's voice trailed off as he hit on the channel. VH1? Marshall was watching VH1? What the fuck? Then he noticed the little caption in the lower right corner that said, 'Top 18 Countdown.' Wasn't it usually the top twenty countdown?

"Uh, VH1 dude?" AJ asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"I was just flipping channels damnit," Marshall tried to explain irritably.

AJ laughed. "And you thought you'd stop on Moby? Sure."

Marshall scowled. "You know I don't actually hate him right? I mean, yeah, I stuck him in a song, but that was just because he said I had gay issues."

AJ laughed harder. "Marshall, you do have gay issues. Do I need to go back through every song of yours and count how many times you refer to guys sucking your dick or little comments you make about ass fucking?"

"Shut the fuck up. I don't get into guys." Marshall all but growled into the phone.

AJ sobered up, that comment bothering him for some reason. Quietly he said, "You got into me."

Marshall's eyes shut involuntarily and he had to bite back a moan as the implications of that statement got him suddenly hornier than hell. As the statement replayed in his brain though, he realized there's been a hint of hurt in AJ's voice.

Forcing his eyes open, he stared at the screen and said, "I know. I just…I don't like guys that way in general. Just…you."

AJ's stomach did a somersault. Just him? In the present tense?

"Damn." He blurted before he could stop himself.

Marshall closed his eyes again, groaning inwardly. Now he'd done it. It was kind of obvious from what he'd just said that he still had a thing for him. If it wasn't, he would sure as hell figure it out in a minute when the video was done and it went back to the show and he realized exactly why he had it on VH1 in the first place.

"Uh, listen. Can we just pretend that part of the conversation didn't happen?" Marshall asked, not ready to discuss what he was beginning to realize he felt for the other man.

AJ didn't want to forget it. He wanted to know what it all meant. He wanted desperately to ask Marshall if he had feelings for him, that way. But he could sense the underlying tone of desperation in Marshall's voice and couldn't bring himself to push it.

"Yeah, sure. But we're going to talk about it at some point, right?"

Marshall swallowed. "Sure, sometime. Just not…now, ok?"

"Yeah, ok."

They both watched the video as it got closer to the end. AJ's earlier comment popped into Marshall's head. "So, what part at the end is it that you like so damn much?"

AJ chuckled. "You don't wanna know, man."

"Yeah I do. Wouldn't have asked otherwise." Marshall commented.

AJ shook his head as it got closer to the scene he watched the whole video for. "Ok, remember, I warned you."

"Yeah, what the fuck ever, just tell me."

AJ waited a heartbeat as JC Chasez's part went by. "Damn that smirk is cute." He mumbled aloud.

Marshall tensed as he realized AJ was talking about the Nsync member. "You watch this video for him?"

AJ chuckled. "Uh, no. For this next part, right…now. Shit, that's just…damn nice."

Marshall watched the TV as Corey Feldman came on and licked his cell phone from the bottom to the top as if he was licking a cock, his tongue curling as he pulled the phone away. Involuntarily Marshall's cock twitched in his pants. Not because of the man on the TV though, but because he was picturing AJ's tongue doing that to him.

Before he could stop himself, he commented in a husky voice, "His tongue's got nothing on yours."

He heard AJ suck in a sharp breath on the other end of the phone and Marshall cursed under his breath, wishing he could kick his own ass for saying that. Before he could say anything to divert the conversation to a safe subject, the video cut away and the host of the charity golf countdown came back on.

AJ had gotten instantly hard when Marshall made that comment about his tongue, but when the video cut away, his brows knit in confusion for a second, then arched in surprise as realization hit him finally about why Marshall had it on this channel. It was the Fairway to Heaven charity golf tournament he and Brian had done together earlier in the year. His mouth formed into a soft oh.

He must have said it out loud because Marshall cleared his throat and said, "There uh, was nothing else on. I was just…bored. That's all."

AJ wasn't sure if he believed him or not, but let it drop. If he was going to get into a discussion about 'them' he wasn't going to do it on a phone hundreds of miles away from him.

"Yeah, TV sucks at night sometimes." AJ said lamely as the next video started.

They both sat in silence for a minute, until the song started getting to Marshall. He wasn't even sure what it was because he'd missed the little intro thing.

"Fuck, please tell me I'm not the only one who can't stand this song, whatever the hell it is."

AJ chuckled at the tortured tone of Marshall's voice. "Yeah, it's not one of my favorites."

Marshall snorted. "You know, sometimes you're too nice about shit. Just say it. Say the song fucking sucks ass if it's the way you feel."

AJ laughed at Marshall's bluntness. "I'm not like you. I've been having to edit myself for years because our fans were so young when we started. Hell, some of them still are."

"Come on, just say it. You know you want to." Marshall said, his voice dropping a notch.

AJ choked back a moan at the seductive note in Marshall's voice. He shifted on the bed a little as his trapped dick suddenly swelled more.

"Why?" He asked, wanting to see what Marshall would do next, wondering briefly if he was just imagining things, or if the other man was actually flirting with him.

"Because I want to hear the words come out of your mouth. I want to hear you…unedited." Marshall said, using the same low seductive voice.

He wasn't sure why he was doing that, but he didn't want to stop. It didn't sound like AJ wanted him to stop either.

Dropping his raspy voice a notch, AJ said, "The song sucks some major fucking ass."

Marshall shivered, suddenly realizing why he'd wanted him to say it. AJ swearing, or more accurately, AJ saying suck and fuck and ass was like a caress on his skin.

"Shit." Marshall mumbled.

AJ hardened more, recognizing the turned on tone of Marshall's voice. Briefly he wondered if they were on the verge of phone sex. His hard-on trapped between him and the bed was screaming yes.

Before AJ could say anything else, the video cut away and an interview VH1 had done with him and Brian came on. AJ groaned as he watched himself talk about his dirty shoes.

"Oh God. I'm such a fucking dork. I swear, I don't know why I have fans."

Marshall watched as AJ talked to the camera. Marshall smiled a little. He missed him. God he fucking missed him. He'd been talking to him every night on the phone, but it wasn't the same as seeing him.

Still staring at AJ talking on the TV, he said into the phone, "They're your fans because you're funny and sexy as shit and you've got a cute smile and you're a big softy under the tough guy act."

AJ's heart stopped. He hadn't been fishing for a compliment when he's said that, but shit, had he gotten one.

"Damn, thanks."

Marshall wasn't sure why he'd said all that, but he was glad he had because of the wonder in AJ's voice as he'd thanked him. He hadn't really realized just how many insecurities AJ had before, but if the way AJ had just talked about himself was any indication, he probably as many as he himself did, and that was a lot.

"It's the truth." He stated. After a short pause, Marshall added, "You know, that guy Byron or whatever his name is, checked out your ass twice while you were talking."

AJ laughed so hard he had to turn on his side and curl up because his stomach hurt. "Oh shit, that's funny shit."

Marshall smiled into the phone, his brief minute of jealousy over Brian checking AJ out forgotten. He loved the way AJ laughed. "What?"

AJ wiped at his eyes which were tearing up. Trying to get his breathing under control, he said, "First his name's Brian, not Byron, and second, man if you knew Brian. He's as straight as they come."

"He flirts with you. I've seen it. And isn't he the one who has a weird habit of picking you up all the time? Seems I've gotten a few pictures of that in the mail." Marshall argued.

AJ laughed again. "I'm a flirt. It's what I do. I flirt with everyone. Brian's just…affectionate. He doesn't mean anything by it, trust me. He's just a touchy, feely person. He picks me up a lot because even though he's shorter than me, I weigh less than him. He thinks that's hilarious."

Marshall was only partly convinced. "What about him checking you out?"

AJ shook his head, smiling at the hint of jealousy in Marshall's voice. The conversation was turning out to be very informative. Where before he'd thought Marshall just thought of him as a friend since their one night together, now he was finding out Marshall wanted a little more than just friendship from him, even if the man didn't realize it himself yet.

Answering Marshall's question, AJ said, "No man, he wasn't checking me out. I fell in the grass on my ass minutes before the interview, being the klutz that I am. He was probably just looking to make sure there wasn't any grass still sticking to me. He gets bored by interviews and his attention wanders."

"Oh." Marshall said, trying to hide the relief in his voice.

He told himself it shouldn't make a difference to him, but it did. He didn't know why, but he didn't want AJ to have anything going with Brian. Just then he watched AJ pull Alice Cooper in for a half hug in congratulations after the older man apparently won something.

"So, you know Alice Cooper, or do you just have a strange habit of walking up to people you know by name only and hugging them?" Marshall teased, referring to the night AJ had done that to him to get him to meet him in the bathroom.

AJ chuckled. "No, I don't just go around hugging random guys. Alice is a friend. He's been sober like, twenty years. He's sort of like a mentor of mine. We did the Bob Hope Charity Golf thing together recently. I call him when shit starts getting to me sometimes."

"Huh. Wouldn't have pictured him being friends with a guy from a boyband."

"Hey, I resemble that remark, besides, you are. What could possibly be more shocking than that?"

Marshall laughed and shook his head. "No idea. Oh wait. Finding out Britney Spears boobs really are real. That would be a bigger shock."

AJ cracked up again.

A while later they were still talking, the conversation going on two hours by that time, and not looking like it was ending anytime soon. A couple more segments that AJ and Brian were in came and went, one where Brian was sarcastic and pissed when his shot didn't line up the way he wanted, and another where AJ broke into a chorus of 'Halleluiah', closely followed by Brian who harmonized.

As a song by the Goo Goo Dolls finished and AJ realized what segment was coming on next, he groaned. "Oh no, not this one. I topped my usual dorkiness with this one."

Marshall laughed. "What'd you do?"

AJ shook his head, covering his face with his hand. "Just watch."

Marshall watched as the camera cut from a shot of Brian golfing to AJ golfing. When AJ obviously didn't make a good shot, he turned to walk away saying, "Aww shh… Can't say shh… Oh, bleep me out. Sh…" And then he was cut off by a beep.

Marshall got a silly grin on his face. He wished AJ was there right then so he could kiss him. "Shit. That was cute."

AJ's eyes widened in surprise, his hand falling from his face. "Excuse me? Cute? I'm a fucking dumbass."

Marshall laughed. "No you're not. You're cute. That was so damn cute. If you were here I'd…" He trailed off, realizing too late what he almost said.

AJ's voice dropped a notch. "If I was there, you'd what?"

Marshall swallowed. He knew he should just make something up, some lame thing he'd do to him, but he couldn't stop himself from blurting, "I'd kiss you."

There it was. What he'd been wanting to hear. Marshall did still want him.

"Fuck." AJ said, his cock jumping to full attention.

The desire in AJ's voice made Marshall harden in response. "What's going on with us?" He asked, needing to know, but afraid of the answer all the same.

AJ swallowed. "Fuck if I know. One minute I think we're just friends, the next we're on a date, then we're fucking, then we're friends again, and now…"

"And now what?" Marshall prompted when AJ trailed off.

"And now I want to be there with you so you can kiss me, but since I can't, I fucking wanna have phone sex with you." AJ blurted before he could loose his nerve.

His admission was met with dead silence.


Chapter Twenty-One
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