Marshall found AJ exactly where he'd expected him. On the back patio overlooking the pool in just his boxers, sitting on a patio chair with his feet up on the patio table, a cigarette in his hand. Marshall figured he'd gotten the boxers off the kitchen floor when he'd grabbed his cigarettes. He hesitated for a second, then stepped outside and sat down next to him.

Neither of them spoke for a couple minutes, AJ's slow drags on his cigarette the only sound breaking the silence. AJ wouldn't even look at him suddenly and Marshall got a sinking feeling they'd just fucked up their friendship when they'd fucked.

Finally the silence got to Marshall and he asked, "What's going on here?"

AJ didn't look at him still, and didn't answer at first, instead taking another drag off his cigarette. He didn't know how to answer that. He knew what he wanted to say, but knew it was nothing the other man wanted to hear, so he shoved a wall up and said flatly, "You satisfied your curiosity."

Marshall stiffened and studied AJ's profile. "That's what you think this was?"

AJ finally looked over at him and Marshall saw something there he hadn't seen since the night their unlikely friendship had started with them in that bathroom…a wall, meant to protect himself.

"Wasn't it?" AJ challenged.

"No." Marshall stated simply.

That shut AJ up for a minute and he stared at Marshall, something akin to hope flashing in his eyes before he covered it up and looked away. "Yeah, well, whatever."

Marshall suddenly stood angrily. "What the fuck is your problem? Five minutes ago everything was fine, now you're acting like an ass."

AJ stared off into the dark, swallowing the lump forming in his throat. "I don't have a problem, everything's fine."

They both knew AJ was lying, which just made Marshall angrier. He grabbed AJ by the arms and hauled him to his feet. "Look at me."

AJ didn't pull back, allowing Marshall to stand there with his fingers digging into his arms, but he didn't look at him either.

"Damnit, look at me. I deserve that fucking much."

AJ felt a twinge of guilt then. He didn't want to hurt Marshall, but he was afraid to look at him, afraid Marshall would see what he was trying desperately to keep from him, so he just stood there staring off at the pool.

Marshall waited a moment longer then let go of him, stepping back. "Fine. Don't. I don't give a fuck anyway. I just don't like being lied to. You haven't lied to me since the night we met…until now."

AJ stood there stiffly as Marshall talked. After he was done, AJ listened as he sighed and turned and walked back into the house. After the glass door was shut, AJ sat back down, stubbed out the butt of his cigarette and reached for his pack to light another one. He was about halfway through it when he started berating himself for the way he'd just acted. He'd hurt Marshall's feelings. He'd heard it in his voice.

Closing his eyes, he slumped back in his chair, his cigarette dangling from his fingers. What the fuck should he do now? He wondered, even though he already knew the answer to that. Standing, he stubbed out his cigarette and turned, heading back inside.

The house was quiet when he walked back in. He crossed to the kitchen to see if Marshall was there, but he wasn't. Turning back around, he headed toward the bedroom, figuring he must be there.

Marshall was in bed, laying on his side, covered to the waist with a blanket, staring at the wall when he heard soft footsteps coming down the hall. He stiffened, waiting to see what room AJ would go in.

AJ walked up to the doorway and stood there for a minute, studying Marshall's silhouette, illuminated by the moonlight streaming in the window in the dark. His back was to him, but he knew he was awake by the stiff set of his muscles across his back.

"I'm sorry."

Marshall waited a heartbeat, then turned toward the door, sitting up at the same time. "Care to give me an explanation?"

AJ hesitated. "Not especially." In spite of saying that though, he went on to explain, "I just…I do stupid shit sometimes, for reasons I don't even fully understand.

Marshall studied his face in the semi-darkness of the room. He could tell AJ was being honest that time, but he could also tell there was more to it than that. He didn't press him though. If he didn't want to talk about it, that was his business, just as long as he wasn't lying to him anymore or acting like an ass.

Pulling back the covers on the empty side of the bed, he said, "Come back to bed then."

AJ hesitated. "You sure? I can go sleep in the guest room…"

Marshall rolled his eyes and said, "Just shut up and get over here, will you? Fuck. You're worse than a woman sometimes."

AJ couldn't help but crack a grin as he started across the room. He knew Marshall was purposely trying to change the subject and lighten the mood, and he was grateful he wasn't going to press him about what was wrong. "I've been told that before, you know. Just wait 'til I drag your ass to a shopping mall some time."

Marshall snorted, averting his eyes as AJ dropped his boxers and climbed into bed next to him. "Yeah, over my dead fucking body."

AJ chuckled. "Oh, I'll get you there. I've also been told I can be a persistent little fucker when I want something."

Marshall turned his back to him and tried to ignore the warmth that spread through him when AJ snuggled up and spooned him from behind. "Yeah, sure, what-the-fuck-ever. Shut up and go to sleep."

AJ leaned over him and kissed his cheek, murmuring a soft, "Goodnight, baby," before settling back in behind him.

He lay there for a few minutes smiling at the back of Marshall's head, his arm tightening around him, glad he'd come back to apologize instead of doing what he'd thought about and getting his stuff and leaving. Slowly his eyes fluttered shut, and moments later they were both asleep, smiles on their faces.

The next morning, Marshall woke first and turned around in AJ's arms to watch him sleep. He felt…strange. He wasn't sure how to feel about last night. He didn't regret it, he knew that, he just didn't know what was going to happen next. He didn't even have a clue what he wanted to happen next.

AJ woke slowly to the feeling of someone staring at him. Slowly he forced his eyelids open and found himself staring into a pair of blue eyes…troubled blue eyes. His heart sank as he misinterpreted the look as Marshall regretting what had happened between them.

He'd known this would happen. He was pathetic for hoping he'd be wrong. He should have stuck with his first instinct last night and ran fast and far. Now he had to deal with awkward morning after bullshit he didn't have the stomach for, not when his emotions were in turmoil.

Marshall watched as sadness flashed through AJ's eyes before he quickly turned away, onto his back, and stared up at the ceiling. His stomach sank as he also misinterpreted the look. He regretted what had happened. That hurt. Marshall turned onto his back too and stared up at the ceiling.

The moments of silence stretched out between them, until finally AJ couldn't stand it anymore. "Well, this is awkward as shit."

Marshall chuckled humorlessly. "Yeah, slightly."

After a few more minutes of silence, AJ sat up and reached over the side of the bed for his boxers. Turning away from Marshall, he pushed back the sheets and pulled them on before standing.

Turning back to the bed, he said, "I'm ah, going to go take a shower."

Marshall glanced over at him and nodded. He wanted to ask him to come back to bed, but didn't want to take the chance he'd say no, so he just lay there in silence while AJ turned and walked out of the room.

AJ walked slowly away, wishing Marshall would call him back, but he didn't, and AJ didn't have the guts to ask. He was sure Marshall was regretting what had happened and didn't want to deal with being rejected on top of everything.

Forty-five minutes later, AJ took a deep breath and emerged from the bathroom, having stalled in every way possible. He'd even re-sculpted his goatee just for the hell of it. Walking back to the guest room, he grabbed the bag he'd packed the day before and brought over and headed out toward the kitchen.

Marshall was bent over, digging through a cabinet for some cereal when AJ stepped through the doorway. He had to bite his lip to keep from moaning out loud and avert his eyes when he caught sight of the other man's sweatpants clad ass sticking out at him.

Marshall found what he was looking for a second later and pulled it out of the cabinet and straightened. When he turned toward the refrigerator for milk, he stopped short, seeing AJ in the doorway, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder.

"Leaving?" Marshall asked, trying to keep his tone casual.

AJ looked away uncomfortably. "Uh, yeah. I think it's about time. I can't hide out here forever."

"Yeah, I guess not." Marshall said, wanting to ask him to stay, but not wanting to hear him turn him down.

AJ shifted from one foot to the other. "About last night…"

Marshall interrupted him, needing to be the one to say it before the other man did. His pride demanded it, even if he wasn't so sure it was what he wanted. "Last night was last night. It was great, but…"

When Marshall trailed off, AJ turned back and nodded. "Yeah, it was great. But it was just one night, right? Just two friends sharing something…great." He finished lamely, not knowing what else to say.

Marshall nodded in return. "Yeah. And we are still friends, right? What happened isn't going to fuck that up, is it?"

AJ shook his head. "No, man. It's not. I…I don't want that to happen. You know?"

Marshall looked away, uncomfortable with the tense moment, but his eyes inadvertently fell on the part of the wall he'd fucked AJ up against last night. He had to fight to keep himself from hardening at the memory.

Looking back at AJ he said, "Yeah, I know."

After another awkward moment, AJ sighed and headed for the door. He stopped in his tracks with his hand on the knob when Marshall spoke behind him.

"Alex…"

AJ turned and looked at him, hoping foolishly he'd tell him he wanted him to stay. "Yeah?"

Marshall opened his mouth and shut it, then opened it again before finally saying, "I, uh, I'm not going to be back in LA for a while when I leave tomorrow. I have some…stuff, you know, business shit going on the next few weeks in Detroit."

"Oh, ok. Guess I'll see ya whenever then. I've got group shit coming up in a week or so and I'm not going to be around either anyway." He didn't add, 'If I decide to go,' but for both men it was understood. AJ still had no idea if he was going to be able to face Kevin so soon or not, and Marshall knew that.

Marshall nodded and AJ turned to go. Marshall watched him walk out and stood there for a moment longer before loosing his inner battle and grabbing a paper and pen, then following him out the door. AJ was already in his car with it started and had turned in the seat to back out of Marshall's driveway when Marshall stepped outside. Hurrying over, he knocked on AJ's window and waited while AJ turned back, surprise written all over his face.

Pressing the button to his power window, he waited for it to roll down, then said, "Yeah?"

Marshall leaned up and set the pad of paper on the roof of AJ's car and wrote a couple numbers on it. Tearing the paper off the pad, he handed it to AJ and said, "My number in Detroit, and my cell. In case you need to talk, since you're going to have to see…him."

AJ blinked back a suspicious moisture at the corners of his eyes as he looked at the paper. He'd been afraid Marshall's declaration that he still wanted to be friends a moment ago had been him blowing sunshine up his ass. He should have known better. Marshall didn't say shit just to placate people.

Quietly, AJ managed to say, "Thanks."

Marshall nodded, wanting to lean down and kiss him. He didn't though, instead stepping back from the car and saying, "Use those numbers…anytime, night or day. Okay?"

AJ nodded. "Okay." After a short pause he said, "Bye."

"Bye," Marshall said back, and then AJ was pulling out of his driveway.

Marshall watched as he disappeared from sight, then headed back in his house. His suddenly very empty house.

AJ felt numb as he walked into his house, closing and locking the door behind him. Not even his still present fear of Kevin was rearing its ugly head as he set down his bag and headed toward the refrigerator for something to drink.

He grabbed a soda out and leaned back against his counter, opening it. He hadn't expected this to happen. He really hadn't known what to expect. He could kick himself for that. He'd been so focused on the fact that he wanted to feel what it'd be like to be with Marshall that he hadn't stopped to consider the consequences. Sure, he'd made them wait a day to make sure Marshall was sure he wanted to, but he hadn't stopped once to think about what the morning after would be like, and what it might do to their friendship. Now he wished to hell that he had.

Glancing at the blinking light on his answering machine, he sighed and walked over to it, hitting play. He stood in the middle of the room sipping his soda and listening as messages from giggling girls, his mom, and his cousin played back.

The next call took him by surprise. It was Brian. Sure, they were close, but Brian rarely called him when they were on a break. He was usually too involved with Leigh to even notice the outside world existed.

"Hey Aje, guess I missed you. Listen, sorry to bug you, but I can't seem to track down Nick and I'm worried about Kevin. He's not answering his phone or his emails, and I haven't heard from him for days, almost a week actually. I was wondering if maybe you could check on him or something? Oh well, when you get this get back to me, ok? It's not like Kevin to be out of touch for this long. Aunt Ann is worried about him too. Talk to you later I guess, bye."

AJ stood frozen to the spot as the message ended and the machine clicked off, signaling the end of the messages. Kevin. Brian wanted him to go check on Kevin. Of course, Brian had no clue what had happened, and he had tried to call Nick first…but fuck. There was no way he was going anywhere near Kevin until he absolutely had to.

He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to just ignore Brian's request, because that would raise suspicion, but he couldn't go over there. He just…couldn't. Just then the phone rang. He hurried over and picked it up, saying hello.

"Yo, Bone. How'd the date go?"

AJ smiled with relief. Ignoring the question, he said, "Nick, man, Brian's been trying to get a hold of you."

"Yeah? Why?"

"Kevin's disappeared off the map. He wants someone to check on him."

"Why didn't he ask you when he couldn't get me?" Nick asked, confused.

AJ swallowed. "He uh, did. I just got the message, but Kevin and I had a…fight the other night and I don't want to see him yet. Could you handle it?"

"Sure, no problem. I'm in the car over his way anyway. Spent the night at Beth's last night. That's probably why Brian couldn't find me."

"Cool, man, thanks."

"Well?" Nick prompted after a short pause.

"Well what?" AJ asked, having no clue what Nick was getting at.

Nick chuckled into the phone. "And they call me the blond one. The date. How'd it go?"

"Oh. Good. It went good. I uh, didn't get back from there until today in fact."

"Whoa. You and Marshall…"

AJ closed his eyes, not knowing what had possessed him to tell him that. "Yeah."

"Damn. So is it…are you guys like…involved?" Nick asked.

AJ shook his head. "To be honest, Nick, I have no idea what he and I are. It's…complicated."

Nick snorted. "Uh, yeah. And that surprises you?"

"What do you mean?"

"AJ, damn. I mean, you're talking about Marshall Mathers here. Eminem. He's not exactly known as an easy person to know. Complications follow him around like girls follow us."

AJ slumped into a kitchen chair. "Yeah, well, whatever. I'm not even going to see him for who knows how long anyway, so it doesn't matter much I guess."

"AJ, do you want me to come over? You don't sound so good."

AJ shook his head, then realized Nick couldn't see that through the phone. "No. I'm fine. Just…tired."

"Are you sure? After what you told me the other day about drinking again…"

AJ interrupted. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'm not going to do that again. Just go make sure Kevin's all right for Brian, will ya? I'll talk to you later."

Nick hesitated for a second then said, "Sure. Later. Bye Bone."

"Bye Kaos."

After AJ hung up, he sat at the table for a long time, just staring at nothing. Just a few short weeks ago his biggest worry had been the media following him around trying to catch him falling off the wagon, and Kevin turning up everywhere he went. Now his problems included having actually fallen off the wagon, a publicly homophobic rapper friend that he'd gotten fucked by the night before and an ex-boyfriend who'd tried to rape him and he'd have to face in a week, ready or not.

Sighing, he stood, stripping as he headed out back toward his pool, deciding a swim was what he needed to clear his head. Just before he dove in, naked as the day he was born, he thought to himself that the word 'complicated' didn't even begin to cover what his life had suddenly turned into.


Chapter Nineteen
COMPLICATE ME Contents