An hour later, Marshall pulled up outside of a building and cut the engine. AJ stared at where they were for a second before turning to Marshall and staring at him like he'd grown another head.

"You're kidding right?" He asked, sure it had to be a joke, even though he wasn't getting the punch line.

"No."

AJ studied his face for a minute, expecting him to crack a grin any second. He didn't. "You're serious?"

Marshall nodded. "Very."

AJ looked back at the building that housed his AA meetings, then looked back at Marshall again. "You told me you don't believe in this stuff."

Marshall shrugged. "You said it helps you. What I believe doesn't matter."

AJ was touched that Marshall had set aside his skepticism to help him out that way. "Are you going to stay out here or come in?"

Marshall didn't answer for a second, not really sure what he wanted to do. He'd been debating that all the way over. "What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know." AJ answered truthfully.

Marshall glanced down at his watch. "The meeting starts in a couple minutes. We're late because of the pool thing. You need to decide."

Instead of giving him an answer, AJ asked, "How'd you know where it was?"

"Called Nick and got your sponsor's name. Your sponsor gave me this address."

"Oh." AJ said, smiling as he imagined the freaked out expression on Nick's face when he answered his phone and realized who it was.

"Well?" Marshall prompted.

AJ took a deep breath and looked back at the building as he ran a hand through his still-damp hair from his shower. He was shaky as hell, still fighting the cravings that had led to his temporary fall off the wagon.

Turning back to Marshall, he asked impulsively, "Come in with me. Please?"

Marshall grinned at the hopeful expression on AJ's face and surprised the both of them with his answer. "Sure."

As they neared the entrance, Marshall's nerves took over and he couldn't help but ask, "Your sponsor said it would be made up mostly of industry people and that anything a person said here would stay here. That true?"

AJ glanced at him curiously as they reached the door and he opened it. Stepping through after Marshall, he asked, "Yeah. Why?"

Marshall shrugged. "Just wondering. I mean, someone could say some shit in here and someone else could run to the tabloids with it, you know?"

AJ shook his head. "Pretty much everyone here has something to loose if their secrets got out. I've spilled lots of stuff here and not one piece of it has ever gotten out. They all even know about my relationship with Kevin."

"Oh."

AJ opened his mouth to say something else, but just then they stepped through the doorway of the room the meeting was in and discovered it was already starting. Quietly, they found seats and sat there for a while, listening to people tell their stories from the beginning and other people just share what had been giving them difficulties as of late.

When the person running the meeting asked if there was anyone else who wanted to talk, AJ stood and cleared his throat. "Well, most of you know me since I'm here a lot, but I'm going to start with my name today because something's changed. Hi, I'm AJ and I'm an Alcoholic. I've been sober for about an hour. I had been sober for almost a year, but something happened to me the other night and I fell off the wagon because of it. A good friend," AJ paused to smile down at Marshall, then continued, "Stuck by me though and because of that I realized I was making a bad situation worse, and well, here I am."

AJ started to sit, but someone from the other side of the room asked, "Do you want to talk about whatever happened?"

AJ paused and looked at the owner of the voice and shook his head. "Not really."

The others nodded, knowing he would have to talk about it in his own time.

Marshall watched as he sat. He'd seen the flash of shame in AJ's eyes when the person had asked if he wanted to talk about it. Marshall had been struggling with whether to do what he'd thought about doing or not, but now, knowing that AJ was still blaming himself in part for what happened with Kevin, he made up his mind.

Looking around, he nervously started to stand, his stomach flip-flopping, hoping he wasn't about to make a big mistake. AJ looked over at him questioningly, but Marshall just shot him a nervous smile and turned back to the others.

"Hi. My name's Marshall. I'm a drug addict. I never went through an AA program, never been to a meeting before tonight actually. I don't believe much in this stuff, but a friend of mine swears by it, so here I am. I cleaned myself up on my own. Partly because of my probation I'm on now, but mostly because of my daughter. I didn't want her growing up like I did, with an addict for a parent."

Marshall paused and cleared his throat. "The main reason I started popping pills was because of my mom's husband. He used to knock me around. That wasn't so bad though, well, at least not bad enough to do drugs over."

Marshall paused again, and turned toward AJ. Locking eyes with the younger man, he continued, "Then one night while my mom was out scoring drugs. Me and my step dad got into a fight. I was fourteen. The fight got pretty ugly and…one thing led to another and he raped me. I was ashamed. I felt like it had been my fault somehow. Anyway, that was when I got into my mom's stash of pills. I tried anything and everything to get rid of the pain. And it worked for a while. A long while. It made me forget most of the time, and the times it couldn't quite push the memories out of my head, it made me not give a damn."

Marshall paused, seeing emotions well up in AJ's eyes. Turning back to the other people in the room, He said, "Anyway, I did some stupid shit and got arrested a couple years ago. When I got out on bail, I had to start submitting to random drug testing and that's why I initially dried out. I stay clean though for my daughter."

One last time Marshall paused, turning back to AJ. "Also it's helped a lot that I now realize what my step dad did wasn't my fault. He was a sick, mean asshole who used sex for power and he doesn't deserve the time of day…or my guilt."

Marshall waited a minute, then sat down slowly, still staring at AJ who was staring back just as intently. Marshall vaguely heard the claps of the other people in the room, but he didn't pay any attention, just sat focused on AJ.

After the meeting was over, he and AJ walked back out to the car. The entire ride home was silent. When they got to Marshall's house, AJ followed him in and paused just inside the door.

"So, was that stuff all true?"

Marshall turned to AJ and nodded. "Every last word."

Marshall turned to the refrigerator and grabbed two sodas, tossed one to AJ and headed for the living room. In the living room, Marshall crossed to the sliding glass door and opened it, stepping out into the back yard. AJ followed him silently, questions racing through his mind.

Once they were seated and staring out over the back yard, both avoiding looking at the pool, AJ cleared his throat and asked, "Is that where the lyrics about gay people come from in your songs?"

"Yeah. It's not so bad now," Marshall glanced at the pool, memories from their make-out session in it flooding through him. He looked away and back at AJ, continuing, "Obviously, but I still have a hard time with the whole concept."

"I'm sorry." AJ blurted.

"For?" Marshall asked, taken off guard by that.

"What I said to you in your bedroom the other day. The stuff about you not having any idea, and the…other stuff." AJ said, looking down at his soda and fiddling with it.

Marshall knew he was talking about how he'd thrown the fact that AJ turned him on in his face. Shrugging, he tried to brush it off. "Yeah, well, I'm pretty thick-skinned."

AJ shook his head. "No, I saw the hurt in your eyes. I was just too caught up in my own self-pity to go after you then and apologize."

Marshall shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like that AJ seemed to be able to read him so well.

AJ shifted uncomfortably too, then asked, "Why didn't you tell just me about your step-dad? Why did you do it in front of a room full of people you don't know?"

Marshall shrugged and stared out at the pool. "When you were wasted, I wasn't completely sure you wouldn't throw it back in my face or something like you did the other stuff, and then we were at the meeting and you wouldn't even talk about it because you're ashamed." They both fell silent for a moment, then Marshall shifted his gaze back to AJ and added, "I saw it in your eyes, that you blame yourself for it. I wanted you to know it's not something you need to be ashamed of. It was his fault, not yours."

AJ couldn't believe he'd done that for him. He'd told a room full of strangers something he didn't even stick in his songs just to get the point across that he didn't need to be ashamed of what had happened.

Clearing his throat, AJ decided to admit something that had been nagging at him since he'd remembered it. "I…I remembered what I said to you the other night before I fell asleep."

Marshall knew what he was talking about immediately, and looked away, embarrassed. "Oh."

AJ was slightly surprised to see that. He didn't think much could embarrass the other man. "Yeah, and uh, I just wanted you to know that wasn't just the alcohol talking. I sort of …feel that way. You did get there just in time. Don't know how I would have handled it if Kevin had…" AJ's voice trailed off, shaking slightly as memories flooded back to him.

AJ swallowed and continued, "Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. I realized a few minutes ago that I haven't actually said that yet."

Marshall met AJ's eyes and said, "I'm just glad I was there."

"So am I."

They sat there for a few minutes staring at each other. Suddenly an idea popped in AJ's head and he asked impulsively, "Wanna go out to dinner?"

Marshall couldn't help but smirk. "Are you asking me out? On a date?"

AJ smiled too, recognizing the flirting for what it was. A date hadn't been exactly what he meant, but fuck it. From the look on his face, it didn't look like Marshall was totally opposed to the idea, so he decided to go for it. "Well, uh, yeah. I guess I am."

Marshall studied him for a minute, still smiling. "Well, that's a first."

"Never been asked out by a guy before?" AJ asked.

Marshall shook his head. "No, I have, but it's the first time I haven't wanted to beat the guy into the ground."

AJ laughed for the first time in days. It felt great. "So, is that a yes?"

The smile dropped from Marshall's face. He was shocked to realize he was actually considering it. "Someone could see us."

AJ's face took on a serious expression too. He ignored the knot of anticipation curling in his stomach at the realization that Marshall was actually thinking about it. "Nah. I know a few places where people know how to keep their mouths shut. I've been actively bi for years now. Never gotten caught yet."

Marshall was quiet for a minute as they sat staring into each other's eyes. He didn't know what to do. Part of him wanted to say yes, a big part, but another part was screaming, 'Fuck no!'

Finally he made his decision. "Well, then I guess that's a yes." As the words left his mouth, he felt vaguely like he was falling off a cliff.

AJ's heart skipped a beat. He'd hoped Marshall would say yes, but he hadn't actually expected it. After a second, he recovered and leapt up off the lawn chair.

Marshall watched him and stood too, asking, "Where you going?"

AJ shot him a smile a mile wide. "I've got plans to make. See, there's this sexy guy I'm taking out tonight, and I want everything to be perfect."

With that, he turned on his heel and headed in the house, leaving a blushing, embarrassed, and slightly turned on Marshall in his wake.

An hour later, AJ was standing in front of his mirror in his own house. After he'd left Marshall in the back yard blushing, he'd called Nick and had him come pick him up. Nick had mumbled something about the twilight zone and hung up.

After that AJ had called his favorite restaurant…besides McDonald's, and made reservations for two. He was glad they knew him there or he'd have never gotten in on such short notice. But he knew the owner, so he'd gotten everything he'd asked for, even the after dinner surprise he was going to spring on Marshall.

His stomach did flip-flops again at the thought of what he'd planned. He had no idea if Marshall was going to like everything or not. It wasn't really Marshall's style after all, but AJ figured he might not get another chance like this, so he wanted to go all out.

He still had no idea why he was getting this chance in the first place. It seemed so surreal. Like any moment he'd wake up and realize it had all been a dream. He hoped not, but he was still having a hard time figuring out why Marshall had said yes. Which was why he hadn't set the date up for a couple days later, which would have given him more time to plan out the evening. He wasn't sure if Marshall would have second thoughts and change his mind, and AJ didn't want to take that chance. A voice from the doorway pulled him free from his thoughts.

"Damn, Bone, who's the lucky person?"

AJ turned and smiled at Nick. He'd asked him to stick around while he got ready. Nick had shot him a curious glance, but hadn't questioned it. AJ was glad. He had no desire to go into why he was afraid to be alone in his own house. Even though he'd changed his locks and his security code, he still felt vulnerable to Kevin there.

Pushing the thoughts of Kevin aside, he focused on Nick, relishing the shock that was about to cover the younger man's face with his answer. "Marshall."

Nick had been in the process of taking a drink out of a can of soda he'd grabbed from AJ's refrigerator, and at AJ's answer he spewed it out everywhere and started choking. AJ hurried over and patted him on the back until his coughing fit subsided.

Looking down at AJ, he said in a choked voice, "Excuse me?"

AJ stepped back and turned back toward the mirror, checking himself over one last time. He had on snug black leather pants, a black silk button down shirt, and a deep red leather jacket.

Without looking back at Nick, he said, "You heard me."

Nick shook his head as if trying to clear it. "Yeah, I heard you, I'm just waiting for the punch line."

"There is none. Marshall and I are going out on our first date. I asked him earlier and he said yes."

Nick walked further into AJ's bedroom and sat down on his bed. "Wow."

AJ did a half turn in the mirror and lifted up the back of his jacket and shirt to check out his ass. "Goddamn I hate having no ass."

Nick recovered enough to check out AJ's butt. "You do too have one. It's small, but it's there and it's cute."

AJ turned around and smirked at Nick. "Why Kaos, didn't know you felt that way about me."

"Shut up. I don't." Nick retorted.

AJ laughed. "Stop pouting, I'm just teasing you."

Nick's pout melted into a smile. "I know, just practicing. Gotta keep up appearances you know?"

AJ shook his head at his friend. "Sure, whatever."

Nick watched as AJ walked into the bathroom and put on some cologne, then walked back out. "So, you were serious? You're really going out with Eminem?"

AJ shook his head. "No, I'm going out with Marshall."

Nick snorted. "Like there's a difference."

AJ's face turned serious. "There is. Trust me."

Nick looked at him for a minute, thinking about the conversation he and Marshall had at the party days earlier, and then again on the phone earlier that day. Marshall had really been concerned about AJ.

"Yeah, you're right, I guess there is. So, are you going to tell me why Em…I mean Marshall was so worried about you earlier that he had to track down my cell phone number and get your sponsor's name from me?"

AJ looked away and sat down next to Nick on the bed. "I uh, I fell off the wagon."

"What?" Nick asked in a quiet voice, his stomach sinking.

"Yeah. The last few days I've been in the bottom of a bottle."

"Why?"

"Something happened the night of that party you and I went to together. I don't really want to go into it, but it was bad, and I freaked out."

"Shit. That's why you disappeared and Dre had to come tell me Marshall was taking you home?"

AJ nodded. "Yeah. It's better now though. I'm better now. And it's because of Marshall."

Relief washed over Nick that AJ was sober once again. "Wow. So, you have like…feelings for him huh?"

AJ hesitated for a second, then answered, "Yeah, I think I do. I just don't know what he feels for me."

"Well, I'm no expert on the guy, but I'm guessing he must feel something. I can't picture him as the type of person to accept a date from a guy. But he did from you, so…that's gotta mean something right?"

AJ looked at Nick and a smile spread across his face. "Yeah, I guess it does. Thanks Nick."

Nick shrugged. "That's what I'm here for. To help you with you're relationship issues."

AJ hit him in the shoulder. "Come on. I've gotta get going. Knowing Marshall, he's probably standing in front of the mirror stressing over being in something dressy and wondering why the hell he said yes in the first place."

Marshall was standing in front of his mirror, frowning at his reflection. He felt weird in the clothes he was in. It wasn't his normal thing. He was much more comfortable in oversized, everyday shit. But AJ had said dress up, so he'd dressed up…as much as he could stand to anyway.

He refused to go as far as putting on a suit but he had managed to dig out a nice blue button-down shirt that some random girl he'd dated a while ago had told him brought out his eyes. He'd left the shirt unbuttoned and underneath it was a black beater. Black khaki's rounded out the outfit.

His frown deepened as he stared into his own eyes, trying to figure out what the fuck he'd gotten himself into. He didn't date guys. Guys didn't fucking turn him on…well, besides AJ anyway. He wondered momentarily if he was insane or not. Maybe all the drugs and shit he'd done before he cleaned himself up had destroyed his only sane brain cells…not that there'd been that many of them to begin with. His stomach knotted up and not for the first time he thought about calling AJ and calling it off.

The doorbell rang, pulling Marshall out of his thoughts. He took a deep breath, willing himself to relax and gave himself one final look before heading out to answer it. As he headed down the hall, he contemplated what he was about to do yet again. He was going on a date…with a fucking guy. A gay date with a bisexual man. What did that make him? Bisexual too? Hell fucking no. Guys did not turn him on. He couldn't deny AJ turned him on though, as much as he wanted to.

Fuck. He really shouldn't have said yes. He couldn't back out now though, AJ had looked like he was on cloud nine when Nick had picked him up to take him back to his house to change and get his car, and for some reason that mattered to him. AJ mattered to him. He didn't understand why or how it had happened, but there it was. He had feelings for him. A man. He must be loosing his mind. As he turned the doorknob to open it, he put on a smile, figuring he might as well enjoy his insanity.

When Marshall opened the door, AJ sucked in a sharp breath and looked him up and down. The blue shirt he had on brought out his eyes. Eyes AJ loved. On top of that, the black khaki's and the fact that he had his shirt unbuttoned with a beater underneath made him look sexy as hell.

AJ felt himself stir and swallowed hard before saying, "You look great."

Marshall cleared his throat and licked his lips nervously willing himself to stay put and not run screaming in the other direction. "Uh, thanks."

Getting his urge to bolt under control, he looked AJ up and down the way AJ had just done to him. Fuck. The man was hot. The black leather clung to him in all the right places. Marshall felt himself twitch to life and cursed himself silently. He was getting all hot and bothered and the date hadn't even started. He took a deep breath and reminded himself not to loose control and freak AJ out like he had in the pool.

Lifting his blue eyes to AJ's brown ones, he said, "So do you…look great I mean."

AJ blushed slightly under Marshall's gaze. To his knowledge, Marshall had never checked him out before, and it was turning him on. He had to keep himself in check though. He didn't want to come on too strong.

Clearing his throat, and still unable to quite believe the date was actually about to happen, he said, "Thanks. Ready to go?"

Marshall nodded. "Your car or mine?"

"Mine, since I know where we're going."

Marshall nodded and AJ turned to walk back to his car. Marshall watched him go, getting a good look at his ass in the form-fitting pants. He remembered squeezing that ass in the pool. He had to bite his lip to keep from moaning out loud. Fuck. It was going to be a long evening if he was already having trouble keeping his hormones under control.

Sighing, he followed AJ and climbed in the passenger's seat. As AJ climbed into the car and his cologne drifted over to Marshall, he inhaled deeply, loving the smell of it on him. He had to fight a sudden urge to climb over to AJ's side of the car and nuzzle his face in his neck. Yep, it was definitely going to be a long ass evening…but as he glanced over at AJ's profile as he backed out of the driveway, he couldn't quite find it in himself to be bothered by that.


Chapter Fourteen
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