Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
« November 2006 »
S M T W T F S
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30
Entries by Topic
All topics  «
Mountain's retreat
Tuesday, 7 June 2005

"What kind of FREAKKIng PLACE is this to have so many self imposing rules of torturement??" Hwaorang cried loudly with his face falling down, ignoring Xiao Yu's frantic hand gesture that is motioning him to lower his voice. "I!!..." before he could say anything more, Xiao Yu pounced on him and placed her hand over his mouth. "SHHH!!" she hushed him with her eyes darting left and right anxiously.
"Quiet! I still have a bag of Dosaka Potato chips in my room ... You can have it". She snarled as best as she could without laughing.
"Hey! Don't do that!" He jerked his head sideways and fend off Xiao Yu's hand. "cHIPS? fOR DINNER?" He continued and pasted a big scowl and frown on his face.

They both proceeded to walk to the west corridors of the Monastery, Xiao Yu leading the way.

"HWAORANG!...This is not your house where you get to be served five course meal everyday..this is a monastery"

Hwaorang give a wicked smirk. "Here's my plan. Just sneak me into the kitchen and leave the rest to me."

" We don't have MSG noodles here...and there's no eggs or sausages in the fridge...so there is really no point of you sneaking into the kitchen...fine..you can have my Meiji Yan Yan chocolate snack and wasabi peas to top with it. Take this offer... OR.. start packing and go back to Korea.." She looked backed at her with a mischievious grin before adding " and get married".

This time the Korean had something to worry about. His worst nightmares were about to come true.


"it IS NOT ordinary potato chips. It is the lumpy kind of tomotao flake chips. It look and taste like pizza. Just pretend you are having pizza". Xiao Yu's muttered the last word P-Pizza with a cracked facial expression and burst out laughing.


Sitting crossed leg in Xiao Yu's room, the red haired Korean watched her unzipped and took out a bag of snack from her panda doll bag. Hwaorang eyed quizzically at the bag of potato chips that Xiao Yu had just plopped onto his hands.
"Just this?"
"well..I changed my mind..you can eat those other snacks tomorrow or the day after..save it for an emergency day..you know..".
He stared back at Xiao Yu with a zombie look and grumbled reluctantly before he proceeded in opening the packaged chips.
"It is good isn't it?" She forced a meek grin at him when he took his first munch.

"are you making fun of me? I never heard of such rules in the Buddhist temple back home in Korea or Japan".
"because you aren't living in the temple?..I dont' know..maybe this is China" Xiao Yu grinned largely. She lowered her voice and warn smiling. "SHHH!! eat quietly! Do you want to get me in trouble??"
Hwaorang took a handful of the chips purposely and shuffled it into his mouth. "mmm, pizza". He commented jokingly, making Xiao Yu giggled even more.





Posted by in4/moonflowerdiary at 2:53 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 9 June 2005 2:43 PM EDT
Permalink | Share This Post
Monday, 6 June 2005
My first time Driving out
Mood:  don't ask


Posted by in4/moonflowerdiary at 10:43 PM EDT
Permalink | Share This Post
The first stay
"Where is the abbot? I need to speak to him now". Ling whispered to an elderly monk who was litting candles in the alter.

"oh..the abbot? He is doing his seven days meditation retreat in his room. No one is allowed to disturb him within this seven days".
The elderly monk notice the tall and lean red haired lad and motion them to follow after him outside of the prayer halls.

"Talk here is better". The monk put his palms together to greet Hwaorang.

Hwaorang, wearing a smirk on his face, threw the monk a classy two-fingered salute.

Xiao Yu was doubly shocked and froze. That idiot! that's not how you should greet a monk!. Recovering from her bewilderment almost immediately, she squeaked:" UM!..." Rushing to give a quick announcement:" My friend here would like to stay here for 3 months..and I wonder if it is possible to let him stay?".

Silence filled the air.

"3 months?...that's very long stay...and what is the purpose of your stay?" The monk directed his eyes at Hwaorang, asking calmly and politely.

"I er..come to pay a visit to Ling. "Hwaorang said timidly after he glanced at Ling who was giving him a warning look"..and..at the same time I er...want to learn some Shao Lin Kung Fu".

" I see...lots of young man or boys had travelled far to come to this place to learn our ancient martial arts...however...to master the Shao Lin Kung Fu, one needs to have great dedication and spirit. It takes years to forge the vast and complex skills of one martial art technique....not only that...you must also seek wisdom and observe the Shaolin's standard of precepts that highlights the basis of morality. Usually..ten comes, one stay...lots of hard work. It is not so easy a thing". The elderly monk chuckled softly in his deep voice. "It is rare that the masters here will accept any disciples unless the disciples are interested in the road of pursuing the spiritual path and renunciation". The monk smiled broadly with a twinkle in his eyes.

Xiao Yu added quickly: "My friend here is actually a black don in Taekwondo. He teaches in the Baek Dojo in Korea. He does have some background in Martial Arts...also...we forgot to mention that he is also interested in volunteering to teach english in exchange for some martial arts and Buddhist philosophical knowledge....One of the monks in the monastery, Pu Lin is already looking forward to learn English from Hwaorang.... so Pu Lin can better his english in the future and travel in the western countries to propagate the Dharma and.. the existent ancient treasures of the Shao Lin Kung Fu".

The elderly monk contemplated for awhie and nodded his head slowly. "Yes...I've heard of Pu Lin talking about this goal of his to propagate dharma in the west..this is a lofty vow indeed...I personally believe the small Pu Lin has great wisdom for his young years....perhaps...." The elder paused and fingered the beads in his hand and relented, making the other two gulped with anticipation " perhaps...the right affinity has come...if Pu Lin personally himself looked forward to learning English from your friend here...then I believe they must share some karmic affinity....very well. You may stay for 3 months. I will arrange a place for you to 'gua dan' then...Xiao Yu..please take care of your friend and explain to him the rules of our monastery...so he may know what to expect and how to get around". The elderly monk put his palms together as a gesture of taking leave and withdraw back to the prayer halls in silence.

"Good one Ling...that was a close one".

"What were you doing with that two finger salute?? That is the most impolite thing EVER to do when you are greeting a monk! You idiot" She snapped as soon as
the elder monk stepped back into the prayer hall.

"it is not as if he cares...." He replied with a cool candor.

Xiao Yu had a half mind to whack him on the head for his ignorance but decided to restraint herself from accumulating more bad karmas and doing further wrongs inside the vaccinity of the peaceful monastery. She folded her arms in a rebellious pout.

Hwaorang turned to her suddenly and flashed her a dazzling smile: "Hey Ling! mind if you can get me something to eat? I'm starving". The moment he finished speaking, Hwaorang's stomach gave an awesome growl making Xiao Yu look down at his stomach and back up at his silly smiling face.

"Uh...Hwaorang?". She started uncomfortably.

Hwaorang shrugged. "What?"
She was tongue-tied with a troubled look. "Um..."
"um what?" Hwaorang queried impatiently. "just get me anything..I dont' care whether I have to eat your cooking...I'm so hungry, I'll eat any veggie or stinky tofu for dinner..just get me something to fill up".

Before Hwarang could even add anything more, Xiao Yu broke in." Sorry to tell you this Hwaorang...I don't mean to torture you...but...strictly speaking...No eating is allowed after 12pm..this is one of the monastery's rule".












Posted by in4/moonflowerdiary at 5:29 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 6 June 2005 8:10 PM EDT
Permalink | Share This Post
Sunday, 5 June 2005
Monkhood
Hwaorang rubbed the unpleasant pain that was spreading through his jaw in varying degrees of severity. "Jesus..woman!..you don't have to hit so hard everytime" He mumbled furrowing his brows.

Xiao Yu grimaced and leaned her back on a wall: "....seriously Hwaorang..I really can't figure out why you always have to be such a jerk. Can't you be ....at least... for a day...be like a nice gentleman...if you can't...maybe even pretend to be one? Do you find it enjoyable and amusing when you make me angry?...." She sighed after a long pause before saying in a softer tone".... or maybe...is it just my problem...that I'm just overreacting and that I should control my temper? "

Hwaorang was still rubbing his jaw, his expression full of pain.

Xiao Yu gave him a lethargic glance before dropping her head. "Fine...I'm sorry that I've hit you..and I should not..I shouldn't even hit you at all...I know it is wrong..to use physical violence to solve anything............".

"Forgiven" He cut in before she could finish her words. She looked up at him and he smiled broadly. Swinging his duffel backpack on his shoulder, he asked enthusiastically. "So? aren't you going to show me around your homey monastery like a good host supposed to do?"

However, Xiao Yu did not move from her spot. Instead, she slumped lower as if all the energy was sucked out of her.

Upon seeing Xiao Yu's dispirited expression, it threw Hwaorang in a state of confusion.
He advanced forward to face her. With a raised quizzical eyebrow, he tried to make eye contact with her in which she avoided with a menace. She maintained her silence and kept her head bowed.
"Ling...are you still mad at me? ...what's wrong?". A deep concern etched upon Hwaorang's voice.

"Nothing..."
"No...something is bothering you...."
"I don't know...just...feeling horrible about myself. Here I am....thinking about cultivation....and all these months in the monastery..what am I cultivating"
"Ling..just let go....relax...".
"Hworang? why did you come here?"
"huh? why? what you mean?"
"Are you running away from something such as....bankruptcy?"
"NO!"
"Gangsters are after you?"
"Hell NO!" Pure bewilderment crossed his eyes.
"You committed a crime and Uncle Lei is looking for you?"
"Haha...this is getting funny.. listen Ling....I told you already in my letter" He began gesturing wildly, as though
tongue-tied.
"It is Jin"
A sudden flicker in Hwaorang's eyes....but it was gone the instant it surfaced.
"What about him?"
"Nothing.."
"You seen him?"
"What are you talking about?"
Hwaorang relaxed.

Ling gave him a piercing look. "Hwaorang..there is no world taekwondo competition being held in China...you came all the way here from Korea...you must have a purpose".
After a brief pause.

Hwaorang looked up the sky and put up his hands in a gesture of surrendering. "Allright...allright! You win! Fine...I am in trouble...I can't go back to Korea because I'm running away from an arranged marriage".

"You what???" Xiao Yu gaped in astonishment "You? getting married?".

"Yea...My mom picked a wife for me...Think about it..I can't even trust my mom to pick my style of clothings.....and my mom is choosing a wife for me. ???"

"well..who knows..maybe you'll like her...maybe it'll work out for you....you haven't met her yet have you?".

"Oh yes I have...but it won't work out in the long term".
"How you know?"
"Just everything! We don't share the same goals or interest...put it simply.. true love is looking at the same direction...and we aren't looking at the same direction. Maybe if we do get married....both of our family business is looking at the same direction...but...I don't give a damn about it. Anyways...what my mom is doing will ruin my ife. I told her if by three months the engagement is not off, I will shave my head and become a monk".

"Hwaorang...that's impossible. one of the rules of monasticism is to have parental consent before entering into monkhood".

"The better...I'll just pretend".

"Hwaorang...this is not something to joke around with...You can't pretend you are practicing celibacy when you aren't...you will pile up a lot of bad karma from transgression such as dishonesty and lying...I can't allow such things in our monastery to happen...for your sake as well..the retribution of deceiving others will be the karma of getting reborn as dogs or being born in lower realms after the breakup of your body."

"Come on Ling...I have no where to go from here now...and I need to save up".

"your mom cut your credit line?... how long are you planning to stay here?"

"I don't know...three months maybe...listen, this is my plan. I'll stay here till the summer ends. We'll fly back together to Japan..You attend your first year..I continue attending my third year of college..by then...I could get a part time job at the police department."

"just in case that you can't find a job...how you going to pay for your tuition if your mom still have your credit line cut and you weren't working in the summer?"

"good question. So that's where you come into the picture. I'll borrow some money from you and...I'll pay you back when I graduate"

"Right Hwaorang...that sure is very convenient way of getting around...so now I'm your bank machine".

"I promise I'll pay you back."

"I'm not doubting you financially..I'm still wondering if my grandpa will let you stay for 3 months...that is very long stay...I still think the best way to solve this is try talking to your mom. She can't do much if you aren't in love with the girl. Besides...that girl might hate you and think the same...she might not want to marry you...ever thought of that?"

"It is not so simple like you think it is. There is lots of politics going on...and that girl has no mind of her own...I don't want a wife who always say yes to me or yes to her parents.."

"I don't get it...if she is pretty and she is obedient....aren't she the type of woman all man wants to have for a wife? If your mom likes this girl a lot...she must have seen some potential in her in which you haven't discovered..you think?"

"Look Yu...don't try to figure out everything in an objective point of view...this arranged marriage is purely linked to the wish of making more profits by forming a family business ... don't confuse marriage with business..money and love does not mix...well..maybe it does in a way...but ....for me..it does not. Besides....love like I say is looking at the same direction with your partner"

"Same direction? You are out of your mind Hwaorang.. What kind of girl will share the same goals with you? Be the best fighter? Run the largest Taekwondo Dojo around the world?"

"Ling..what do you know about love?"

"Hey! I have.... dated before"

"how long? with who? JIN?..I bet all you guys ever did was just went out for a couple of drinks or maybe a few movies..and that's it and you call that dating?"

"Yes..that is a good enough date...what else do you expect?...as long that I was made to feel I'm the most speacial girl in Jin's eye..I'm satisfied..." Xiao Yu bowed her head hiding her flushed cheeks.

Hwaorang recalled the days in Mishima High. Strangely enough..Jin never associate with any girls except the pig tailed girl ..Ling. Hwaorang shuddered with the thought of Jin...not only is he a devil...he has a Lolita complex in him....but then again....
Hwaorang scanned Ling walking beside him now...

Ling suddenly looked up, unable to bear the silence between them: "what are you thinking?"


"So..are we dating now because I'm hanging out with you?"

Ling glared coldly at him.

"eerr...umm...just joking...ah haha..." Hwaorang run a finger through his front locks "you know Ling...the case with Jin..he isn't human now... That guy is really screwed up."

"Don't SAY THAT" Ling protested defensively.

"Ling..he is not the Jin that we all know of...he isn't anymore....the last I saw him...he nearly killed me. I fought Jin before...and I can tell..I his physical body has changed...."
"No...he is still JIn!..inside..he is still Jin..You don't know anything about him Hwaorang...What do you know about him?"
"I guess it is human nature to bend the truth ...inorder to see what one is desiring to see"
"No...He is still Jin. I can tell it was him!"
"What did you say?"
"N..nothing"
"No Ling..what did you say?"
"No..."
"..something happened right? ...what...you saw him? when?"
"No....I mean...I just...I just have a lot of dreams about seeing him lately....he seems to be suffering a lot...and he needs my help"
"He is nothing but a devil's claim...he is consumed by darkness...he won't come back anymore..even if he does...he is a devil. If you ever see a devil..I'll tell you what you shold be doing...you either run with your life or you fight him...understand Ling? Do you understand what I'm saying? He does not need your help or sympathy..or even love...he won't know the difference between love and hate...everything to him is just something to be destroyed.. If he shows up in your dreams..you either run away from him or you kill him to get away from him"

" Ling....I know...I've been through this phase...I totally understand how you are feeling right now...but time will tell ...what you are feeling now...is just...temporary insanity...its just...hormones you know..."

"Hwaorang!!! You got it all wrong..."

"we are all mature enough to admit our ..you know...desires or affections...there is nothing really wrong about that Ling..I know you still like Jin..so admit it"

"Hwaorang...you don't understand me at all"

"Don't lie to me Ling"

"It is not what you think Hwaorang."

"then what's with the lingering attachment...if you've been dreaming about him..then you must be thinking of him constantly"

"I don't know..Hwaorang..I admit that I do care about Jin..but that is how far my affection will go. I am not obsessed...like the other girls...because I don't have sexual fantasies....like.."

"You don't?"

"I...I just have a way of subsiding my mind with such thoughts "

"Huh?"

"Look....I'm not love crazy like you think I am..the way I'm brought up is completely different....romance is not part of my culture...or upbringing...whatever you call it....I just tend to sense him deep in my heart...sometimes..I just become one with him in spirit... we all have the same nature of awareness..and when our awareness merged together...He is me and I am him... I felt his inner suffering and loneliness through my awareness or through his awareness..and whatever his mind reflected it becomes mine..feelings, thoughts.....as mine. It is like...telepathy...when he thinks of me...I will sense him...and I could merge with his spirit and mind".

"so you saying that you are psychic?"

"I'm not saying that I'm psychic....not like my grandpa....but I can say...what I felt and what I saw were visions...I don't know how..but...i just happened to have it from time to time....you also possess the sixth sense too or supernatural powers...however....in order to truly open this chakra...we can do so through spiritual progress....a high level of concentration or a high level of stillness of the heart...perhaps...through meditation..i'm not saying that I'm highly spiritual or cultivated...I'm not...I'm guessing...that maybe I've done meditation for some time now....and my sixth sense chakra opens accidentally sometimes without my awareness of it...I can become very sensitive to my surroundings or pick up some messages that were emitting from a farther distance.....and it could simply be just someone's brainwaves...the ants loud movement...even the presence of invisible spirits...".

Hwaorang said nothing. However, he recalled a few past events that were also unexplainable in which he could categorize as psychic experieces too...yet to him...there is really no doubt that Ling is deeply traumatized due to the side effects of blind love...and....at the stage of undergoing temporary insanity...

time will heall...let us hope...Hwaorang contemplated grimly.





































Posted by in4/moonflowerdiary at 12:32 AM EDT
Updated: Monday, 6 June 2005 1:28 AM EDT
Permalink | Share This Post
Friday, 3 June 2005


Posted by in4/moonflowerdiary at 2:34 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 3 June 2005 10:51 PM EDT
Permalink | Share This Post
Thursday, 2 June 2005
Red hair demon
It was two weeks later that he finally arrived. One of the youngest novice monk rushed into the kitchen excitedly to announce his arrival to Xiao Yu. " Your friend! shih jie (sister). The one you told me about. The one that looked like red hair yaksha. He is here! Come quick!"

Xiao Yu followed after the little monk out of the kitchen. They rushed passed the dining hall and speeded up to the long corridors supported by red beams and proceeded in climbing the stairs of the pagoda.
"You can see him on the third balcony". The little monk explained and sprinted up the stairs with zeal. True enough, standing on the third balcony, Xiao Yu caught sight of Hwaorang's lone figure. He was walking up the long stairway path that leads to the monastery gates.
Xiao Yu smiled happily. She wanted to shout out Hwaorang's name but wouldn't dare for fear she might disrupt the monks who were meditating in the meditation halls. It is a great offence to disrupt a monk in his deep state of meditation, espeacially when he had attain samadhi.
Smiling happily, Xiao Yu turned to Pu Lin excitedly: "let's go down and meet him!" Pu Lin nodded eagerly and was the first to dart back down the stairs to welcome Hwaorang to the monastery.

Pu Lin looked admirably at the tall red haired Yaksha and instantly found a liking to him. The little monk politely with his palms together and a bow greeted Hwaorang solemnly. " Amitofo".

Xiao Yu thought the little monk was so cute when he did that. She always call him "ker ai xiao shar mi". ( cute little monk)

Hwaorang cocked his head sideways and looked amused: "cool..what did he say? A mi tofu?"

Xiao Yu laughed. "No , it is amitofwo or amitabha,..it is one of the buddha's name. We believe that saying his name or hearing his name will bring lots of merit and blessing. Thus, it is used for greeting. A good-will thought".

"Oh okay..neat." Hwaorang swung down his backpack. " Man....what a hell of a trip...this place is sure hard to find...how many killer roads and stairs do you have to walk just to get here? There's not even a bike or a bus in sight at all. Two and a half hours of walking distance just to get me here...and some monkeys back there...they were freaking me out cuz they were stalking me ...they look like they have rabis or something".

"Animals won't bite you if you think loving kindness to them. I feed Monkeys everyday in the kitchen".

" if you radiate loving kindness...not give" Xiao Yu instructed him.

" You teaching him english?" Hwaorang asked amazed.

"yea, I am". Xiao Yu replied proudly.

"But your english is nasty and horrible!" Hwaorang teased. Putting his hand on the little guy's bald head, he said: "what's your name buddy?".
The monk said: "Pulin!".
"well, Pulin, if you ever want someone to teach you real english, that would be me not her ....and if you follow her, you'll forever be in ESL".

"What is ESL?" the little monk asked.

Xiao Yu replied indignantly:"well, now who is talking...someone seems to forget that he also has to get enrolled in ESL class too".

The monk looked sideways at Xiao Yu curiously.


Xiao Yu whispered back: "Don't listen to him. If you follow after him, all he will teach you is bad mannered words and rude colloqual english. You'll be slapped by strangers everyday for no reason if you talk exactly like him".


The little monk squirmed with the scary thought and covered his cheeks protectively with his two hands and shook his head. "No! I don't want to be slapped everyday. Isn't that painful mister?".


Hwaorang snorted:" Don't listen to her. As if I get slapped by anyone. If you see the ugliest man whose face looked like purple pulp, then you can probably ask him whether he got slapped everyday by his wife. He'll probably tell you, he was once Xiao Yu's husband....and..we all know how good Xiao Yu is at slapping people on the face.... Maybe that's why she is still single now cuz she is too scary for any men to live with...You can imagine..when she got a husband...and every word that he speaks that displeases her, ouch! he get slapped for it...and man...any good looking man whom she will get married to will basically have free face lift or free face surgery".

"I see here...somebody really want to get a slapping welcome from me" Xiao Yu crossed her arms and said in a deadly tone.

"You know Xiao Yu...I suggest you shouldn't be so picky over men...just pick the ugliest one ...just for the sake of compassion...spare the good looking ones so they can retain their true form while they were still in their early thirties".

"Why you!". Xiao Yu's fury was sparked. She chose to unleash her
anger upon him, rushing at him she was determined to at least land a slap on his flawless face.

In an instant, Hwaorang held up his forearms in a
cross-block, readied in fending off any blow that could rain on him now.

"Don't argue..." The little monk said calmly. "Shih fu said. The real truth leads to peace and harmony . Whoever is right is the one who say sorry first. To keep peace and freedom is the first step to being right. To argue is wrong. Who is right or wrong does not matter. You both can be my english teacher. I am honored and feeling lucky".

Xiao Yu and Hwaorang both gawked at the little monk speechless. Pu Lin smiled at them disarming both of their aggression. The little monk join his palms together again adding a slight humble bow: "Amitofo...I have to go. Shih Fu said I have to finish sweeping the pagoda before sunset". They both watched the little monk walked mindfully and calmly up the stairs until he was out of sight.

Hwaorang scratched his head: "Man...that kid talked like a fifty year old man...he makes me feel..so inferior...like I'm the kid".

Xiao Yu felt embarassed for a moment and her face turned beet red....

yet...

"Hwaorang?" She called out his name sweetly.
He relaxed. "Huh?..what?"


Silence befall them, except the soft breeze ruffled their hairs...and just when Hwaorang felt the tension in the air started to leave and he almost got side-tracked.....

"Eat this!"She snarled and rushed at him, catching him in the jaw with her knuckles.

Posted by in4/moonflowerdiary at 3:18 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 2 June 2005 6:01 PM EDT
Permalink | Share This Post
Wednesday, 1 June 2005
Mountain's retreat
?I can?t believe I lost my concentration and mindfulness. My attention span is getting shorter when it comes to fixing the mind on the breath meditation. I can?t even keep the repetitive recitation of the Buddha?s name for more than ten minutes in my mind?. She scowled herself and resume the sweeping motions of the broom, determined to merge her mind with the awareness of the breath. However, after a few minutes passed, she found again that her mind had drifted away and became distracted. She scowled herself again because she nearly killed an ant with her broom. Squatting down, she watched the little black thing lying on it?s back with all its legs frantically kicking off the air, trying to flip itself back on the ground. ?poor thing? she squatted down and offered her finger for the ant?s legs to hold on to and waited for it to climb on her finger. She giggled feeling the ant?s feet tickling her hand?s skin. Walking to the side where the grasses starts to grow, she gently waited for it to climb onto a blade of grass. Watching the little ant reminded her of the lady bug incident.


It was a few years ago, in Mishima High school. She recalled the time when she actually kicked Hwaorang?s front wheels from rolling straight to save a lady bug stranded on the path of the road. She thought she might have overdone her sidekick. Hwaorang who reacted instantly without a thought, mistaken the speed gauge as his brakes. Pressing too suddenly on his speed gauge, his motorbike went uncontrolled and nearly crashed on an oak tree. Hwaorang went mad when he saw the slightly bended tire left after the kick. Almost jumping off his wheels, he unbuckled and took off his helmet and threw it on the grass field. Coming aggressively towards her, He hollered at the chinese girl mercilessly: ?WHAT DA HELL?? ARE YOU CRAZY?? WHAt DID YOU DO THAT FOR??? ? and his eyeballs got bigger as he watch in amazement the petite girl who had just violently kicked his precious tires now dropped down on all fours infront of him, oblivious to her surroundings and unaffected to his shouting. Scooping down to examine something tiny and red on the gravel floor. Irritatingly he asked: ?What in the wORLD?? are you now doing????. He stopped a moment either stunned or amazed to watch the girl calmly put her finger down on the gravel floor to patiently wait for a ladybug to crawl onto it. His mind first went blank to incomprehension and later shifted to the state of complete raging madness: ? What??? You kicked my tire to save a stupid bug??? ARE YOU CRAZY???. Xiao Yu stood up and walked a few steps back. ?Um?sorry??. She just stared at him and defensively, she moved her hand to shield the lady bug who had climbed down safely into the centre of her upturned palms. ?I wanted to shout at you to stop but I know for sure you can?t stop in time. So I have no choice. A life is more precious than a material object. It might not matter to you, but it matters to this lady bug? She open her palms and showed him gleefully the small red bug crawling cautiously in the centre of her palm. ?see? It wouldn?t be walking around like this anymore if your wheels did not stop on the track?. Hwaorang ran his fingers over his front red locks. ? This is crazy! All you care about is that bug?? What about me??? Do you know that you would have caused me an accident??? I could have died from getting on the wrong lane and being hit by an oncoming car!!!?. Xiao Yu shrugged her shoulder: ?well? it is not like there is any car coming and your vehicle is coming on too slow?besides your speed was just crawling speed...it is not as if you were really driving?you aren?t even paying attention to where you were going? Hwaroang sneered at her: ?Oh? Is that right? So You saying that I don?t know where I?m going? I don?t know how to drive??. She pointed her finger towards two girls standing across the school?s yard. ? Well?you were looking at them aren?t you??. The two girls who were listening to their quarrels started giggling and covering their mouths with their hands. Embarassed, Hwaorang grabbed her raised hand and shove it down. He leaned forward and talked under his breathe:. ? stop pointing! Didn?t your mom tell you not to point at strangers?? Xiao Yu retorted: ?Well, did your mom tell you that it is rude to stare and oggle at stranger girls??. Another orchestrated giggle went around the school compound. It seemed their commotion had attracted a lot of attention. Xiao Yu decided to make a run for it when Hwaorang was distracted and unsure of what to do. He couldn?t run after her for fear that someone might steal his motorbike. He cursed vehemently as he watched her back disappeared around the corner of the school canteen.

A voice startled her from behind. ? When sweeping, concentrate on sweeping. When reciting, concentrate only on reciting. When meditating, put your heart to it. How can you do something well when you try to do two things at once??. Xiao Yu turned around quickly, by the time she had place her body in the right position for a palm together gesture greeting, he had already quietly disappeared into one of the main prayer halls.

She knows he was reading her mind again. All these few years of carefree attitude and unbridled mindfulness was something that the senior monks called ? defilement and being too near the mud?.

The abbot or her grandfather had said on the first day of her return: ?When you come to the temple, leave all your worldly cares behind. When you shut the temple gates behind you, it means all your worries, desires and attachment belongs to the outside world. You only bring your bodhi heart with you here. Cultivate and nurture your bodhi heart?. Xiao Yu heaved another sigh. He did not mention anything about Martial arts. Perhaps, she is no longer a child. It is time to strive for things that are of even greater value. She wondered if her heart had retrogress too much on the right path.



?Candles flick on too much?and it cast shadows over the pages?.there is just not enough light..why can?t they install electricity? she moved her candle stand slightly to the left and continued reading the passages of the immeasurable light sutra. "Good people do good and move from happiness to happiness and from brightness to brightness. Bad people do evil and move from pain to pain, and from darkness to darkness?. Flashes of Jin?s face gripped her mind. Closing the sutra book, she carried the candle stand and place it on the floor.
She took out the letter from Hwaorang and re-read again every single word in the letter.


?Hey chinagirl:
So how you are doing in China? Having fun killing your tofus? I still can?t believe you turned into a vegetarian?I thought you like dim sum and those peking ducks. I heard you quit your modelling career too. Law told me you went back home for some kind of ?spiritual quests? ..and I thought here?you were hitting it big on the entertainment industry...I was hoping you can introduce some of your sexy girl friends to me?but?you just gave up on your hollywood dream?what can I say??. Kid.what were you thinking back there?
Well?if that is what you want?I have nothing to say.
So now you are finally back to China, you can have as many tofu as you want. How?s your Panda? I?m here having a good time, killing my steaks. Hmmm, delicious. Anyways..Just to let you know, I might be dropping by and visiting your temple. Man..I can?t wait to challenge those shaolin monks..what you call them? Shih shiong? Anyways? I?m competiting in the world taekwondo tournament around the world?presently I?m now in Korea still?but soon, we?ll be flying to china?.so? See ya kid..don?t greet me with a bald head kay! That will give me a heart attack. You don?t want to kill me do you?

I just found this at one of the magazines. Law sold your pic for $500. That geezer. Anyways, I got it back. It is safe with me now..but I thought it might cheer you up a bit. It did make me laugh when I saw it. Haha..?it reminds me of you back then in high school time. You always have this silly look on you.



Hwaorang


His letter warms her heart.



"since when did I start being friends with you again?" she said as if talking to Hwaorang personally.

Taking out the box, she opened it and brought out Jin?s pic. She had took this picture of him standing on the balcony?.she still remember how she had begged him to give her a smile. ?He smiled just to be kind to me". Jin was smiling?she remembered how estatic she felt when she finally was able to see him smile for the first time.?at that time she never notice. She always beam proudly to herself that she was perhaps the first person to ever take a pic of Jin smiling so kindly. It was the only time when he had let his guard down and although there was no anger or any dark feelings that surround him?sorrow lingers in his eyes ?but now?perhaps years of experience had taught her to see the eyes of loneliness and sorrow. This picture was not a happy one?those eyes were nothing but fear, sorrow and pain. He never smiled afterwards.. He was drowning in his sorrows...he was 19 at that time?19.

and what do I look like when I was 19? .?.still looking as silly as ever.
Ling laughed and put the pics together side by side. ? We look like a couple don?t we? We are meant to be together aren?t we?? Xiao Yu shook her head to stop her mind from gripping the past again. She gently put back all the pics that she had collected throughout the years and stored it safely in a little red china box with a phoenix and a dragon picture carved outside. She wondered what time is it? She still would have to get up at 4 am. It didn?t matter. Somehow...the older she got?the less she could sleep. It almost seemed she had grew into a restless spirit. She could hear the sound of crickets calling and the wind howling feriously outside. She blew off the candle and put the candle outside the doorway so the fumes can whif any direction it wants outside the wind. She went back to her bed of thin mattress and lied there, drawing her thick pink cotton blanket up to her chin for security. Turning sideways , she curled up to sleep.

?everyone?s aura were unhealthy. A dark and almost sickening chi surrounds their being. All of their hearts were poisoined by greed, hatred and delusion. Their greed for victories..yet striving for the moments that will always be impermanent. Perhaps it isnt about the striving. When there is a winner, someone would have to loose. It hurts to see people fighting to kill. They misuse the art of martial arts....this isnt about martial arts anymore?this is people reacting on their anger and hatred deep inside?like a ripple effect, whatever that energy concentrate on, that object will be the target of abuse....it makes them all so cold and hurtful to each other emotionally and physically. Everyone here lacks loving kindness?and without love in their hearts, they can?t manage to be friendly to each other. Although most of them have a high level of concentration which shows during their fights?yet most of them are delusional for holding wrong views..and they spend their spirit and lives concentrating on things that are destructive and consumes them?.none of them knows the true meaning of life. Even if they had won and seek revenge on a fight?.it will all become empty and meaningless down the path?.the human heart in nature are desirous of peace and harmony. I didn?t want to think of them because when I do, I could pick up one of their chis, dark feelings or emotions and it hurts?it hurts my spirit as if these dark feelings, emotions and thoughts were my own. I just want to discard them instantly. I don?t understand how anyone would want these darkness to bind with their spirit and mind..I don?t want to end up like them?like him?.


Posted by in4/moonflowerdiary at 5:25 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 2 June 2005 6:23 PM EDT
Permalink | Share This Post

Newer | Latest | Older