Jeeha: Roommate, friend, weirdo

  • Are Black guys white?
  • I don't ever want to be double-teamed.
  • Washcloths never boil!
  • It's the kind of humor that requires thought. I don't like that kind of humor!
  • I just let out the most glorious fart -- you would have loved it.
  • Just to pass the time, I watched porn again.
  • I was just imagining Justin's hooha...
  • Buh-bye, you nasty hooha!
  • Will you suck some chutzpa for me?
  • Give me some Roman-style sugar, baby.
  • Do you know I'm wearing the panties you saw my ass in?
  • You need sex. You need it *now*...I'll do it for you.

    Double Team

  • Jee: "Got a name?"
    Jean: "Yeah - Daddy!"

  • Jean: You're horny.
    Jee: No I'm not. Seriously, I know when I'm horny.

  • Jee: I'm flushed for one of two reasons.
    Jean: You're hot?
    Jee: Yes.
    Jean: You're horny?
    Jee: Yes, well actually, there's a third reason, too.

  • Jean: I wasn't brought up by going to church.
    Jee: What? What does that have to do with Roland?
    Jean: Did you say he was an atheist?
    Jee: No, I said he was an Asian!

  • Jean: How many credit hours are you taking?
    Jee: 19.
    Jean: Oh, Lord! You're going to die!!
    Jee: Oh! Wait! 17! I was thinking of my age...

  • Jee: Jean! Who's 18?!
    Jean: I am.
    Jee: Exactly.
    Jean: Oh! Wait! No I'm not!

  • Jee: That Starbuck's was really bitter.
    Jean: Coffee tends to be. You know what that taste is? It's the taste of...
    Jee: ...the plight of the Guatamalan chlidren. I know.

    Donuts Are a Girls Best Friend

  • Jee: My underwear is all wet!
    Jean: That's because you're thinking of the donut man!
  • Jee: Jean, he's married.
    Jean: No he's not. Look at him, dude!
  • Jean: All this cuz I brought up sex with the God damn Dunkin' Donuts Man!
  • Jean: Blast you Dunkin Donuts Man! You'll get yours yet...and I'll be the one giving it to you!!!....All night long!!
  • Jean: I just used to eat bananas like that anyway before it became a sexual thing,

    Known Accomplices

  • Rach: "Ah, what fun is humanity?"
    "None at all. Humanity is no fun at all.
    Rach: "Neither is a conscience."
    "Yeah. That's why I'm glad my laughter drowns it out."
  • Megs to Vern: "Now what I want you to do is take off your bra and pulld own your pants."
  • Megs: "Do not touch a giggly girl's bottom!"

    Dr. Kiziria

  • "Can you imagine God:
    -CAN YOU STEP UP TO THE TABLE, PLEASE...STATE YOUR NAME.
    -Sonja.
    -LAST NAME?
    -Marmeladov.
    -OCCUPATION?
    -Prostitute.
    -LET'S SEE...CHAPTER 14, VERSE 7....HM...ETERNAL DAMNATION. MICHAEL? CAN YOU TAKE CARE OF HER, PLEASE?"
  • "Can you imagine six billion Christs running around? I would be disaster!"
  • "I must confess I'm agnostic. I don't know if there's God, if there's not. I'll find out when I die and hope he's more forgiving than...Jerry Falwell."
  • "Is there any justice in this world? Actually, there's not."
  • "In year 2025, when I am long gone and burning in hell..."
  • "Blow on the dying lamp and let it go out."