Jeeha: Roommate, friend, weirdo
Are Black guys white?
I don't ever want to be double-teamed.
Washcloths never boil!
It's the kind of humor that requires thought. I don't like that kind of humor!
I just let out the most glorious fart -- you would have loved it.
Just to pass the time, I watched porn again.
I was just imagining Justin's hooha...
Buh-bye, you nasty hooha!
Will you suck some chutzpa for me?
Give me some Roman-style sugar, baby.
Do you know I'm wearing the panties you saw my ass in?
You need sex. You need it *now*...I'll do it for you.
Double Team
Jee: "Got a name?"
Jean: "Yeah - Daddy!"
Jean: You're horny.
Jee: No I'm not. Seriously, I know when I'm horny.
Jee: I'm flushed for one of two reasons.
Jean: You're hot?
Jee: Yes.
Jean: You're horny?
Jee: Yes, well actually, there's a third reason, too.
Jean: I wasn't brought up by going to church.
Jee: What? What does that have to do with Roland?
Jean: Did you say he was an atheist?
Jee: No, I said he was an Asian!
Jean: How many credit hours are you taking?
Jee: 19.
Jean: Oh, Lord! You're going to die!!
Jee: Oh! Wait! 17! I was thinking of my age...
Jee: Jean! Who's 18?!
Jean: I am.
Jee: Exactly.
Jean: Oh! Wait! No I'm not!
Jee: That Starbuck's was really bitter.
Jean: Coffee tends to be. You know what that taste is? It's the taste of...
Jee: ...the plight of the Guatamalan chlidren. I know.
Donuts Are a Girls Best Friend
Jee: My underwear is all wet!
Jean: That's because you're thinking of the donut man!
Jee: Jean, he's married.
Jean: No he's not. Look at him, dude!
Jean: All this cuz I brought up sex with the God damn Dunkin' Donuts Man!
Jean: Blast you Dunkin Donuts Man! You'll get yours yet...and I'll be the one giving it to you!!!....All night long!!
Jean: I just used to eat bananas like that anyway before it became a sexual thing,
Known Accomplices
Rach: "Ah, what fun is humanity?"
"None at all. Humanity is no fun at all.
Rach: "Neither is a conscience."
"Yeah. That's why I'm glad my laughter drowns it out."
Megs to Vern: "Now what I want you to do is take off your bra and pulld own your pants."
Megs: "Do not touch a giggly girl's bottom!"
Dr. Kiziria
"Can you imagine God:
-CAN YOU STEP UP TO THE TABLE, PLEASE...STATE YOUR NAME.
-Sonja.
-LAST NAME?
-Marmeladov.
-OCCUPATION?
-Prostitute.
-LET'S SEE...CHAPTER 14, VERSE 7....HM...ETERNAL DAMNATION. MICHAEL? CAN YOU TAKE CARE OF HER, PLEASE?"
"Can you imagine six billion Christs running around? I would be disaster!"
"I must confess I'm agnostic. I don't know if there's God, if there's not. I'll find out when I die and hope he's more forgiving than...Jerry Falwell."
"Is there any justice in this world? Actually, there's not."
"In year 2025, when I am long gone and burning in hell..."
"Blow on the dying lamp and let it go out."