I keep telling myself that she is lucky to have found me. I try to convince myself that it isn't the other way around. I wonder where she would be without me. I wonder where I would be without her. I guess I'll never know. She tells me that I think too much. She says that I should just let it flow.

It's easy for her to say as she sits sipping her cup of coffee and reading the comics from the newspaper. She read somewhere that reading the comics each day would make her live longer. I guess thats true. She's lived through a lot. I wish I could have lived through it with her. I wish I could have been there holding her beautiful hand along the way. She would have never stood for that, even if it was possible. I dread the day she comes to tell me she's moving and that there is more for her to discover out in the world. Just the thought of that makes me uneasy and I start to squirm on the futon on which I lay. Jennifer turns to me from her comics and smiles, as if she realizes I've been watching her the whole time. She turns back to her Dilbert comic, as if it has more to offer than I do.

I drag myself off the futon and I pull the old cotton sheets off reveling the black coushin underneath. I roll the faded sheets into a ball and I throw them under the futon. Jennifer frowns at me over her newspaper. She's always complaining that she deserves satin sheets. She says that the faded cotton sheets reminde her of the ones she's ben sleeping on her whole life.

I push the futon into it's couch positon and I grab a clean T-shirt and underwear from the metal shelves on the side of the futon. I walk to the bathroom that's in the corner of the studio apartment. I then jump into the shower. I get out, dry myself off, and I put on the clean T-shirt and underwear. I walk back out into the main room of the studio apartment and I plop onto the couch. Jennifer has finished reading her comics. I watch her get up from her chair and refill her cup.

"Do you know what that stuff does to your insides?" I say to her as she takes a sip from her newly refilled cup of coffee. She closes her eyes as if that sip of coffee has filled a hole in her soul. She takes another sip like I don't exist.

"Jenn you know I love it when you ignore me. But sometimes I wish you would give me the benifit of the doubt and actually act like you care that I'm here." I finish my pleas just as Jennifer slams her cup onto the counter and storms off into the bathroom. She slams the door behind her and turns on the facet. I get up off the futon and I head to the bathroom door. I find myslef in situations like this with jennifer a lot. We're always talking through doors. I think she has a problem with facing the problems in her life.

"Jennifer you know the normal response to me telling you that I feel as if you don't care about me would be for you to talk to me. But instead you run off to the bathroom."

"Don't patronize me Shay. I really don't need your bitching this morning." She says as she opens the bathroom door. I step back to allow her to stand in the bathroom doorway. She folds her arms across her chest, leans back against the wall and stares at me. A few strands of her lovely dark brown hair falls across her face and she brushes it away. As I stare into her deep chestnut eyes and In a rush I realize how much I love her.

"Jennifer I'm sorry" I say as I wrap my arms around her.

"Whatever, I have to go" She says as she pushes me away

"Go? Where are you going?" I ask as she walks over to the metal shelves by the futon.

"I'm going out. I told Joe that I'd meet him for breakfast." She says as she pulls off her T-shirt and pulls on her skin tight jeans over her black lacy thong.

"Huh? You're having breakfast with Joe? Why?" I ask a little caught off guard by the sight of her bare supple breasts. For a second I forget about how she's having breakfast with Joe. All I can think of is how delicious she looks standing there. All I want to do is gently massage those breasts as she passionatly kisses me.

"You know Jenn, seeing you there makes me want you so bad." I say as I walk over to put my arms around her.

"Shay give me a break, okay!" She says as she pushes me away from her. She pulls a skin-tight white t-shirt off the metal shelf and squeezes it over her head.

"I already told you I have to go." She reassures me as she heads for the door. She grabs her purse off the hook on the wall and turns back around to look at me. Shee sees the hurt look on my face and she comes back over to where I stand. I stare at her. Then I lose my power over all my abilities to control myself. And I embrace her with a rush of passionate kisses. I run my hand up her tight shirt and I caress her full nipples. Overwhelmed by the need to feel her inside of me I press my hand against her croch. She wraps her legs around me.

"I want to be fucked hard." I whisper in her ear. I kiss her neck and I firmly grab her butt. I lay her down onto the futon just as the phone rings.

"You don't have to answer that." I say just as she wiggles out of my arms to get the phone. She picks up the phone as I pull my T-shirt off. I ignore her phone conversation as I dream up the many pleasures a waiting me when she hangs up the phone. But I'm brought back to reality as she hangs up the phone, picks her purse off the floor and heads for the door.

"Jennifer where the hell are you going." I say just a little pissed off at the fact that she was actually considering leaving at a time like this.

"Shay that was Joe. He's waiting for me. I'll be back later, okay." She says as she opens the door.

"Jennifer I don't know if you noticed that we were in the middle of something." I say as I walk to the door where she stands.

"Please Shay I don't have time for this"

" Jenn, you're joking right?"

"Get real, Shay. You know what? I'm not even gonna have this conversation with you."

"Fine!" I say as I turn back toward the futon. I plop on it and I fold my arms.

"Good!" She says as she slams the door.

and the saga continues