Students


(Jewish accent) "They have ridiculous. Why don't they have re-cock-ulous? Or re-balls-ulous?" --Jean Morrison New

"Let's play Confuse-the-Jew!" New

"Girlfriend, I'll bitch-slap you to next Tuesday...Oh, I'll bitch-slap you to next Friday. Where did Wednesday go? Oooh, I bitch-slapped you right past it!"

"Don't pimp me, Ma, please."

"All gay men are rapists." --Suzy Wilson

"I wish Esty were a vampire. Then he could bite my neck with impunity."

"In twenty years, he'll be a grumpy old man who, when little kids are on his lawn, will spray them with the garden hose...or shoot them." --Dave Huss, on Dr. Eysturlid

"His wife lived in Indy for a while, but yet she managed to make it to eight o'clock church. He was living in sin." --Janet Barrows, on Dr. Eysturlid

"I'll piss something someday that's better than the both of them." --Suzy Wilson, on Mountain Dew and beer

"My calf is still tight." --Dave Huss, being scary

"I don't care about anything anymore." --Scott Cohen, being a dumbass

"Let the silent judging begin." --Mo Rhim

"Mmm, this tastes like cherry, cherry-ness."

"Shiny foods in bags."

"It was either self-mutilation or Christianity. One of them had to go." --Suzy Wilson

"Yes, I have vigilante breasts. They go off and fight crime while I sleep." --Jean Morrison

"I don't have calloused genitals. Jesus." --Jean Morrison

"One or two ways to destroy the world are enough." --Anthony Leon

"Damn you, Sparkles!" --Bobby Smith

"Oh, fid-lee-dee." --Bobby Smith

"I feel so chinky." --Wand Gan

"[Diamonds are a] guy's worst enemy." --Tashfeen

"Suck it, Miss Money-Penny." --Jean Morrison and I

"I'm plotting against the Boy Scouts as we speak." --Dave Huss