(Jewish accent) "They have ridiculous. Why don't they have re-cock-ulous? Or re-balls-ulous?" --Jean Morrison New
"Let's play Confuse-the-Jew!" New
"Girlfriend, I'll bitch-slap you to next Tuesday...Oh, I'll bitch-slap you to next Friday. Where did Wednesday go? Oooh, I bitch-slapped you right past it!"
"Don't pimp me, Ma, please."
"All gay men are rapists." --Suzy Wilson
"I wish Esty were a vampire. Then he could bite my neck with impunity."
"In twenty years, he'll be a grumpy old man who, when little kids are on his lawn, will spray them with the garden hose...or shoot them." --Dave Huss, on Dr. Eysturlid
"His wife lived in Indy for a while, but yet she managed to make it to eight o'clock church. He was living in sin." --Janet Barrows, on Dr. Eysturlid
"I'll piss something someday that's better than the both of them." --Suzy Wilson, on Mountain Dew and beer
"My calf is still tight." --Dave Huss, being scary
"I don't care about anything anymore." --Scott Cohen, being a dumbass
"Let the silent judging begin." --Mo Rhim
"Mmm, this tastes like cherry, cherry-ness."
"Shiny foods in bags."
"It was either self-mutilation or Christianity. One of them had to go." --Suzy Wilson
"Yes, I have vigilante breasts. They go off and fight crime while I sleep." --Jean Morrison
"I don't have calloused genitals. Jesus." --Jean Morrison
"One or two ways to destroy the world are enough." --Anthony Leon
"Damn you, Sparkles!" --Bobby Smith
"Oh, fid-lee-dee." --Bobby Smith
"I feel so chinky." --Wand Gan
"[Diamonds are a] guy's worst enemy." --Tashfeen
"Suck it, Miss Money-Penny." --Jean Morrison and I
"I'm plotting against the Boy Scouts as we speak." --Dave Huss