The hidden half of domestic violence
Statistics can be manipulated. When one gets funding based on these statistics manipulation can be very rewarding. If I did a study on the number of people who purchased a grill cheese sandwich, and got paid for each grilled cheese purchased, it would be tempting to call any sandwich with cheese a grilled cheese. Of course this would not be honest. There are a number of reasons we do not know the real statistics on domestic violence and we will explore a few of them here.
1: Many of the statistics on the number of abused women were obtained from surveying "women's shelters" These shelters stood to gain funding based upon the number of abused women they found. The more abused women they found, the greater the funding so would it not be in "their" best interest to "find" more of them? Would it not be in "our" best interest to study the statistics from those who have nothing to gain, or lose by what they show?
2: There are many public service announcements encouraging women to seek help for domestic violence. Almost all of these are centered on having female victims and male abusers. Several inform us that the woman is seeking help so her "son" does not become an abuser. Of course we all know her daughter will not become one.
3: We often hear "there is no excuse to hit a woman" yet our society provides countless reasons to hit a man. We see this in sit -coms, drama, movies and almost every mode of entertainment. Men are often beaten, hit and even kicked in the groin and we laugh. If we changed the genders the men would be arrested for aggravated sexual assault if this were to happen. As a result of this "conditioning" we do not see the many often sadistic things done to men as abuse. How often have we, have "you" thought that when a woman hits a man, "what did he do to deserve that?"
4: "Must arrest" laws throw off the statistics. Many locations have "must arrest" and "no drop" laws. There is strong reason to believe that in many of these locations, it is the man that must be arrested since law enforcement agencies get funding from the Violence Against Women Act if a man is arrested for domestic violence. This means the man is arrested even if he is the only victim. Often the D.A. counters that they had a conviction or that he admitted guilt but lets look at this a little closer.
4A: When a man is arrested for domestic violence for the first offense, he is often given the chance to go to an "anti-violence" or a "batter's class and upon "successful completion" completion of this class, the charges will be dropped. (this is sort of like going to traffic safety class to get a speeding ticket dismissed) however as part of the treatment program for this class the man has to sign a treatment plan. In this plan is an admission of guilt. Without thinking, the plan is signed since not doing so will result in not completing the course and thus he would be tried for domestic violence. However in doing so, he now as a record of domestic violence and the next time police are called, this will come back to haunt him.
5: There are other ways the "must arrest" laws distort the statistics If we take 100 men and 100 women and out of this, 50 men AND 50 women are abusive to their spouse, and if each were arrested, the statistics would show that the rate if 50%. Now suppose that with "must arrest" laws that out of the 50 women that battered their husband or boyfriend, "he" was arrested in 40 of these cases. Now we have 50 abusive men being arrested, but we have 40 male "victims" being arrested as well as 10 of the women that were abusive being arrested. But now when we look at the statistics we now find that 90% of the abusers were MEN...and only 10% were women although in reality the rate was still 50%.
6: Most of the training in domestic violence is provided by feminist sources, often from women's shelters. Many areas now have women's advocates going on all domestic calls. Few if any have a men's advocate. As a result, it is more likely to see abuse where none exists. Also since these "experts" are training the police, the police tend to believe their training.
7: Coupled with the "must arrest" laws, the Violence Against Women Act encourages false allegations of abuse, especially if a woman is thinking of getting a divorce. This will essentially assure her of keeping everything including the kids and the house. Often we see cartoons as a refection of society. There are cartoons that show women coming out of divorce court or with "trophies" on their wall that would be inappropriate for me to link to or to even describe. There must be a reason for these cartoons to be "funny". I am not laughing! Very seldom are these women charged with any crime for making these false allegations. The few that are, are charged with a misdemeanor and given a small fine or a few hours of community service, perhaps in a women's shelter to add insult to injury. The men who were wrongfully charged however will have spent thousands of dollars, time in jail and still have lost all they had. As a result, there is little to lose to falsely accuse one's spouse of a domestic abuse and everything to gain. The damage to the man however is often very severe and even life threatening Some have gone on to commit suicide as a result.
8: Men are taught to take it like a "man" I have seen men that could be tackle on football teams that would not admit a woman inflicted an injury to them so in turn they said they were in a fight with another man or that they were mugged. Yes it may be "pride" but what would your reaction be if a 200 pound man was beaten by a 100 pound woman? Would you be tempted to tease him? Think about it. It is this type of teasing that prevents men from speaking up.
PLEASE NOTE: MOST homes do not include any of the above. YES we do agree that many women ARE abused and some severely. Many are abused without provocation. The problem is not however a GENDER problem,. but a HUMAN problem It is a SIN problem. Please check this web site and especially THE FIRST STEP TOWARD BETTER RELATIONSHIPS for solutions.
In Germany they came first
for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then
they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they
came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade
unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was
a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak
(MEN WE NEED TO SPEAK UP!
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