A beautiful Saturday morning dawned. It was the middle of Spring, a gentle breeze blew in a clear sky, birds whistling, children playing in the street,… ahhhh… yup, life was good……..

Until…….

^scratch, scratch^

Buck groaned aloud.

"Quit that noise Kid!" he yelled and covered his head with his pillow.

^scratch, scratch^

He raised his voice again, "I said cut it out! I’m trying to sleep in here!"

This outburst was followed by the sound of feet padding on the wooden floor. The door to Buck’s bedroom was gently pushed open.

"What did y want Buck?" asked a sleepy J.D yawning.

"I said be quiet!" Wilmington snapped again.

^scratch, scratch^

"Quit makin that noise!"

"Aint me.. I’m standing here looking at you."

Buck sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Shhhhh… Buck…. look over there.."

"Where?"

"Look… under the chair….it’s a mouse."

"Shit!" Wilmington cursed and, leaning over the side of the bed, picked up a boot and hurled it in the direction that Dunne had indicated.

"Bloody vermin. Reckon that’ll take care of it." Nestling himself back into the bed he smiled up at the younger man. "Hey J.D., reckon there’s any chance of some coffee… seein as how you’re already up and all."

Grumbled curses and muttered ‘why me’s’ were heard as Dunne walked to the kitchen. "Sure" he yelled over his shoulder. "Not like I was gonna sleep in or anything."

Suddenly there was a loud "Shit!" from the kitchen. Buck threw the blankets off and, grabbing his pants hopped, with one leg in, toward that room. As he came around the door he landed with a thud on the tiled floor.

"What? What is it?" he cried.

"Look at this mess Buck!"

"Shit! What kinda tornado did that?" the ladies man growled.

"Musta been the mice. They got into everything. Look the bread, the breakfast cereal. OH NO!" he cried, "Casey’s chocolate chip cookies!"

"Not the cookies!" Buck cried.

"Damn it all. I was looking forward to those cookies."

"Alright after you get dressed and clean up this mess…."

"Me?"

"Yeah.. you found it. So …as I was saying… after you get dressed, go down to the hardware store and get some mouse traps."

"But…."

"Just do it… I’m going back to bed."

^-^ ^-^ ^-^ ^-^

=o= =o= =o= =o=

Dunne spent the morning clearing up the debris left in the wake of the tiny mammals. The more he looked through the cupboards the more damaged packets he found, so the more mess he had to clear up. When that was done, he jumped on his red Harley Davidson Sportster and drove over to Casey’s for a visit and then onto the hardware store to collect the traps. Arriving back at the apartment later that evening, he was greeted by Buck lazing on the sofa watching a baseball game.

"Well kid, you get those traps?."

"Yeah."

"Alright, set em up then."

"Where?"

"Hell, wherever those critters have been lately."

"Hey Buck…."

"Geesh Kid, you decide… make up your own mind for once."

"O.K. Buck."

"See ya in the morning."

"See ya Buck."

^-^ ^-^ ^-^

"OWWWWWWWW!! ….. SHII--IIIIT!!

"What?? … where??" J.D. came running into the kitchen, buck naked with his gun drawn. Before him on the floor sat one Buck Wilmington holding his foot. Attached to his foot were three mouse traps encased around his toes.

"You set the fuckin’ traps in the middle of the fuckin’ floor!" Wilmington cried rocking back and forth holding the injured toes between his hands.

"The language Buck!"

"The fuckin middle of the fuckin floor!"

"Yeah I…."

"What the hell… ow, ow, ow…. Were you thinking?"

"But you said…."

"You stupid idiot!"

"But you said to….."

"Not in the middle of the floor!"

"Sorry."

"Hell, I think my toe is broken."

"Let me see."

"You keep away from me…" the big man cried as he swatted away Dunne’s hand. "OW! Yep, my little pinky toe is snapped in two."

As Dunne knelt down to help his fallen friend, he saw two eyes peering out from under the table.

"Buck." he whispered, nudging the other man.

"Shit…. What now?… aint it enough that you durn near crippled me?"

"Buck" J.D. said more emphatically now. "Look… over there."

Wilmington’s gaze slowly followed to where the younger man was looking.

"Hey kid," he whispered. "You still got your gun?"

"You can’t shoot it!"

"J.D. give me your gun."

"No way."

"Give me the goddamn gun!"

"I… I can’t"

"J.D.!"

"Uh-uh, Nope. Absolutely not!"

"J…..D…." the big man hissed through clenched teeth.

"Look Buck, I’ll catch it….I’ll get a--a cat…. Tomorrow… I’ll go down to the cat rescue place and -- and get one first thing."

Wilmington frowned angrily, then grabbed his foot again and began rocking back and forth once more.

"Maybe, I better get you to the doctors first." Offered J.D.

"Ow, Ow, shit, shit… damn it!" cursed Buck again, "Y aint takin’ me nowhere naked, boy!…. ow, ow, owwwwwww!!!!

^-^ ^-^ ^-^

=o= =o= =o=

Monday morning at the office found five of the seven working away at their desks. Chris Larabee walked from his office looking at the watch on his wrist. Seeing Vin Tanner working at his computer he asked, "Vin, Buck and J.D. in yet?"

"Nope, haven’t seen ‘em yet. But J.D. did say they was gonna be a bit late."

"Yeah, but it’s 10.30. They should have been here by…."

Any further comment was interrupted by the office door inching open and Buck Wilmington hobbling in on crutches.

"What in hell happened to you?" asked Larabee.

"Nuthin." Came the gruff reply.

"Buck. Did you have an accident?" asked Nathan.

"I said I don’t… ow… want to talk about it…. Ow!" Wilmington said as he limped over to his desk and sat down heavily. "And before anyone asks, it IS broken, AND I.. DON’T… WANT….TO….TALK….ABOUT…..IT!"

"Something to do with Mr Dunne, no doubt" commented Ezra without looking up from his desk.

"No doubt brother." Winked Josiah.

Suddenly the phone rang on Buck’s desk. He leant forward and lifted the hand piece to his ear. "Wilmington." He growled.

"Buck, it’s me."

"Who?"

"Me, J.D."

"Aw hell.. where are you?"

"Down stairs… I got it!"

"You got… oh you got it." Wilmington’s voice lowered as he covered the phone with his hand.

"Come down and take a look."

"Can’t you bring it up here?"

"Well.. it’s kinda lively.. I think it’ll be better if you come down here."

"Alright… I’m on my way."

"Going somewhere Mr. Wilmington?" asked Ezra casually.

"Nope… uh… just going to stretch my legs. Oh Ezra.. could you tell Chris I’ve gone home…. And… uh… J.D.’s taking me? " Buck said as he picked up his crutches and hobbled out the door.

"Most assuredly Mr. Wilmington. I shall pass on your message."

^-^ ^-^ ^-^

Arriving a short time later in the undercover car park, the ladies man was greeted by J.D. carrying a re-inforced metal animal crate. There was a low hiss and an angry ‘meow’ from inside.

"What’d you get kid?"

"A black tom cat."

"A black cat." Wilmington sighed, "don’t tell me.. it’s name is Sooty or… or, better still blackie…"

"Nope," Dunne smiled. "his name is… well… he was already named ….. Chris."

"Chris! Are you crazy?"

"No.. I mean.. I think it’s perfect. The man said he was the toughest, meanest, son of a …. Well, he is one tough pussy."

Buck stood balancing on his crutches, glaring down at J.D. Finally he continued, "fine, it’s your funeral. Bring ‘Chris’ along and we’ll see what he can do with those damn mice."

J.D. picked up the carry box. There was a low growl as the box swayed from side to side.

"Sssshhhhh Chris, calm down. It’s alright."

"Chris." Buck said rolling his eyes. "This I gotta see."

^-^ ^-^ ^-^

=o= =o= =o=

They arrived a short time later at their shared apartment. Gently carrying the crate the two agents entered and placed it on the floor in the kitchen.

"Well, open it.. let’s see what he looks like." Commanded Buck.

Dunne tentatively undid the latch to the container and stepped away. For a few moments there was only silence, until suddenly first one then another green eye glared out from the darkened area.

"Try calling him." Encouraged Wilmington.

Dunne knelt down in front of the opening and began, "Here kitty, kitty… nice cat.. nice Chris cat… come on out…. here kitty, kitty."

"Tip the box up." Urged Buck.

"No, you’ll scare him."

"Aw hell." Wilmington reached over and none too gently tipped the box over depositing one large, mean, black, feral cat at their feet.

"Shit Buck, I think you made him angry."

"Him angry! He’s just a damn mangy alley cat." Buck said as he reached unsteadily down and tried to pat the black demon. The next minute he was laying flat out on the floor with one very angry feline meowing menacingly on his chest.

"Ah… J.D…. get him off."

"You upset him!"

"Hell, I’m always pissing Chris off.. it’s an art of mine. Now.." Buck continued as he allowed a forced smile to cross his face, "get the nice kitty cat off the nice Wilmington chest before I get the nice .44 and plug the nice fur ball with a nice bullet." With that, the cat leapt of the muscular chest and settled himself on the sofa.

Dunne knelt down and helped Wilmington back to his feet.

"See," he said "He’s smart."

"Yeah… real smart." Sighed Buck. "Now, let’s see how smart he is at catching those mice."

‘Chris’ remained curled on the sofa for the rest of the day, flicking his tail occasionally. J.D. left a bowl of milk and some cat food on the bench in the kitchen and, bidding the black cat goodnight, went to his room.

The next morning Dunne awoke to a pounding on his bedroom door. The door was flung open and an irate Buck Wilmington stood, well kinda stood, on crutches at the door.

"Come here!" he roared.

"What? What happened?" Dunne asked wiping sleep filled eyes.

"Get out here and see what your Chris has done."

The young agent yawned and followed Buck out into the living area of their apartment. He looked up and swore as he slowly scanned the room before him.

And there it was…. the cushions were torn to pieces… stuffing strewn from one end of the room to the other. The potted plants had been used as the kitty tray… dirt sprayed around the floor. Picture frames lay smashed on the floor… and the leather sofa had been used as a scratching post. J.D. looked horrified. Stepping forward he bent down and picked up something off the ground. Turning to the still fuming Wilmington, he offered, "Hey Buck?"

The ladies man swung around unsteadily on his crutches and glared at the smaller man. "WHAT!"

Holding up his right hand he showed what he had found. Dangling between his fingers was the remains of one dead mouse. The rear end remains of one dead mouse.

"Looks like he got one." Said Dunne meekly, then continued. "Buck, maybe the mouse did all this."

Luckily J.D. was able to duck out of the way of the flying crutch and watched it sail past and embed itself into the plaster wall.

"Uh, Buck you …. ah …… put a hole in the wall."

Seeing the older agent’s face growing redder and redder by the moment, he added, "At least he got one… I mean it must have been one hell of a fight."

Once again J.D. showed his agility by ducking the other flying crutch.

‘CLEAN…..IT……UP!"

"Sure thing Buck… I’m on it right away… I’ll just lock Chris up first…. You…ah… you… just go back to bed….. I’ll take care of everything. Oh…. Black coffee Buck??"

Wilmington turned to hobble back to his room. J.D. wrenched the first crutch from the wall and carefully offered it to the big man. "Don’t forget your crutch Buck."

Buck snatched it on his way past and disappeared.

J.D. carefully picked up the marauding animal and placed it back into it’s crate. He then proceeded to piece together the remains of the Wilmington-Dunne household.

"J.D.!" came a roar from the bedroom.

"Yes Buck… I’m coming!"

"The cat goes!!"

"But… but Buck!!"

"He goes today. End of discussion."

^-^ ^-^ ^-^ ^-^

=o= =o= =o= =o=

Buck and J.D. had silently worked throughout most of the day. Later in the afternoon, Buck had decided to leave the office to check that the apartment was still in one piece. He arranged with the younger agent to meet him at the car at 6 p.m. to give him a lift home.

Ezra left the office just after Dunne and, arriving a short time later at the basement car park noticed J.D. and Buck talking seriously together. He shuffled along in the shadows until he was close enough to hear the conversation.

"I just came from the apartment J.D., he’s torn it up again." Wilmington sighed as he leaned heavily on his crutches.

"But I can work with him…. Let him get out all that pent up anger with me!"

"Look J.D., you’ve got to give him up. Let Chris go."

‘Chris’, Ezra’s ears pricked. ‘Are they talking about our Chris?’

"But he likes me." said J.D.

"How do you know Chris likes you?"

"Well… when he came into my room last night, he started to rub up and down my leg."

Ezra’s mouthed dropped, his eyes wide and round.

"And you think that means he likes you?"

"Well … yeah… I mean I was reading a book about it, and it said that it’s a show of affection."

"Sure, sure it is." Buck placed his hand on the young man’s shoulder. "Look Kid, you’ve never experienced this before have you?"

"No. My parent always said that I was too young. Not responsible enough to do it, so this is my first serious attempt at a relationship of this type."

"Well I have. And believe me Chris will rub up against anyone’s leg if he gets the chance, don’t mean he likes you anymore than anyone else, just means he wants something from you."

"Are you sure? I mean I really think we could have a really close relationship if we give it some time. I just know he feels something for me, I just know it."

The Southerner shook his head. This was a dream, surely not Chris and J.D.!! No. He smiled to himself, there has to be another explanation. Please dear Lord there HAS to be another explanation.

Buck sighed. "I wasn’t going to tell you this… but… well, Chris rubbed up against my leg too. And he sat on my lap as well the other night. Hell, he even let me rub the inside of his leg."

"Shit!" cursed Standish quietly. Then silently berated himself for his outburst.

J.D. was crestfallen. "But I thought… I really thought we had something special, something between the two of us… a long term relationship."

"Sorry to disappoint you kid….I….I… just thought you should know."

"But what about the other morning… when I woke up with him sitting on my face! I swear he was purring at me."

‘On his face?’ frowned Ezra, R rated visions flashed through his mind. ‘that is low even for you Mr. Larabee’

"Well… yeah… that does mean he likes you I guess, but how long before waking up on your face isn’t enough?" admitted Buck

"Has he ever sat on your face?"

"Well…no, not that I can recall….."

"See!" exclaimed Dunne, "See I knew he feels something special for me, I just knew it!"

"Now don’t go gettin’ all worked up. Hell, the next young man that comes along and shows him a little bit of affection.. well, he’d be off sitting on his face in a second."

"But…."

"That’s the way of the world son, there are a lot out there like Chris, drifting along, never settling with one person for too long, siddling up to anyone with a kind word and a warm lap. Probably on his way right now to grab a pretty little pussy in some back alley some where."

‘Arrrggghhhhh, I need a drink’ thought Ezra.

"I’ll tell you what I did notice though kid." Added Wilmington. "He loves to get a tickle behind his right ear."

"Really?"

"Yep, he’ll do just about anything for it. AND he can’t resist it. Actually never knew one that could. They all have their weak spots and this is Chris’."

"So, he can’t be all bad…. If he responds to a tickle. If he was as wild as you said he was nothing would be able to soothe him."

"C’mon kid," Wilmington said as he opened to door to the car, "Let me tell you about my experiences with other ‘Chris’s that have crossed my path."

Buck and J.D. hopped in the car and drove out of the car park.

"I can not allow this to happen!" said Ezra out loud. "I will have to step in to save poor Mr. Dunne from the predatory animal that is Chris Larabee." The Southerner straightened his jacket and began walking purposefully toward his car. "Ezra, you will finally do the Standish name proud in the defence of your fellow agent and friend." He announced to himself as he jumped into the front seat of his Jaguar and screeched away.

^-^ ^-^ ^-^

=o= =o= =o=

"Morning Ezra." Greeted Larabee slightly amazed that the Southerner was the first one in the office. "It’s a bit early for you, isn’t it?"

"Ah yes Mr. Larabee, but I thought that today I would get an early start on some decidedly unsavoury business that needs my urgent attention."

"Actually, it’s good that you’re here before the others. I need to speak to you, alone." The ATF leader said as he turned and walked in to his office beckoning the Southerner to follow him.

‘Now’s your chance Ezra, don’t mess it up.’ Standish thought. Taking a deep breath to steady himself he followed his leader.

The blond walked around and sat behind his desk. Looking up he motioned for the still standing agent to sit.

"I think I shall remain standing, if it’s all the same to you."

"Suit yourself." Larabee sighed. "I’d like to fill you in on the undercover operation for next week.. You and I shall be going in together….."

"I don’t think so." The Southerner said quietly

"What did you say?"

"I shall not be participating in any ‘one on one’ undercover work with you… not now that I know."

"I’m not asking you out on a date Standish, I’m telling you…."

"You see it’s not that I object to this kind of lifestyle, everybody is entitled to live their own life as they see fit. What I cannot allow is you taking advantage of someone so young… so inexperienced."

"What language are you talking in?" asked a shocked Larabee.

"And if you are expecting a leg rub or a quick tickle behind the ear, you are sorely mistaken SIR!"

"Are you taking drugs?" Chris asked confused.

"I KNOW!!! I know about your little secret liasons with our Mr. Dunne." Standish growled.

"Ezra, what’s the matter with you? What secret liasons?" Larabee asked trying to work out what the hell the other man was talking about.

"I am here to stop any further corruption of the young man at the hands of such a ruthless creature such as yourself. And to think, Mr. Wilmington has done nothing in the defence of the young man."

"You’re fuckin’ crazy. If this is what it’s like having you come into the office early.. well.. maybe you’d better continue to come in late.!"

"You sat on his face! How could you? Especially J.D.!! He’s only a child!"

"Ezra, I swear! You are insane. I don’t know what secret you’re talking about, and I don’t care!! And I didn’t sit on anyone’s face… not recently anyway. Now, I’m gonna count to three and you better be out of my office by then, or they’re gonna be scraping pieces of you up off the ceiling!"

"One."

"Mr. Larabee we shall continue this in the presence of the others later…."

"Two"

Ezra casually turned and walked into the outer office, while Chris slumped back into his seat, his mouth wide open and a frown across his face. Shaking his head he continued to stare at the open door.

"I need a holiday." He thought.

^-^ ^-^ ^-^ ^-^

=o= =o= =o= =o=

"Hey Ezra, what are you doing here so early?" asked Dunne as he entered the office.

"Just call me your Knight in Shining Armour."

"Uh…. A what in Shining Armour Ezra?" But before he had a chance to answer Buck entered.

"J.D., he’s gone." Wilmington said sadly.

Dunne’s face dropped. "You took him back already?"

"Yep, had to. You know it was for the best."

"I suppose so." Agreed J.D despondently.

"And what seems to be the problem?" asked Nathan as he entered.

"Oh.. the cat that we had…. Buck took it back to the shelter." Said Dunne sadly. "He was too wild to keep locked up in the apartment."

"Don’t worry." Reassured Jackson. "I’m sure it was for the best."

"Yeah, but I thought we were really starting to get close. I mean… I’d just found that special spot behind his ear….."

"J.D.?" Ezra choked out. "J.D.? Wha--what… special spot…. Who--whose special spot?"

"Oh, Chris’….I mean our cat… his name was Chris….. anyway…."

"You mean you had a cat called Chris?"

"Yeah, was starting to get kinda attached to him…."

"A cat….. named Chris… as in our Chris???…. as in that Chris in there???" Standish stuttered as the color drained from his face.

"Yeah….." answered J.D. puzzled now.

"As in… rubbing against your leg…. As in sleeping on your face Chris?"

"Yeah….." Dunne looked confused now and turned to look at Buck.

"OH GOOD LORD!" Standish exclaimed and suddenly collapsed into his seat.

"You alright Ezra, you look like you’ve seen a ghost." Commented Jackson.

"I don’t feel so good."

Josiah and Vin arrived and went to their respective desks.

"Mornin’" greeted Tanner. "Ezra, what’s the matter with you?"

The Southerner began banging his head against the keyboard on the desk before him. "A cat" he groaned. "Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh"

"Now there’s somethin’ you don’t see everyday." Commented Buck dryly.

"Nope, wonder if he got to watching the wrestling last night on TNN, now that that good show… what was it called? … you know, that western show with the seven cowboys…. anyway, since that show got ditched. That’d sure make me bash my head against something hard." J.D. offered.

"Ahhh, careful Ezra, you know what happens if you hit the F ‘n’ A buttons together at the wrong time." Laughed Nathan.

The man in black was brought from his office by the continued ‘thump, thump, thump’

"Chris, what should we do?" asked Vin concerned.

Larabee glared at Ezra. "Move the keyboard before he breaks it."

Without missing a beat the Texan deftly pushed the keyboard aside. The rhythmic ‘thump, thump’ was replaced with a hollow ‘bang, bang’ as one embarrassed Southern skull made contact with one wooden desktop.

"Oh and Vin?" the blond agent leant in to his friend and whispered. "You might want to get Psych. up here. I think Ezra’s finally lost it."

‘bang, bang’

"A cat"

‘bang, bang’

"aarrgghhhh"

‘bang, bang’

"A cat"

‘bang, bang’

THE END