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THE TEAM

COACH
Dan Frioli
CENTER
Super Captain Spiffy Man
Hailing from Hawthorne, New Jersey, Dan Frioli has seen the first two "Mighty Ducks" movies and knows how to spell "Gretzky."  While he's never actually coached hockey before (or, for that matter, played it), Dan does have a clipboard, a whistle, and a really keen stopwatch.
Super Captain Spiffy Man is something of a mystery--who is he?  Why does he conceal his identity?  Does his license read "Man, Super Captain Spiffy?"

At any rate, this season promises to be good to the Captain, who is renowned for his lightning speed and his accurate slapshot.

Right Wing
Maxwell O'Keefe
Left Wing
Syphilis the Clown
A native of Columbia City, Maxwell is the team's oldest member.  Don't let that fool you, though--if you're not careful he'll fake you out of your pants. 
He may be slow, but just try to block this infected wonder.  If his body check doesn't lay you flat, his body odor will.
Defense
Corporal "Nick" Nicholson
Defense
Corporal "Shep" Shephard
Corporal "Nick" Nicholson of Tagon's Toughs is big, strong, and violent--and can count to eight all by himself.  Nick is here through the generosity of Howard Tayler.  Thanks!
"Shep" Shephard, another of the toughs, augments Nick's defensive abilities.  It's hard enough to get through one wall of human flesh--our opponents have to get through two.  Shep is also here through Howard Tayler's good graces.
Goalie
Kan Kong
He insisted.  Really.