Stuff to remember when E-mailing:
Whoever decided to create this note and forward it on should receive some type of
humanitarian award. It says it all!
- Big companies don't do business via chain
letters. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000,
and Disney is not giving you a free vacation.
There is no baby food company issuing
class-action checks. Proctor and Gamble is
not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its
logo is not satanic. MTV will not give you
backstage passes if you forward something
to the most people. The Gap is not giving
away free clothes. You can relax; there is
no need to pass it on "just in case it's true."
There is no such thing as "tracking software"
that can tell how many people you sent
something to.
- There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans.
No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice,
even if a friend of a friend swears it happened
to their cousin. If you are hell-bent on
believing the kidney-theft ring stories, see:
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
And, I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has
repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of
organ thieves to come forward and tell their
stories." None have. That's "none" as in "zero."
Not even your friend's cousin.
- Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200
cookie recipe. And even if they do, we all
have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at:
http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html
Then, if you make the recipe, decide the
cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass
the recipe on.
- If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID
contain plutonium that went to particulate
over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY
think this information would reach the public
via an AOL chain letter?
- There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you
should never, ever, ever forward any email
containing any virus warning unless you first
confirm that an actual site of an actual
company that actually deals with viruses.
Try: http://www.norton.com
And even then, don't forward it. We don't
care. And you cannot get a virus from a
flashing IM or email, you have to download
it....ya know, like, a FILE!
- There is no gang initiation plot to murder any
motorist who flashes headlights at another car
driving at night without lights.
- If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to
write email, turn off the "HTML encoding."
Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and
don't care enough to save the attachment and
then view it with a web browser since you're
probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman
Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.
- If you still absolutely MUST forward that
10th-generation message from a friend, at
least have the decency to trim the eight
miles of headers showing everyone else
who's received it over the last 6 months.
It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the """ and > > > >
that begin each line either. Besides, if it
has gone around that many times we've probably
already seen it.
- Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc)
in England is not dying of cancer or anything
else at this time and would like everyone to
stop sending him their business cards. He
apparently is no longer a "little boy" either.
- The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real
organization doing fine work, but they have
had to establish a special toll free hot line
in response to the large number of Internet
hoaxes using their good name and reputation.
It is distracting them from the important work
they do.
- If you are one of those insufferable idiots who
forwards anything that "promises" something
bad will happen if you "don't," then something
bad will happen to you if I ever meet you in a
dark alley.
- Women really are suffering in Afghanistan,
but forwarding an e-mail won't help their
cause in the least. If you want to help,
contact your local legislative representative,
or get in touch with Amnesty International or
the Red Cross.
- As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are
easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with
any power to do anything about whatever the
competition is complaining about.
- KFC really does use real Chickens with
feathers and beaks and feet. No, they really
do. Why did they change their name? In this
health conscious world, what was KFC's
name? Kentucky FRIED Chicken. FRIED
is not healthy. So with the help of a focus
group, they changed the name to KFC. It's
short, doesn't offend dieters and it's easy to
remember.
- Another thing, just because someone said in
a message, four generations back, that "we
checked it out and it's legit," does not
actually make it true. PS: There is no bill
pending before Congress that will allow long
distance companies to charge you for using
the Internet.
- There never was a charred scuba diver found
in a forest fire, Neil Armstrong never said
"good luck Mr. Gorsky", no one has ever sent
the Smithsonian a barbie claiming it to be an
"archaeological find", and no one has ever
crashed a jet powered car or an old car with
a stolen jet engine strapped to it into the
side of a cliff. (except maybe Wiley coyote)
- There are no cockroach eggs in Taco Bell's
food or Rat urine on the tops of Coke cans,
and no one has ever gotten aids from a needle
in a ball pit at McDonalds or the coin slot of
a pay phone.
Bottom Line... composing e-mail or posting
something on the Net is as easy as writing on the
walls of a public restroom. Don't automatically
believe it until it's proven false... ASSUME it's
false, unless there is proof that it's true. You
can de-bunk 90% of the garbage you receive by
going to:
http://www.urbanlegends.com
Now forward this to everyone you know or the
program I just put on your hard drive while you
read this will open up your CD-ROM and slap you upside the head!