Mood:  spacey

Welp Y'all, It's has been a long while since I have been able to get online to work on the site. I can tell you that I have made several changes with just the last hour or so.

It's good to get back to working on my site. Hopefully anyone who has visited before will like the changes I have made so far. And also I hope that I don't have to be away from the site as long as I have been ever again.

My mother has some form of dementia which her doctors can't quite name. They won't say for sure that it's alzeimer's or not, because she also suffers from migraine headaches, and it could be that all of the medications she has taken over the years has effected her badly. So I have been trying to deal with her the best way I can.

She won't be put into a nursing home if I have anything to do with it. My brother might say otherwise. It's a fight he will lose for damn sure.

Anyway, it is really good to be back at woking on the site. If this is your first visit, please come back for another visit.

Mood:  irritated

My apologies for not getting the address for the new blog posted sooner. I've had a lot going on lately, and not much of it has been good.

Anyway, click on the link to get to the: New Better Hells Blog. I'm hopefully going to leave this posted here another 2 weeks, and then this blog will be gone and replaced by a new front page. This will free up some space on this site. I know I've only used about a third of what I am alotted by Angelfire, however it's onlt 20MB. So I need to save as much as possible for other stuff I'd like to add to the site.

So I would now like to invite all the GLBT community, the Wiccan/Pagan/Heathen community and anyone else who cares to start a thread on my blog to do so. I'd appreciate it if there wasn't any porn or hate of any kind posted on the blog. It will be removed before it gets a chance to be posted, as I will filter these types of messages out. Those are the only things I ask of anyone who visits. I doubt too many people would have trouble with them

For now I have some things to do. Peace and Blessed Be.

Mood:  not sure

In the very near future the Better Hells Blog will be transferred to MySpace.com. This is to save as much space as I can to keep adding my poems and other stuff to Better Hells & Mine Fields.

Also in the future I will be giving public access to some of my Yahoo photo albums that contain some of the crap I like to call digital art. Of course, the latter action requires anyone that wishes to view my photo albums to have a Yahoo account. That shouldn't be much of a problem for most people.

Also, I may convert the Better Hells & Mine Fields Gay & Lesbian Links main page to the main page of Better Hells. It is just one thing I am considering. I will also be eliminating the paranormal page, the strange room (serial killer) page and a few others.

The pages that will remain will deal primarily with Gay & Lesbian issues and Wiccan/Pagan/Heathenism.

I'll add the address for the new blog some time this weekend. Until then just keep checking back to find out what's new here in the Mine Field.

Later.

Mood:  not sure

I have added a couple of new poems to the poetry section of Better Hells. One of them, Embrace, was written by me, and the other, Fluke, was written by my ex-girlfriend.

Lately these are just about the only updates I have done throughout the site. I know I need to do more, however to my own misfortune and monatary need, I had to take a day job over the graveyard shift job that I had previously. Believe me, I thank the Goddess for dark sunglasses. Anyway, I just don't have as much time to deal with the site as I had before.

I plan to do quite a bit of work on my next weekend off from work. In the meantime just check out the new poems. I plan to add some more in the next week or so. So if you have a thing for real f---ed up poetry just keep checking back. You will be seeing some new stuff. Thanks for the hits.

Later.

Mood:  irritated

I have recreated the Computer Virus Info Page, because of a W32 worm variant that got into my computer.

I'm not sure just why people have to write programs that either damage or all out destroy other people's computers, however if these people are caught they should never be let out of prison and never be given access to a computer while they are in prison.

Granted, its not like they have killed anyone by messing with my computer, however in many cases the damage they cause is worth billions of dollars in damage when they get into corporate computer systems and wreak havoc.

When the corps lose that much money it is the consumer who ends up paying for the work of a few destructive people, who could be using their talents for something much more useful.

Mood:  not sure

Trippin' Graphics has got to be one of the worst graphic sites ever created. Oh well, I like it anyway. Besides I helped create some of the crap that's over there. Not all of it. Just some of it.

So far there are only a few backgrounds and bars. However, there will be more added over time. Ya might actually like some of the crap that's on The Trippin' Graphics site. Check it out.

Mood:  not sure

Hopefully I will be doing the same thing to the Wiccan/Pagan pages and the Goth pages real soon. The graphics are wasting space, and as many as possible have to go. Since I don't get very many visitors to the Wiccan/Pagan and Goth pages I doubt anyone will miss the graphics, and maybe the fact that the pages won't take so damn long to load will attract more visitors.

Who knows what will happen?

Maybe somebody will actually read the crap that I am posting here too. Maybe!

Mood:  celebratory

A long time ago I was disgusted whenever I heard the word freak when someone applied it to me. I was so deep in my closet that I could not accept the fact that I was one of the freaks of the world. I wasted a lot of time hiding from the world and cowering behind my own inhibitions. I was worried about what other people thought of me, and at that time I would have argued that I was most certainly not a freak. I would have also lied and told you that I never ever had a thought of sleeping with another woman, much less having sex with her.

A lot has happened over the last eight years. I finally got brave enough to kick the closet door down and start living my life as the person I really am. I am a lesbian. I love women. I would like to some day be able to marry the woman I love. However, even just after I came out I would have still argued that I was not and never would be a freak. Most recently I have changed my mind. I am a freak, and I am proud of it.

What has changed my mind? You might ask. Well, it has taken a while, however I have become more comfortable in my own skin, and I have realized that the people who can actually admit that they are freaks are more honest with themselves and other people, especially other freaks. Why should I worry about what anyone else thinks of me? I am now more worried about those who inhibit themselves to the point that they would hurt themselves or someone else, because they are afraid of what someone else might think of them. I was almost one of them.

Honestly do you really think all of the so-called moral majority have never been banged while they were tied up, tied down, or up against the wall? In his book, The Sanctity of Marriage: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage-Between a Man and a Woman-by Those Who Cast the First Stone, Bryan Harris takes a look at how the moral majority have tried to hide all of their own tawdry affairs while trying to fry someone like Bill Clinton for the same things they, themselves try to keep well hidden.

While I can neither condone nor endorse what Bill Clinton did while he served as president as being morally correct from a stand-point, of the fact that he is a married man. I cannot stand to have anyone around me who just can't get the stick out of their ass and own up to having sex before marriage, fooling around on their partners or spouses, having a same sex fling, and/or just being a little freaky now and then. Because there are a Hell of a lot more people in this country who have done one or more of these things than there are people who have not. The moral majority would like the rest of us to believe that they have never done any of these things much less actually enjoyed having sex. I really don't think the entire moral majority just goes with the missionary position all the time. I also don't believe that those same people have never enjoyed a good orgasm once in a while either.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that the people who consider themselves to be part of the moral majority need to go shouting about their sexual encounters to the rest of the world. Frankly I wouldn't want any details from the bedroom of George W. and Laura Bush. Nor would I like to know about what the hooker was saying to Jerry Fallwell when she was talking dirty to him. Who would? Uhg!!!

I would just like for them to mellow out and not insult the intelligence of the rest of us by insinuating that they have never done anything sexually explicit. The people in this country who sit in judgement of the freaks around them are truly no better than the freaks. And they should have no right what-so-ever judging what is morally correct between two consenting adults.

As I said, the moral majority sits in judgement of those of us who are Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgendered, Cross-dressers, and/or into a little or a lot of BDSM now and then. I seem to remember reading in The Bible something about Jesus saying, "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone." I also remember reading something about, "Judge not. Lest thou not be judged."

If a wiccan/pagan lesbian like myself can remember these things from The Bible, then why can't the Bible-thumping moral majority, who I have it on very good authority are not truly the majority at all, just own up to being freaks. What are they so afraid of? Going to Hell? If they truly believed they would go to Hell for sinning, wouldn't getting a divorce be considered a sin? Think about it. When two people get married don't they swear to stay married. "for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part"? And I've got news for them, they are doing a very good job of creating Hell right here on earth.

So if all of the real freaks would get out and vote, then the world would be a much better place. November 12, 2008, let's have the freaky majority out voting. Let the Gays, Lesbians, Bi-sexuals, Crossdressers and BDSM freaks take over the world. You can start with your local elections and work your way up. Be a freak. Be proud, and get out and vote.

Mood:  don't ask

I've added a couple of new poems to the Poetry Section of the site. The first one is called The River.
The second one is called Fall Away.
Just jump on over to the Poetry Section and check'em out. would appreciate your visit.

Thanks for coming this far. I'm outta here for now. I'm still working to make the site better and more organized. All I ask is your patience. Please keep coming back to check my progress.

Later.

Mood:  a-ok

For the last few months (what seems like forever) I have not been able to access the internet from my computer, because about the time I was out of work and couldn't afford it, my modem decided to die. However I have been working for a couple months now, and I finally managed to buy a modem and install it. I would have done it sooner if I had been able. The wonderful this is that now I can return to spewing my own brand of basic BS on the net.

Believe me. Not having internet access in my house has been driving me crazy, which I freely admit is not a far drive. Yes, I did go to the library as much as possible. However an hour or 2 just isn't enough for an internet junkie like me. I am so happy to be back online. I have been trying to remember what I did before computers and ISPs came about.

Anyway, it's good to be back and to be able to work on The Nightshift and Better Hells and Mine Fields again.

Later!

Mood:  lazy

Tonight I have removed the page I had of Fantasy Art Links. It is now a part of the new Robert E. Howard Related Links Page.

I have also added links to sci-fi/fantasy magazines and to horror magazines to the new REH Links page.

I've still got a lot of work to do before I'll be satisfied with the Robert E. Howard section of my site. Just keep checking in to see what's new.

For now I'm outta here.

Mood:  don't ask

There is nothing really major to report in the way of site updates right now. However I have added a new poem called, Social Death to the poetry section. And in the near future I will be adding more of my poems, as well as poems by my ex, celticanne77, with her permission, of course.

That's all I have to talk about right now. I have slowly but surely changing the look of my site for well over a year now. I've had several major interuptions, however I have been working on certain things off-line. So I will be making a lot more changes, like I said.

Mood:  down

Some days I just don't think I am allowed to be happy. Believe me. I would like to have a nice happy life. however most of the time things just won't go my way.

I know a lot of people feel this way. We all have our various reasons for feeling like we do. If you're taking meds, some days are better than others. Sometimes the meds help. Sometimes they don't.

Either way you don't seem to be in control of your life. When you're on the meds it's not you behind the wheel (so to speak). When you're off the meds you're on an emotional roller coaster. It just never seems to stop.

For me, on or off the meds, the roller coaster ride never seems to end. However trying to explain it to anyone around me, even if they too suffer from depression, is quite impossible most of the time.

Anyone who doesn't suffer from depression or suffers from slight depression just doesn't understand the apathetic state that I sometomes find myself in.

Lately, I have no real reason to put my heart into anything. Hell, I'm not even really into writing this post, however I am hoping that maybe I'll snap out of it, and get busy doing things I need to be doing.

I need to pay more attention to my cats and dogs, however I have found myself sending them away without so much as a pat on the head. Nothing is their fault. I just don't feel like dealing with any kind of creatures lately, human or otherwise.

Anyway, this is really going nowhere right now, so I'm just gonna give it a rest. I'll try writing more later. That's both a threat and a promise.

I started cleaning up the site quite a while back, and honestly I haven't got much done until the last couple of days. And even with what I have acomplished I still have a lot more to go. So please just keep coming back to check out my site.

Over the last couple of days I have worked on the
Better Hells & Mine Fields Poetry Pages. I cleared out a lot of the un-necessary graphics and just generally tried to make it look better. Check it out, and let me know what you think