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With the dignities of a corpse and a smile of a Barbie doll. I hold my hands out.
With the denial of your sins and my silly perverse ways I hold my hands out.
With my messy hair my tattered clothes and bruised knees my arms still reach out.
With a heart so injured and a soul so strong with a refusal to give in yet with a
bond to never be broken with an ego so wide I stand so tall with it all being
shattered under my own two feet dropped by your miserable shaking hands I
bleed for walking into it with a a life so cruel a test so hard a night so long a echo
in my head a warning from above a headstone from the past a new face
new arms new lips new thoughts I start to let go. With an underestimation
of my powers and a mistake that will not soon be forgotten. My
arms are open wide, my ears are shut tight, my heart is open for anyone
to hold. With a pain so fierce and a boy so ugly I will except you. im waiting
it is all to be expected...



I liked to stare at you, I liked to admire you. IM in love with you and surrounded
by insanity. I liked to touch you, I liked to breath your breath. I love you.
You seemed so sweet, you seemed like a prince charming peeled right off the
pages of a childhood story book. My blood is ice cold and starting to rush.
Wait now IM confused. Is what I am reading right? IM getting dizzy. I like to
glare at you, I like to make your mind spin as you make mine. Are you
confused now? Stand back IM going to implode, IM sorry, this is so messy.
Sometimes I feel flustered. Oh wait oh god has this madness gone to your head?
Or is this just my own sick self indulgence? Sometimes I lean back and smirk
while you sweat, other times I panic, IM sorry I didn't mean it dont let it seep
inside so deep. STOP! Or have you forgotten how? What happened to the
reality? What happened to real feelings? Words that have meaning? What is this?
I want you to vanish from this earth, wait..where do you think you are going?
How far can this go? When is it enough? When do you feel like nothing and
no longer care? I hold you tight how unfortunate, the madness is now well
above my head and I am drowning it. I cant breath, I cant move, although
I have all the freedom in the world and nothing is holding me, and although
this is some sort or self hate I cant, wont, and do not want to escape.
When you are so small I am so big.