486 - The average IQ needed to understand a computer.
CGI Joe - A hard-core CGI script programmer with the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
Crapplet - A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet.
Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Egosurfing - Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers looking for the mention of your name.
Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."
GUI - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")
Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.
Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.
Laptop - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on holiday, and on business trips.
Link Rot - The process by which links on a web page became as obsolete as the sites they're connected to change location or die.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from Dos.
State of the art - Any computer you can't afford.
Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.
WWW. - World wide wait


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