THE POOP GUIDE
1.THE GHOST POOP:
The kind of poo where you feel it come out and you know you've done it, but when you wipe, there is nothing on the paper
and there is no poo in the toilet. Where did it go ?
2. THE CLEAN POOP:
The sort of poo that is so streamlined and smooth that it virtually falls out of your arse.
You can see poo in the toilet, but none on the paper.
3. THE HOT TAR POOP:
The kind of poo where even after twenty wipes you still get staining on the paper,
so you have to put some bog-roll betwen your cheeks to prevent skidmarks.
4. THE SECOND THOUGHT POOP:
Just when you think you have finished and have painstakingly wiped yourself clean and pulled your keks up to your
knees, you realise that there is still some poo that wants to come out.
5. THE LINCOLN LOG POOP:
The kind of poo that's so huge your afraid that it will not flush down the toilet unless you break it up into little
pieces with the bog brush.This poo only happens when you are at someone elses house!
6. THE "I WISH I COULD POO" POOP:
You really feel like you need a poo, but when you try, all you manage is a few noisy farts.
7. THE BOO-HOO POOP:
This poo hurts so bad you swear it is coming out sideways - your eyes water and you'll probably need a few stitches.
8. THE FISHERMANS BOBBER POOP:
You have your poo and flush the loo twice but there are still several golf ball size bits floating on the top.
9. THE SULTANA POOP:
This type of poo is really frustrating. You get yourself prepared for a side birth and spend about half an hour
sweating it out on the loo, but all you manage in the end is a small plop resembling a sultana!
10. THE SWEETCORN POOP:
This kind of poo is self explanatory!
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