1. What appliaction do you expect to use the most ?
DOS)     Spreadsheet
OS/2)    Large complex database
Windows) solitaire
Unix)    GREP

2. What is your favourite TV show ?
DOS)     "Nova"
OS/2)    "The MacNeil-Lehrer Report"
Windows) "Woody Woodpecker"
Unix)    The 3:00am test pattern

3. What is your favourite Hobby ?
DOS)     Stamp collecting
OS/2)    Bird watching
Windows) Snail racing
Unix)    Button collecting

4. What kind of clothes do you prefer ?
DOS)     Sports suit, no tie
OS/2)    Suit & tie
Windows) Sweater & jeans
Unix)    Nerdy t-shirt, jeans, no underpants

5. What kind of music do you like ?
DOS)     The Beatles
OS/2)    Classical
Windows) New Age fusion music
Unix)    Tuba solos

6. What's your favourite colour ?
DOS)     Modern beige
OS/2)    Blue
Windows) Stark white
Unix)    Pizza-stain red

7. What's your favourite car ?
DOS)     Ford
OS/2)    Lexus
Windows) Fake Bugatti
Unix)    Borgward

8. Who is your favourite Artist ?
DOS)     Rembrandt
OS/2)    Pollack
Windows) Dali
Unix)    Gary Larsen

9. Who is your favourite Author ?
DOS)     Robert Heinlein
OS/2)    Tom Wolfe
Windows) John Madden
Unix)    Walt Disney

10.Whos is your favourite Actor ?
DOS)     Rod Steiger
OS/2)    John Wayne
Windows) Leonard Nimoy
Unix)    Richard Simmons

11.Who was your favourite President ?
DOS)     Abe Lincoln
OS/2)    Ronald Reagan
Windows) Jack Kennedy
Unix)    Hubert Humphrey

12.What's your preferred breakfast food ?
DOS)     Cereal
OS/2)    Steak & eggs
Windows) Soft-boiled egg
Unix)    Pizza

13.If time wasn't important, how would you prefer to travel ?
DOS)     Walk
OS/2)    Steam train
Windows) Hot air balloon
Unix)    Pogo stick

14.(to be answered by men) If you were stuck on a desert island with only 1
   woman, whom would you choose ?
DOS)     Kim Basinger
OS/2)    Meryl Streep
Windows) Dr. Ruth Westheimer
Unix)    A photo of Kim Basinger

15.(to be answered by women) If you were stuck on a desert island with only 
   1 man, whom would you choose ?
DOS)     Kevin Costner
OS/2)    Arnold Schwarzeneger
Windows) Bill Gates
Unix)    A photo of Kim Basinger

16.When you get up in the morning, what is the first thing you do ?
DOS)     Shower
OS/2)    Brush teeth
Windows) Gargle
Unix)    Pick off food stuck to body from sleeping with pizza

17.What's the last thing you do before going to bed ?
DOS)     Let out cat, turn off lights
OS/2)    Brush teeth
Windows) Pray
Unix)    Check to see if there is a pizza in the bed

Tally your score and don't waste a minute finding pleasure in the operating system that suits you best. 
One disclaimer I have to make: 
Anyone scoring 17 straight "Unix" answers should seek counselling immediately.

John DvorakŠ

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