back, my friends, to the show that never ends...
You have reached the
personal question & answer site for the hottest...the
sexiest...the best pure athlete in the realm of sports
entertainment. This is your chance to get inside the mind
(as if that’s all you’d like to get inside...) behind the
body. Send me your questions, words of praise, love sonnets,
and marraige proposals at
email@example.com and check
back here often to see how I respond.
02.14.00... “BRAHMABULL625” asks:
“If not Bast, would you...uhh...you know...with Taser?”
I like the way your mind works, Bull! And in response...what makes you think I haven’t? p.s. Happy Valentine’s Day!
02.11.00... “A Burn Fan” asks:
“Burn, what would be the best advice you could give to a female wanting to break into the world of intergalactic wrestling?”
Well, you’re definitely asking the right person, there, Burn Fan. (Which one? I mean, isn’t everyone?) After all, in the history of the sport, has there ever been a competitor—male or female—with this much talent? Or style? Or raw sex appeal?
But to answer your question, the best advice I can give is to wear tight pants when you meet the promoter, and be prepared to bend over backwards (or frontwards, or sideways, or over the couch) to get what you want.
And one more thing...If you ever see Burn’s name on one of your contracts, submit then and there. I’d hate to end the career of one of my fans.
02.11.00... “A Burn Fan” asks:
“Burn, could you tell us a bit about your past and why you chose to leave your home of Aethra?”
Well, you do like to ask probing questions, don’t you? Don’t get me wrong...I like being probed as much as the next girl. Probably more.
On my homeworld, I was a Pit-Fighter—one of the very best. I routinely kicked the pants off (and they loved it) of men and women from all over the galaxy, sometimes two or three at a time (those nights were my favorites). After the fights, I’d spend the rest of the evening on the arms (or some other body parts) of the most influential people in Aethran society. Not that you can blame them, there. I mean, I’d certainly want to “get to know me better,” if you follow me.
Of course, I already “know” myself very well, but that’s another question altogether...
Anyway, It should come as no surprise that after years of total dominance in gladiatorial arenas (as well as more “private” settings), I got bored. It was just too damn easy beating up losers like Thrash or pathetic Andromedan (that’s Bast’s race, of course) war criminals night after night. When you’re this damn good, there’s just no challenge, there.
So...when Michael came to me with his offer, it was a no-brainer. Of course, I made him earn me, first. No one should ever think that Burn is easy... Though for once, I don’t think Michael minded spending a little time on his knees.
If you really want to know more about Aethra, I think another one of my fans (Damn, you people are everywhere!) is working on a reference book regarding the Aethran Empire. Check out his website at The Orbit Home Page. You won’t be disappointed.
02.02.00... “XKeltessX” asks:
“Hey, Burn...How far down do your tattoos go, anyway?”
Interesting question, Keltess. Burn’s tattoos are just like Burn, herself...They go all the way down!
01.19.00...You know, it seems like I’m asked the same
questions over and over again by countless people, so I’ll
just go ahead and answer them here, in no particular
And there you have it.
01.18.00... “TrstanAris” asks:
“Is it tough being so beautiful....Almost to the point of
being discriminated against because of that?”
See? We need more of
these idiot fans to ask intelligent questions like these.
Yes, Trstan, it can be a burden looking
good...And anyone else would have a tough time of things.
But Burn’s pretty much found the secret to getting her way,
whether someone thinks she’s just a pretty face (not to
mention a few other things), or acknowledges the superior
mind inside this goddess’ body. I can’t give away all my
secrets right here, but I’ll give you a hint that will serve
you well your whole life. Finish the line: “What goes
12.20.99... “aSickboi” asks:
“Since you are teamed with Bast in Sedition, and since
she’s a hotty also, do the two of you ever...you know?”
Finally, a man after
my own heart! Burn is impressed, Sickboi, and I don't
To answer your
question...I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Bast had a
thing for me. I mean...let’s face it. Have you
seen me? I’m not saying the idea
isn’t...interesting. But not with an Andromedan Beast like
Bast. She isn’t good enough to lick my boots, let alone
12.10.99... “Wimpy” asks:
“Would you ever consider dating a man who probably would
get his ass kicked if he stepped in the ring with you?”
Well, Wimpy, it’s like
this: there’s no real shame for a man to get his ass kicked
by Burn. Hell, I’m probably more woman than any
two men could handle, in the ring or out of it.
In other words, sure I’d consider it. If I'm capable of
keeping my man in line...well, it’s just one more chance for
Burn to end up on top.
12.7.99... “Raven” asks:
“Which of the Sentinels do you think is the best?”
entirely sure how to answer this question. Michael is stuffy
but has all the right tools. Cinq is quick in more ways than
one, if you take my meaning. Mischief is a good time, if you
can get past all the giggling—
Oh... You meant which
one is the best wrestler! Sorry, I thought you meant...something
Anyway, the answer to
your question is obvious. The best wrestler on the roster is
the vivacious vixen herself...the lady of love and the siren
of sex appeal...the adorable Aethran, Burn.
Other than that, it’s
a six-way tie for second best, with Bast in a distant last
11.8.99... “Wendy-Leigh” asks:
“Which of the GWF superstars are you currently dating?”
Well, it’s no secret
that I am hands down the most sought-after woman in the GWF.
Some of the names I could mention are too scandalous to
disclose publicly, but between you and me, I have a standing
offer from one particularly “savage” superstar, and I guess
it’s no surprise that I am the real reason a certain
up-and-comer turned “traitor” on his own wife and kid. I
would like to make one announcement, though: Omega, I’m not
interested. Please stop calling me.