Read and Enjoy "The Joke of the Week!"

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, "about 1,500." "That's right! You may enter." St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them.

A foursome is waiting at the mens tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet. She looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically: "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help.''

One of the men immediately replies: "Now, you see there is your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead.''

"OL' FRED

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the pastor stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The pastor thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He opened the note, and read, "Asshole, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"

On day, John decieded to invite over his mother for dinner with him and his room mate, Julie. Julie made a great dinner, but John's mother started to suspect more than freindship. The next day, Julie told John that the soup ladle was missing. This is the letter he wrote to his mother:

Dear Ma,

I'm not saying you did take the soup ladle, but I'm not saying you didn't. But the fact remains, It's missing.

Love,

John

This was her letter.

Dear John,

I'm not saying you did sleep with Julie, But I'm not saying you didn't. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would have found it by now.

Love,

Mom.